Another One Of My Bookish (Err Well Maybe More Blogging) Fears!

I’ve talked about one of the most terrifying things in my bookish life before but I’m now going to share with you another one in my bookish/blogger life. I’ll start off with the story that prompted this post.

So a few weeks ago I had a friend from high school (who I absolutely adore but just haven’t talked to really SINCE then) said to me, “SO…I was searching about wedding stress induced shingles today and guess what I found?”

Well, if you saw my post about my wedding and how I got stress induced shingles, then you’ll know why Iย  was ready to pee my pants and flashes of screaming out things like “DANGER! THERE HAS BEEN A BREACH IN SECURITY. WE ARE NOW ON LOCKDOWN” as loud warning bells blared in the background! The Google machine naturally led her straight to this blog! THIS was one of my biggest fears– somebody happening upon my blog that I knew.

Why is this a fear you might ask?

I’m very controlled in who I give my blog out to in terms of my friends. Most of my closest family and friends KNOW that I blog obviously but very few “IRL” people know about it or have the URL. I’ve been thinking a lot about WHY this caused me anxiety and here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. My blog is a very personal space to me. Sure, I do book reviews and what not but I also put A LOT of myself into this blog. When I’m reviewing a book that resonates with me, I might tell you why it does on a personal level. I share A LOT here on this blog. Things that I don’t necessarily want to be vulnerable about with people who know me. I guess sometimes it’s easier with my blog readers — people get how books can affect you deeply and personally. And also, sometimes I just don’t want to talk about these things with people who I may see in real life. I feel much safer on my blog which seems counter-intuitive I suppose.

2. I’m afraid people just won’t understand. I am unabashedly myself on my blog. It’s funny because you always think about how easy it is to be someone else with an online persona but I am more myself than ever. It’s funny even how much Will sees that with my blogging. I don’t hide the nerdiness or feel embarrassed when I post really weird things or when I’m FREAKING OUT about a book or an author and flailing incessantly. I fear that they just won’t get it or think it’s super weird. I also sometimes fear being judged for reading YA when I shouldn’t at all. You all GET the things I love and that being a nerd is awesome. There’s a lot of people that I know in real life that either haven’t known this side of me because we were friends a long time ago or that I just know would automatically find it weird. Why I care I DON’T KNOW. Because it’s me. And the people who know me the best…know that about me.

3. I fear being open about it because there are just people from my past that I don’t want to creeping around here. I always kind of get these bursts of OMG I WANT TO TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT WHAT I DO but then I realize if I do that — I can’t control who gets here. So I may be friends with them on Facebook, and that’s fine to keep in touch, but I don’t really get too personal on Facebook. It’s more shallow for me than this blog or I just give very general life updates. This is probably why I’m the most conscious about who I tell. Some people I just don’t want to know get to see what my every day life is like via this blog or my Twitter that is linked to this blog.

In some ways I feel like I lead a bit of a double life — I mean not REALLY. Not like some Jerry Springer show where the wife finds out that her husband is some sort of internet p0rn star. It’s funny when I identify the reasons why I’ve been so anxious about being open about my blogging with my IRL people, the more I can’t understand some of my reasons — with the exception of #3 and some of #1. Because let’s see:

1. I’m NOT ashamed about blogging or what I read. So why should I be worried about what my friends or family may think?

2. I’m ok with who I am and all the nerdiness that abounds. SO again…why do I care that my friends my see JUST HOWWW nerdy I am? I happen to like the self I’ve become who doesn’t hold back about being unabashedly ME. I’m freaking WEIRD andย  I own it.

I guess my hangups lie in not being willing to give access to a very personal (and important) side of my life to just anyone. In writing this I’ve already decided that I’m going to try to be more open about the fact that I blog about books and that it’s super important to me. Maybe not to EVERYBODY on my Facebook but just more people that maybe I trust or who I’d feel would be interested about it. I don’t necessarily need to GIVE them my url by any means but just being more willing to put it out there and stop feeling so scared to talk about an awesome part of my life. And then go from there!

What I want to know (because I’ve seen MANY bloggers put there stuff out on their personal FB pages): Do you feel like you lead sort of a double life — your real life or your blogger life? Do you tell people about blogging? Who knows that you blog about books? Do you post your blog stuff on your FB or elsewhere? Are you like me where you just don’t tell a lot of people or do you tell everybody you know? What fears do you have in telling?

SO mull it over and tell me how you are about this topic! I’m so very interested!

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About Jamie

Jamie is a 30 year old married lady who is in denial that she's actually that old. When she's not reading you can find her doing Pilates followed by eating ice cream, listening to music with oversized headphones and having adventures with her husband and dog.

Comments

  1. I totally get this. I don’t hide that I am book blogger on my FB. I post links and stuff, however.. I don’t talk about it when I am with family and friends. Unless, they ask which is rare and pretty much consists of my Mom, Grandma and one of My Aunts. A lot of the reasons are the same as yours and I think the main reason why is because they don’t really care or get why it is important to me. Example being my Mother In Law refusing to buy me books as gifts. Although that is ALL I really want.

    Point is I totally get it.

  2. This is such a great post! I totally share your sentiments and, although I haven’t been blogging for nearly as long as you have, I think the only IRL person that knows about my blog is my husband, plus a couple of close girlfriends. Like you said, it’s not that I’m ashamed, but at the same time — I don’t know, it’s not something that I openly share. I have a lot of IRL friends on Goodreads who, I suppose, could put two and two together and follow my link to my blog … but no one has thus far.

    Your story did make me think of something though. A coworker posted a video of me at my own wedding on Youtube, in which I am dancing on a table (because, if you can’t dance on a table at your own wedding, then when can you?) Last week, a guy in my bookclub, who does NOT know my coworker, randomly stumbled across the video on Youtube and sent the link around to the rest of the club. It blew my mind because, although I knew it was online, it made me realize just how easy it can be to find things online. I’m not sharing this in a I-hope-to-freak-you-out-even-more context, but rather a isn’t-it-amazing-that-the-Internet-isn’t-as-massive-as-I-once-thought kind of context!

    • That’s one of those things you learn either from experience or witnessing, and I’m glad your experience was relatively harmless. (I’m sure it was embarrassing, but I’m comparing it to people who lose jobs, friends, or marriages over ill-advised internet sharing.) Anything online is essentially there forever, and essentially public. That goes for emails, chats, even posts hidden behind privacy screens or security settings. I try to ask myself, when I’m posting something or sending an email, if I would shout it through a bullhorn at Times Square. If the answer is no, I refrain. I do forget, sometimes, and one has no control over what others post or share, but it’s been a good rule for me.

  3. I have a link to my blog on my personal Facebook, but I do hope that only certain people access it. I’ve always gotten a lot of stick in the past for reading at school and things, so although I wouldn’t let anything like that stop me from reading, or stop me from enjoying it, I don’t want to appear sad to some people. Even though I tell myself I don’t care what they think… =/

  4. Yep! It’s pretty much the same for me. Most of my coworkers know about my blog, but they’re old ladies so I know they aren’t going to look it up. Plus, they probably think it’s something completely different than what it is (me nerding out over books). My husband’s cousin told me she started following me on Twitter last week and I had a mini panic attack. I never post anything on my personal Facebook for all the reasons you just listed. So yeah, I completely understand and feel the same way.

  5. I’m so glad you wrote this post!! It’s exactly the same for me, I don’t share my blogging life with people I know in real life because I’m not willing to share all of myself with everybody. Like you, I’m absolutely not ashamed of blogging or the books I read, but I just know so many people who don’t read much and I’m afraid they won’t understand. Also, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing my more personal posts if people I see every day were reading them. I think only my boyfriend and my mom know and I think only my boyfriend has the link, but I told him not to visit too often, cause it feels weird.
    It does feel weird to not talk about such a huge aspect of my life with my friend and family, but it would take so much explaining…
    I think I’m more open and myself on my blog than in real life and that kinda sucks sometimes.

  6. I completely understand and share your fears. The only one who knows about my blog is The Boy. I don’t think he reads it often and I think I prefer it that way. I tried telling a close friend once and, even though she reads and we often talk about books, I was too worried she wouldn’t get it. Now, I have been sharing more about my life, it’s not just book reviews anymore, and I recently started making bookish (mostly) vlogs so someone I know IRL might stumble upon my blog. I’m trying to be less freaked out about the possibility of that happening, being a closeted bookworm is quite tiring sometimes. I’m still not actually telling people though…

  7. ABSOLUTELY!! Luckily, not only do I not really share my blog, most of the people I know IRL wouldn’t care to go to it anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s why I sought out the blogosphere in the first place.

    Secondly, I’m kinda sorta pursuing a new career path (which I openly discuss here) that my current career is unaware of. So mums the word!

    There again, luckily, no one cares about ‘one of those blog things’ lol

  8. I totally get what you are saying. I post links and stuff on Facebook but I don’t make it a point to tell people in real life about the blog. Although those who know me know that I really love to read. I am afraid to admit to people in real life just how nerdy I really am.

  9. I do have something of a double life, but it’s the opposite for me. I try not to discuss personal things on my blog. All of my friends and family know about my blog, but none of my readers know much about my day-to-day life, and I prefer it that way. I have a livejournal for that stuff. The blog isn’t to make friends, but to inform and learn. It’s supposed to be neutral ground.

    I had to take a blogging hiatus for personal reasons, and I’m never going to blog about what those reasons are, even if they’re changing everything about the life I know. They’re irrelevant to writing and craft and reading, and one of the things I try to teach is to push aside distractions. I’m not a very good example of that right now, but this isn’t the sort of thing one goes through regularly.

  10. I TOTALLY live a double life. I’m like Hannah Montana!

    ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I don’t tell many. My immediate family knows (how could they not with all the books arrriving every week!), but only select extended family know.I’m not hiding it, it just hasn’t come up in conversation. They don’t visit it though but that’s fine, I prefer it that way. I’ve given my blog link to my best friend to check out but that’s it, no one else. I have a FB account for personal and then one for my blog where I can follow authors/bloggt peeps which is good cause it’s all bookish 24/7 which is AWESOME.

    I totes get why you feel this way. There’s NOTHING to be ashamed of but it’s just something I do for fun. If people know OK, if they don’t then that’s OK too.

    I could probably be more open too but…my reviews are kinda personal. There my thoughts and feeling displayed for people to read and for people you KNOW to stop by is a little scary…

  11. Back in my blogging days I tried to be careful about the personal content I put out there for a multitude of reasons but primarily for my daughters. After quitting blogging I missed Twitter but decided that I would come back online but incognito. Incognito allows me more freedom to say what I want and believe with minimum potential of impact on my family. Because seriously what if my daughters want to run for President some day. They don’t need my old blog or twitter account haunting them.

  12. wow , i totally understand where you are coming from. I am new to the blogging world, and was nervous and excited all at the same time when i shared my blog on facebook. but now i share my entries on my facebook all the time, and i dont really think twice about it, but i will say that the other day we posted our very first video book review and i was SUPER NERVOUS about posting it. i had no idea how FB people would respond. hopefully i got all positive feedback from the video , but i think i will always be nervous in doing review videos!!

    Katie @ Inkk

  13. well, I guess I’m in the minority among your blog followers. I do think it’s a little strange that you’re that upset/panicked/whatever that somebody IRL found your blog. But hey, we’re all weirdos in our own way.

  14. I used to lead a double life. I didn’t tell ANYONE that I blogged, except my mother and my boyfriend. I did that for about 1,5 years.. Now I feel more confident about what I do, I don’t mind telling everybody. Blogging is a part of me, and if people don’t like the fact that I’m addicted to books and that I belong to this community, well, they probably won’t like me.

  15. Yes! Yes, yes, yesyesyes! I absolutely tried to keep my blog private when I first started. I didn’t put my name anywhere on the page, I didn’t tell anyone. I created a separate FB page, etc. Then a few bloggers knew my name and they would put in on their blog, you know like “Pam from Midnyte Reader.” At first I was like NOOOOOO! But I couldn’t really tell my friends to please take my name down…I felt too weird. Then the stuff I posted on my FB page started to come up on my personal FB page. Again I was like NOOOOOO and would delete it. But honestly after a while, I’m like oh well, cat’s out of the bag. I still don’t really tell people unless it comes up though.

  16. I totally agree with everything you said. It’s kind of a strange double life for me bc I know my family has access to my blog, my link is on my twitter page and my goodreads page, but I’ve never come out and said that I blog. I just don’t think they’d understand, especially since most of my books are YA books and I’m definitely not a YA. Maybe I’m not giving them enough credit and they’d be totally supportive. But I really like the separation. Maybe I’ll change it in the future, I don’t know. And I would NEVER share about it on my fb page. I wouldn’t want people from my past creeping around either. Sometimes I feel strange that my family doesn’t know about my blog, something that’s important to me. But I’m just not ready to merge those. I’d rather talk about a book with them in person than have them read about it. Bc you’re right, it’s almost too personal, those thoughts and words. But now I’m rambling. Just wanted to say great post and I completely agree with you and your feelings. Thanks for sharing. ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. I really enjoyed your post Jamie and I can totally relate to you. I used to put some of my stuff on facebook, but then I stopped because I have a lot of people from highschool on my friends list and a part of me didn’t want them to know about my blogging life. I guess I don’t want to be judged on what I read. One of my friends actually came out and said “Wow my opinions on you have changed now” when a friend posted something on facebook about fifty shades of grey and I laughed about it. This comment kind of bugged me and I didn’t even read the book. She just posted a parody like thing about it.

    My parents do know about my blog, along with my brother and one or two close friends, but I’m not really ready to share my blogging life with other people yet.

    Thanks for writing up this wonderful post!

  18. Ginger @ GReads! says:

    A lot of people in my “real life” know that I have a book blog. I don’t shout it to the world, but I don’t hide it either. I’m proud of my blog and I do like to talk about it. I’ve started sharing my book blogging in a few of my Education classes as well, especially Reading/Language Arts instruction courses. I don’t hand out the URL, but I do explain how reading is a passion of mine and what I’ve done with my life because of it. My professors and other classmates are usually intrigued by it and it starts a lot of great conversations about books. When I do write my reviews and other blog posts, I do take into consideration that it is being published on the Internet and anyone can get access to it.

  19. What a wonderful discussion post. I am very much like you, and only recently told my FAMILY that I have a blog. Now, I’ve only been blogging for a little more than six months, so I don’t have tons of followers, or anything. But I am so picky on whom I tell IRL about my blog. And mostly for the same reasons you listed, but mainly because my blog is very personal. It is much easier for me to write up a post about whatever, knowing only a select few people I know IRL will be reading it. Because I am more myself while writing my post, than any other time. Anonymity is definitely freeing (hence the whole mean comment thing on popular videos/blogs, etc.).

  20. So much this! For a long time i didn’t post links to my blog on my facebook or my twitter. Sometimes i might post a link to an individual person or if there was a post i really wanted people to read. But for the most part i was scared that all the IRL people wouldn’t get what i was doing or i would write about something they didn’t know about and they would want to know why i hadn’t said anything or why i had written about it. i think things changed when the Speak Loudly thing happened. i wrote a post and of everything i had ever written it was the thing i most didn’t want people to read but knew it was the most important for them to read. i had such wonderful feedback from it that i started linking my posts and i am constantly surprised to see the comments or emails i get from people i know IRL but never thought would read my blog or relate to what i was saying. It’s scary every single time but it has also made me a stronger person and helped me come out of my shell as well as reestablish relationships that i thought were lost. However, i still don’t go around talking about my blog, i let the links post and that’s about it. Baby steps i guess.

  21. Jamie…YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I was sitting on the bus just yesterday and talking about college applications with one of my best friends and all of a sudden she mentioned that I blog and I was just like, “WAIT! HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?” because while I told her I wrote reviews for books on GoodReads, I have never given her my blog link and for some reason, I started spazzing. BUT, it’s exactly like you said – I’m more ME on my blog than I am anywhere else. Of course I can be myself with my friends, but none of them are bibliophiles. I’m a completely different type of person online sometimes, merely because I am so honest and I’m in a community of people who share my insane, passionate love of books. OF COURSE my parents and immediate family and even very close friends know I blog and that I read a loooot, but does that mean I want them to intrude on this space? No. I like leading – as you called it – a “double life.” I come home, I comment on blogs, I write reviews, I spazz over books. In school, I’m just that studious nerd who’s always on top of her game but online I can be that crazy fangirl I really am inside. I also think it all goes back to being judged and in my case, competition too. I live in a very competitive school district and I doubt anyone runs their own book blog here and I like being unique in that aspect. It’s an irrational fear, but I wouldn’t want a ton of my friends starting book blogs – especially when they don’t even like to read – just to add that onto their college applications. I didn’t start a blog for that reason and it’s not even something I was aware colleges might be interested in until recently, but really, my blog is my own personal bubble of bookish joy and I like it to be that way. I don’t want my other friendships to ruin my online friendships and I don’t want my bookish space to be intruded with non-bookish people who just happen to know me in real life. OH, and they might uncover a bunch of secrets about how I flail around a lot too… Either way, I totally understand where you’re coming from Jamie. I only link my blog to my GoodReads page and I haven’t invited any of my FB Friends to like my Blog Fan Page and I even created a separate e-mail account and twitter just for my blog, and I like that I can interact with other bibliophiles without my other friends interfering. I’m sure that I’ll have to get used to the fact that other people will find my blog or read it and it’s something I’ll have to come to accept, but I can only hope that they’ll respect my bookish space and eventually get bored of it due to their lack of bookish-ness. Either way, awesome, awesome, AWESOME post! ๐Ÿ˜€

  22. I am totally the same way. Not that many people IRL actually know about my whole book blogging thing and it’s not like it’s really something that ever comes up in discussion. Those people tend to know that I spend a lot of my time reading but don’t really know anything more than that. But after now two years of book blogging I’m starting to be a little more forthcoming with the information, and even then I only talk about it with people who won’t really judge me for it and I often won’t expand on the type of books I review. I think one of the reasons I’ve started telling people more is probably because I realized that the first few people I told didn’t judge me and actually thought it was really cool how I could get books before they come out, talk with publishers and authors. But that still doesn’t mean I want all of my 300 Facebook friends to know. I have my personal FB and I have my blog FB page where I post this stuff. And same thing goes for Twitter. I just tend to keep the two aspects of my life quite separate so I totally understand other people who are like that too. And this post makes me happy to see that I’m not the only person who feels this way about not advertising to all my acquaintances that I review books just for the fun of it.

  23. I feel exactly the same. I just don’t want my classmates to gossip around. Were they to really like AND RESPECT what I do, sure, I’d love to give them the URL. But that’s not likely to happen any time soon and we all bloggers know it.

  24. Very few people in my life know I have a blog and of those people only a handful know where to find it. A family member found it through my goodreads page and I kick myself every day for letting that happen. It is such a personal space for me that I d0n’t want to share with everyone IRL. My husband doesn’t even know the URL. I have showed him the blog and he knows all about it and cheers me on but he doesn’t read it. I don’t if it’s my fear of being judged by people I know IRL or just the desire to keep something wholly to myself but I really don’t want everyone I know to know about, or read, my blog.

  25. So true! I live a double life like you wouldn’t believe! About five people know I blog and probably about the same amount know that I’m an Indie author. I just don’t Want to give people from my past the chance to tear me down, you know what I mean? They’ll find out eventually but at the moment I like having the freedom to put myself out there as exactly who I am instead of some watered-version of the person they think I am.

  26. Every single thing you said is me. Of course there are a few RL people I am okay with finding and reading my blog but other than that, I prefer for the others to just… not. Part of my issue is… I don’t want extended family and old friends to find my personal twitter account (even if I lock it up it would be easy to find my name). I often use it to vent or as a sounding board to my online friends. RL people do not need to see that. And sometimes in my reviews I might mention a memory the book evokes or an old feeling and I guess I just don’t want some people to see that either. I am so glad I am not the only one!

  27. Hot topic indeed! First off, major congrats on the post! It takes a lot of guts and courage and other stuff that I at times may be lacking in to pin point what you “fear” let alone share it. Hats off to you my friend! Second…my circle of friend in the blog community and online in general is (sad to say) larger than IRL …much….and so I share a lot with you guys, but mostly on my site alone. I share my post links and general review insights all over the place, but the personal stays on the blog or between myself and really good bloggy friends I’ve made over the years. That being said, I’m not afraid to share my site with those few I do know IRL but I do often find myself wondering if they checked it out, what they thought, etc. Natural I suppose but usually with my online friends, they tell you…there’s not need to ask, it’s an open discussion, a two way street meant to be traveled and all that do are welcomed. So go ahead…be your nerdy self; I’m right there with you. *adjusts glasses* ^_^

  28. I’m OK with my friends seeing my blog. although I don’t think many of them do. However, I do keep my facebook and twitter accounts separate — I’m a book blogger on twitter. I don’t really want my friends to see that — well, I don’t really care, but they wouldn’t either. I use facebook for family and friends and passing pictures around, etc. I’m not a book blogger on twitter. I’m sure I lose a couple of followers who would find my blog through facebook, but that’ s OK. Interesting thoughts, and I get where your are coming from totally…

  29. For me, I don’t really mind so much that people know about my blog. I am who I am (nerd life 4eva!) and if people don’t like it then it’s too bad, so sad for them. My real friends are going to be there and not judge me for what I do or what I like, no matter what. It wasn’t always like this though. I sort of went through this quarter-life crisis a few years back and had to take a long, hard look at my life and why I wasn’t happy. It came down to the fact that I was a total people-pleaser. Look, you can’t make everybody happy and that’s cool, it just took me a long time to get there and be okay with that. I learned that there were a lot of people who weren’t my real friends, who didn’t care about me and I needed to take a step back from them and their negativity. I know it’s hard putting yourself out there but it’s so worth it when you see the support you get in return from strangers, family and friends alike. There are always going to be nay-sayers who get off on negativity and I don’t let them bother me. I just feel sad for them because obvs they have some issues they need to work through, so I don’t let it get personal. That’s my perspective on the whole blogging thing.

    Now if only I could muster the courage to do the same with my writing (i.e.- novels, screenplays, poetry, etc)! It’s much easier to let a total stranger see my personal works than it is for me to show my friends/family. Go figure!

  30. You basically know how I feel about this whole thing already from our conversation last weekend, but I thought I’d share my two cents anyway! I think you worded it perfectly, and that this post is all kinds of awesome.

    I do feel like I lead a double life, in a way. My family, some of my friends and my fiance all know about my book blog, but I think it’s more of an abstract concept in their heads as opposed to something that I actually really and concretely do. My family (especially mom) always asks if I’m compensated to do it; my friends (if they’re really bored) check it out for books that they can read. My fiance is the only one who’s super supportive and totally gets it – because he loves books too!

    I don’t really talk about my blog, unless I feel like someone would benefit from checking it out or it fits into a conversation I’m having. This is not to say that I’m not proud of what I do, or that I don’t enjoy it… Because I totally do! I just don’t like the feeling when people brush it off as nothing important (which has definitely happened before).

    If I feel the post I wrote will appeal to both bookish people and people I know in real life, I do share it via my personal Twitter. But for the most part, I just share my posts with bookish friends, who will totally get my fangirling and squealing and crazy nerdiness.

    Why do I feel weird about sharing? Well, most of my IRL friends are not big readers. They could care less about books, which makes me sad, but was also the reason I started blogging in the first place! Plus, I feel like some of them would totally judge me for acting the way I do on my blog – which is like a crazy book lady.

  31. Super post! I totally lead a double life. While I’ve tried to be MORE open about my blog, I’m still super scared to link posts and such in a public way (like on Facebook). I don’t count Twitter because I only use it for blogging purposes. I have 2 friends who know about my blog, one of which I kind of talk about it to, but even with telling these two it took super courage to tell them about it! But yeah, I feel like I’m the most myself on my blog. I’m able to let things out, to talk about nerdy things, to fangirl over not only YA lit but characters, settings, authors, and book crushes I love! I’ve often asked myself why am I hiding something I’m most passionate about from friends and family? What makes me act like that? Truth is, I have no clue; I wish I knew.

  32. I totally understand what you mean. I mention to my friends and family IRL that I blog, but I haven’t ever made the effort to share my blog with them. My Twitter is updated with links to any new blog posts I’ve made, and a couple of my friends read my blog through them, but I’m really thinking about creating a separate blog-only Twitter, because the thought of my friends reading my blog really freaks me out. I cringe so much when they mention that they’ve read a post, not because I’m embarrassed by my blog, I just find it really hard to talk about it with my friends. I think it’s because they don’t really ‘get’ book-blogging, and I’m pretty sure some of them think it’s a huge waste of my time. I would never dream of posting anything blog related onto my Facebook either. I’m not a huge fan of the site, and the people that I’m ‘friends’ with on there are people I’m definitely not willing to share my blog with. I’m very proud of my blog, but I’d prefer to keep it private from the people I know IRL. This might change with time, though. Who knows?!

  33. It’s taken me a LONG time to even tell some of my closest friends about my blog. Some of them followed me on Twitter and I was all “DAMNIT WHY?” But seriously, this isn’t high school. I shouldn’t be concerned with my worry of “what will people think of me?” I’m a grown ass woman and if I want to read YA and talk about it with online folk who share my interest, then why shouldn’t I do just that?

    Btw, if you’re a “weirdo,” then you’re the coolest weirdo I’ve ever met. And it’s not stupid for feel like you’ve been found out. You’re putting some of your inner most thoughts out there and, even though the internet is a big world, we never expect anyone but complete strangers to read them. Naive, yes, but I think most of us feel that way ๐Ÿ™‚

    I, for one, am glad you put your weirdo thoughts out there <3

  34. Jamie, I love this post–I think so many of us out here in the blogosphere can identify. I’m not at all ashamed of my blog, but at the same time, I feel totally weird when I realize that people in my real life read it. It took me a while to become comfortable with this, but then it occurred to me that it’s kind of awesome that real life friends of mine are checking this out. Like you, I always felt I was MORE myself online. I think a lot of this is because I (and a LOT of us bookish people) am a major introvert. It takes me a long ass time to be comfortable and completely myself with people in real life, but online there was always that buffer of anonymity that made me comfortable just being my nerdy self from the get-go. I’ve met so many of my best friends, including the love of my life, because of being myself on the internet. It’s taken years, but I think we should all just come to terms with it and let our nerd flags fly. I don’t really advertise my blog, but I won’t hide it either. Nor should you! <3

  35. I completely understand the anxiety!! LOL Every time I post, I have to ask myself who’s going to read it… I’ll write and entire post and think “oh god, my husband will get a kick out of my dorkiness…” or “eek, what person from my past will see this entry and start talking.” I don’t put it out to the public that I blog.. I have a few close friends who know – like 3, LOL, and my husband knows I blog but he has no idea what I blog about nor has he seen my blog… My blog is my own little personal piece of privacy… sort of… in the most unprivate place – the internet… Would I freak out if someone came across my blog that knew me? Not really – but then again, I know they’ll also think “holy crap she’s got a geeky side that I never knew about” LOL

    I just have to keep reminding myself that, you know what, I LOVE books and I enjoy blogging… so if that makes me a weirdo, then maybe more people should become weirdos… maybe more kids would enjoy reading today and not be so freaked out about actually sitting down with a real book.

    I don’t have my blog linked to FB but I do have it linked to my Goodreads ๐Ÿ™‚

    I love reading your posts so keep it up! Brush off any negativity that comes your way because there’s a whole world of us that you’ll probably NEVER meet face to face who enjoy what you do! ๐Ÿ™‚

  36. I definitely don’t post anything about my book blog on FB for the very reasons you mentioned. I don’t want random people I know in “real life” to find it. I share occasional personal stuff and I’m just not ok with old high school people and co-workers getting all up in that. I also think they would seriously not understand the book obsession and nerdiness. I think if everyone on FB and other family/friends knew about it I would start feeling self-concious about my writing.

  37. Everything you said is so true. I get nervous when I think about some people finding my blog and reading. At first I am like well what if they think its dorky or dumb (and just don’t understand) but that only lasts for a bit and then I’m thinking well who cares? I like it and that is what matters. I have also realized that the people closest to me totally understand why I do it and they support me. Yes, the on occasion still laugh at me but not in a hurtful way whatsoever. They know I love to talk about books so it is nothing new to them.

  38. I love this post Jamie and I completely agree with everything you’ve said! I do feel like I’m living a double life sometimes. There are really only a few select people that know about my book blogging with April. When I went to BEA, I told people that I was going to a book conference and no one really asked any questions. I guess it’s because I’ve always been the “one with the book in her hand” so it was completely normal that I would be attending a book conference. I’m not ashamed of being part of the blog. In fact, I love it and I love what it has brought into my life! I’m just…quiet about it. I think it comes from the fact that I’ve always been very introverted and unless people come out and ask me about things, I’m not going to say anything. I also think it’s a pride issue because I try to put so much into my part of the blog and into my reviews, I don’t like thinking that someone would think it to be ridiculous, or stupid, or whatnot if they found out about it. I enjoy what I do, and I don’t need someone raining on my parade if they don’t understand it.

  39. I love this post and completely relate to it. I post a lot about my personal life, and while some people in my RL have the address, many do not. I don’t post about it on Facebook, and many people don’t have the twitter handle that it’s linked to. That being said, I am not ashamed of what I write, and I really enjoy blogging. I just don’t feel the need to advertise it to people I know. Maybe I’m afraid of being judged.

  40. I COULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS POST!!!! Oh man, I agree with everything! Not IRL people know about my blog, partly because I don’t think I want my students finding it. I’m always afraid someone will find SOMETHING in a post and hold it against my teacher self, so I try to not swear a lot and I never say anything bad about my school or students. Regardless, I think it would be weird if my students read it. If I wrote book reviews just for my students as my audience, that would be different, but I don’t, so…yeah. I’m rambling now!

    Anyway, I am just trying to say that I completely agree with what you said and even though some family members read my blog, I STILL think it’s weird, even though they say they like it! I just feel like my family members don’t read much YA, so they might think my reviews are weird…I don’t know. I should stop rambling ๐Ÿ™‚

  41. oh geez like everyone else, I LOVE THIS POST! Because I guess I am terrible at keeping secrets, everyone in my family knows I have a blog. It’s weird that apparently my cousins watch my videos and showed my aunt it?! I have to always keep in mind that ANYONE can read it so I have to be not REALLY EMBARRASSING, even though sometimes I forget. My close friends know I have a blog but they don’t really read it since they’re not into YA. IDK, it’s just so weird when people know about it. Even when I talk to blogger people, it just makes me feel weird to admit I have a blog?? Like, I don’t feel like a blogger at ALL and don’t think of myself as one really even though y’know, I am.

  42. Yes! I’m in the exact same boat. I’ve shared my blog with only a couple real life people and I generally tend to not mention it in real life. I don’t share it on my facebook either and I even have a separate twitter for my blog. I don’t know what I’m so scared of, but it’s likely the exact same fears you have! I don’t want just anyone I know talking about it or saying things about me and my blog I guess. I don’t mind strangers reading because they don’t know me personally and can’t really affect my life. It’s quite a strange thing living a blogging double life!

  43. Oh my goodness, Jamie! You just wrote about how I feel – exactly! I don’t talk about my blogs irl except for the two groups of people that know about them (bookish friends, vegan friends) and I know it’s silly because blogs are public but at the same time I try to pretend that they’re not and that they’re hard to find. I am SO glad to know that someone else feels the same way, I’d love to talk about this more! Mands xox

  44. OH THIS IS GOOD.
    I think a lot of people from my real life know I blog, and some of them know exactly what that means as far as reviews and stuff goes – but very, very few seem interested. So I don’t broadcast it. I have posted one or two things on my personal facebook page, but I just don’t see the point in throwing it at them when it is clear that nobody is really all that interested. They have all had the opportunity to follow my blog – those that have wanted to have done so. I get a ton of FB inbox messages about books that they have SEEN on my blog or my blog’s FB page or goodreads – tons – but none want to be associated with the blog part of my life, I guess. Because they won’t comment on my blog or my blog’s facebook page. It’s really weird. So I guess for me, there is a separation too. I’m okay with that.

    I have about four or five IRL friends that read like I do – two that I actually SEE IRL – but none of them really associate with my blog. We actually just talk about books as if there were no social media. I have one blogger friend that is my facebook friend but we do pretty much all of our communication by facebook inbox messaging. So yeah, I guess I live double lives too.

    However, if people choose to follow me on twitter and they are in my real life, they see all of my book stuff. I’ve had some comment on how annoying it is for there to be “so much” book stuff and I’m like HEY MY TWITTER NAME IS @BOOKWORMASHELEY. DEAL WITH IT. IT ISN’T LIKE IT’S A SECRET!

    Weirdly enough, I tend to feel a bit closer to my book-reading friends anyway because I think we’re all more vulnerable together in certain ways – our emotions come out in different, deeper, rawer ways over great books and we can express that ONLY fully to other readers. I’m not sure if I’m making any sense, but I TOTALLY get where you are coming from. I really do.

    I don’t hide my blog from the world, but I don’t wear it like my favorite t-shirt either. If people want to find it, it’s there for them. That is all!

    You’re great, Jamie! I adore you and your nerdtastic self!! <3

  45. I do the same thing with writing. I use to write a lot and I never wanted my friends or family to read it.

  46. I’ve loved writing since I was five, and from the moment I started writing I always hid my work from my family. I felt like I would be judged, or misunderstood. Okay, to be frank, I think it was maybe better that my family wasn’t exposed to my teenage angst-ridden ramblings, but in general hiding something I loved from my family caused quite a rift between me and them, so I started opening up to them a little when my works started being published later in high school.
    I didn’t tell them about my blog until early last year, when I wanted their opinion on a post.
    They don’t stalk me – honestly, they don’t have time for that – but they do check out my blog every once in a while and I’ve become more comfortable with that.
    I’ve also noticed a couple of my colleagues on campus finding my blog, and bumping into me in hospital and mentioning it. It’s only been positive feedback so far, mostly because I am very careful about privacy and such.
    I do find it weird, though, having my personal writer-voice exposed. But I think I’m okay with it.

  47. I am not a blogger, but I don’t share what books I read. For some reason this seems really personal! I don’t have a kindle so it would be hard to hide them ๐Ÿ˜‰

  48. I prefer to keep my blogging life and my real life separate. For the longest time, the only people IRL who know about my blog were my parents. And both were really supportive and read my new posts and eve commented! They’re such good parents.
    And then I started my new job. And the marketing director wanted to interview all of the new employees to distribute to corporate and to the franchise. And I brought up that blogging was one of my hobbies. And the lady was like “OH! Tell me your blog address and I’ll put it in!” And I panicked. Totally stuttered. Blushed really badly. And then I gave it to her even though I really didn’t want to.

    I don’t tell people who my favorite musical artists are and I don’t really reveal my favorite pieces of literature for the same reason. The songs and books hold so much meaning to me, and they’re very personal. And it’s really hard for me to separate someone saying they “can’t stand that book” from “I can’t stand you”. I know it’s silly. Really it is. But, it’s like if someone says they don’t like a book that resonates with me, they dislike a part of who I am. Does that make sense?

  49. I completely understand your anxiety over this! I keep my book blogging life and my personal life very separate. Well that’s not quite true, it’s actually my blogger life and my work life that I try and keep very separate. You see I’m an IT consultant and as such have a very high online profile in my work specialisation. Although I’d be quite happy for a lot of my friends and family to know about my book blog I don’t want clients and colleagues who are reviewing my work case studies online to come across my blog, mainly because I like to keep work and personal very separate. So for that reason I leave my blog quite anonymous.

  50. I have to admit but most people who know me in real life have absolutely NO idea that I blog. My family know nothing about it, and only a few friends have been told about it, and only one or two have the url. I don’t really feel like I’m leaving a double life, just that blogging is a different aspect to my life. I don’t feel like they need to know about it. I’m not ‘ashamed’ and it’s not like there are things on there I don’t want them to see, I just think they don’t need to know.

    Plus, I would have no idea how to bring it up to tell them. And I guess there is the fear of what they will say. After all we value the opinion of our friends and family more than we do complete strangers. And the idea of them randomly bringing up something I blogged about is just weird. Nothing wrong with them not knowing, and if they find out, they find out!

  51. I SO get what you’re saying. My sister gave our cousins the URL of my blog and I almost flipped out. She also has a blog, but I feel so insecure next to her that it makes it even worse. How can I share freely if I know that people I personally know are reading it and KNOW that it’s me who is writing it? Might seem confusing, but I feel extremely self-conscious when I think about it.

    I’m with you on the fears, my dear! Great post ๐Ÿ™‚

  52. Loved this post. Yes, I love my blog and just really put myself out there. Sometimes I wish more of my IRL people, like my husband, would read it. Sometimes I worry about others, friends that are no longer friends, finding it. But in the end, it is a tool for me to share my passion and it requires putting ourselves out there. Go you!

  53. I totally feel like I live a double life, even though a large number of people from my town read my blog. But on my blog, I go by a different name, I’m more open with my readers and I just feel better about myself, ya know? Anyway, I’m glad to have come across your blog! I’m definitely a new follower.

  54. Oh my goodness. I thought I was the only one!! Reading your post and the comments makes me feel so much better. Just the fact that my blog comes up when you google my name makes me freak out if I think about it too much. My family and one close friend are the only people who know about my blog.

  55. I don’t mention my blog to random people either. Even tho my little voice wants to shout it from the roof tops.
    I don’t think mine gets uber personal… But then again who knows. I do mention somethings that are personal. All you have to do is google my name and BAM there’s my blog.

    It’s all good.

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