I saw a life coach I love, Ashley, do a post entitled If We Were Having Coffee and I decided to take her lead and do one myself in November 2013 because I loved it and sometimes I feel like we forget that there is a whole life behind the people that write and read blogs. I got such a great response to my initial post so I made it a reoccurring thing for the past couple of years and do it when I feel so inclined!
So, grab your coffee/beverage of your choice and meet me for a chat. Currently I’m drinking a chocolate peanut butter and banana smoothie.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’m currently reading This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab but I’m not too far into it. I’d ask you what you are currently reading!
If we were having coffee.… I’d tell you that my new baby nephew was born on July 8th — he’s healthy and adorable and Genevieve and Adela just adore him. Seriously, being an aunt is the coolest. I was thinking about how when I was growing up I wasn’t always geographically close to my aunts and uncles so I don’t have a ton of memories with them which is sad (though the ones I have are great) and then I got sad that I’m not really close with any of them now. It definitely made me want to reach out to my aunts and uncles but also it made me really want to continue to make sure I’m a part of the lives of these kids. I’ve always kind of wanted to move away from the Philly area for a new adventure but my heart breaks every time I think about leaving them and not having this relationship with them where they see me AT LEAST once a month. The relationship I have with them is just so special and I just love them so freaking much. I’d ask you if you are an aunt or an uncle or if you have a close relationship with yours.
If we were having coffee.… I’d tell you that one of the biggest things I’m working on in my life is talking less and listening more. I can be a very talky person and I like to think in some way it’s endearing that I am excitable and can keep a conversation going but I don’t want to be the person who takes over every conversation because I am legit excited about things we are talking about and want to also share what I think/feel/my experience. It’s not even like I feel like I need the convo to be centered on me – I just want to add value and be IN the conversation. I feel like I’m having a hard time finding the balance between talking too much and then not really saying much at all and feeling like I’m just a spectator in a conversation with a group of friends. But, alas, I’m trying to work on finding that balance even though it’s really hard.
If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that I’ve begun researching bullet journalling. It’s so interesting to me because back in college I kind of did something VERY similar — except without the using it as a calendar/planner sort of things as well. I had more of the OTHER kinds of collections — to-do lists, tracking things I wanted to make habits, lists of books I wanted to read etc. WHY DID I NOT MAKE IT INTO A SYSTEM AND BECOME RICH BEFORE THIS GUY DID? I already have a planner I literally just bought in June so I’m probably not going to add the calendar/planning stuff until my planner year has ended but I have so many other ideas of what to use it for to keep all my crap together because it’s all scattered from notebook to notebook and onto my Evernote online and Notes on my phone. I can see mine being way more simple/functional than some of the pretty stuff I’ve seen because I’m zero percent artsy or crafty but I enjoy seeing all the pretty all over the internet! I’d ask if you are into bullet journalling and, if you are, share your tips or resources you love!!
If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that one thing I wish people talked about more was like friendship breakups and also the emotional baggage we can get from past friendships. People talk a lot about the baggage one can have from a romantic relationship but maaaan I’m really struggling with letting go of some friendship baggage from over the years as I venture into some really great new friendships with women who are super kind and encouraging and ridiculously fun and intentional and everything I’ve been wanting in friends. That baggage makes me get into my head wayyy too much and is something I really need to work through because I don’t want to self-sabatoge something good because of previously crappy friendship situations and hurt. I think I’m way more scarred from certain friendships than I have EVER been coming out of a romantic relationship. I’d ask you what you think about past friendship baggage.
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I have barely been able to read lately. Maybe it’s the 100 degree temperatures or the sun or being rather busy but it has been really hard to concentrate when I sit down to read lately. So I haven’t been doing very much of that. Which is fine…I’m cool with doing other things but it’s such a weird feeling when I go for stretches without reading because ~being a reader~ has always been such a big part of who I am.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that we chose to skip doing another trip in August because we ran the numbers and it just wasn’t going to be a good idea after our big trip in May. However, I haven’t seen my dad in a while so we are going to drive the 4 hours up there and spend a few days which will be nice plus there is some fun stuff we can do up there. So we won’t be going anywhere new but I’m excited to see my family and also spend time in a familiar place I haven’t explored in a while.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’m still shocked at a situation that happened last week. We found out that Will’s grandma passed away….from reading the paper. Little background: it’s his biological mom’s mom who passed away when he was 4 and he was really close to her. The uncle (his mom’s brother) and aunt have always been a little ~off~ in some ways and have had really complicated relationships with the family off and on over the years but as far as we knew there was nothing up. So imagine our surprise when we find out the grandma had gotten really sick recently and they moved her to where they live and didn’t ever contact Will to tell him. Not to tell him she was sick so he could come see her (which he would have) or that she passed. Sooo many people from his grandma’s church came out to visit apparently but not a single person told Will — one of 3 grandchildren she had and his only real link to his mom since his uncle is apparently not interested. SO we decided to go to the funeral anyways because, as Will said, we were going for his grandma and not them. He was hurt they didn’t contact him and I was confused but I figured all would be fine at the funeral. Until we got there…and a family friend that was with his stepmom (who was very close with his grandma as well over the years) went up first and they were so rude to them I found out later. So I go up after them, oblivious to anything that happened in front of me, and go into hug the aunt who I’ve had plenty of good interactions with and she literally stands there straight and like stares into my soul and just says a cold “thanks” to my “I’m so sorry.” If you know me, you know it takes a lot to make me speechless but I was so shocked standing there with my arms outstretched. They didn’t say one word to Will and after he saw what she did to me he just quietly said “I’m done” and walked right past them. I was in tears and he was visibly shaken up and wanted to leave but we sat for the funeral to honor his grandma and then left. It was honestly one of the most awful things I’ve experienced and, later that day, when Will went to the gym I just called my dad and bawled and bawled because I was so hurt but also just devastated for Will that they would do that to him and he wouldn’t get to say goodbye to his grandma who he loved so much and that they could be so bitter and awful — something that his grandma would have been APPALLED about. Ughhhh. Ugh. I just can’t even. I’m still just seething.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I cannot believe that the year is halfway over. DID WE NOT JUST START THE YEAR 2016??? It makes me all anxious feeling like I wasted time at some points this year and I didn’t do the things I wanted to do yet and GAH. But then I’m like OKAY…let’s reframe…still half a year to kick some major ass. Every day is a blank slate. Blah blah blah. I feel like as a kid I was never really aware of time but now I feel like I am aware of every single grain of salt falling down forever in the bottom of the hourglass. But yet I still waste a lot of it? But then I want it back? Like no no nooooo give me back those hours/days/weeks I swear I will use them better and make more out of them. Will says my brain exhausts him that I think about these things. Me too, dude, me too. It’s exhausting to have my brain.
If we were having coffee…what would you tell me? Come on…lay it all out! It’s just you, me, the pleasant sounds of a cafe…and maybe some other eyes in the comment section but NBD right?? Our we can have coffee in my inbox if you don’t feel comfortable. I really want to know! What’s going on with you?