If We Were Having Coffee (Aka WHERE THE HECK HAVE I BEEN??)

I saw a life coach I love, Ashley, do a post entitled If We Were Having Coffee and I decided to take her lead and do one myself in November 2013 because I loved it and sometimes I feel like we forget that there is a whole life behind the people that write and read blogs. I got such a great response to my initial post so I made it aΒ  reoccurring thing for the past couple of years and do it when I feel so inclined!

 

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So, grab your coffee/beverage of your choice and meet me for a chat. Currently I’m drinking water…because water is good for you.

 

If we were having coffee….I’d immediately cut to the chase and slide over this picture to you to let you know why I’ve been so MIA.

 

 

If we were having coffee.…I’d wait until you asked me if were were getting another dog or having a human and tell you that I’ve been growing a human inside of me. INDEED I HAVE. Will and I are very excited. Finn was bribed to pretend he was excited for the sake of a cute announcement picture. How he really feels about not being an only child anymore:

If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that I found out a week before the election and I’ve been really really sick since about week 5. Nausea 24/7. Major food aversions like you have no idea. I could barely eat anything and I was so hungry always but literally all food made me want to puke. I apparently have a really sensitive gag reflex now so I gag over everything and nothing which often leads to puking ( a couple times, at very low points, on myself because I couldn’t help it). I cried a lot. Slept a lot so I didn’t have to feel like crap. Felt really miserable. It’s all very glamorous. I’m happy to report I’m feeling better these days. Still having some aversions and gagging problems but definitely see a light at the end of the tunnel.

If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you how hard it’s been if I’m super honest. I felt so guilty for feeling so miserable and hating life because I have friends who have struggled to get pregnant and friends who still can’t and I felt like the worst person on earth. I was really struggling with depression because feeling like hell 24/7 is no fun and I missed my friends because all I did was go to work and then go home. I felt isolated. Poor Will has been bending over backwards for me and the poor guy could barely cook because I would gag so then I felt bad because of what an inconvenience I was for him. And then the fallout from the election….it was so hard to be pregnant after having a week of thinking that we would have our first woman president and instead we end up with a human dumpster fire. It was so hard to try and keep calm for the baby’s sake vs let myself feel the very real fear and anxiety the outcome brought me. And the hardest thing was that THIS BLOG has always been my place to sort things out and I couldn’t because 1) it was too early to share the news and 2) I felt so nauseous that I barely opened my computer when things got really bad.

 

If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that I haven’t been reading and clearly not blogging BUT I’m feeling better so I suspect you will be seeing me on here more often. Can’t wait to share some of the things I HAD read before I was so sick.Β  Possibly post some belated best of 2016 posts….are you sick of those yet?? I don’t know what the future holds for the blog but I plan to still do what I’ve been doing for the past 6 years — talking about books, music, tv, life and anything else I feel like.

 

If we were having coffee… I’d ask you how you were doing and what you guys have been up to because I REALLY REALLY REALLY miss you. TELL ME WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING. WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN READING! ALL THE THINGS!!!!

 

If we were having coffee…what would you tell me? Come on…lay it all out! It’s just you, me, the pleasant sounds of a cafe…and maybe some other eyes in the comment section but NBD right?? Our we can have coffee in my inbox if you don’t feel comfortable. I really want to know! What’s going on with you?

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About Jamie

Jamie is a 30 year old married lady who is in denial that she's actually that old. When she's not reading you can find her doing Pilates followed by eating ice cream, listening to music with oversized headphones and having adventures with her husband and dog.

Comments

  1. AHH congratulations Jamie!! So exciting. So glad to hear you are feeling a little bit better – that sounds like quite a miserable few months. Hopefully now you can start to feel excited πŸ™‚ looking forward to following along with this new chapter in your life, whatever you decide to share!

  2. Congratulations!! That is such exciting news! Best wishes to you as your pregnancy progresses.

  3. Eeek I’m still so excited! Totally NEVER sick of “best of 2016” posts. I love wrap-ups like that so much. Welcome back! :):)

  4. I briefly tweeted on Twitter, but then read this and had to say–I FEEL THAT 24/7 NAUSEA. I had it with my first, too, and it was horrible. Literally all I was fit to do for the first three months was stare at the wall in my house because any motion, even watching characters on a TV or me walking around, made me ill. I couldn’t read because the print made me sick. It was awful. BUT the great thing is it passed. And once my son came, I could talk about the nausea with a smile on my face. *hugs* to you! It does get better, and soon you’ll have a cuddlebug to remind you the world can be a beautiful place again. πŸ™‚

  5. Congratulations to you both!! Love the bribe photo vs the real feelings photo of Finn, hahaha! All the nausea sounds like a nightmare to me.. blehh. So glad you’re feeling a bit better now. And I’m so happy to see a blog by you pop up in my feed again <3

  6. Congratulations, Jamie!! My little girl just turned one and I’ve read maybe two books this past year, but it’s been the most magical year of my life. I’m so happy for you! I hope you feel better and are entering into the pregnancy sweet spot that is the second trimester! <3

  7. Congratulations!!! Being pregnant is both amazing, but also such hard work what with emotions going haywire and often just feeling like absolute crap. Such a cute photo announcement and wonderful news! It seems like everyone is having babies – I almost want another… almost. Haha!

  8. Oh my goodness!!! Huge congrats!!!

  9. Congrats again!! So happy for y’all πŸ™‚ Are you going to find out the sex of the baby or keep it a surprise? I totally want to send a gift btw haha.
    Missed you too! Along with these posts (they’re my fave). I’ve been reading A LOT! I read like… 84 books in 2016, which is a lot for me. Just finished my first of the new year (“Maid of Deception” by: Jennifer McGowan)!
    Trying to ignore politic things, because it just makes me hecka stressed.
    Check out Jordan Feliz’s music!! SO good. Especially… “Never Too Far Gone” and “Beloved” πŸ™‚

  10. Welcome back! I’m so glad you’re feeling a little better and hope to see you in the library soon!

  11. Congratulations. I saw your tweet last night and I must admit I did initially think you were adopting another dog haha. I’m sorry the past couple month haven’t been the best but I’m glad you’re feeling better.

    My life has not been as eventful. Most of the time I’m just working and saving up for my next travelling adventure. I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump and I blame Blood for Blood for that cause that book emotionally destroyed me.

    I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly so you can enjoy it. Congratulations. πŸ˜€

  12. Ho’omaka’i to you and your husband! I’m so sorry you’ve gone through that food aversion; I know a few friends who couldn’t stand the smell of certain foods. But yay on getting past that and now you can enjoy the development. Please avoid shellfish; there are no direct studies linking the consumption of shellfish to a baby having eczema but me and others know many whose babies in utero were affected from their mamas eating shellfish. Pamper yourself; it’s your first baby as baby takes over your body.

  13. Congrats again, Miss Mama!!! I was so excited when I saw that picture on IG. Eeek! And don’t feel guilty. Pregnancy is rough and it sounds like you had a really hard go of it at first. I was forunate in not having a ton of morning sickness.

    I’m so happy for you and can’t wait to hear more!

  14. Hi Jamie,

    It’s been a while, so prepare yourself for a long comment.

    CONGRATULATIONS (again) ON THE BABY! That second photo of Finn cracks me up — and it reminds me that you and Will need to remember how wonderful you both were with him when he wasn’t doing so hot, and you two will make a great parental team and loving home for your little one.

    Second, it is perfectly okay to feel anything and everything, including guilty — but do not apologize for feeling like crap and not enjoying the pregnancy. Pregnancy is different for everyone and you’re truly not alone in the “feel like shit 24/7” department. My friend’s sister-in-law was sick her ENTIRE pregnancy, no light at the end of the tunnel at any point whatsoever. Food sounded delicious but smelled gross, she was sore and in pain all the time, she cried a lot for feeling like crap and acting like crap and felt terrible about feeling terrible…it was a mess. But she has a beautiful daughter now! My other friend Amanda gained so much weight by week 7 (SEVEN. WHAT.) that she couldn’t keep her baby a secret after first trimester. She was so large by the end everyone thought she was having twins or triplets. She felt like a whale, but apart from the weight she had a good pregnancy. My mother hated food with me and hated the slightest movement with my brother. Everyone has a different pregnancy story. In the end, there’s a child. But the journey varies, and you shouldn’t feel terrible for not enjoying it right now. Who enjoys feeling like shit? No one. SO IT’S OKAY. And you are loved and supported and this is just a tiny part of what’s going to be an amazing life πŸ™‚

    What have I been up to?! Goodness. I’ll direct you to these posts: Rewind on October through December (https://scribblesandwanderlust.wordpress.com/2017/01/01/flipping-through-the-pages-autumn-rewind-2016/), a coffee update (like this!) from December (https://scribblesandwanderlust.wordpress.com/2016/12/10/if-we-were-having-coffee-2/). All in all, I was supposed to be moving but didn’t, and I’m angry about the election, but I’m trying to make my twitter and blog a politics-free zone for anyone who needs to get away from it for the briefest moment (heck, I need it for my own sanity sometimes). The good news is that I’m excited about the book group I run at the library – they’ve chosen some great books for 2017 – and things are going well agent-wise. It’s just trying to find time to read for fun. Hopefully I’ll be back into some fantasy reading soon!

    Um I could go into more depth, but I’ll just leave it here. WELCOME BACK and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF <3

  15. Congratulations, Jamie! I’m glad you’re starting to feel better. πŸ™‚

  16. I love this post and the idea behind it. I’m going to say it again, CONGRATS!!!! You and Will will be amazing parents! I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better. I couldn’t imagine being as sick as you’ve been. If we were having coffee (water), I’d tell you that you’re amazing and to feel however you want to feel. You’re growing a human.

    As for me I just started going to the gym (Disney in December 2017!) and that I’m going to Winter Jam. Bummed I probably won’t be seeing you there.

  17. I am so excited for you! I know how hard it is to be sick like that when you are pregnant. I threw up so often that I lost 10 lbs in my first trimester and I continued to have morning sickness until my 8th month when I got out on bed rest for 5 weeks. Luckily, my baby came put cute, so at lest there was that because I hated being pregnant with every fiber of being. I truly hope you feel better soon. Lemon and apple jolly ranchers helped with my naseau a little but mostly it just sucked.

    Did I mention how excited I am for you? I have a 7 year old and whole being a mom isn’t fabulous all the time, motherhood is one of the best decisions I ever made.

  18. Congratulations!

  19. Congratulations! I saw your tweet and immediately thought “oh, another dog!” and then realized that no, that was not what you meant. One of my coworkers also just told me that she’s pregnant and has been feeling miserable and is due on July 4th. She was joking that she will name her kid Barack Obama and hope for the best in the future. Honestly, there has been so much bad news I almost wept with joy at hearing something good, and I am not even a person who tends to be excited about babies. (I think I like animals more than people, for which I feel terrible but I can’t change it.) I’m glad you’re back, and I do not get tired of the best of 2016 posts, so bring it on!

  20. I’m so happy for you! Also our children will be born in the same year and how awesome is that? If we were having coffee (I started drinking it again after the first trimester, so if my son ends up all hyper, well that’s probably way) I’d tell you the first trimester is the absolute worst but then the second trimester you get your energy back. The third trimester is okay, but like you get short of breath just walking around. I’d also tell you that you can totally be the pregnant lady at the bar with your friends– I’ve gone to happy hours while pregnant but managed to just drink water and spend time with my friends. I’d also tell you that it’s fine to slow down on reading and blogging. Growing a tiny human inside takes SO MUCH ENERGY. I would also tell you that nasal congestion happens at the end of the second trimester and no one mentions it and it’s the worst. I’d also say that I know exactly what you mean about feeling guilty when you know people who are having trouble. Someone close to Josh and I is trying to get pregnant and I feel bad when I complain about how certain things suck, but whatever. Anyways, I’m just super glad for you and Will and your next big adventure!!

  21. Chelsea Smith says:

    OMG! JAMIE! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I have been feeling your absence and was hoping that you were okay. Glad you are feeling better now. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is no problem at all. I cannot wait to meet your little cutie in July!!!!

  22. If we were having coffee I would say don’t feel guilty! There are plenty of awful human beings that don’t care for their children and they can feel guilty. People who will be amazing parents should not feel guilty! Me and my husband have been trying without luck but I am excited for friends getting pregnant because it means I can snuggle babies :). Maybe I am suppose to be upset but life is too short and work already makes me cranky so I don’t need anything else making me a not nice person to be around. Congrats!!!

  23. Congratulations!! I know it’s clichΓ©, buts it’s worth it. I was hormonal during both my pregnancies and post-partum. So glad you have a supportive husband. Just remember, it not forever and soon you’ll have a beautiful little human to snuggle.

  24. Ohhhh congratulations, Jamie!!! How exciting! (except for the puking part, of course) Here’s hoping you continue to feel better and the rest of your pregnancy is smooth sailing πŸ™‚

  25. Congrats!! πŸ˜€ Good to have you back but I’m sorry it’s been so rough for you. Glad you’re doing a bit better though. πŸ™‚

  26. Jamie, Congrats!!! That is so awesome and the best way to start out the new year!

  27. Oh my, Jamie! This post is so raw and honest and I love you so much for that. I am beyond thrilled for you and Will (and Finn!) and I wish you nothing but the best. You shall have a very well-read offspring for sure. πŸ˜‰

    I know I don’t know you well, but your presence in my little web feed was missed. I don’t follow many people anymore, but you’re one I do (even if I am not a huge commenter on blog posts.) Happy to see you back. Happy for you.

    And Finn’s face in that second photo…ha! I love him. (I hope he’s doing better, too?)

  28. Congratulations πŸ™‚

  29. Oh how exciting! And scary and all those weird emotions:-) All I can say is embrace even the tough parts of pregnancy and motherhood, because it really does fly by. My baby son is going to college next year!!

  30. congratulations Jamie

  31. HUGE congratulations! And … yeah. I enjoyed constant queasiness all day long for months. Strong smells were the worst. Eating often helped, though it seemed counterintuitive. Hopefully you will find what works for you and feel a little better. It’s all so worth it. I’m really happy for you πŸ™‚

  32. Congratulations!! This post idea is so good! If we were having coffee I would confess I have no idea where my life is going right now, and it’s kind of scary.

  33. Hiii congrats!!! Finn’s unhappy pic STILL cracks me up. I’m sorry you have been feeling so poorly, my sister was nauseous all the time too with her first two pregnancies and I remember her telling me about it. πŸ™ Don’t feel bad for feeling terrible bc gosh I can’t even imagine! I’m excited for you and Will! πŸ™‚ I’m glad you will be back on the blog too, and I never get tired of best of posts!

  34. I am so completely excited for you! And don’t feel bad how you feel while pregnant – everyone experiences different pregnancies. I was sick for 90% of my pregnancy and even went to hospital due to dehydration. You’re doing great Momma. Take care of you and the babe.

    Love your announcement.

  35. Congratulations!!!

  36. Congratulations, this is so exciting! I’m so sorry you’ve felt so awful but just think it will all be worth it in the end and that you’re body is doing a lot of hard work growing another human being it’s gonna make you feel super uncomfortable.

    The announcement picture is super cute, bless him

    Mel ★ http://www.meleaglestone.co.uk

  37. Congratulations!!!

  38. Congratulations! That’s so exciting – and I really hope you start to feel better soon!

  39. Wow, that’s so exciting Jamie! Congratulations to you <3 I'm glad to hear your feeling better! All the best to you throughout the rest of your pregnancy πŸ™‚

  40. Congratulations Jamie and Will! I know Fin will be an awesome big brother! Glad he’s feeling better, and happy that you are feeling better, too!

  41. *sips some Joy Teavana tea* Congrats on the baby! I was you last year. I was miserable during my pregnancy, and then miserable for feeling miserable during my pregnancy. I felt guilty for making my husband basically do everything, and then crying about him doing everything. I watched Ali Wong: Baby Cobra on Netflix toward the end of my pregnancy, and it was hilarious! She was about 8 months pregnant during her stand up.

  42. Congrats!! I’m so happy for you guys πŸ˜€ I’m sorry you felt so sick, that sounds terrible. When I’m nauseous I literally feel like I can’t do anything so I’m terrified of how I will be able to work when pregnant (one day!). I don’t think you should feel bad about being feeling so miserable, you had good reason!

  43. Congratulations! It sucks you’ve been feeling so sick from the pregnancy but it’s good you’ve taken the time to rest up while you have the time. It explains your absence. Someone I work with is also pregnant and she’s been struggling like you with a lot of morning sickness, she actually got herself some anti-nausea tablets from her doctor because she was getting dehydrated from throwing up and was having to miss work. You might want to ask about that next time you have to go for a check up to see if you can get anything to help you, especially as it’s getting you so down about it. It’s okay to feel a bit negative about your pregnancy now and again, you are allowed to complain. I would definitely recommend asking your doctor for any help they can give. Also, ginger biscuits are meant to do wonders for morning sickness so try them.

  44. Awwww….. congratulations Jamie!!! I’m sorry to hear that it’s been hard but I do hope you start feeling better. I hope your blog can be that place you need again… you’ve been missed!

  45. Those pictures of Finn are just adorable. Congrats again, Jamie! I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling better. And I hope you aren’t feeling too guilty about things since I’m sure Will and your friends understand and just want you to feel better. πŸ™‚ It’s also good to see a new post on your blog, I’ve missed them! I can’t wait to see what 2017 has in store for you and your blog.

    I think so many of us have been feeling down and out-of-sorts since the election. That was such a gut-wrenching moment. I’ve taken two breaks on the blog since then, and have just tried to take it a day at a time because that’s all I can do. Otherwise the anxiety from thinking about the future is such a weight. I’m definitely glad to have had Twitter as no one else IRL feels the same as me. I hardly read at all in November/December, but now I’m getting back into it, and I reread the first 3 Harry Potter books at the end of December, so I ended 2016 on such a high note there. And I’m still at this great job, so I’m feeling not AS worried as I had been, but it’s still a constant presence in my mind. I wish a good 2017 for everyone. And I wish you guys all the best with the pregnancy and life change!

  46. i have been worried about you! i’m glad you are okay and the reason you’ve been MIA is a good one. i remember the night of the election saying to KC – this is so cool, our kids will be born during the first woman’s presidency, isn’t that amazing? and then we woke up and… human dumpster fire. we don’t have kids yet and we aren’t pregnant and it seriously made me want to not try for like 4 years. but yeah, i can’t imagine going through all that AND being pregnant. you poor thing. virtual hugs. glad you’re feeling a bit better now.
    the second picture of Finn is precious. congrats again!

  47. JAMIE!!! I am so unbelievably happy for you! I’m currently on week 24 of being pregnant (due on April 30) and while my pregnancy has been pretty smooth (aside from nausea in the first trimester) It’s definitely a huge change and a lot of it isn’t glamorous at all. But it’s worth it all! I definitely took a small hiatus from reading and to be perfectly honest, I’m still struggling a bit to get back into a reading routine. But your 2nd trimester should be a lot better than your first!

    I’m in the same position with you as not knowing what it means for my blog, but I’m hoping to continue to do what I’ve been doing for the past 3-4 years but taking small breaks in between and getting things scheduled, rather than writing them and then posting them on that day! haha. I really need to get into the habit of scheduling my posts!

    Anyways, I’m here for you if you need anything or anyone! I know what you’re going through and sometimes it’s really nice to talk to other people who are in the same shoes as you! I love you girl and am so happy for you and Will and Finn! I wish you all the best of luck and try to enjoy it! Your bundle of joy will be worth all the unglamorous things you will encounter on this journey!

    xo
    Stephanie <3

  48. Congratulations! I wish you and your husband all the best πŸ™‚

  49. Congrats! So happy for you guys. My hubby and I just had a baby in April of last year and she is the light of the world. It’s such an incredible experience. It sounds like you’ve been pretty sick, but it’s totally worth it. I promise! I hope you feel better soon.
    It’s a big adjustment and maybe you’ll need/want to take a break from blogging for a while, or maybe it will all be focused on reviews of parenting books (I find myself reading loads of them now) πŸ˜‰ Whatever happens, it’s all a new adventure and you’ll be surprised by how amazing it is!!

  50. Congratulations! I am very happy for you πŸ™‚ I’m so sad to hear that you had to go through such difficult times and I can’t even begin to imagine what that was like to you. I’m glad that you’re feeling better now and that you have such supportive people around you.

  51. If we were having coffee, I’d congratulate you on being pregnant! That’s so exciting! I’m sorry you were so sick and miserable at the beginning, but I’m glad you’re feeling better now! I always feel bad for my friends when they’re pregnant and suffering. I can’t imagine feeling that way. But don’t feel guilty for being miserable and feeling miserable! It’s not easy growing a human inside of you. I’m sure your friend that have had trouble getting pregnant/can’t will still be supportive and understanding.
    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that nothing exciting has been happening in my life. Just work and more work. I had to work Christmas Eve, so my husband I didn’t get to go back home to Texas at all during the holidays. The struggle of being a nurse. It was hard for me to feel bad when people would complain about having to change their plans to see their families or whatever during the holidays since that wasn’t even an option for me. We didn’t know whether we’d be working 8 or 12 hour shifts, and I had no sympathy when people would complain about not knowing because they’d have to leave earlier. I felt terrible for not feeling bad, but I didn’t even have the option to go home and don’t know when I will again.

  52. Hi Jamie, I just discovered this blog through following links from The Broke and the Bookish. I love what you have to share about book blogging, and look forward to reading more. I’m sorry to hear about your morning sickness, which can add a miserable tinge to what’s otherwise a joyful time. I know that well. Even though people suggest all sorts of remedies from acupuncture to sucking ginger, the only thing we can really do is wait it out πŸ™‚

  53. Congrats! I’m sorry that the pregnancy is taking such a toll on you physically and mentally; I remember how hard it was for my mom when I was little and she was pregnant. I hope that things get better for you and the little one! I recently read three novels to start my 2017 and they were all enjoyable reads!

    I read All the Ugly and Wonderful Things by Bryn Greenwood and it was AMAZING; I loved it so much. I also read The Bazaar of Bad Dreams by Stephen King and it’s a short story collection; there were a lot of great stories in this one and I highly recommend it! I also received Animal Farm as a birthday gift and hopped right in to it; I loved it and it definitely felt like it was a classic worth reading, discussing, and recommending to everyone.

  54. I don’t comment here super often, but AHHHH CONGRATULATIONS! I have been wondering where you’ve been, but figured you were either feeling down because of the election (I couldn’t bring myself to write about anything, even stuff that wasn’t related to the election, for several days afterward) or were busy with your job, or something.

    *looks forward to finding out the hopefully literary name of your baby*

  55. I haven’t read any blogs in ages coz I just haven’t had time and I thought I’d see what music recs you’d posted coz you have awesome taste and this is such awesome news that I opened your blog to! Congratulations to you guys!!

  56. A little late to the party, but Congratulations! I can completely relate, as I found out at the beginning of December that I’m also pregnant, so I’ve been right there with you as far as being MIA, feeling terrible, sleeping a ton, being antisocial, etc. Glad to hear you’re feeling better, though!

  57. So many congratulations!! Those first few months are rough. When I finally started feeling better when I was pregnant, I realized I’d been walking around with barf face for months. So not fun. I, for one, would definitely still love to see your favorites of 2016. I always love favorites posts and don’t think there can ever be too many!

  58. Congratulations!
    If we were having coffee I would tell you I was very sick with both of my pregnancies so I can definitely empathize with you. Something that helped me was keeping a spice jar of ginger with me at all times. I would pop the top off and smell it when I was feeling really nauseous. It wouldn’t work 100% of the time, but it usually took the edge off.

    I would tell you that I’m sorry to hear you have been dealing with depression, and I hope it gets better for you. I would tell you that I developed Post-Partum Depression after both of my sons were born. You are obviously in-tune with your emotions because you noticed it while you were sick, so you are at an advantage but not immune.

    If we were having coffee I would tell you that so many people have gone through it and there is a lot of support out there for women struggling with PPD. I would also tell you that I’m sorry for sounding like a Debbie Downer (sorry all you Debbie’s out there). πŸ™‚

    Congrats again!

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