Things I’ve Been Doing While I Haven’t Been Blogging

Oh helloooo there! I am still alive. Trying to get myself motivated to blog again — it’s like I have motivation in my head but the actual physical act of opening my laptop, logging into this thing and typing just somehow doesn’t happen.

So let’s talk about all the things I’ve been doing that clearly aren’t blogging….seems like an easy way to get back into this.

 

1. Having an epic reading slump and then somehow defeating it: Oh man guys. Some rough days I had where I just didn’t want to read. No desire. But then I WANTED to but my brain honestly felt like it couldn’t concentrate. I’ve been told maybe it’s pregnancy brain? IDK. It was terrible. But in the past month I have been a bonafide reading machine. I cannot wait to share with you guys what I’ve been reading because I’ve read some pretty delightful things! Are we friends on Goodreads? You can get a sneak peek of what I’ve been reading before I write about it on here.

2. Having an identity crisis as a blogger: Blogging hasn’t been on my mind much since finding out I was pregnant because for the first trimester I was so so so sick that I just couldn’t do anything but then I just had so much other stuff. But honestly some of it? I don’t know what this blog is anymore after almost 7 years and where it’s going to go. It’s no secret that I write about a lot of other stuff than books and have for a long time but I just feel all sorts of “what is going to become of this blog?” feelings. I’ve moved to a bit of a lifestyle + heavy books feel mostly but I don’t know what the direction will be once I have the baby. In my heart of hearts I don’t want this to be a mom blog (just not a thing I personally want to do) but I do feel like that’s going to be a big part of my life so naturally some posts would reflect that just as anything else in my life. And then the worries of having less time and reading less books? I’m just kind of letting this blog be whatever it is. I feel like most of you have stuck around here for ME and not just all book stuff but who knows?

3. Finding out the sex of our baby: Will and I found out we are having a girl! I totallyyyyy was convinced it was a boy (we didn’t care either way) so I was honestly a little surprised when she said girl! It’s kind of fun because 4/5 girls in my friend group are pregnant right now and WE ALL ARE HAVING GIRLS which is so fun.

 

4. Being immersed in all things baby: Lots of things to do to prepare. I’m halfway through my pregnancy (21 weeks holla & yay for finally having a bump) and there’s lots of decisions to be made. We’ve decided we are going to stay in our apartment for the next year because it’s just not the right time for a house for us. Sooo a baby + us + a dog in a one bedroom apartment is going to be fun. We’ve been working on our registry (holla to Amazon and Target for being easy) and it’s taken me sooo long. WHAT DO WE NEED? WHAT IS THE BEST OF THE THINGS WE NEED? We’ve also been trying to figure out a NAME for this kid which…..Will and I don’t agree on names so that’s very fun. Although at the end of the day I told him I hold the ultimate trump card because I’m carrying this baby and have to birth her. So much baby stuff to figure out.

5. Spending time with my friends: It’s been so nice to have friends who are going through the same thing as me at the same time. It’s been such a help to me to be able to ask questions and commiserate and just talk about the changes. Aside from the baby stuff, I just really enjoy spending time with them and I don’t know what I’d do without their support. My friends are like the least social media connected people I know and I always feel so IN the moment with them? My phone is rarely out which is weird because I am the social media obsessed one out of all of us. But it’s the best to be honest. I feel like I’ve finally found my people after thinking that I was probably done making adult friends. We’ve done some fun things though — celebrated our friend who is due first with a baby shower, tapas with our husbands, dinner dates, our Monday Funday dates where we spend time just talking and talking until I realize it’s so past my bedtime.

 

6. Worrying: I’m a natural worrier but having a tiny human in you that is eventually going to come out? ULTIMATE FODDER FOR WORRY. I’ve been trying to be chill for the baby but I would be lying if I said I didn’t worry. I worry about the baby while she’s in there….it’s so scary to be incubating a human because so much can go wrong. But then comes the worries of when she’s born (the actual birth part scares the HELL out of me so yeah) — what if I suck as a parent? What if something happens to her?  What if financially we aren’t prepared? What am I going to do with my life (ie my career stalled, I’m directionless and now I’m having a baby and have no idea what I will do)? But the thing that keeps me up at night is worrying about if I should get sick or die and then I leave this human here. I’m sure it’s a thing that all parents worry about but maaaaan…losing my mom messed me up in this department because I know what it’s like to be without your mom. It hit me really hard when I recently read what’s been happening in the life of a couple I’ve known since high school. She is around the same amount of weeks I am in pregnancy and they just found out her husband has a pretty serious cancer and I just sob every time I read updates because I just can’t imagine being in her place. I can’t imagine being pregnant and finding out Will was really sick. And then it spirals into me thinking about what if I’m sick? What if something happens to me? It keeps me up a lot.

7. Dealing with my changing body: This has been hard, man. All my life I’ve worked hard to NOT gain weight and now I’m supposed to? So counter-intuitive. It’s so hard when I want to wear a cute dress I love but it doesn’t fit anymore. All the fitness progress I had made is gone even though I TRY to exercise or at least walk. It’s just hard to get used to the way my body is changing. Also the more the belly grows the harder it is to do things.

8. Watching lots of tv: Oh man….tv has saved me when I couldn’t read. I can’t wait to talk about what I’ve been watching.

9. Spending time with Will and Finn: I’m just really enjoying the time left as a family of just me, Will and Finn. We’ve been enjoying some of these weird 70 degree winter days and just have made an effort to go on dates and make plans for the next few months before the baby makes her arrival in July. Will and I have been married since 2012 and I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve had together just as a married couple and all the memories we’ve made. We got Finn a little over a year ago and he fit our little family perfectly. And now things are going to change again. I was always 50/50 on having kids….if he didn’t want to have them I would have been fine but I’m also fine having a baby. I just never felt strongly one way or another. But I feel peace and I am excited to expand our little family.

 

What have you guys been up to while I’ve been away? This week I have a giveaway to bring to you and also a post about some of the things I’ve been reading! It feels good to be ~home~ again. I’ve missed you all!

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About Jamie

Jamie is a 30 year old married lady who is in denial that she's actually that old. When she's not reading you can find her doing Pilates followed by eating ice cream, listening to music with oversized headphones and having adventures with her husband and dog.

Comments

  1. I’ll stay no matter what this blog turns into, to be honest. You’re right, I came for the books (the tarot card giveaway to be exact) but that’s not the only draw anymore.

    • Aww you are the sweetest!! Literally the nicest comment I could have woken up to <3 Also I love that you know when you came to the blog...I always wonder how many people stick around after a giveaway!

  2. I, for one, really enjoy your blog because it’s your voice! So I’m happy to read what you write…whether it’s books or babies or anything in between! My husband and I are talking about trying to get pregnant soon and having lots of well-do-we-need-a-house-first-or-do-we-have-baby-first so I’m glad to hear we’re not the only ones wrestling with that!

    • This makes me so happy…thank you for saying so! I always have known that my reviews and writing aren’t the best or most articulate but I always hope my voice shines through.

      Re: the house and baby debate: I REALLY wanted to be in a house really badly before we had a baby but alas the timeline is all mixed up. But honestly I think we will be fine. I mean, I figure a baby doesn’t really take up that much room in the first year or so so we have time. We’ve managed to get a lot of baby gear that collapses or folds up to take up less room. It’s going to be tight but we will figure it out. I also figure that PLENTY of people live in small apartments in cities with kids and are fine. And also back in the day before people had spacious homes they did it…so we will be okay!

  3. No matter what, you’ll always have a follower in me. Love whatever you post about.
    And if you ever want to talk about all things baby/ask questions…I’m here. 🙂

  4. I’ve definitely stuck around here for YOU! The books I find through you are just a bonus haha.
    Yay for all of you having girls!! Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, anyone? Speaking of your little girl, I have bought clothes for her, woo!! Just now to send them out… at some point haha.
    I can’t wait to find out her name!! Any literary names on the table?
    You’re going to be a great mum!!
    I cannot wait to hear what you’ve been watching!! I’m a HUGE tv fanatic haha. Still think you should check out “Lucifer”! And you might like “Sweet/Vicious”! It only has 10 episodes. But I want to warn you it deals with sexual assault.
    Welcome home! 🙂 And I’ve not been up to much. Treated myself to four new dresses today (Rue 21 was having a BOGO Free sale). Just now to wait for them to arrive, blah haha. And I’m on my 21st book of the year!!
    Do you have WhatsApp?

    • Haha it is so sisterhood of the traveling pants.

      And omg you are so sweet…you didn’t have to do that <3 And a couple are literary but most of my literary ones Will nixed.

      Ooh and exciting! I love buying new clothes...especially dresses!!! I own more dresses than I do anything else.

      And no I don't have whatsapp! I used to a long time ago when I started blogging but no more!

  5. I’ll stick around too- for the books and the baby!
    Did you know I’m a baby expert? Like for real- i teach birth-3 classes at the college level, do professional development for birth-3 programs and I have pediatric developmental therapy practice. If you want to email me, I’d be happy to help you figure out what your family actually needs and doesn’t need (especially because you don’t have a ton of space) it’s actually not that much and definitely stay away from the wipe warmer!
    I was convinced my now 7 year old was a boy and when we found out she was a girl it was so exciting! I’m so happy for you and Will!

    • Yay I’m glad!

      And I had no idea about your baby expertise! Very cool! And oh man DEFINITELY did not put a wipes warmer on our registry. I saw my sister use it for like a month MAYBE and then never touch it again. That is the good thing about my sister having 3 kids before me…I observe all the crap she doesn’t use. lol If I have any q’s I might just take you up on the email!

  6. So cool about your girl squad! =) I completely understand about the worry of something happening to you. My mom passed away when I was fifteen, and I worry so much about leaving my son while he’s still a child. I just try to acknowledge my fear, and then tell myself that all I can do is love him- & let him know he’s loved- while I’m here. I have no idea if I’ll pass young like my mom from cancer (tho I am being very proactive w/testing, believe you me), or get in a car wreck, or some other tragedy happen. I can only live my life in the present as best I can, and let the future resolve itself. And trust me, no one will mind baby updates & pics on your blog!! =)

    • I am SO excited about our little girl squad! It’s going to be so fun!

      I loved your thoughts on the worries of something happening to you. Going to try to adopt your mindset. It really is hard when we’ve already experienced that loss because it’s just THERE in your mind.

  7. Natalie says:

    I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now (years, but I don’t remember how many?) and we are Goodreads friends, but we haven’t interacted much. Even so, I’ve kept coming back because your honesty is refreshing in your more lifestyle type posts and because when you rec a book, it’s almost guaranteed that I’ll also enjoy it. So win win. I’ll keep reading whatever content you want to share.

    As for the baby stuff and the reading slump you went through, I completely understand. I had my daughter last September, and I went through a huge reading slump where I just could not focus on much of anything outside of my baby and getting ready for her, and then learning her once she got here. It stressed me out for a while, but then I finally decided to let it go and just embrace the changes. That helped so much, and as she’s gotten a little bigger I’ve been reading more and more, and just feeling more like my old self in general. So give yourself grace, I guess is what I’m saying. I think that should be the number one rule of life, let alone parenting.

    • Aw that makes me so happy! Thank you for continuing to read the blog all these years…it really does mean a lot to me! And I hope we will interact more! 🙂 I’m so glad we can connect over the lifestyle type posts AND book posts. I’m hoping you’ll be ready for some book recs I plan to post on the blog soooon 🙂

      I think you are so right…I need to give myself grace with juggling all the changes and then hopefully I will settle back into some sort of “normal” in a way.

  8. Regarding your identity crisis as a blogger — talk to Hannah @ So Obsessed With! Her blog was quiet for the first few months after her baby’s birth, and then she’s slowly started it back up again. It’s mostly just reviews now, fewer features and such, but she does a great job of keeping personal/baby-life separate and providing insight as a reader and young mother when she reviews books. I think it was a more deliberate decision to keep things compartmentalized, and to read when she can and review the book when she can, no schedule or guilt or any of that.

    Your friend group is going to have a blast with play dates! And I’m so glad they’re the kind of group that’s not as “social media obsessed.” Some of my closest friends aren’t into social media as much, or they just keep their instagram updated (and that’s it), and it’s refreshing because it forces you to put down your phone and be present and in the moment. It’s so liberating!

    Looking forward to hearing what you’ve been watching!

    As far as the worrying goes, that’s perfectly normal. Definitely talk to your sister about this too. She probably gets it 110%.

    <3

    • Yeah that’s definitely kind of my plan….keep it mostly separate. I imagine, for myself, that some baby type updates will be in my If We Were Having Coffee posts and maybe the warranted longer post every now and again. We shall see. I feel like I was already shifting directions BEFORE but now I’m like AHHHH WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. Just going to take it one day at a time and write whatever feels most comfortable.

      I’m so excited to be on this journey with them! And they really are the best….I almost feel self conscious if I’m like trying to instagram our night or anything like that (not that they’d say anything) but they most definitely aren’t doing that. It’s also realllyyyyyy nice to be hanging out with people who don’t even look at their phone because I feel like some of my friends have the tendency to be on their phone while we are talking or hanging out and it’s annoying. Even though I’m more social media obsessed that’s just one thing I would NEVER do…because it feels rude. Like hey…we are hanging out but I’m going to scroll through instagram and facebook while we are talking. It’s funny because I had to EXPLAIN Twitter to them and Snapchat. Only ONE of them has Instagram. They really just use FB and even one of them doesn’t have that. I think I’m so used to be in the social media space with this blog that it took me aback a little bit when I started hanging out with them. But I love it.

  9. I definitely hear you with blogger identity crisis. The same thing happened to me. I was so sick in my first trimester that I couldn’t read. My whole blog was centered around reading and reviewing books. I didn’t want to stop blogging because I couldn’t open a book without getting sick. I love to write, so I changed the focus of my blog. It’s now a lifestyle/mommy blog where I will still incorporate my love for books and writing reviews. The reviews will be more diverse as well – not only books but baby products and TV shows/movies. There was absolutely some guilt involved in switching gears but ultimately I did it and I love all the different writing I get to do now.

    I’m sorry to hear about all those worries! I’m currently 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant – VERY close to the end. Since second trimester, I’ve been worried about the birth and how I would handle the pain, if I could do it, etc. I can tell you, at this stage in my pregnancy, I am so over being pregnant, that I’m not even worried about delivery anymore. I’m hoping for it. So I hope that one goes away for you too. Just remember, your body was made to do this. You’re going to be awesome!

    Good luck to you, Jamie! I can’t wait to see where you take this blog and I know you’re going to be an amazing mother! XO.

    • Ugh stupid terrible first trimesters. I was the only one of my friends who was as sick as I was. I was convinced it was never going to leave me. THANK GOODNESS IT DID AND SECOND TRIMESTER IS SO MUCH BETTER.

      I’m glad you found a way to change directions with your blog in a way that makes you really enjoy it and want to be doing it! I’m hoping I figure that out! Whether or not it’s before or after. I guess I will naturally gravitate towards what I ultimately want to write about it and just go with it.

      Eeee you are SO CLOSE omg. I keep trying to tell myself that SO MANY WOMEN do this and do it MULTIPLE TIMES so I should be okay?? I will be looking for updates to see when your little is here!!!!

  10. Ho’omaka’i on finding out your baby’s gender. I have two girls and oh boy are you going to have fun with baby girl things. The selection is huge. Besides the standard car seat, crib, and stroller a baby carrier is a must. Do be prepared for the possibility that she may scream her head off unless her mama carries her; that’s what my youngest did for the first 11 months of her life. A friend bought me this portable high chair seat that folds up and can be attached to chairs in someone’s house or used at a restaurant. One of the best gifts ever! My two used it and then my brother’s daughter used it. His son is using it now and baby number three will once he can sit up. And if you’re a multitasker, you may have to let go more as you’ll be tired. If anything, if you can get help with laundry and cooking, then you and your husband can conentrate on your daughter. Breastfeeding will hurt the first week; tough it out and you’ll be fine but be armed with the ointment or whatever as it’s helpful.

    • I’m definitely going to be in trouble with buying all the cute baby girl stuff!! We registered for an ErgoBaby bc when the little one I nannied was small I was obsessed with her baby carrier! LIFE CHANGING! And oh! We were looking at that same type of high chair seat. We registered for one that folds up nicely but I was thinking the portable one would be awesome to have when we travel or baby goes to my sister’s or MIL’s.

      VERY nervous about breastfeeding…esp since I’m such a baby about pain so I could see myself wanting to quit BUT I’m really going to try and I’ve been reading about all sorts of ointment that is good. I plan to have an arsenal of it to help myseflf.

  11. I love your blog and no matter what you blog about, I’ll read it! I started blogging 5 years ago (when I was 13) and your blog was one of the first I started following and reading and I’ve always looked up to you as a blogger! 🙂

    That’s so, SO exciting that you’re having a girl! Congrats!

    • Ah thank you, Kyra <3 I always love and appreciate catching up with you in the comments! Appreciate your support all these years!

  12. That’s the beauty of a blog. It grows as you grow. And I’m here because I like your “voice” – even if what is it saying starts to change and evolve. I certainly hope it does after 7 years! Congratulations on your expanding family. 🙂

    • So true! I feel like mine has definitely evolved and changed over 7 years even WITHOUT a huge life change like this. Will be interesting to see where it goes!

  13. Pregnancy brain is the WORST. I found it really hard to concentrate on anything last year during my pregnancy. One suggestion – see if your hospital offers a labor & delivery class. I took a labor class at my local hospital. I got to meet the nurses at the hospital, see the delivery rooms, and learn more about the delivery process. It really helped knowing the steps involved. As for your blog, you do you. I suspect if you write it, people will read it. 🙂

    Congrats again on your pregnancy!

    • RIGHT? THE WORST. I feel so scatterbrained and all over the place!! It was getting really frustrating because I DID want to read but my brain was like NOPE you will just read the same sentence over and over again.

      Ooh and yes I’m planning on signing us up for those classes at the hospital once we get a little closer!

      And thank you <3

  14. As you can see from the comments coming in on this post, I do not think you have to worry about what your blog is becoming and whether or not you will retain followers! New subjects and new direction are good – even if you end up losing a few readers you’re going to gain new followers who are interested in that new direction. My sister just recently had a baby, so I can somewhat sympathize with a lot of what you are saying from watching her go through this. I would just say to keep your head up, and even though you’ll have rough patches, it will all even itself out and work out in the end 🙂 Congratulations on your baby girl!

    • Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, Kayla! Ultimately I know that probably any changes I’ve made throughout the 7 years I’ve been blogging have probably lost me followers but gained me new ones so I need to try to be more zen about it and just embrace it. We shall see what direction I end up going in! Very possibly it stays mostly books + lifestyle posts…just with a little more baby stuff mixed here and there.

      Thank you and congrats to YOU for becoming an aunt!!!

  15. Your gender announcement was the CUTEST thing!

  16. We had a baby in a one-bedroom apartment! It’s totally doable. We were there until she turned 16 months old. Honestly, we wanted her in our room those first few months anyway and then transitioned her into a crib (from co-sleeper) around 5 months. We were VERY ready when we moved to a two-bedroom. We’re actually expecting number two in August and we’ll be staying in our 2-bedroom. Baby will share with us at first and eventually will room with big sister. Not sure when that will happen but probably 5-6 months.

    As for things to register for… my most used items that I recommend are rock n play, burpy bibs, a sound machine, a VIDEO monitor (trust me, video is a must even in a one-bedroom).

  17. Your blog is one of the few that I make it a point to visit on a regular basis. I enjoy reading your posts because of how you write them, regardless of the subject matter 🙂 Good luck working everything out in the months ahead! I’m sure you’ll do just what your family needs.

  18. This warmed my heart so much. I will always read what you write, regardless of what you write about.

    Also, women absolutely get the veto vote for names. If this was not a universal truth, Marko would have been named Jedi or Spock. HONEST TRUTH. And my husband legitimately didn’t see the problem with either of his name suggestions.

  19. Congratulations on your baby girl! As I was reading what you were saying about where you might want to take your blog it made me think of another blog I read, http://www.thegirlwholovedtowrite.com/. She finds a way to talk about being a new mom, books, and other life stuff in a seamless and compelling way, as I have no doubt you could as well.

    • I’m of to read this blog too. I’m struggling with bringing my two worlds together: books and baby. So this is all industries of awesome. I love when another reply on a post I’ve commented on brings me to new blogs. Cheers!

  20. I feel you so much on a lot of this. I wasn’t even sure I’d do the pregnancy thing, then had a hard time adjusting. My reading has been way down for most of my pregnancy because I either felt horrible, or finally felt good enough to get out and do other things! I am two weeks away from my due date, so I’ve basically taken up residence on our couch. I’m finally getting some reading in though! I’m trying very hard not to think about labor & delivery at this point. I have a basic birth plan, and anything else is just me worrying (more). We can both do this!

  21. First, let go of the worry. Enjoy this pregnancy. You can’t change things so why worry about things that haven’t happened? I’m a worrier by nature too, but have chilled a bit after having our little girl. I’m trying to enjoy every minute I can.

    Second, audiobooks were my best friend when my brain couldn’t handle reading during pregnancy. And I hardly wrote on my blog because – TIRED! But I am finally trying to get back on track 8 months after baby arrived. My posts are still sporadic, but I’m posting when I can. So people will understand if you don’t blog for awhile, need to find your voice again or re-evaluate things.

    Last, I love your baby bump pic with your friends. So cute! You’re going to be a great Momma. You’ll give your daughter everything she needs just by loving her and doing your best. Each day your best can be different. As long as she’s fed, clothed and loved that’s all that matters. And names are hard to figure out. We had a boy name for so long because I was sure it was a boy, so when we found out we were having a girl we decided Spencer could work for either and took Claire off the table. So we have Spencer Grace. And I love it. You’ll find something that works for you both… make some lists and play with combos of first and middle names to see if they work. Sometimes a name you don’t love at first becomes the frontrunner once you add the middle name. 😉

    Cheers! Looking forward to more of your posts and when your little girl arrives.

  22. Baby registries seem so overwhelming!!! I’m glad I’ll have people to ask for advice when the time comes eventually. But it also seems like it would be a lot of fun 🙂 I’m so excited for you having a little girl!!! So sweet! Finn will be such a good big brother hehe. And I will read your blog no matter what you write about because I love it and I think you’re wonderful. That’s SO nice that you’ve found a really good group of girlfriends to share this experience with too! I’ve been reading more this month, which is awesome. Keeping a pretty steady pace this year; I also binged all 6 seasons of New Girl in January and got a new job closer to home after getting laid off in early December. And started my own blog, eep! Chris and I have been finding more friends/couples to hang out with too which is really nice bc all of my friends live kind of far away. It’s nice to have people to go to the movies with and out to dinner/watch sports! So 2017 has been pretty good to me personally so far 🙂 Working on the baby thing but trying not to stress about it haha 😉

    • SO OVERWHELMING. And definitely ask when that time comes!! I asked people what they find they didn’t use and looked on lists online of “must haves/wish I would haven’t gotten” variety, etc. Also just thought about what would make sense for US at the end of the day. We don’t have a lot of room so some of these non-necessities, while nice, aren’t going to have a place here. Honestly I used Hannah from So Obsessed With’s lists she made and they were great! I didn’t get everything she did but it helped give me a starting point!

      I’m so excited for you to have your blog! It makes me so happy! Finn’s a little jealous that he’s not incorporated into my blog name. I’m so glad you guys have been finding more couples to hang out with! I love my girl time and I love my time to just go with Will but sometimes I just don’t want to do another dinner just us two and want to have others to go with us bc sometimes it’s just even MORE fun. I’m glad Will gets along with my new girlfriends’ husbands bc now we have lots of double dating options.

      And yeah…def don’t stress the baby thing! I went off my birth control in June and then we didn’t like start REALLY trying (like figuring out my good ovulation days and making sure we were having sex like every day during that time frame lol) until August/September and we did NOT stress about it and then boom I found out I was pregnant first week in November. I DID NOT EXPECT IT THAT QUICKLY bc I know it can take like a year. I was kinda like WAIT BUT I WASN’T REALLY READY FOR IT TO HAPPEN THIS SOON. I THOUGHT WE STILL HAD MONTHS OF TRYING haha. Fingers crossed for you guys!!

  23. You have been missed by me too. Congratulations on learning you’re having a girl and that you have friends to help you through it all, despite the fears. As for blogging, I can relate to those concerns, not knowing what to do with the blog, how to continue it. I struggle too, but just keep plugging away, sometimes, often, with little or no direction. At least, we’re still blogging, I guess.