I’ve Been In A Mood Part 3

I’ve been in a mood when it comes to reading in 2015. I’ve been having 3 very distinct and reoccurring feelings about reading thus far. This post was originally kind of a mess when I started it a couple weeks ago — a bunch of random thoughts all pasted haphazardly together with cement glue like 1st grade Jamie would have done (she also really like to let it get stuck to her fingers so she could peel it off). I didn’t think it was ever going to see the light of day. Thought maybe it was just something I needed to get out for myself. However, after I was chatting with some lovely ladies on Twitter about it, I decided to take a look at it again and every thought kind of started to fall under these 3 distinct feelings.   I’m going to talk about one over the course of the next 3 weeks to split it up because it would be massive (it’s already going to be too long because I’m overly verbose).

 

So we’ve come to the last part of my 3 part explanation of the state of my reading life this year. The other two things I shared (here and here) were definitely a reflection of habits created through blogging but this one doesn’t really seem to be related to the two. At least I don’t think it is.

This final persistent mood I’ve been feeling?

 

It’s the feeling of wanting to reread everything I’ve ever loved.

 

I’ve talked about in the past how I like re-reading in theory and how I used to re-read all the time before I started blogging. Time, my never-ending TBR list and the desire to experience new stories seem to be what has held me back from making re-reading a priority for me (plus that fear of things not holding up) but this year all I’ve DONE is crave re-reading.

Normally I crave new experiences, new characters, new words to fall in love with. I mean, there’s so much out there that could be a new favorite. I WANT TO DISCOVER IT.

But lately I just want to cozy up with old friends. I just finished a reread via audio of If I Stay by Gayle Forman (one of my favorite books) and am on the hold list for Where She Went. It’s been years since I’ve read these books in their entirety and it just felt so good to be back with Mia and Adam. You notice things that you never did before. You have a new appreciation for them when you revisit them sometimes.

All I can think about lately is how much I want to binge re-read the Throne of Glass series. I MEAN WHO AM I? I’m the girl who spends the first quarter of the next book in a series confused because I can’t remember crap and I refuse to devote time to reread. I just NEED to experience these books again. I mean, there is intense LONGING to be in them. Like physical LONGING. (The only reason I haven’t started rereading them is because I’m trying to hold off a little longer until we are closer to Queen of Shadows release).

I want to reread old childhood books I loved. I want to reread books I read as a teen. I want to read books I read at the beginning of my blogging journey. Things I read not so long ago but just love so much. I want to reread books that I think perspective and age may change my reading of it. I want to reread books that changed me.  (I did make a list of books I want to re-read not too long ago if you want a glimpse).

I don’t know why I have this intense desire to reread ALL THE THINGS. I haven’t particularly been going through hard time (I always want something familiar when life is crazy and hard). I mean, things feel kind of unsettled for me in some ways. Maybe that could be part of it? Maybe I’m so burnt out on all the NEW NEW NEW and my brain/heart don’t quite have the capacity for all that new right now? Maybe I just am feeling nostalgic? Especially since I’m going to be 30 this year and I’m having a semi-crisis over it even though I know there is no reason to.

Or maybe there isn’t overarching philosophical or BIG REASON as to why. Maybe it’s just the reading experience. Maybe we are meant to experience books we love more than once.

One of my FAVORITE books from this year, Emery Lord’s The Start Of Me & You, has some great quotes and thoughts about rereading:

“The point is that we already know it doesn’t work out, but we reread them anyways, because the good stuff that comes before the ending is worth it…Also, in books sometimes the foreshadowing is so obvious that you know what’s going to happen. But knowing what happens isn’t the same as knowing HOW it happens. Getting there is the best part.”

 

“I used to think rewatching and rereading were embarrassingly boring pastimes. But there is something to be said for how comforting it is to already know what happens. There is no such luxury in real life.”

 

 

Do you ever get in these “OMG I JUST WANT TO REREAD” moods? Are you a re-reader in general — why or why not? What drives you to reread? What sorts of books do you reread?

 

PS. I also love this post that Hannah wrote about her reading year so far wherein she’s had some persistent feelings as well that seem to be driving her reading!

Fear Not!

Back in 2012 I talked about one of my biggest bookish fears (I have lots of them — here, here and here) and I wanted to revisit the topic. I said that one of the things I fear is lending someone a book that is an all time favorite or when someone tells me that they are reading a favorite book of mine because of how much I rave about. BECAUSE ALL THE PRESSURE (what if they hate it? What if they think your taste sucks?). Now, at that point, I had only been into about 2 years of book pushing — erm I mean blogging — and now here we are at ~5 years of doing a whole hell of a lot of recommending and lending and being LOUD about books I love.

I still DO have this fear that they will totally hate the book I love so much and am sharing with them and never ever trust my recs again. But ya know what? The sweet, sweet victory of getting a friend totally into the books you love is FAR more worth the initial jitters/panic that they might not like it. And also I feel like at this point I have so many “wins” under my belt at this point and statistically speaking (I don’t really do maths that well so my statistics have no basis) I’m not going to able to have a winning streak for forever (I mean, that’s what I’ve learned from all the sports Will watches)?

I am also finding that I am FAR more triumphant when I get my IRL friends/family into the books I love. I mean, I always feel happy when I give a good rec to a blog reader or anyone else in this community. BUT there is something about giving those recommendations to the people in my life who don’t read as much as we all do and who don’t have anyone else giving them recommendations. I feel like this glorious matchmaker!!!

Can I share two of my biggest personal victories recently??? I want you to share yours in the comments, too! Let’s rejoice together!

* My little sister Paige: Paige is 20 and she’s pretty good about listening to my recommendations over the years. She’s in college right now so doesn’t have as much time to read but recently she LOVED some of my faves: The Sky Is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson, the Jessica Darling series,  and Since You’ve Been Gone by Morgan Matson. (Sorry, had to edit it out some ~confidential things haha)

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* My friend Kelsey: My friend Kelsey and I have a standing date every Wednesday (mostly) during Survivor season where we hang out and drink wine while we watch. She reads occasionally and is a self-proclaimed slow reader. BUT LET ME TELL YOU SHE HAS BEEN DEVOURING BOOKS THAT I GIVE HER LATELY.

If I Stay/Where She Went by Gayle Forman: We all know how I love Gayle’s books (if you don’t…where have you been??). She read these SO FAST and was obsessed. She passed them on to her mom and then to her sister-in-law and THEY were both in love.

The Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi: I was SO happy she loved this one because I wasn’t sure how she’d do with dystopian. She liked The Hunger Games but that was all she read so it was hard to gauge WHAT she liked in the genre.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas: THIS IS MY BIGGEST VICTORY. She has never read a fantasy novel in her life and was A LITTLE nervous. I was like, “look if you don’t like it…I will pick you out a new book from my collection when you come over next week.” BUT ALAS…the texts speak for themselves and the fact that she book talked it to another friend of hers!!! (Edited out A LOT of non-book talk in between haha).

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I LOVE GIVING BOOKS TO MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. AND TO ALL OF YOU. It’s those little things in life, like giving a book to someone who ends up loving it, that put a smile on my face. The little victories, man!!

So, tell me some of your victories!! Also, do you get nervous to rec books you love to people for fear they will hate it/not trust you?? Do you recommend books to a lot of people outside of this community!

 

Reformed Book Buyer….Apparently

Last year I talked pretty openly about how unemployed has changed me as a reader. One of the big things was the way I bought books. Before this, I would buy books ALL THE TIME — books I’ve never heard of, books I’ve already read but don’t own, books that were recommended, etc. I was just pretty much buying books at an alarming rate and pretty impulsively. Anything that sounded remotely interesting.

I’m not unemployed now (yay NANNYING) but I’ve found that some of this super frugal book buying habits have stuck. And it feels weird? I mean, we aren’t in a particularly GREAT financial situation that would warrant me to buy a lot of books anyways but I would still think some of my former book buying ways would return.

I recently got a gift card for Christmas to Barnes and Noble. I was SOOOO excited to get it. I was like, “omg BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS I can’t wait to buy books.” And then I pulled up the Barnes & Noble website….and I bought nothing. Before? I would have added books to my cart for my gift card amount in 2.5 seconds and bing bang boom…no second thoughts. That order would have been placed. But suddenly I find myself in my mindset of “do I need it?” that I’ve been so programmed to be in when I was unemployed.

My inner monologue goes like this:
Oooh I really want this book. I’ve heard good things. HMMM but I could get it at the library. And (because I am ruthless about culling books after I read them) am I almost CERTAIN that it would be a favorite and I’d want to keep it because MAN I’d hate to buy it if I won’t keep it. I could buy a book that I already loved. AHH BUT I REALLY WANT SOMETHING NEW. But ALL THE BOOKS I ALREADY OWN AND HAVEN’T READ. I don’t knowwww. I CANNOT MAKE THIS DECISION RIGHT NOW.

It is the worst being inside my head. The WORST. It used to be soooo so easy to be a compulsive book buyer.

I’ve just become a more calculated book buyer, I guess. Pickier about what I buy. Discriminate. And sometimes I feel bad about it because I want to support ALL THE AUTHORS but I’ve realized that minimalism and not spending excessively is important to me. And I realize that I support authors and the industry, even if I’m not buying AS much as I used to, in so many other ways — getting books in hands of readers, reviewing here, reviewing on Amazon and other retail sites.

Here’s basically what I find myself buying:

– books from authors I know I like
– books I’ve read as an ARC or library books and consider favorites
– gifts: Sometimes I buy books I really LIKED as ARCs or library books but don’t necessarily want to own (I only own absolute favorites) and I give them to others.
– books for signings — I only do it if it’s a book/author I REALLY love. Previously I would buy pretty much any author that came through. I still GO to the events to support but I might not always buy if I’m unsure.
– books I am REALLY excited about, seem like a guarantee for me to love it and others I trust have said THIS WILL BE A YOU BOOK. (But this isn’t often…all the above things take priority)

Basically gone are the days of just buying books on a whim. I’ve become a little bit of a reformed book buyer as my situation has changed.

The only question is if, once I get a better job and more monies, if I’ll go back to my compulsive book buying habits. Only time will tell, bookworms.

What are your book buying habits like? Are you a compulsive book buyer or are you more calculated?

Oh The Pressure!

If you have any book loving friends, I’m sure you’ve passed books amongst yourselves and borrowed books from friends. After all, sharing is caring — especially amongst book friends. It’s so lovely — the generous nature of bookish people to want to lend out books (or maybe it’s just the compulsion we have to push books on people??). And while I am always down for borrowing a book from a friend sometimes I feel like there is so much pressure (mostly internal haha).

(Note: this is not a complaint about borrowing books from people or anything ungrateful or rude about their lending tendencies. I love borrowing books from friends but this is what goes through my mind. I happily borrow books all the time!)

So what kind of pressure do I feel?

1. Pressure to not eff them up. Maybe this is not something you feel as heavily, because I know most of you aren’t book manhandlers like I am, but this is a HUGE one for me! I’m pretty open about how I like dogearring and I’m okay with my books getting “loved” but I would NEVER EVER treat my friends books the way I treat MINE. But that means, for me, constant vigilance and awareness while I am reading. It’s like “OH SELF. Don’t eat that powdered donut while reading this book.” “SELF! Grab a bookmark!” “OH OH YOU IDIOT..DON’T SHOVE THAT BOOK IN YOUR PURSE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.” “DON’T CRACK THE SPINE OPEN THAT FAR.” It’s a lot of pressure because I have to pay attention to things I don’t normally pay attention to with my own books (seriously I must have not developed these reader quirks)! I would feel awful if I ruined a book of somebody’s — or not RUINED but even sent it back in less than pristine condition.

2. Pressure to get them read in a timely manner: I’ve told you all about what it’s like to be a mood reader and how it affects me but this is SO PART OF THIS. I will be so excited to borrow a book from a friend but my mood reading takes over and it might take me forever to decide I’m ready to read the book. I sit there and feel so much guilt when I see the book on my shelf and I’m like I SHOULD just read it right now but alas my mood reader tendencies dictate a lot. I’ve borrowed SO many books that I have taken an embarrassingly long time to read and I feel awful always. Luckily my friends are forgiving!

3. Pressure to LIKE them: Most of the time I’m borrowing a book that someone else loved and they think I should read so there is a huge pressure to like it though I know that my friends are okay if I don’t. But I want to like it! I do! When I borrow books I KNOW I’m going to be reporting back to the person when I finish it because if not that would be kind of awkward haha. I just get so nervous that I’m going to NOT like it and I’ll have to report back all WOMP WOMP I didn’t like it.

On the reverse side? When I lend out books, I’m totally that person who feels all nervous about if the person will like the books I’m lending them! I’m not too worried about minor “damages” when I lend out books because I just don’t care. I mean, pages ripped out or writing in my book would not fly but I’m not too worried about little things. But that’s just a personal preference (plus I love used, loved books). I think most of the time I don’t care too much about how long someone takes to read a book unless a) I want to re-read it and I don’t have it or b) if I’ll never get it back. RIP LOST BOOKS.

What about you?? Do you share my weird “anxieties” when it comes to borrowing books or have different ones? What about when YOU are the lender of books?

Sometimes I Do Things That Would Probably Make Some of You Cringe

I already told you that I don’t care about having  pristine books or matching covers and it makes me feel like a freaking unicorn in this community (but learned that there are others of you who don’t care either!!) so you know I’m not terribly particular. I don’t mind a used book and I love that sometimes my books are worn and look well-loved. That’s pretty much how ALL MY books when I was younger looked — tattered and loved.

  However, I realize that I do some things that would make most book lovers cringe. I’m kind of not so nice to my books.

 

(Note: These things do NOT apply to borrowed books — so if you lend me a book I swear I take good care of it!)

 

I dog ear pages.

Shamelessly. I dog ear pages when I don’t have a bookmark or even a random scrap of paper (or am too lazy to grab something) so that I can find my page later. The majority of my dogearing happens when I read an AMAZING book with amazing quotes I want to copy in my quote notebook or passages I know I’ll want to remember so I can read over and over again (lots of swoony scenes). So the more dog ears = AHMAZING BOOK.

I read in the bathtub/pools/other bodies of water.

Reading in water (ESPECIALLY THE TUB)  is one of my favorite places to read however I realize it probably gives most of your heart palpitations to get your book close to water for fear of water damage. Not going to lie, when I read in the tub my book does sometimes get little drops of water on it. I’ve never DROPPED a book in the tub but I’ve certainly got a little water damage on my books from wet hands or a splash. Nothing extreme but I know some of you would grimace  as you look at the damage to the pages.

 

I eat & drink  while I read.

I know others do this too but I’m BAD because I’m not careful. I have this  tendency to drop things and forget to make sure my hands  are 100% food free before I turn the next page because I’m just so INTO THE BOOK. I let my dear friend Jen of the now defunct Makeshift Bookmark borrow Mara Dyer a long while ago and I remember warning her that I spilled food because  I was too into the book. I’m working on this one, I swear! Ain’t nobody got time to find a napkin when you are ending a really good page and need to get to the next one!

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I have the tendency to throw my books around.

I throw my books (not very carefully) in my bags all the time — not really concerned if they get bent or what not. I throw them on the bed when I’m getting my pjs on to read in bed. I throw it in my car. I just THROW MY BOOKS around. I’m not gentle with them at all. As I was typing this I happened to look over and see the state of my current read that I had left on the couch and I had clearly thrown my bag on it. I kid you not, I did not pose this. I’m  just not very gentle — probably why I don’t buy really fragile or expensive things often. Go ahead, call out my book manhandling.

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I open my books WIDE.

I know some people don’t enjoy cracking the spines on their books but I totally don’t care. I bend them sometimes so the front cover is actually touching when I’m reading a paperback because it fits better in my hand.

 

So are you appalled with my manhandling of my books?? On a scale of 1 to 5 how much did you cringe while reading my bad habits? Do you do any of these things also or are some of these things like really bad reader behavior??

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