The idea for this post all started from a gchat I sent Estelle after a #booknerd hashtag was going around. I felt like perhaps it was inappropriate but that I would share it with a dear friend. This is what I said:

Me: I have a #booknerd tweet but I’m pretty sure it would be inappropriate
Estelle: ha ha TELL ME TELL ME
Me: You know you are a #booknerd when you say at night, “Let’s go back to bed” and your husband assumes it’s for sexytimes but you really meant to go read your book in bed.

We then started having this AWESOME conversation about our husbands, – Estelle’s husband is a reader & Will is not a reader — our reading habits and them. Estelle than suggested it would be fun to make a post about marriage and books. We threw some ideas around and decided it would be fun if I talk about my experience having a non-reading husband and she talks about what it is like to have a reader for a husband!


Through the years I always had that “I could never marry a guy who…” list. Some were serious dealbreakers but other things were like “I could never marry a guy who didn’t play the guitar and sing like an angel” or “I could never marry a guy who didn’t appreciate French films.” LOTS OF SUPERFICIAL THINGS ON MY LIST.


Enter Will. There were very few ways that 18 year old Will met my more superficial list of “must haves” when we met. He wasn’t as “cultured” as me (21 year old Jamie was a snob x 10). He liked rap and I liked more of the “indie” rock scene. He wore sweatpants and basketball shorts all of the time and I would never have ever been caught dead in sweatpants outside of my dorm (seriously, if I could have worn a dress playing intramural soccer I would have). He liked sports sports sports and I liked to read, watch foreign films, go to concerts and sit in coffeehouses for hours and talk about life (all things he really didn’t appreciate).

We were pretty much opposites but somehow when I was able to strip away all my superficial “must haves” I was able to see that he possessed all of the really important things. We’ve grown to share interests and appreciate the ones we don’t share. It’s okay with me that we don’t sit in bed to read together or that he doesn’t want to throw a dance party every time a book shows up in the mailbox because he never complains for real when my books are overtaking our apartment, he remembers my favorite authors and he really respects my reading time and what it means to me. (It helps that he is smart enough to not be one of theeeese people).

Do I wish he read? YOU BET. I’d love to share that with him. But it’s okay with me that he doesn’t share one of my biggest passions. I always get people that are surprised that I could marry someone who never reads EVER because of how HUGE it is in my life but it just WORKS for us somehow! Even though we dated for 5 years before we were married and he KNEW this about me, I did wonder how he would be able to handle it 24/7. But…it works (though I’d love for him to read once in a while!).


HowitworksSince we don’t share this hobby I find ways to make it work and not entirely ignore him or shut him out.

-I can lay right next to him and read when he plays video games and, even though we are in our own zones, we are still THERE next to each other and it feels like we are spending time together with a little rub to the back or kiss on the cheek. He can pretend he is a FIFA champion and I can enjoy whatever adventure I’m on. The only time this is bad is when he gets really excited about his video game because then he moves around a lot and sometimes jumps.

-I read while he watches sports and still be snuggled up next to him and he loves it because I won’t talk while he is watching the game but I can still look up during a big moment in the game and be enthusiastic with him.

– I read while we are at the pool or the beach (also trains & airplanes) and he always falls asleep so I don’t have to feel bad for ignoring him unlike when I’m on vacation with OTHER family members who want to talk always on the beach.

– He loves to drive and I hate being his passenger so I read while he drives and he prefers that because I’m quiet. I prefer it too because his driving gives me anxiety.

– He falls asleep way earlier than me so I spend time with him until he falls asleep and then the BOOK LIGHT IS ON!

perksWhile I truly would LOVE it if he liked to read on occasion I have to admit there ARE some perks to having a non-bookish husband.

It’s extra special & romantic to me when he buys me a book for my birthday because it means a) he listens to me when I go on and on about booksΒ  and can identify authors I rave about often b) he had to journey into the bookstore which is the equivalent to how I used to look at the gym — scary, scary territory where one is not in their element.

You have a bargaining chips! Like, “if I can buy 5 new books. You can buy a new pair of shoes.” It works like a charm.

You only have to deal with your own book collection and the problem of shelf space. Firstly, ewww I don’t want to share my bookshelves and secondly..sorry bud, it would be your books to go if we ran out of space!

–Β  It lets me have my own THING. It’s very important to have your own THING or hobby in a marriage. So it’s good for us when I go to book events or have book club so we get some time apart and can do our own thing. For him, that means uninterrupted video game time without me being like “could you stop yelling at the tv??”

– He doesn’t read so he never judges what I’m reading — no matter what the cover looks like.

I don’t have to share my book allowance for the month with anybody.

— I don’t have to worry about him misplacing one of my books or really even TOUCHING my books.



– He doesn’t try to tell you that you have too many books because he knows they are like children.
– He gets excited for you when you get excited about book things even if you know he has zero interest.
– He doesn’t interrupt you when you read unless in the event of an emergency or if he asks nicely.
– He doesn’t care that you are going to be reading with a book light all night and that it might even shine into his eyes if he wakes up in the middle of the night.
– He doesn’t object when you refuse to watch a movie because you haven’t read the book.
– He doesn’t make fun of you too much when you cry because of a book or when you throw it because it pisses you off.
– He will at least know a few of your favorite authors or favorite books.
– He would never use a book as a coaster. That annoys me (even though you guys know I’m a book manhandler)
– He would never put you on a book buying ban unless you wanted to do it.
– When you run out of shelf space he says, “I guess we need to get you another shelf.”
– He will wait in a very long line for you so that you can both get your books signed AND see the author speak (poor Will sat in the sun for almost 2 hours for me at The National Bookfest to ensure I was at the front of the line)
– He will cook so that you can read on the couch before dinner!
– He always reminds you to charge your e-reader before you go to the gym or take it on a trip.
– He carries your books in the bookstore.




5 Reasons Why Being Married to A Book Nerd Really Kinda Stinks For A Non-Bookish Guy (In the Most Loving Way Possible)

– Books are always on the floor and I trip on them.
– I can never get your attention when you are reading a book.
– There are always way too many packages of books at our doorstep…adding to the mountain of books you already have. SERIOUSLY I AM GOING TO HAVE TO SLEEP ON BOOKS SOON!
– We can’t walk past a bookstore without you wanting to walk in it.
– It’s hard to pick out a movie because I constantly hear “Oh that is based on a book. Oh that one too. etc.”

The Best Perk About Your Wife Being A Reader?

I get uninterrupted free time.

What do you think I’d have to do to get you to read a book?

…… (with a smirk on his face which means it probably wasn’t blog appropriate. I just smacked him.)

Ok, so my for real answer would be that you would have to go to a NASCAR race once.

(UGHHHH. I hate NASCAR. SO MUCH. I don’t know if I can sacrifice that many hours of my life to watch cars go in a circle…unless I can sit there and read. He and his dad used to go to NASCAR races when he was little so I know it’s special for him but I HATE IT. Any other sport I could handle..even golf…but not this. )


So guys! I’d love to hear from you! Is your significant other a reader or no? If yes, tell me about your shared bookish habits! If not, tell me how you handle it and the perks YOU have also found to being with a non-bookish person! Can you think of any good characteristic a non-bookish significant others should possess that I may have forgotten?? And if you are single, is it a deal breaker for you if the person isn’t a reader? If you are dating/married…was having a bookish significant other a MUST HAVE?

Go check out Estelle’s post about what her experience being married to a reader!

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About Jamie

Jamie is a 32 year old married lady (with a new baby!!) who is in denial that she's actually that old to be a married lady and a mom. When she's not reading you can find her doing Pilates followed by eating ice cream, belting out Hamilton (loud and offkey) and having adventures with her husband, daughter and rescue dog.


  1. The best characteristic my non-reading husband has (aside from exceptional taste in women) is that he cooks. I mean, all of it. I haven’t made dinner in 8 years. I sit and read and then I do the dishes. He lets me talk about books and thinks what I’m doing is cool. So being supportive would be another thing.

    • YES it’s the best right?? He even mostly does the dishes too πŸ˜› And so agree…I think supportive is the key thing even if they don’t share our love! He’ll even let me vent about a book or bounce a blog idea off him!

  2. I loved this post so much. My boyfriend is not a reader at all but he knows how much I love it and he would never belittle the time I spend reading. Unless he had been away on a trip for a week or so and when he came back I didn’t pay attention to him. But I digress. Anywho he always asks what am I reading and if I enjoy it. He takes an interest because it’s important to me. Much like I take interest in his work although truthfully it bores the crapola out of me.

    I never thought I could marry a non-reader but this post gives me hope because outside of the non-reader thing,he is a PERFECT match for me.

    • I love that! Will will sometimes do that as well..he’ll be like “How’s your book?” and I know he doesn’ want a play by play but I know he genuinely cares if I like what I’m reading and sometimes gets a kick out of what I tell him is happening in some books!

      • When something sad happens in a book and I’m very emotional/crying Chris will just put his arms around me and hold me.He doesn’t belittle me for being emotional over fictional characters.

  3. Eek! I can totally relate to this post that it’s scary. My boyfriend is not a reader at all but h is so supportive of my passion. He even let me buy him the original Sherlock Holmes, because the adapted children’s version is like the only book he has read for leisure – years ago. I love that you and Will mentioned the “free time” aspect. My boyfriend is ripping off Medusa’s head in God of War, while I’m captivated by a book. It is great to have separate, identifying hobbies. But most of important is that mutual understanding. I have a friend whose boyfriend is jealous of all the time she invests in one of her hobbies, and it is sad seeing how it creates unnecessary conflict . What I love about having a non-reader boyfriend is how special it is when he gets me a book or talks to me about books. I will never forget getting Storm of Swords with “Tuesday love” scrawled in his ugly handwriting.

    This post is so so so amazing. Thanks for sharing both of your thoughts! It was nice to see Will’s perspective as well!

    • Yay for us having men in our life who are so super supportive! And YES I have a friend who has a similar situation as your friend and she always feels bad wanting to partake in her hobby bc he feels like they need to do everything together. SO important to have your own things because I feel like in marriage it is easy to get lost and not know who you are or forget that you are a person outside of being a wife.

      And aww I love that yours buys you books too! It’s SO special. I was SO shocked when he bought me a copy of Lola and the Boy Next Door for my bday bc I’m like HOW did he remember me raving about this AND not know I owned it!

      Thanks for your awesome comment!

  4. 1. I freaking LOVE this post. So much.
    2. I’m a single girl and, to be honest, I think I’d prefer someone who isn’t much of a reader. Maybe not someone who never reads, but someone who’s less invested in the book world so my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE isn’t completely consumed by books. But whoever I end up with better have something he needs time apart/alone time to do (like video games/sports/whatever) because a girl’s gotta be able to get her reading and blogging done. Although understanding how much I value books (despite not being into them so much) is OBVIOUSLY key to me not throwing things.

    • Aw thanks Gaby!! YES. See I wish Will would like enjoy a book every ONCE in a while. That would be the perfect balance so I could rec him a good book! And yes respect for your time to do YOU is so important. Will will be like “are you going to get blogging done Saturday morning? If so I’m going to go do x y or z.” It’s awesome! And even if he IS here with me..he plays video games or is on his computer but we are sitting next to each other.

  5. Omg this sounds like my life! My husband is not a reader at all and would much rather spend time playing video games. But it is nice on the weekends to be able to sit on the couch with him and read while he is playing games. We also enjoy calling each other nerds, him for being obsessed with video games and me for being obsessed with books. πŸ™‚ he does try and interrupt me occasionally when I am reading which earns him a look that says “if you don’t go away right this second, I will smash your Xbox with a hammer.” πŸ™‚ i have tried to get him to read, but it never works so I have accepted that we will forever be a reader and nonreader couple. This was an awesome post! Thanks for sharing!

    • “forever be a non-reader and reader couple” YEP same here. I’m sure I’ll still try but I’m ok with it! hahha and I love that he gets that look too! πŸ˜› No boy wants a hulk smashing of their video game system!!

  6. Oh my gosh, this is my fiance and me!!! I completely identify with your entire post πŸ™‚ I love that Chris can play video games while I read next to him, and I especially love when he takes me on bookstore dates and is so patient with me when I take forever to pick!! I also love that he lets me get excited and explain entire books to him even if he doesn’t know 90% of what I’m talking about haha. He does read occasionally, but mostly sports nonfiction and Halo books. It’s cute how excited he gets! Seriously loved your post, you and your husband sound adorable. Non-readers are sometimes the best πŸ˜‰

    • ” also love that he lets me get excited and explain entire books to him even if he doesn’t know 90% of what I’m talking about” YES Will too. It’s such a great quality. Just like he will explain sports things to me too haha.

      Thanks for your comment!

  7. That was probably the cutest post I’ve read in a while. I’m not even in a relationship but I think that even if whoever I was with didn’t read, as long as they didn’t insult me or make fun of me for crying then it’ll be OK. I love how you guys can do your own things but still be there and everything, it’s awesome!

    • Aw thank you! <3 Def look for someone who will be like that! It makes the difference! And someone who is fine with y'all doing your own separate thing sometimes!

  8. Great post! I dated non-readers in the past and I have to say that I love being with a guy who reads. My boyfriend suggests we go to the bookstore on a regular basis and we often cuddle up together with our books. However we are going to need a ton of shelves for our books once we move in together. Despite both being readers we read completely different genres. He’s more into science fiction and graphic novels while I love YA and romances. None of my previous boyfriends would step foot in a library without complaining but he comes home with books all the time and sometimes I go with him. Over the past two years he’s introduced me to comic books, British TV, and video games. We have a lot in common but we also have favorite shows and board games we’ve discovered together. I consider myself very lucky to have found an amazing man who reads and I hope to be with him for a long time.

    • ENVY!!! hahah I mean, I’m OK with his non-reader status but that doesn’t mean I can’t be a little jealous right?? πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing your story! You guys sound amazing together!

  9. Oh my gosh. This is adorable and wonderful and so full of CUTENESS!

    Sometimes it is amazing how well bookish and non-bookish people can get along. I’m not married, but I have a twin brother, and though we don’t live together anymore, books have always been a place where our opinions diverge. I am, obviously, bookish, and he hasn’t read a novel in like four years. We used to fight about it as teens (one particular argument involved him claiming that all fiction was USELESS and a waste of time, energy, and intelligence!), but since we’ve reached our twenties, we’ve found more common ground, and while he still doesn’t like reading, he gets why I do now. So that’s nice πŸ™‚

    • I’m glad you and your brother are at a better place with that now!! BUT REALLY…reading = the best so HE LOSES. haha. I can’t believe he said that about fiction! I would have thumped him over the head with the biggest book I could find.

  10. I absolutely adore this post. You two have such a sweet relationship and I love how you’ve made it work. I always joke somewhat that the reading thing would be a deal breaker for me. But I guess in all reality as long as he can handle the fact that reading, as it is for you, is a huge passion for me then I’d be okay with a non reader. Maybe… haha

    • Thank you Sheri! It really is…I mean I used to joke about that all the time that he needed to read 5 books before we could get married but then I probs would have never gotten married πŸ˜›

      As long as they are respectful, can appreciate that you love it and have their own thing…it all will work out πŸ™‚

  11. My husband is NOT a reader. The last book he read on purpose was at least a decade ago in high school and he has no intentions of picking up another one. I CAN con him into listening to an audiobook every once in a while on long car trips, but that usually fails, too.

    When we first met I thought that him being a non-reader would be a problem because let’s face it: most non-readers don’t get the passion us readers have for our beloved books and stories. Luckily, mine totally gets it and will tag along as I gasp at first editions that I stumble across and knows that there is no such thing as a ‘quick stop’ at the bookstore. Plus, he knows I like political books and is always sending me recommendations that he sees on Jon Stewart or other books he thinks I might find interesting.

    SO, marrying a non-reader is actually not a bad thing. It gives him time to do what he wants to do while I’m reading AND it’s a quiet hobby. Plus, with NetGalley and review requests, it has become a fairly less expensive hobby than it was before. Plus, I have an incredible network of bloggy friends so I’m never alone in talking about books that I have read. I DO think that it would be a lot harder if I didn’t blog.

    Great topic!

    • That’s awesome!! Yay for us having men in our life that can appreciate and take interest in what we love! And OMG YES..I really think it would be harder if I didn’t blog…him not reading. I never thought about that!!

  12. This post is perfection! I’m far too young to be married, but this is definitely something to think about. I LOVE being around bookish people-I have plans to work in publishing and the bookish community was the whole reason I started blogging-but it is important that your spouse isn’t your clone and the most important thing is him or her being respectful. I don’t think I could handle marrying someone who is rude about me reading or who is a judgey book snob and looks down on some of my selections, but Will sounds like the perfect non-reader husband. From everything you’ve said about him, you seem so fitting in an opposites attract kind of way, and as long as he keeps the condensation-covered glasses away from the books, it sounds like all is good. πŸ™‚

  13. Aww, I LOVE this post! My high school boyfriend wasn’t a reader, so I identify with a lot of the things in this post. I always wished that I could get him to read just one book … just ONE! But it didn’t happen. After then, the reading thing was unofficially on my deal breaker list, but I’m sure I could have handled it if I’d fallen for another non-reader. But, as luck would have it, I met my husband IN a bookstore — and he loves reading just as much as I do! Although I read much, much more than he does, since most of his reading is chess books, with the occasional novel tossed in. He also plays a lot of video games, like Will, and I have some of my best reading time curled up next to him on the couch … except when he interrupts me reading to say “Watch this part! Watch me jump over here / fight this boss / solve this puzzle, etc.” =)

  14. My husband reads maybe five books a year, which is crazy to me because he is a professional writer! My reading is only problematic when we’re on vacation–we went to Paris for a month on our honeymoon and I read like 40 books, which drove him crazy because he couldn’t really do his lazy stuff, like watching tv.

  15. I love this post!! Will sounds hilarious, and it’s great that despite the fact that he doesn’t read, he gets it! My fiance is also a reader, but he doesn’t read nearly as much as I do because he gets busy with work and whatnot and sometimes prefers TV, video games, whatever to reading. But, I like that he’s given me suggestions of things he’s liked to read. I never would have read Stephen King if it weren’t for him and have really loved some of them! Also, can you believe he was the one who got me to read Hunger Games in the first place? Crazy, I know.

    I like that we can go to a park and hang out and read together. But I also like that he’d be happy to give me time to blog, etc while he does something else. Currently we’re doing long distance so I’m sure once I move back, I’ll be reading less but I think we have a good balance!

  16. OMG I love this post SO FREAKING MUCH! This is word for word my boyfriend and I:

    “I can lay right next to him and read when he plays video games and, even though we are in our own zones, we are still THERE next to each other”

    We have this routine where I lay on the sofa and read while he’s 2 feet away playing video games at the computer. And it’s awesome! I love how we get to do our own things, but we’re still together and he likes to laugh at me when I start screaming about an amazing book.

    I don’t mind that my boyfriend isn’t a reader at all. I still share things about my books with him. If I’m reading a great story, I recap it for him a bit, so we still get to share it a little. And maybe he hates that I bombard him with that, but if he does, he tolerates it so well and never complains. πŸ˜€

    Plus my boyfriend is such a trooper. He’s been to a few signings with me, including one Cassandra Clare signing where the line took like a billion hours. O_O It was awful but I was amazed at how well he handled it (and that he then came with me to see Marissa Meyer <3).

  17. Jamie, you’re so pretty! =D

    This idea you guys came up with is awesome and I had such a good time reading your post. The only thing that would really bother me would be my significant other being bothered by my reading. Just… no.

  18. I’m just smiling a little at the cuteness. I love what he wrote, and “sleeping on books.” Poor Will.

    And I really wonder what was his answer to what you would have to do to get him to read a book . . .

    Anyway, it’s clear that you and your husband appreciate each other’s differences, and I think that’s one of the most important things in marriage.

  19. Ahhhh, I love this post sooo sooo much. I read it while I was eating cereal this morning. lol. Then I got my daughter up and dressed as quick as humanly possible so that I would have time to sit down and write a lengthy reply.

    So many of these remind me of Brian and I. I’ve tried and I’ve tried… to no avail. They best I can do is get him to watch a book turned movie.. and then I annoy the shit out of him while telling him all the reasons the book is better and how this or that didn’t happen. lol.

    The bargaining chips!!! Omg, yes.. Brian likes car stuff. Hooking up cars.. or expensive computer stuff. Lets just say everything that Brian is into, IS NOT CHEAP! So I often tell him, Hey, I coulda bought 7 or 8 kindle books for that amount… so I bought 2 today, just so you know.. but that didn’t nearly reach what you spent. Not that he cares what books I buy, but I always feel I need to tell him.. just a respect thing… except if it’s a 99 cent sale. I dont feel obligated then. lol

    EWWWWW Nascar!! I am with you woman! And thankfully my husband agrees. I think it might have to do with the fact we live so close to Pocono Raceway. The tourist, ugh. I drive by the place every day, so if he ever makes you go.. just tweet me and I’ll come rescue you. I live close enough to hear the cars on the track if the wind is blowing in the right direction.

    Love Wills responses. I don’t have a ton of physical books but the ones I do, well they are all over. And my daughters. We have them all over too. I’m hoping she will grow up to be a heavy reader like me, then Brian will really be screwed. and I’ll have a reading buddy at last.

    having differences is very important. See, you have it all figured out and you’re still a newly wed. You two are forever. <3

  20. Great post!

  21. I obviously love this! As I wrote to Estelle, my darling boyfriend is in between Will and James! He reads but not that much. But like Will, he makes the best of all my reading time and watches things I would never watch and I don’t get to say JACK cuz well, I’m reading. And he DOES go in bookstores with me, and has become quite accustomed to it… FINE FINE, I bribe him with coffee and pastries, but hey.. it is what it is πŸ˜‰

    ANYWAY, love this post!! <3

  22. Yes, yes and yes. Married to a nonreader and I am right there with you on so many things you said! I read while he watches sports and I am so glad I don’t have to share my bookshelf space! For Valentine’s Day this year my husband offered to read a book with me. Seriously, I was over the moon! We picked one out together and read it (I read it, he got about half way through). But it was a really sweet thought! There are pros and cons to marrying a nonreader, but I think it’s just like any other interest in life. You don’t have to share all your interests with your spouse as long as you both respect and support the other’s interests. Love this post!

  23. Oh, Jamie… this post made me laugh so much! I just want to squeeze you and Will!

    I am single, so I have no worries about any intrusions or interruptions. I’m okay with this! My niece’s room at my house is half bookshelves. I think she would like it if they weren’t in there, but let’s face it! Those books were here before you, my favorite niece! πŸ™‚

  24. Ginger @ GReads! says:

    I <3 you guys! Tell Will that TEXAS is coming to visit one of these days, haha (& I promise to leave my books at home).

  25. I can relate to this on many levels. My fiancΓ© and I have been together for 8 years and in that time I have only gotten him to read half a book. He doesn’t mind that I have tons of books and actually supports my dream of having a huge library. He’s a bit OCD about my shelves, though, and doesn’t like that I have them stacked up in front of and on top of other books. I’m very unorganized. I have my own ‘office’ which is half library, half craft-area and it’s a big mess but he’s okay with that being my space. I felt bad early on in our relationship when I read too much and felt guilty that I wasn’t spending every waking moment with him but he’s learned to take that free time to play his video games and other things that interest him. One problem we do have is that I refuse to watch a movie unless I’ve read the book first and he is always trying to trick me into watching it anyway. If there’s something he really wants to watch, I’ll make sure that I read it way ahead of time. It’s good to see that so many other people have partners who don’t read but have so many great points on why that is okay. πŸ™‚

  26. Aww, I love this post! It’s so wonderful that you guys work so well together and you make a lot of great points πŸ™‚

    My boyfriend is a casual reader. He has been reading more lately because I always have suggestions for him (and tons of books ready to hand over), but still nowhere near as much as I read. He is, however, completely supportive. He never complains about taking me to the library when I have a zillion things on hold, or stopping by a bookstore when we’re close by. He helps me lug my books around and even came to bookish events when we were in NYC together… and didn’t hate them! He actually really enjoyed Teen Author Carnival this year (thank you, David Levithan!) and that made me so happy because even though he doesn’t understand just how much I love these things, he tries for me. He also gets excited with me when I get a hugely anticipated or lusted after ARC or when I chat with an author I adore and I have to love him for that πŸ™‚

    I think it’s really about give and take, though, and as you said, separate interests. When I want to go meet up with the Ottawa bloggers, he tells me to have fun and goes to play games with his friends. I watch his nerdy movies with him and he’ll sit and read with me for an hour later on. He totally doesn’t mind me reading late in bed when he just wants to sleep. He understands when I need a night in to catch up on reviews, and then I always try to do what he wants to do the next night. That compromise and respect for each others’ interests is so vital to a healthy relationship and I so appreciate him for working with me on it. Though I think I’ll probably overwhelm him a bit when we finally get a place together and I have to set up six bookshelves, I know that he’ll get over it and help me organize them and then we’ll go shoot some zombies together, and if that’s not love, I don’t know what is πŸ˜‰

  27. I am married to a non-reader and it works out for me too – not so sure how he feels about it since my book habits are getting kind of crazy lately with all the reviews i have due… But great post – I totally agree on the video game time – he is always more than happy to appease me reading a book while he plays his beloved PS3. Great way to get around me feeling bad for reading while we are home together. I also agree on the sports topic, awesome compromise. Now, my husband does read “sometimes” which means 1 book per year and it’s always James Patterson.. but anyway – he goes out of his way to support me and my insane blogging, even offering to help me spruce up my site. He is a member of my blog or a follower even though he doesn’t read, he still reads my posts to just know what is going on in my blog world and watch it grow (how sweet is this?).. I have to admit even though my husband is a non-reader he totally supports my passion for books – even though I do annoy him sometimes with my book gushing.. To his credit he will listen the first 5 times i gush over a story – then he usually “nicely” tells me he’s already heard this…4 other times. I also have to give him a big high five for dealing with my Twilight Obsession – he even got me a Team Edward t-shirt (now you know that’s love!). Great post Jamie! Love it — I think I’m going to share this on my blog today and i’ll link to your site — amazing topic!

  28. AHHH this is my EXACT life! My husband is not a “reader” but since we’ve been married he’s started to read when I really pressure him (he still has 9 months to read Divergent). I know it’s not his thing and I respect that–and like you guys, he loves to play video games and watch sports so it works out perfectly for the both of us! I’m so happy to read this post because I’m sure it’s what most of the #booknerds like us out there are experiencing!

  29. My Hubby is a reader and librarian..and he loves to read books with me. On my blog we review books together and do a podcast style discussions with each other about them. He always lets me pick the books and he doesn’t care how girly they are or if they are romance based books etc.
    It is great and makes me very happy…but the one disadvantage is that we a) have to share the book ..but generally Aidan always lets me read the book first but sometimes I have to share. b) It is hard sometimes to pace myself because sometimes I have more time to read and zip ahead of him…and vice versa. c) Sometimes I love a book and he hates, vice versa..this doesn’t happen very often but it does make for fun discussions.

  30. First of all, you two are mad adorable. Second, it’s pretty funny how similar y’all’s relationship is to mine and Andy’s. For example, I too read in bed while he plays FIFA on his iPad. (That app has some goofy music, yo.)

  31. My husband isn’t a “reader” though he does read occasionally… which has its own frustrations. Because I know that reading is something he enjoys, so when I come across a book I just know he would love (like READY PLAYER ONE) but he can’t get excited about it because the reading bug just isn’t biting at the moment… it’s hard for me to deal with for some reason.

  32. This post is so awesome!! Your tweet especially because I think that ALL THE TIME. My husband is kind of in the non-reader category (he reads occasionally…VERY occasionally) so a lot of your comments totally resonate with me. I love your “perks” of being married to a non reader though…they made me feel like there’s hope. HA. πŸ™‚
    I did a post related to this a few months ago ( and I think the toughest thing is just making sure our “us” time is spent…together. Because reading can be so solitary! Like Will said, sometimes it totally drives my husband nuts that he can’t get my attention while I’m reading. But I’m working on it…kind of. πŸ™‚

  33. my hubby is 3 years younger than me too. anyway, hubby was never a big reader, but in the last couple years, he’s started listening to audio books and has even “read” the hunger games series, which was cool because we could talk about and debate it. i keep trying to get him to read other things i think he would like, but mostly he listens to boring old WEB Griffin, blech. Guess I can’t expect him to want to read Rainbow Rowell or Sarah Dessen. But at least it’s SOMETHING. πŸ™‚

  34. This is one of the best, most engaging posts I have ever read.

    Will sounds SO sweet. I think I’d be ok with a guy like him if he didn’t read. I mean, HE DOESN’T EVER SEEM TO COMPLAIN!

    I’ll be honest, I would love to meet a guy who reads, but I’m afraid I’d be judged for what I read D:

  35. Loved this post. My husband married me HATING books and reading. He said bookstores gave him a headache…haha.

    I have since got him hooked on audiobooks and he then started to read some as well. Since we read mostly the same book we don’t worry about ” his books/my books” and he will go to bookish event with me and enjoy them! (He was more excited to meet Cassie Clare than I was.)

    He ends up getting to some of my TBR before me since he will pick the ones that catch his eye and then he gets all excited when I read it finally. He loves that ” he read it first”. πŸ˜‰

    He doesn’t read like I do all the time, so we do a lot of the video game/reading and sports/reading, but it’s really awesome that now we can talk about books and authors and characters, and he knows them.

  36. ha! Mr. Betty reads mostly non-fiction, but i’ve recently convinced him to read some YA. πŸ™‚ He loved Miss Peregrine’s Home for Children and liked The 5th Wave a lot too.. Now he is reading the new Dashner book. haha I love when there is a game on so that I can sit next to him and read without feeling guilty! I definitely think he gets irritated sometimes because of how much time I spend reading or doing blog stuff— especially when he says something and I don’t hear him the first 3 times. πŸ˜‰ lol Forcing him to participate in some blog posts has helped. haha Mr. Betty and Will need to talk some ball while we read.

  37. Love this. Tom is a reader but our tastes don’t always overlap. He has NEVER read a YA book in its entirety but we both like mystery/crime/thrillers (though he sometimes goes for grittier stuff than I do) and we’ll both often read whatever big literary book is getting attention (like we both read A Visit from the Goon Squad.) My favorite part of it is recommending books to him that he then loves. But shelf space is a BIG problem in our apartment even though I give a lot of books away after I read them. We need to buy a fourth bookcase soon!

  38. You two are so cute. But yes, you look like babies in those first pictures. And although I’m single, I like to think I’d be okay marrying/dating an non-reader. Mostly because I’m running out of my own book space, I’m not sure I could share!

  39. Hi!

    I’m so glad that we finally cracked the whip and wrote these. I loved hearing more about your experiences with Will and that we agree so much that a good marriage requires us to be supportive even when we don’t feel the same way about things. It’s so important and I wish I saw it happening between more people.

    You guys are so great, and I’m glad that our men are so game to have their faces and thoughts and habits made centerstage on our blogs. (Do they even have a choice?)

    Marriage is really hard, and I truly believe our hobbies help us to get through the rough times and maybe even help us to connect with each other. It gives us something to talk about, even if it’s not heavy. I really like that about reading, and it makes me feel good that James has his own things he can do when I am diving into one of mine. (Blogging fits in this category too.)


  40. What a great and entertaining post! (and side links :)) You and Will make a great couple πŸ™‚
    My significant other and I are opposites just like you and Will. I am the booknerd and he doesn’t read at all (books that is). For me personally, it drives me nuts when I am enjoying a book a lot and then I look around and see so many people missing out on all the fun! A lot of the times I get alone time but I have to create it because would rather watch a movie instead of read. I tend to read everywhere (on lunch, in transit, before bed, etc) so majority of the time it is not a problem.

    I would love to get him to read a few books a year but I haven’t had any success yet. Ha ha. In the end it is all about balance, and for now I think we have that covered somewhat.

  41. What a great post. You both put so much work into it. I love having my own hobbies and I love that my husband does too (although of course, I wish he liked MY hobbies more) and he is totally supportive of my book habits. Like, sure – go to that reading! Get that book you want! Also, he does listen to audio books in the car so we do discuss those when he does get around to them.

  42. My husband never used to be a reader…but then again, neither did I, which is just crazy! I definitely found my love for reading a few years ago in university and then I converted my husband to becoming a reader shortly after! We don’t really have the same taste in books, but every once in a while I can talk him into reading a book with me that looks REALLY good (like The Hunger Games). Typically, we have our reading time together in the evenings and I love it. There’s something so great about just sitting reading together…sorry. But, I totally get what you mean when you said you read while he plays video games and your still spending time together, because it’s the same for us. We are usually both reading different books, so we are both in different worlds, but it still feels like we are spending quality time together lol.

    –Sam @ SIK Book Reviews

  43. I’m married to an occasional reader! He rarely reads, usually only when traveling for business or when we are on vacation, and since we have had kids and a puppy, he reads even less. When he does it is almost always autobiographies. It works though, and for all of the reasons you listed above. I was reading your post saying to myself, “mine does that too!” Especially the jumping up and down while playing FIFA on PS3 and disrupting my reading, but then again he gets to spend time playing video games, while I can concentrate on a reading without him talking to me. He also will cook dinner and let me read a little longer. He stays up a little longer at night to keep me company while I try to finish a book. He listens and buys me books I want.
    I’m not sure if I could handle him being a fanatic reader as well, just like you say…sharing shelf space…erm NO!
    My love of reading has passed down to our daughter though, so now he gets annoyed when we both have our noses in books, and he is trying to get our attention – neither of us hear him!
    This was a great post idea! I’ve loved reading all of the comments, thanks for sharing!

  44. This is SUCH a great post – I loved it! And you two are so cute together. It makes me so happy that you have found a way to balance your reading and his non-reading. I am fortunate to be married to a fellow reader…but he doesn’t really come close to the level of book lover I’m on! As a matter of fact, our daily life is often a lot like yours and Will’s – he’ll play video games and watch sports while I cuddle next to him and read (although I love football so when THAT is on, I’m usually fully attentive too, haha). And we definitely feel like we’re still spending quality time together because we do acknowledge each other with touches and kisses – and sometimes he’ll ask me stop reading for a minute to watch something he’s doing in his game and sometimes I’ll ask him to stop playing for a minute to listen to something I’ve read in my book. And then there are the times when we curl up together and BOTH read…those are super-special, especially when we’re reading the same book and can gush about it’s amazingness together. <3

    I love that your hubby pays attention enough to know some of your favorite authors – and that he buys you books for your birthday. SO ROMANTICAL!

  45. Jamie, I looove this post so much!! It was hilarious, and actually really eye opening! Now I know that everything is going to be okay if I end up married to a guy who doesn’t read πŸ˜› thanks for the heads up πŸ˜‰

  46. My husband isn’t much of a reader either, but I haven’t stopped trying to convert him yet – even after 23 years πŸ˜‰

    But we do the same as you guys do, he watches his different sports on TV while I read, and when something exciting happens in his match, I’ll be excited about it with him, and if I start crying because of a story, he’ll hold me tight.

    I think it’s actually important to have some things we really love that are not in common so that we can also have our own little moments. That makes things interesting and we can talk about stuff the other doesn’t already know as well.

    This is truly a great idea for a discussion post, Jaime! Now I’m going to read all the comments, too πŸ™‚

  47. This was such a wonderful post, Jamie! And cute too! I loved all the pictures of you and Will.

    My husband is the furthest thing from bookish, too, though I did convince him to read The Hunger Games. He also read Catching Fire but it took him MONTHS to get through both of those books.

    Mike is a huge video game guy, so it’s easy for us to spend time ‘together’ while at the same time doing our own thing. I’ll read while he plays. (Also, I’ll pick up the controller with him a lot of the time too.) I think that video games can have a lot in common with books – Mike really appreciates in-depth plot lines and fantastic story-telling, just like I do with a book. And the best thing is when a book’s film adaptation comes out and we can enjoy the story together.

  48. I love this post! So funny! My boyfriend is a reader, but he’s a MATH reader. So he has his own little library full of math, computer programming, and physics books. His history of math book isn’t bad, it has pictures so I’ve picked it up and read a bit from it. But the rest? Ew! Since we have allergies we’ve had to cut down significantly on keeping books and I’ve had to donate a lot to local libraries. But just like you and Will, we sit down every night, but on a show on netflix. He’ll read or program on his laptop and I’ll be reading or online looking at blogs/facebook/twitter. He’s a big classics reader and it REALLY frustrates me that he won’t give YA a shot. There’s so much stuff out there that I think is just as good as some of the classics…ah well. One day….Anyways I love how you included Will’s section on this post–so funny!

  49. I love this post, Jamie! My boyfriend wouldn’t say he’s a reader but over the past 8 years I’ve been able to get him to read more and more. Not that I press books on him but I do buy the odd book by authors I know he likes. I also like to think that my constant reading has rubbed off on him. It warms my heart when he goes outside to read in the sun after work, haha. He’s also very considerate of my reading habits, as Will seems to be. Sure, he complains about me always getting mail and books taking over the house and having several overflowing shelves…but he tries to understand and won’t interrupt me if I’m reading. Or, if he starts talking and realizes that my nose is in a book he’ll say, “Oh…” and wait until I finish the paragraph or page and look up. I kinda like him πŸ˜‰

  50. OHHH JAMIE. I love this post. Shane is NOT a reader. But in a way, that’s kind of awesome. We have hobbies we CAN share but reading is not one of them, but that’s okay. I can’t share in his hobby/passion of hot rods and working on cars & bikes and he doesn’t share my love for reading. It’s almost better because then we don’t have conflicting opinions over books or characters or genres. We don’t have to fight for shelf space and I will get to build my library in our new house ANY WAY I WANT TO. And decorate it anyway I want too πŸ™‚ He can work on cars while I read or he can watch TV while I read next to him. He still hasn’t learned not to talk about the silly things while I’m reading but there’s plenty of time to “train” him for that! Haha.
    I agree, I think it’s really important for people in a relationship to have their own hobbies. We don’t have to do everything together all the time and we each get our “alone” time too.
    Love these posts! Now I must check out Estelle’s. Love you ladies!

  51. This is such a wonderful post and something I can COMPLETELY understand. My fiancΓ© is a non-reader and I’m so grateful that he’s still accepting of my crazy obsessive hobby. I have books EVERYWHERE but I love being able to say that his response isn’t “Could you get rid of some of these?” but instead is: “Gosh, we need to get you another bookshelf.” And reading while he watches sports/plays video games? I totally do. All the time. πŸ™‚

  52. My husband is a non-reader as well, and at first I pushed him to try some books but he never really was enthusiastic about it. He loves sports and outside activities. When we moved and I was finally able to unpack all my books, I looked at my shelves and thought ” Thank God, I don’t have to share shelf space!”

    It’s great because we can do our own things but still do it together. When he watches hockey, I read…when he goes fishing, I bring a book and sit in the sun. πŸ™‚

  53. I wrote on Estelle’s post that although I’m currently single I’ve always envisioned myself being with a fellow reader. Yet now I find myself conflicted because you make several good points about being with a non-reader! I mean, I really do like the idea of not having to share your shelf space, and having time for yourself where you’re still in the same proximity but doing your own thing. That really does sound appealing. Hmm. Guess I’ll have to wait and see what is in store for me! πŸ˜‰

  54. You guys are the cutest ever! I used to say that one of my Husband Requirement was that he had to be taller than me…and then I went and married a guy who is a few inches shorter. HA! I laughed at your own requirements. I really love how you talk about learning to appreciate each others’ interests, but also having things that you each enjoy separately. Both are so important for a healthy relationship.

    My husband used to be a reader, or what I mean is that he is when he has gobs of free time to fill, which he doesn’t now. He prefers nonfiction books like The Tipping Point, but back when we were first married he read the entire Harry Potter series as well as the Poisonwood Bible. I still cannot believe he read the second one! But now that we have kids and he works so much, it’s not how he chooses to use his limited free time (as opposed to me, who reads every spare minute I can find). But what is AWESOME about him is that he loves cultural events. He actually enjoys attending bookish events with me, including author signings and talks, even though he will likely never read the discussed books. He literally gets bummed when he can’t come – usually b/c he has to watch our kids so that I can go. It’s so silly. Even more amazing, is that he will actually sit for 20+ minutes and listen to me talk through an entire book, if it’s one that made a big impact on me, or that I feel like I need to discuss asap. When I read WILD AWAKE we talked a long time about that book, b/c he works in mental health and that girl and everyone around her was suffering from something!

    This is such a great topic, Jamie! Thanks for posting about it and inciting discussion, and for reminding us all why we love our other halves :).

  55. My husband is not much of a book reader (although he is a total news junkie, so he’s often at his computer reading news articles while I’m reading a novel), which has never really bothered me. I love that because he’s not a reader, he’s not at all invested in what I’m reading and I can vent about a character or tell him my outlandish theories about what is really going on in a book. He is also really supportive of my reading. Whenever I have done the Readathon, he cooked for me and kept scolding me, insisting I get back to reading. It just works for us!

  56. I’m single, and I can say that if a guy was a non-reader, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me. So long as he was also okay with me being obsessed with books. If he had a problem with my love of reading, then that would be a deal breaker.

    Having said that, even though it’s not a deal breaker, it would be really nice to meet someone who loves reading. It doesn’t have to be on the same level as me, but I think it would be fun to share a love of books and stories. Actually, if I met someone who loved books as much as me, then that would cause a huge problem because I don’t have enough shelf space for my own books as it is. I couldn’t imagine trying to fit in all of his books too.

    I think my BFF has found the perfect reading balance in her relationship. Her husband enjoys reading, but nowhere near as much as my BFF. But it works great because she’ll read the books she likes while he plays video games, and then they’ll also read books together. They especially love to read series together, like Harry Potter.

    • I’m not really sure why parts of my comment came out in bold… that’s just weird. I was just trying to make one word in the first paragraph bold, and I must have done something wrong… Oops.

  57. My boyfriend is definitely not a reader, he tries to get into things but always gives up because he’s just not that interested. But my boyfriend is great about understanding. He makes fun of me a lot for it (and calls me an addict…) but he’s just joking around. The thing I love about having a non-bookish boyfriend is that if I had someone like me I don’t think I would get out as much as I do. I would rather just stay in and be alone with whatever I’m reading, but every so often he will get me to do other things. But like you said, I read when he plays video games and watches sports (my BF is big into hockey and all the guys come over every week to watch). He’s great about it though, he knows that when I’m in a depressed mood taking me to the bookstore will always make me happy.

  58. First off I have to say, you two are so adorable together, and your wedding picture is PHENOMENAL. Both of you look so gorgeous for the big day!

    Will’s part of the post made me lol!

    I’ve only been in one relationship where my S.O. was a reader, and he was not nearly as much of one as I was. I think in a span of 6 months I only saw him finish what I probably would have gone through in a span of three weeks. He didn’t have as much free time as I did and at least he *did* read, but it usually didn’t bring about much good conversation either (bummer, I know). Most of the other relationships I’ve been in… I don’t think those people ever picked up a book voluntarily. While it’s not a dealbreaker, it would have been nice to share that hobby with someone, so I could share fantastic books with them and talk about them and know that overall they were pursuing educating themselves further, on *something* or anything.

  59. My boyfriend is a holiday reader. He never has the patience to read only on the beach. He lets me pick his books for those but I really have to give him credit for the fact that he can buy books for me and his mum who is an avid reader too. He always finds books that we picked up a hundred times but never bought because of the number of reasons one can muster up not to buy a book.
    If we go shopping I never have to ask to go into a bookstore he goes into them and roams along always curious how I pick my books and if he is home and I get bookish mail he will send me a message to make my day brighter because he knows it makes me happy.

    He indeed loves to play video games and can play them for hours. The only thing he does not like is when I am still reading when he goes to bed and I am not joining because of the book.

  60. I love this post! My husband isn’t a reader, even though I’ve bought him some books in the *hopes* that he may pick it up. Since I began blogging and reading more voraciously, it’s actually been kind of nice. He’s kind of like Will — he’ll watch his sports and I’ll read, or he’ll fall asleep early and I’ll read. It just works for us! And when I get a book in the mail, he always messes with me, threatening to open it before I get to … and he never complains about me having too many books or always buying more. πŸ™‚ AND I already have 5 bookcases and he’s already mapped out a plan for when I need new ones.

    I do think that when baby is born he’ll start reading, but he’s pretty convinced that baby will outread him at some point … At least he’ll try! πŸ™‚ I did buy him a hockey board book to read to baby, so that should be exciting!

    Great post!

  61. My partner is not a reader at all – the occassional DJ magazine is about as far as he goes into the written word. But that’s completely OK because as you say, having your own interests is really important in a relationship.

    Although I always joke about sneaking more books into the house and hoping he won’t notice, he’s never told me I have too many books, or I need to get rid of any – he just makes suggestions on more appropriate places to store them πŸ˜‰

    Plus he can watch all the sport he wants on TV and I encourage it, so I can read interrupted!

  62. I love this post so much! Being married to a non-reader myself I can definitely relate! Every now and then he will read with me, but gives up after a chapter or two. I love when we read together, but I also love when I can have my own reading time. He knows how much my books mean to me and doesn’t get in between me and my reading time.

  63. Aww I loved this and it was too cute! My husband is also a non-reader, although to be fair he kinda tries to be. Mostly, he begs me to buy him books… that he PROMISES to read… that end up collecting dust on his bedside table. Overall, it isn’t too bad and he posses many of the same qualities you listed. Minus, that he has NO problem interrupting my reading! The one thing I like is he has his hobby. (Gaming) and I have mine, which means he is allowed to do his while I do mine and neither one of us complains that the other is spending too much time playing or reading.

  64. This is perfect. My boyfriend isn’t a reader… we’ve had some arguments sometimes, mostly because I feel he doesn’t understand why I love books, and that he is demeaning of my hobby…
    BUT he says he likes that I read for similar reasons to Will’s.
    I have also read some books to him, which he loves and is fun for me as well!

  65. I love this post! Marshall was totally not a reader while we were dating or even really since we got married, but he is slooooowly coming around. I recommended a book to him (that I haven’t even read yet) that he enjoyed, and now I’ve got him reading the Sandman graphic novels, hoping to move him up AP Neil Gaiman in the future. He borrows books about wars and chess from other guys at his fire station, so he’s probably been reading behind my back for longer than I know.
    He definitely doesn’t understand why I read as much as I do. He thinks everything is about teenage vampires (I should have never shown him the Vampire Academy books, what with their hilarious titles!) and doesn’t get why I want to “ignore him” all the time…don’t you know I could be watching him play a golf game on xbox? I’m convinced he’s secretly a million years old.
    Marshall likes to complain about how much room my bookshelves take up, but he keeps building them when I need them, so it’s his own fault haha! Maybe I should take the floor pile approach to make him appreciate the bookshelves more.

  66. As usual, you nailed it with this one! My long-time BF isn’t a reader but I don’t mind at all because not only do I not have to worry about him judging my reading tastes (couldn’t imagine dating a lit SNOB!), but it also makes the few times he picks up a book to read (which is like, the equivalent of Haley’s comet) WAY special — I’m talking “let me snap a pic of this on my iPhone because I can’t believe I’m watching you read right now.” And I also love that along the way he’s come to recognize my favorite authors and points them out or even shares little book facts he’s heard somewhere because he thinks I’d be interested.

    We sure are some lucky ladies!! ^_^

  67. My husband is a reader. And I like that about him, but even if he wasn’t, it wouldn’t change our life that much. Though I do appreciate that sometimes he’ll say things like “hey, do you want to go to [somewhere nice outdoors] and read?” Plus since I work at the library, I always pick up his books for him and it’s fun to see what he’s decided to read next.

    For those with non-reader husbands/wives/partners/SOs, it seems the most important quality is that they enjoy shared time together as well as having space to do their/your own thing.

  68. Great post! My husband is not really a reader either. It bothers me sometimes because I’ll read books that I really think he’ll like (I’ve been bugging him to read Harry Potter for 3 years!), but he’s pretty good about it most of the time. He does get mad sometimes when I want to read and not do anything else, or when I get sick of him talking to me when I’m trying to read! But for the most part, he’s okay with it. He’ll listen when I talk about my books, even if he really doesn’t care, and he’s really great about taking me to movies that are based on books (I even got him to take me to see BD2!) Last winter, he read several books, which really got me excited, but then he didn’t read anything for a good 8 months. However, he just picked up the Wizard of Oz series after watching Oz the Great and Powerful, all on his own! Like you said, it’s good that he’s not buying all of the books like I am, but it would be nice sometimes to have someone IRL to talk to about my book obsessions. The only other avid reader in my life is my MIL, and we read very different books most of the time. *sigh*

  69. Great post! I can totally relate to it. My bf is not a reader, other than being a Tolkien snob. When I read, he is usually watching a tv show I don’t like, on his computer, or playing a videogame/computer game. Or sleeping…I just looked over at him and he is passed out with the cat sleeping on him πŸ™‚

    It’s nice because we can both be doing our own things in the same room, so we’re together but not bored doing something only one of us likes. It works πŸ™‚

  70. I love this post so much and it’s totally irrelevant to my life. I’d like to hope some day I’ll date/marry a reader, but this makes me think it’d be okay if that didn’t happen. Of course, it’s more likely I’ll be a crazy cat lady which is fine because my cats don’t ever judge my books, either! You and Will seem super adorable! I’m glad it works out for you both!

  71. You know, I have to agree – it really isn’t that bad being with a non-reader. Matt & I have been together a few years & like I mentioned in Estelle’s post, I’ve seen him read MAYBE a handful of books – and he has yet to finish one!

    When I was younger having my future husband be a reader was SUPER HIGH on my list. Having been with a non-reader for a while, I have to admit, it truly isn’t a bad thing. Sure I’d LOVE to swap books with him, but it’s nice that we have something that’s just ours – I get to have my alone time with a book and he has his own hobbies.

    & like you mentioned, we can be together and be near one another while still totally doing our own thing. πŸ™‚

  72. LOL I have so much love for this post! Christopher reads but definitely not to the extent that I do. I think it’s important to have separate hobbies so you can learn more about the other’s and grow.

  73. So cute. Yes it would suck to have to share shelf space because my wife and I are both avid readers and we wrestle with that all the time. We bought our current house, mmmmostly, because it has floor to ceiling shelves in the living room and a library ladder to reach the top shelf which is amazing except that they are all full of awesomeness already.

  74. Let me start by saying that I love this blog post. This is why you are a stellar book blogger. You bring life to your blog through your personality and your stories. This post reminded me so much of my relationship with my husband. When I met him 12 years ago he was the furthest thing from a reader as you can imagine. His idea of a great night was playing video games at home in the basement. In fact, when we started dating 7 years ago his parents were ecstatic because I “brought their son out of the basement and into the light”. Ha Ha. I was convinced that I would turn him into a reader. 6 years later- D. still refused to pick up a book. We are so similar to you and your husband. We sit on the couch together and I read while he plays his video games. Last year he discovered the Game of Thrones TV show and he was determined to read the series to find out more. I was shocked when he got through them all this year. I have tried to read that book a few times and it’s too daunting even for me. Give me YA any day. After he was done with the series I was surprised to hear him ask me if we could go to the book store to pick out a new book. I have to say that I am excited that he does read more. He even read BZRK by Michael Grant recently and he has been the one hounding me to pick it up and read it. So, while your husband doesn’t read, never lose hope that he will. Anything is possible and it just takes the right book to peak his interest. πŸ™‚

  75. I really do adore this post! You and Will are so cute (and you can tell him I said that). I like how you were able to lay out both the pros and cons of your situation being married to a non-reader, and that you let Will get a word in too!

    My significant other – Macky – is definitely a reader, but a picky one. It’s made for some interesting conversations since I read 100 books to his 10 books. When he’s passionate about a book or author though, he’s completely throwing himself into the world + characters + stories! I love that he understands my need to buy books > anything else, and that he will let me have my time to read and do what I like. He gets it. Completely. And I love that. I don’t think I would be able to marry someone who didn’t like reading!

  76. I loved reading this post – such a good idea! It’s always interesting to see how others react to/interact with those of us who read so much, especially family since we’re usually around them the most, so I really appreciated the perspective you provided here. That’s great that you’re able to see the positives in being married to a non-reader; I think many of us readers assume that would be a terrible thing, but obviously there are quite a few pros that can be associated with it as well!
    I met my boyfriend in college and he wasn’t really a reader then (I wasn’t either, really, outside of class – I still loved reading but didn’t have the time). But since we graduated, and especially since I started my blog, I’ve been reading a ton more. And I’ve actually got him to start reading at night as well. The best part of all about him being willing to read is that I get to help him select what book to read next.

  77. Oh my God, I love you for this post. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, lived together for three of them, and I’ve maybe seen him pick up three books (never finished any of them) in the time we’ve been together, and 2 of those 3 books were uber political non-fiction books (snooze fest to me). I, on the other hand, am always reading and constantly complaining about my lack of bookshelf space because i have SO MANY BOOKS. My mom was also surprised that I would date someone like Chris who doesn’t read AT ALL, but I feel like it works out for us, too. If we BOTH read as much as I do, we would never speak to each other or do things, and that wouldn’t be much of a fun relationship…or a relationship in general. If it wasn’t for him not reading, I’d probably never get dragged out of my house and told to “put the book down!” and live life a little. So I think that’s important. Also, Chris agreed wholeheartedly with your hubby’s list of downfalls to being married to a booknerd, especially the one where I have to drag him into every store that even so much as has a book in the window πŸ™‚ Long comment short, I loved this post!

  78. Hahaha! My Hubby is so not a reader, but he does get excited when I get bookish mail. He goes, “OMG, Steph! This is the one you’ve been waiting for!” And we jump up and down together for a minute while the children watch their parents having a silly moment. I know he’s not really as excited as me, but he knows how important reading and blogging is to me. Ad he loves seeing me get so excited.

    More recently though, he’s expressed interest in trying to bond over the blog by managing the blog’s server. And he wants to teach me how to do it. At first, I was all, “Dude. What? NO.” But I think it’s nice that he wants to try and understand more about my hobby and attempt to bond over it. It’s really sweet.

    Great post, Jamie!

  79. Awwww, I love this post!! And you guys look so cute together! πŸ™‚
    My boyfriend is a sometimes reader. His mom tells me he used to read a lot as a kid, but since reaching puberty he’s sort of given up on it and now I’m slowly trying to get him back into it. The good thing is that he likes fantasy like me and it’s funny that when he really likes a series he’ll read it in no time at all, but he can also just put the book away for a couple of MONTHS and then come back to it later. I will conquer this non-reading habits πŸ™‚
    He’s totally supportive of mine, even when I told him I couldn’t go out with him and his friends because I was doing Dewey’s read-a-thon. He makes dinner when I’m just about to finish my book or things are EXCITING and mostly just laughs a bit at my antics. Also: when I go crazy at a booksale he just shakes his head and then carries my books out to the car πŸ˜€

  80. What a cute post! I hope you’re as happy as you look in your pictures!

    I’m married to a reader–but he reads completely different stuff than I do. (i.e. non-fiction about children in North Korea.) He’s always recommending things for me to read, and I’m always saying (in as nice a way as I possibly can) “But I don’t like reality.” Still, it has its perks–when I do give in and read the books he suggests, it really enlarges my world view–and I learn something new!

  81. LOVE LOVE LOVE this post so so so much! Awwww, poor Will, I love that you let him speak up, and his answers CRACKED me up.

    My SO is a reader but she’s more apt to get really into a book every now and then, then read casually the rest of the time, whereas I’m like THE FEELS OH I CAN’T EVEN so often. lol. So I think we’re a good match to sort of balance each other out, because we do both have lots of other interests that will give each of us reading time.

    I was with a guy awhile back who read…one book the entire time we were together (about two years.) It was weird – I always felt uncomfortable being SO geeky over books because he just didn’t get it. I’m glad Will does, and is so good with putting up with you! lol. *hugs*

  82. This post is perfect! I’ve never really thought about it much because it just works for us so easily, but this is definitely my husband and me. In fact, I’m pretty sure there is nothing I could add to this post at all. It’s so important to find someone who will support you, in whatever it is you enjoy. Don’t give up your hobbies for someone else. I, personally, am so much happier and a better spouse when I get some time to myself to do something I enjoy. And my husband is too.
    Also, I can totally relate to your #booknerd chat comment and my husband can relate to Will’s sleeping on books comment. Loved it all! Thanks for sharing πŸ™‚

  83. I love this post! What a great, fun idea. When I met my hubs, he was definitely a non-reader. After a decade (tomorrow) of being together, he reads now, not often, not consistently, but he will occasionally find books at the bookstore and sometimes he will read before bed, he’s started taking books when he travels for work and gets bored (no ESPN) and has actually finished a few. When I comment that I wish he read more, he reminds me he read 100 books in kindergarten and I didn’t until last year. I forwarded him your post.

  84. Hahaha, I really enjoyed this post. I like how you guys found a way to make it work. It seems like a really healthy relationship πŸ™‚ I don’t have a significant other, so… haha, no one gets any say in any of my bookish habits. But we’ll see. I’m guessing that’ll change… someday.

  85. I love your post! What a great idea and a very interesting topic. My husband reads occasionally but not very often. He is more of a video game kind of guy. Like you, we both consider it spending time together when I’m reading next to him while he is playing video games. It is nice and peaceful and no one gets interrupted, and who doesn’t love snuggling while reading? I wish he would read more, but in the end it doesn’t bother me. He respects my reading time and lets me walk into every bookstore we pass. So I pretty much know exactly where you are coming from. You two are a very cute couple! πŸ™‚

  86. Being a reader is DEFINITELY on my must haves list. The reason why is because reading is a HUGE part of my life. HUGE. I want to become a librarian someday, and I just don’t think I could share a life with a guy who scoffed at my love for reading and never bothered to pick up a book. Seriously, it would kill me inside, especially since I love to talk literature and I would hate being with someone I could not share that with. However, I’m glad that your relationship with Will works out so well even though he isn’t a reader! πŸ™‚

  87. I have loved reading these posts between your blogs. My husband is a reader… but what I like about reading yours is that I wonder if this is how my mom feels with my dad. He doesn’t read and she must’ve found something else enjoyable in him. They have been married 40 years today!

  88. I have the best of both worlds in a way, I guess. Hubby’s a reader, but not a reader – reader. He enjoys reading occasionally, but no where even remotely close to us! I think he’d rather cut off his hand than go to a midnight book release on his own. Now, if I asked him to go with me, he probably would! He enjoys watching tv at night before we go to bed. I don’t, so I read. We have a nice system (: He does occasionally tease me about reading. On our vacation two weeks ago I was on THE LAST PAGE as we pulled into his parents’ driveway and I would NOT NOT NOT get out until I finished it and he laughed at me as he unbuckled our son from his carseat while I finished. Hey, it was one less thing we had to carry in! With two small kids, we have ENOUGH to cart around as it is haha. It was a library book otherwise it would’ve been on my kindle. He does give me space when I’m reading though and I love him for it. Oh, and I’m totally with you on taking books to NASCAR. I did. And I totally didn’t touch my book while I was there. It was actually more fun than I thought. I had too much fun listening to the crews on the radio scanner hubby rented hoping it’d make my experience a little more interesting. Plus we live near the Bristol Motor Speedway so it’s like wreck city 99% of the time. I don’t want drivers to get hurt, but watching cars scatter is fun! (:

  89. I know every comment before mine has said something along these lines, but THIS IS MY LIFE. Seriously, I pretty much read this entire post to my boyfriend and he sort of listened and thought it was funny (he was playing games, so it’s cool). Moments that I was like YES while reading this post:

    “I can lay right next to him and read when he plays video games and, even though we are in our own zones, we are still THERE next to each other and it feels like we are spending time together”

    ” It’s extra special & romantic to me when he buys me a book for my birthday”

    “It lets me have my own THING.”

    Also, I can relate to other people not getting why we work. People think it’s so strange that Ben and I work because they think we don’t have anything in common. We were actually talking about it the other day, and Ben was saying we do have it in common, just in different mediums. He loves playing sci-fi and fantasy games and I love reading YA books with sci-fi and fantasy themes. We can talk to each other about our nerdy hobbies, even if we don’t share them. Obviously, we have other things in common, but that’s how we can each do our own things and still share it.

    Something that’s an interesting new development in our relationship is that Ben started working in the corporate office of a chain bookseller, so we can talk about the book industry together. He doesn’t read, but he really knows the industry and, since I’m in library school, I know another side of it. It’s allowed us to have some interesting conversations and some new interests in common.


    • Exactly! Those were the points I identified the most with too. I totally get the thing about liking the same genre but in different mediums. My fiancΓ© likes to play WoW and I like to read the same sort of thing.

  90. While I’m starting to convert my boyfriend (World War Z has him entertained, yes!), he also loves to drive his mustang. When he says “want to go for a cruise?” it translates to “want to have a couple hours of reading time and pretty scenery?” πŸ˜€ But seriously, I can’t read any horror at all, but I bought World War Z (the book) for him because he likes zombies and thought the movie looked cool. He’s like half way through! This poses a problem because I will never be able to vet horror books for him, so we might hit some duds, but I never thought I’d get him to read fiction at all, haha.

  91. I’m late to the party but I just read Estelle’s post and had to come check out yours because my bf does not read either! We’ve been together 7 years and he has not read a book since high school which is a while for him. It does puzzle me, but it doesn’t bother me because like Will, he has his computer/video games, so we’re both in the same room but we both have things we enjoy.

    I know he feels the same way about constantly wanting to go look at books and he often tries to steer me away (I have too many books!!) and I know he doesn’t get why I read, but he’s cool with it and always puts together new bookcases for me πŸ˜‰

  92. LOL! I LOVED Will’s answers. What a great idea for a post. At 33 I’ve never been married but I’m sure you can guess that I’ve dated quite a bit. The man I am with now (our fifth year dating anniversary is this month, we’ve been engaged for three years too), is actually a READER. This is the first time I’ve ever dated a reader. It’s a nice change. He is not a bookworm though – he doesn’t care about format and reads less than 10 books a year (sometimes up to 15), and reading is something he occasionally does. BUT he loves that I read. He grew up with his mom reading constantly. He only wants to date women who read. He’s completely supportive of book buying, bookshelves, and my love of books. Awesome to find πŸ™‚

  93. Haha this is so great! I’m glad you reshared it on Twitter today. πŸ™‚ My fiance is not really a reader (he doesn’t have anything against it; he just doesn’t usually choose it over other activities), but I brought home a bunch of Clive Cussler books the other day and he has been reading in bed with me every night now! It’s great. πŸ™‚

  94. I too have a Will! He is mostly not a reader, so I was pretty surprised when he decided to read The Hunger Games trilogy (before the movie came out)! I kept telling him that Divergent was even cooler, so he has read Divergent and Insurgent (and then he talked some about some 4 issues he has – I can’t remember what) and he’s reading Allegiant now. Of course, I am a speed reader and he is a slow reader, so that can be annoying sometimes, but it might be nice to read slower and remember better . . .

  95. It made my WEEK that I saw this post!! I have a Will, and I, too, used to be a snobby girl with a must-have list!!! Of course “loves reading” was on that list. Thank god my “Will” came along. Basically every single thing you said here applies to us! Snuggling while I read and he plays video games or watches F1 races or baseball highlights? EVERY DAY. It’s almost better to me that he doesn’t read so that I have SO MUCH to teach him about! In turn, he has so much to tell me about sports and music and all his equally important hobbies (though all the “teaching” in the world won’t make me good at FIFA).

    Anyway, so much win in this post, I can’t stand it!! Thanks so much for sharing! Also, you two are freaking adorable!

  96. This. Is. My. Life. In the six years I’ve known my husband, he’s read ONE book. One. And only because he had a job at the time that consisted of a lot of sitting and doing nothing. He’s a workout guru, so I have plenty of reading/blogging time while he’s in the gym, so it actually works out pretty well for us.

    Your “how it works’ list? Yes. Spot on. (Except while he drives–we always have our best/funniest conversations in the car.) Although I doubt he’d be willing to stand in a signing line with me, but he is more than okay with letting me take the besties to do that job, and they are actually excited about it, so that probably is for the better.

    I absolutely adored this post! Good to know I’m not the only avid reader/blogger with a non-reader husband!

  97. My fiancΓ©e is not really a reader. When he was younger he read a lot of Terry Pratchett and stuff like that but now he doesn’t get much chance to read as he’s always so busy. He prefers to spend his time playing WoW or watching DVDs anyway. But I’m totally cool with it. He puts up with a lot, if I’m honest. He lets me rave on about books and authors I’m into, has to sleep with my light on while I’m reading, gets dragged along to see movies based on books that he hates (eg. The Host) and has to keep buying and building bookcases and shelves. He does bemoan the amount of books I have cluttering up the house (especially now I have a Kindle), but I just remind him of his extensive and space-consuming DVD collection. The best thing is that he is open-minded and actually enjoys me reading to him while he relaxes, so I’ve managed to introduce him to all the Harry Potter books, The Hunger Games series and some of Daughter of Smoke and Bone that way and he’s now pretty into them.

  98. Oh my goodness. I just read this post for the first time, dunno HOW I missed it! This made me smile SO HARD. My boyfriend and I are pretty much the exact same way. I will give mine some credit where its due–he does read the occasional book, but he is nowhere near as into reading as I am. I always thought I’d HAVE to be with someone who reads, but you know what, I am perfectly content with my (mostly) non-reader. You hit the nail on the head–it is nice to have my OWN thing, but also a thing that I can partake in while he is doing HIS thing (playing video games or watching sports). And he is very supportive of my reading habit. I think the amount of books I own intimidates him, but he does sweet things, like the time he bought me Doctor Sleep on its release day as a surprise or like when he graciously joins me when I decide I HAVE to go to a bookstore.

    ANYWAY, this was a very cute post, and now I’m feeling all fuzzy. So glad I caught this post in your feature on Brittany’s blog!

  99. I just found this post via The Book Addict’s guide. As a reader married to a nonreader, I absolutely loved this post! “Nonreader” was definitely on my list of dealbreakers, but what can I say, my husband won me over. I will say that in the last couple of years I’ve managed to make him an “occasional” reader, so there is always hope! He read (and loved!) the Hunger Games series and Divergent, and he just started Unwind recently. I told him Harry Potter is next. It’s weird because he NEVER “feels like” reading, but when he actually does sit down and read for a while he enjoys it. (Granted, he has read 4.5 books in like 4 years haha. But I’ll take it!)

    Lately we’ve been trying to trim our budget because I just finished grad school and now I’m job hunting, and he mentioned that we maaaaaybe spend a little too much money on dinner dates. I responded that I’d consider reading together a great “date” and it’s free – and he went for it! So we are going to start reading together once or twice a week, just for thirty minutes or an hour. I’m dorkily overjoyed to be able to talk about some of my favorite books with him… but if it doesn’t end up really working out, I’ll deal. He enriches my life in a lot of other ways, and he’s very supportive of my reading and blogging. I’m also writing a book myself and he happily read that and gave me feedback. So I really can’t complain!

  100. It really wasn’t a big deal to me that the guy I’m dating didn’t like books…when we first began talking I spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON GOODREADS AND ENTERING GIVEAWAYS and since then I’ve almost completely cut back on that because ultimately I was missing so much of life outside the book blogging community. But at the time, I spent a ton of time on that and he still would chat with me about that, which was great. I guess that endeared me to him even if we didn’t share the same passion. He got a Goodreads account to keep track of the books he’s read for school and the very few books he’s ever read he’s enjoyed (which means I believe there’s still hope for him!). But honestly if he isn’t a reader I don’t mind and these perks actually do seem pretty nice… πŸ™‚ I’m trying to convince him to read this book he HAS TO READ because it’s soooooo good and I just know he will love it so wish me luck!

    Marie @ Marie’s Bookworm Blog

  101. Thank you for this post! Not only did it totally strike a chord with my own life, it made me also realize how okay it is to have different interests and not be married to a reader. Your story could have been my own! Me and my husband have been married 5 years, and I don’t think he has read a book while we’ve been married. He reads legal jargon all day long and the last thing he ever wants to do is read something… but I just snuggle in with him on the couch as he watches sports. πŸ™‚ I agree… perfect husbands!

  102. The boyfriend is not a reader, but I am. I read him this whole post and he agreed with basically everything that Will said. (except we don’t watch movies, like ever.)

    I’ve learned that if I want the boyfriend to read a book, I have to read it to him. Which I’ve been doing a lot lately.

  103. I just stumbled across this post while looking around your blog, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I just started my blog a few weeks ago and my long-term boyfriend constantly jokes I’m going to leave him for the blog. He isn’t a reader; he’s purchased books and started them, but can never seem to finish them. He’s never in the mood to read (I’m always in the mood to read). The part about reading during video games is exactly what we do! It’s been perfect so far. He enjoys having some free time while I read, but I think sometimes he gets upset that I get frustrated when he’s trying to chat as I read. He feels inadequate at times because of my reading and his lack thereof. Sharing this post with him will surely put a smile on his face. So glad to see it when I did! Thank you πŸ™‚ Oh, and I love your blog in general too.

  104. From reading your post, now I really want to date a non-reader just for these reasons alone. I already know that a lot of my guy friends make fun of me for reading, and yes, they tend to remember authors and books that I talk about a lot. My best guy friend Connor even asked about BEA one day, and I honestly wanted to hug him because I had no idea that he was even listening to me when I was talking about it with him.

    One thing about this post that I can’t seem to forget: You have a monthly book budget. Oh my god that is probably the best thing I’ve ever heard of. I don’t know why I didn’t think about it. I basically just have a “save this much” and “spend this much” budget as well as “this much goes toward your Spotify and website domain.” Maybe I really should work a book budget into there so I don’t feel as bad when I spend over $30 on books from Book Outlet… Oh well…

    Anyway, Will honestly seems like the best. It’s great that you found someone who, although doesn’t share the same interest as you, gets excited for you when you’re excited. That’s the best (:

    Great post!

  105. “It’s extra special & romantic to me when he buys me a book for my birthday because it means a) he listens to me when I go on and on about books and can identify authors I rave about often”

    I agree on this so much. I am not married yet, but if my future husband is a non-reader (which seems to be most likely since none of the guys I’m currently acquainted to read books like I do), I would find this romantic. It means that he pays attention to my favourite hobby and actually appreciates me for who I am (and that means, my hobby again). Seriously, the best gift you can buy for your reader-wife is a book.


  1. […] and then I was in love. The blog that actually inspired me to start blogging was Jamie’s (Β ) – I highly advise you check it out and then one day I did it, I spent a day setting it up, […]

  2. […] at The Perpetual Page-Turner wrote about being married to a non-reader. I totally understand. I live with one. Actually, reading that post made me think that Jamie and I […]

  3. […] few weeks ago, I read an interesting post over at Perpetual Page Turner about being married to a non-reader. The more I thought about it as I read, I thought about doing […]

  4. […] a while back Jamie at The Perpetual Page-Turner wrote this amazing post about being married to a non-reader. She pointed out the good and the bad and let her husband write […]

  5. […] and such seems to be the host of this survey, The Perpetual Page-Turner. She has a post about being married to a non-reader, about losing her mother (which resulted in a very personal review for Second Chance Summer) […]

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  7. […] romanceΒ + Jamie teamed up with me to talk about our husbands and the state of their reading. Will is not a reader. Jamie did a great […]

  8. […] really conversation-inducing discussions. HMM but one of my favorite and most popular posts ever is Being Married To A Non-Reader — a post that went hand in hand with Estelle’s experience being married to a reader […]

  9. […] Get Will to read 1 book — I’ve already talked about why being married to a non-reader isn’t as bad as you may think BUT that doesn’t mean I don’t want him to give reading a chance. I WILL get him to read […]

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  11. […] Kara on her list of Blogger BFF’s during the 15 Day Book Blogger Challenge. Jamie at The Perpetual Page Turner talks about being married to a non-reader. I can relate to some of this. Dan is not a […]

  12. […] Kara on her list of Blogger BFF’s during the 15 Day Book Blogger Challenge. Jamie at The Perpetual Page Turner talks about being married to a non-reader. I can relate to some of this. Dan is not a […]

  13. […] husband is the best kind of non-reading bookish husband you can ask for. He’s supportive of this massive hobby of mine, listens to me babble on and […]

  14. […] at The Perpetual Page-Turner wrote about being married to a non-reader. I totally understand. I live with one. Actually, reading that post made me think that Jamie and I […]

  15. […] How is married life treating you? GOOD! Things have been rough externally for us but I feel like we’ve kept it together and weathered these storms together. Just having a lot of fun in the midst of layoffs and other not fun things. […]

  16. […] a while back Jamie at The Perpetual Page-Turner wrote this amazing post about being married to a non-reader. She pointed out the good and the bad and let her husband write […]

  17. […] a while back Jamie at The Perpetual Page-Turner wrote this amazing post about being married to a non-reader. She pointed out the good and the bad and let her husband write […]