I’ve been really honest with you guys about where I’ve been at this year — I’ve been feeling lost in this year of unemployment, directionless and frankly very unbalanced in life — which involves this blog and a possible other passion project I’ve been working on.
I’ve honestly feel like I’ve hit this brick wall and I can’t figure a way to get around it, through it or over it. I just feel stuck — more than I ever have in my entire life and, at this point, I’m letting myself just be tossed about by the waves of life. It’s a really terrible feeling.
So I decided I need to shake it up. Do something different to break through that wall. I couldn’t figure out what until I got this amazing opportunity from a blog I follow daily. It was outside of my comfort zone. I was excited but nervous. I wasn’t altogether sold on the idea but figured I’d be open because how could it hurt? So what did I do?
I spent 3 hours on Skype with a life coach. Now, before you think “oh this is SO not for me” and close this tab, hear me out.
A little background:
I’ve always been the type that is skeptical of these kinds of things. I love having great conversations with people in my life and find it to be really helpful in my life to work things out like that. But I’ve always been of the mind to just figure it out myself. I never went to any sort of therapy or anything after my mom passed away. I just said, “Self. You can figure this out on your own.” I never ever would have thought I would need to enlist the help of a life coach. Ever. It didn’t really make sense to me until I found myself in a position where I was at a complete standstill in life and that was just unacceptable to me.
So what was this experience like?
Amazing in one word. I worked with Ashley, the blogger behind one of my favorite blogs called Your Super Awesome Life, and I felt so energized and excited after our session. We chatted on Skype for 3 hours and I thought it would be slightly awkward but I’m telling you Ashley made it seem like I was chatting with a bff about life and dreams and hopes…all something I would do with my friends. But the difference? Ashley has a counseling background and her questions and steering of the conversation really gave me a lot to think about and left me feeling empowered. I met with a friend for coffee later that day and even was telling her something that Ashley shared with me that made SO MUCH SENSE and my friend even ended up writing it down to help her in her struggle with doubt in her new business venture.
What did we talk about:
– Before we Skyped I was to fill out a questionnaire of sorts. I got to rank my level of satisfaction with different areas of my life, talk about the 3 goals I really wanted to work on, things that made me the most happy/unhappy, etc. It helped her to get to know me and what I wanted to make the session really focused.
– The things I wanted to talk about with her: figuring out what I wanted to do career-wise, figuring out how to regain some balance (talked a lot about this blog vs. a new passion project I have) and working on some of these self crippling and self defeating attitudes which I realized really affected the first two things. Seriously. I couldn’t even imagined how there was this pattern of them affecting all these things in my life.
– I consider myself a VERY self aware person. I know my flaws, my strengths, my weaknesses, the habits I have, the reasons I DO things and know where I want to BE in life but Ashley really gave me a lot to think about. You see, I could know all these things and KNOW what I want but I have a really hard time getting there. I struggle with actualization of these things so we really talked about some of the things holding me back in my job search, in letting go of certain things in my life, etc. Identifying these things and saying them out loud was really, really helpful. I needed to get out of my own head and Ashley asked all the right questions to help me get in the right direction. I’m learning to see what you might call your “inner critic” as a good and a bad thing. The dots that Ashley was able to connect opened my eyes to how some of my self doubt and fear really run far deeper than I could have imagined.
– I was sad our conversation was over because it FLEW but I felt confident with the action plans she had given me and the tools that she had shared with me to help some of my problems — largely very inward things like self doubt, lack of confidence as a result of this time of unemployment, fear, holding on to things even when they don’t work, etc. All those things really affect WHY I couldn’t take action in two very important areas.
So did it work?
I think you have to think about WHAT you are looking to get out of this and what your expectations of a life coach or. Did I come out with a clear THIS IS GOING TO BE MY CAREER PATH? No, but I felt like I really thought out what things make me happy and feel fulfilled and now I can take that into my job search with me. My action plan had more to do with this passion project I’ve been talking about and I feel the most energized about that because we also realized that THAT could make me feel very whole even if I don’t have the DREAM JOB that is super satisfying. I wasn’t looking to Ashley to FIX all my problems but to get out of my own head so I could see things differently, help me identify the things that were holding me back and looking for some guidance in HOW to change things because what I was doing wasn’t helping. You have to go in with specific goals that you want to work on.
Should YOU consider a session with a life coach?
So, the answer to that question would depend on the next few questions you should ask yourself:
Do you have specific goals you want to achieve but don’t know how to get started? Do you feel stuck? Unmotivated or uninspired? Unable to move forward or let something go? Do you feel like you have dreams but don’t know how to make them a reality?
– Wanting to start a business but you are too afraid/don’t know how to make it a reality, etc. (Ashley QUIT her job to make her own business — big leap of faith in herself so SHE KNOWS this one well).
– Wanting to start a new project but need direction, motivation, little action steps, etc.
– Trying to lose weight (seriously, she was telling me how she’s helped people with the mental barriers they’ve put up, action plans to help them succeed, identifying WHY they struggle etc.)
– Having an idea for a book but feel overwhelmed by even starting it — she will HELP you break things up, help you remove your self doubt, etc.
– Career change
– Letting fear/lack of self confidence/self doubt etc. etc. holding you back in general in life — she will help you work through that. Trust me on that one because I feel so equipped now.
– Taking that dream you have and helping you not just DREAM about it but putting the stepping stones to doing it.
– How to live the life you want, how to be inspired again, etc.
If any of those things sound like you…I’d HIGHLY recommend it. There’s a million more things you could talk with her about and I highly suggest it.
I’m feeling more confident, motivated and like some of the things I want are ACTUALLY attainable — they aren’t just these daunting things that I’ll never start because I don’t know how to take the first step.
If any of those sound like you I’d say ABSOLUTELY do this. Invest in yourself. You might think WOW that’s a good chunk of change to spend talking to someone and not knowing if it will work but it’s a lot about how you see that investment and what you want out of it. Ashley knows her stuff. I can only speak for her, since obviously this was my first time, but I would certainly schedule an appointment with her again when I feel like I need to because I saw my session as very successful for what I personally needed.
And if you don’t necessarily feel like this is for you right now or ever…I still HIGHLY recommend checking out her inspiring blog.
What about you guys..have any of you ever worked with a life coach? Are you interested/curious? What are your reservations? I’d love to talk to you guys about what YOU would want to work on with a life coach…what are you struggling with/want to change?
* Full disclosure: I received this opportunity in exchange for discussing it on my blog after speaking with Ashley. All of these opinions were 100% my own and would be the same had I paid for this…I can promise you that. She gave no guidelines of what to talk about just that I’d talk about my experience. I’m extremely humbled by her generosity in letting this broke and unemployed chick have this opportunity. When I get a job, I AM saving up to do another session.*