I’ve been really honest with you guys about where I’ve been at this year — I’ve been feeling lost in this year of unemployment, directionless and frankly very unbalanced in life — which involves this blog and a possible other passion project I’ve been working on.
I’ve honestly feel like I’ve hit this brick wall and I can’t figure a way to get around it, through it or over it. I just feel stuck — more than I ever have in my entire life and, at this point, I’m letting myself just be tossed about by the waves of life. It’s a really terrible feeling.
So I decided I need to shake it up. Do something different to break through that wall. I couldn’t figure out what until I got this amazing opportunity from a blog I follow daily. It was outside of my comfort zone. I was excited but nervous. I wasn’t altogether sold on the idea but figured I’d be open because how could it hurt? So what did I do?
I spent 3 hours on Skype with a life coach. Now, before you think “oh this is SO not for me” and close this tab, hear me out.
A little background:
I’ve always been the type that is skeptical of these kinds of things. I love having great conversations with people in my life and find it to be really helpful in my life to work things out like that. But I’ve always been of the mind to just figure it out myself. I never went to any sort of therapy or anything after my mom passed away. I just said, “Self. You can figure this out on your own.” I never ever would have thought I would need to enlist the help of a life coach. Ever. It didn’t really make sense to me until I found myself in a position where I was at a complete standstill in life and that was just unacceptable to me.
So what was this experience like?
Amazing in one word. I worked with Ashley, the blogger behind one of my favorite blogs called Your Super Awesome Life, and I felt so energized and excited after our session. We chatted on Skype for 3 hours and I thought it would be slightly awkward but I’m telling you Ashley made it seem like I was chatting with a bff about life and dreams and hopes…all something I would do with my friends. But the difference? Ashley has a counseling background and her questions and steering of the conversation really gave me a lot to think about and left me feeling empowered. I met with a friend for coffee later that day and even was telling her something that Ashley shared with me that made SO MUCH SENSE and my friend even ended up writing it down to help her in her struggle with doubt in her new business venture.
What did we talk about:
– Before we Skyped I was to fill out a questionnaire of sorts. I got to rank my level of satisfaction with different areas of my life, talk about the 3 goals I really wanted to work on, things that made me the most happy/unhappy, etc. It helped her to get to know me and what I wanted to make the session really focused.
– The things I wanted to talk about with her: figuring out what I wanted to do career-wise, figuring out how to regain some balance (talked a lot about this blog vs. a new passion project I have) and working on some of these self crippling and self defeating attitudes which I realized really affected the first two things. Seriously. I couldn’t even imagined how there was this pattern of them affecting all these things in my life.
– I consider myself a VERY self aware person. I know my flaws, my strengths, my weaknesses, the habits I have, the reasons I DO things and know where I want to BE in life but Ashley really gave me a lot to think about. You see, I could know all these things and KNOW what I want but I have a really hard time getting there. I struggle with actualization of these things so we really talked about some of the things holding me back in my job search, in letting go of certain things in my life, etc. Identifying these things and saying them out loud was really, really helpful. I needed to get out of my own head and Ashley asked all the right questions to help me get in the right direction. I’m learning to see what you might call your “inner critic” as a good and a bad thing. The dots that Ashley was able to connect opened my eyes to how some of my self doubt and fear really run far deeper than I could have imagined.
– I was sad our conversation was over because it FLEW but I felt confident with the action plans she had given me and the tools that she had shared with me to help some of my problems — largely very inward things like self doubt, lack of confidence as a result of this time of unemployment, fear, holding on to things even when they don’t work, etc. All those things really affect WHY I couldn’t take action in two very important areas.
So did it work?
I think you have to think about WHAT you are looking to get out of this and what your expectations of a life coach or. Did I come out with a clear THIS IS GOING TO BE MY CAREER PATH? No, but I felt like I really thought out what things make me happy and feel fulfilled and now I can take that into my job search with me. My action plan had more to do with this passion project I’ve been talking about and I feel the most energized about that because we also realized that THAT could make me feel very whole even if I don’t have the DREAM JOB that is super satisfying. I wasn’t looking to Ashley to FIX all my problems but to get out of my own head so I could see things differently, help me identify the things that were holding me back and looking for some guidance in HOW to change things because what I was doing wasn’t helping. You have to go in with specific goals that you want to work on.
Should YOU consider a session with a life coach?
** Right now Ashley is offering Pay What You Want sessions so I would HIGHLY recommend taking advantage of this if you are even thinking about it!! —> check it out!
So, the answer to that question would depend on the next few questions you should ask yourself:
Do you have specific goals you want to achieve but don’t know how to get started? Do you feel stuck? Unmotivated or uninspired? Unable to move forward or let something go? Do you feel like you have dreams but don’t know how to make them a reality?
Things like:
– Wanting to start a business but you are too afraid/don’t know how to make it a reality, etc. (Ashley QUIT her job to make her own business — big leap of faith in herself so SHE KNOWS this one well).
– Wanting to start a new project but need direction, motivation, little action steps, etc.
– Trying to lose weight (seriously, she was telling me how she’s helped people with the mental barriers they’ve put up, action plans to help them succeed, identifying WHY they struggle etc.)
– Having an idea for a book but feel overwhelmed by even starting it — she will HELP you break things up, help you remove your self doubt, etc.
– Career change
– Letting fear/lack of self confidence/self doubt etc. etc. holding you back in general in life — she will help you work through that. Trust me on that one because I feel so equipped now.
– Taking that dream you have and helping you not just DREAM about it but putting the stepping stones to doing it.
– How to live the life you want, how to be inspired again, etc.
If any of those things sound like you…I’d HIGHLY recommend it. There’s a million more things you could talk with her about and I highly suggest it.
I’m feeling more confident, motivated and like some of the things I want are ACTUALLY attainable — they aren’t just these daunting things that I’ll never start because I don’t know how to take the first step.
If any of those sound like you I’d say ABSOLUTELY do this. Invest in yourself. You might think WOW that’s a good chunk of change to spend talking to someone and not knowing if it will work but it’s a lot about how you see that investment and what you want out of it. Ashley knows her stuff. I can only speak for her, since obviously this was my first time, but I would certainly schedule an appointment with her again when I feel like I need to because I saw my session as very successful for what I personally needed.
And if you don’t necessarily feel like this is for you right now or ever…I still HIGHLY recommend checking out her inspiring blog.
What about you guys..have any of you ever worked with a life coach? Are you interested/curious? What are your reservations? I’d love to talk to you guys about what YOU would want to work on with a life coach…what are you struggling with/want to change?
* Full disclosure: I received this opportunity in exchange for discussing it on my blog after speaking with Ashley. All of these opinions were 100% my own and would be the same had I paid for this…I can promise you that. She gave no guidelines of what to talk about just that I’d talk about my experience. I’m extremely humbled by her generosity in letting this broke and unemployed chick have this opportunity. When I get a job, I AM saving up to do another session.*
Stephanie @ Inspiring Insomnia says
I had never considered a life coach before, but your post has me seriously considering it! However, I’m not sure I need a coach as much as a totalitarian despot who will ORDER me in the right direction, rather than guiding me. My weight has been a huge (pun intended) struggle for me over the past year, so my ears perked up when you mentioned that she’s has success with people in that area.
Thanks for sharing, and I’m definitely going to check out her site!
Jamie says
Stephanie — I really recommend it! I would have NEVER thought of doing something like that — it just wasn’t something I thought would help me because I AM a very self aware kind of person but I realized maybe I needed it more than I thought — to not just recognize these things/know what I want but to help me get there and dig deeper into some of my thought patterns.
Haha can we find this despot to order us to do these things?? I need one that will kick me in the gut when I get off track and spend hours on Twitter or looking at stupid videos online.
I would definitely give it a chance! So much of the weight/becoming healthy thing is such a mindset and she WILL help you with that aspect but also put practical action steps in place that you’ll be SO motivated to complete.
Judith says
I can definitely relate to feeling STUCK at times. I just had a year like that last year and while I got out of it by myself eventually, I wish I would have known about something like this. I’m so glad it helped you get a different perspective on the things you want and I hope you can now figure out what you want. <3
Jamie says
It was honestly more helpful than I thought it would be! I think sometimes in our lives we CAN get out of it ourselves (I have) and then sometimes we need a little help — and that can come in any form not just life coaching. Glad you got out of it! GOSH this 20 something years are so crazy and awesome but also so confusing and hard.
Lisa Schensted says
JAMIE! I am so proud of you! For seeking the life coach and for sharing this very personal journey on your blog in order to inspire others and encourage them to – as you so expertly put it – invest in themselves!
I think life coaching is a wonderful thing, although the name is a bit -_- I think what they do is incredible! Especially since when we need a life coach, it’s really hard to put our finger on WHAT we’re looking for, you know?
Anyway, GO JAMIE! oxo
Jamie says
Thank you, Lisa!! I was very nervous to post this because this is a VERY personal thing. To admit you don’t have your ish together? I think I’ve been pretty open about this but I kept thinking WHAT ARE PEOPLE GOING TO THINK?! It helped me so much that I just don’t care. Everyone knows what they need and maybe for some people it’s life coaching (and SO AGREE..the name seems cheesy to me which is why I’ve had SUCH preconceived notions about it…and honestly if I never followed her awesome blog I would have NEVER considered it but I knew how motivating I just found her blog sooo I did it!).
And YES..there’s so many times I can help MYSELF but what do you do when you aren’t even exactly SURE what you want? You just know something is lacking and you have ideas of it but you just don’t know.
elena says
augh this post is ME EXACTLY, PRETTY MUCH. especially the self-aware/self doubt part. i wish i could afford a life coach because it sounds like such an amazing experience for you! i’m glad it worked so well and i’m so happy that you feel so rejuvenated/excited.
Jamie says
<33 I miss you. Please get in my time zone again so we can chat. I totally understand the not having $$ thing...totally wouldn't have been able to do this had we not been chatting about it and she gave me that generous opportunity. If anything, I highly suggest browsing around her blog because I've found so many great posts that have helped motivate!
Emily E says
So, I’ve been going through a quarter-life crisis and haven’t talked much about it because it is just so dang embarrassing to me that I don’t have my act together. This might actually be just the thing I need. Thank you so much for sharing, Jamie!
Jamie says
Emily,
I’m totally there with you. It was really embarrassing to admit all this stuff to the internet in this post and through the year about not having my crap together and I’ll tell you I’ve learned from the responses that A LOT of people don’t have it together. I think you could definitely benefit from this! You seem like a very ambitious, driven person and it’s okay to be stuck sometimes and I think Ashley would definitely be a good fit for you! She made me feel super comfortable and it was nice to be able to admit stuff that I’d never said out loud…even if I’d thought them.
Hope you figure something out even if you don’t end up doing it! Hang in there, friend!! We can get out of this!
Mel@thedailyprophecy says
This sounds like something that would be very helpful when you are feeling stuck. I think I definitely have times where talking to someone like this would help, but luckily I’ve been able to figure everything out by myself and some help from people in my surroundings. But, I will keep this in mind. You never know when you end up in a situation where you are in need of some extra help 🙂 I’m happy this was such a success for you!
Jamie says
Thank you, Mel!! Sometimes we can work ourselves out and sometimes we need a little extra help! I’m learning to be okay with that! 🙂
Lauren @ Books, Tea & Me says
I’m only 22 and already I’m getting scared about where I’m headed, or not headed, in life. I have all these dreams, all these ambitions, this “perfect” life I’d like to live, but I have no idea how I’m going to get there or if it’s even attainable. This post really spoke to me because I, too, have always just scoffed at therapists or life coaches because I’ve always had the mentality that I can figure it out myself. But sometimes we need to realize that a little help is appreciated. You’ve led me to her site and I love it — definitely going to be bookmarking it now! Thanks for this great post 🙂
Lauren @ Books, Tea & Me says
Oh, and because I apparently like clicking “submit” even when I’m not ready. I really hope you figure out the steps you want to take to be the best you possible and to live a life you will be proud of 80 years from now! Good luck and I’ll be looking forward to more life updates 🙂
Jamie says
Yay! I’m so glad! Her site is so motivating and helpful! I hope YOU figure out what it is that YOU want..the life you want to lead! I’ve found journalling to be really good for helping me to put my dreams on paper and see where I’m at!
Alexa Y. says
I’m so glad that you were able to have such a life-changing experiencing with a life coach! It sounds like she really got you to alter your perspective! I’m excited for you about the opportunities that lie ahead, and I really think that it will be amazing to see what you end up doing with your life.
Jamie says
Thanks Alexa! <33
Sarah K says
Oh I’ve really been wanting to do this! Glad to hear it went well for you. I will have to keep Ashley in mind when thinking more seriously about setting up an appointment.
Jamie says
I highly recommend doing it (and obviously recommend Ashley as I had a great experience with her)! Hope you get a chance to do it!
Molli says
Yay Yay Yay so super happy this helped you some, girl! 😀 😀
Jamie says
Thanks love! I’ve been bouncing off the walls excited!!
Stefanie says
I’m really happy for you that you found a way to ask for help and that you received it. We all need a little guidance in our lives and you just have to own up to it and ask for it. Because otherwise we might just stay in the dark for too long. I really hope your life becomes better because of this because you deserve that!
Jamie says
Thank you Stefanie!!
Nicole Hewitt says
Sounds like an amazing opportunity. I think that most of us could use this help!
Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction
Jamie says
For sure, Nicole! Happy for the experience — def learned a lot!
Rebecca @ The Library Canary says
I’ve never even considered using a life coach, but this girl sounds great! I’m also unemployed and have no idea what I want to do with my life. Well, long-term I want to be an author and am working on my first novel, but that’s going to be at least a few years down the road so I don’t know what to do in the short-term! Maybe I’ll check her blog out! I’m glad this was so helpful to you! Good luck in your job search! <3
Jamie says
You should definitely check her blog out! Even if you can’t do the life coaching I’ve found her blog incredibly inspiring and motivational!! Hopefully both you and I will find what we are looking for and love it so much!!
Whitley says
I’ve definitely thought about something like that before. I know I’ve got my issues that I’d like to get over, and correcting bad habits is monumentally hard. But do you have a life coach to get over the insecurities that prevent one from going to a life coach?
Heather says
Thank you so much for sharing Jamie!
I love this post and just like you, I am feeling like I’ve hit a brick wall!
Danie @ The Bookish Brunette says
I loveee this post. Like, no words. This year has been an awful year for me as far as “Real Life” stuff. It’s left me in a not-so-good place mentally, but I’m slowly starting to get out of it. And ultimately I know that all the “awful” stuff I’ve gone through this year is actually things that will benefit me in the long run, but it’s hard to get out of the mindset when you’re in it, ya know? And now it’s sort of like I’m just spinning my wheels while I figure out where to go from here. Ah, life.
Anyway, glad this worked out so well for you, I’ll be checking her blog out!