If We Were Having Coffee

I saw a life coach I love, Ashley, do a post entitled If We Were Having Coffee and I decided to take her lead and do one myself in November 2013 because I loved it and sometimes I feel like we forget that there is a whole life behind the people that write and read blogs. I got such a great response to my initial post that I wanted to make it a reoccurring thing!

 

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So, grab your coffee/beverage of your choice and meet me for a chat. I’ve got water with lemon right now. Love that H2O.

If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’m currently reading Written in the Stars by Aisha Saeed. Still too early on to have an opinion but I love reading about different cultures from my own and arranged marriage is something I’m not familiar with on a personal level obviously. Before that I just finished Bone Gap by Laura Ruby which was sooo interesting. I am still trying to unpack that one. I’d ask you what you are reading and what you just finished before that…

If we were having coffee... I’d tell you I’m really excited for how my late spring/summer is shaping up — so many good book events, concerts, vacations, etc. that Will and I have planned! We started putting it all out on a calendar and I’m just GIDDY with excitement. I’d ask you what you are planning on doing this summer.

If we were having coffee.… I’d tell you that I’m failing on my 30 before 30 list that I had told you that I made. I haven’t crossed many off so now I have to kick it into high gear. 30 is coming up sooooon (in October). I’d ask you how you tackle your more random goals (ie things that are of importance to you but not like pressing matters). Because right now my list is just SITTING THERE.

If we were having coffee…. Id tell you that the last time we talked I was feeling super discouraged with blogging but I would LOVE to update you that I’m feeling really good about it right now. Nothing really has changed but somewhere along the line my mindset did because look, internally, I’m REALLY happy about what I do here and feel excited about everything I post. So what is there to care about otherwise? I think the nice Spring weather is boosting my mood but who knows. Also been brainstorming some things I’m really excited about. SO YAY.

If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that I’ve been having a really hard time with some changes going on in my life. SO, my stepdad is great. He’s like a second dad to me (I had both of them walk me down the aisle). I lived with him until I got married even after my mom passed in 2006 and he’s just really important to me. He’s been dating this woman for a while and they will be getting married in September. My personal feelings about her are complicated (long story short: she’s caused fractures between this relationship for both myself and my sister) but I WANT him to be happy. It’s hard. And then the fact that soon she will be moving into MY HOUSE? The house where my stepdad, mom, sister and I lived for all those years. I’m having to box up my stuff (I’ve kept stuff we can’t fit in the apartment there in my old room) and get it ALL out because her sons are moving in and will TAKE our rooms and it’s just all so weird. I know his life is moving on but it’s so weird that I’ll go there and the place where I see all MY memories will not be mine anymore. I won’t have a room. I won’t be able to just go in there as I please like I do now. I stop by, eat food and just hang out all the time. And all the touches that my mom put on that house? I know they are just going to be painted over and things will be taken down and changed. I would almost rather him sell the house rather than have to still visit MY house but it won’t really be mine anymore. I spent a lot of time this past week there by myself packing up my room and just crying. A LOT. I know it’s inevitable but it’s just so hard to watch yet another part of my mom just get erased in some ways. It was comforting to go there because that house was still so much my mom just reflected in everything that is in it and the decorating.

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I’m still struggling with what to do next with my life. I’m still nannying for the time being and haven’t really been sending out as many resumes. I needed a mental health break from it. I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve had a “real job” in marketing at this point that nobody is going to hire me. But like…it’s not by choice? I started nannying because I had to pay my bills somehow while I job searched. And here we are over a year later and I’m still nannying. I’d ask if you had any advice for me.

If we were having coffee….I’d tell you how I’m having such a hard time working out these days. I was doing so good last year and this year I can’t stay consistent. I’d ask you if you have an exercise routine and, if so, what it is.

If we were having coffee….I’d tell you about how I’m so thankful for many of my friendships but especially my one girlfriend who I get together with every Wednesday for wine night. I’ve been so awful about making an effort to get together with friends but having this standing date reminds me how much I love getting together with friends.

If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that I’m PRETTY SURE I’m going to BEA again this year. PRETTY SURE. Year #5 of BEA if so! I’d ask you, if you were a blogger/librarian/teacher/bookseller, etc., if you were going too.

 

If we were having coffee…what would you tell me? Come on…lay it all out! It’s just you, me, the pleasant sounds of a cafe…and maybe some other eyes in the comment section but NBD right?? Our we can have coffee in my inbox if you don’t feel comfortable. I really want to know! What’s going on with you?

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About Jamie

Jamie is a 30 year old married lady who is in denial that she’s actually that old. When she’s not reading you can find her doing Pilates followed by eating ice cream, listening to music with oversized headphones and having adventures with her husband and dog.

Comments

  1. If we were having coffee (well, tea, preferably)… I’d tell you that I’m currently reading “Sever” by: Lauren DeStefano, and it’s sad right now! I don’t think it will have a happy ending, but I’m hoping it will! I could use one right now. And before that, I finished “Fever” by: Lauren DeStefano! (I’m also like 125 pages into “Those Girls” by: Lauren Saft, and I’m not feeling it all that much, but I feel like I need to know what happens)

    If we were having coffee (well, tea, preferably)… I’d tell you that I’m hoping the Old Port Festival has good bands/singers this summer, because last year they didn’t. Haven’t been in a couple years! I also turn 23 on June 25th, and don’t know how I feel about that…

    If we were having coffee (well, tea, preferably)… I’d tell you that I’m pretty awful at completing my random goals. I’m a procrastinator! So wish that I wasn’t!

    If we were having coffee (well, tea, preferably)… I’d tell you that it’s totally justified to feel the way you do about the situation that you’re in! -hugs- I’m here for you, if you need me! (I so wish we talked more, ’cause it seems like we’d get along really well)
    I’d also tell you that I’ve been super stressed out lately. Back in January the person that rented our apartment above our garage passed away and we’re still trying to find a tenant. It’s how my parents pay a big part of the mortage on our house and it has me really worried and stressed! (But I’m doing OTSP Secret Sister, so I’m trying to think stay upbeat)

    If we were having coffee (well, tea, preferably)… I’d tell you that I wish I had advice for you. I still haven’t applied to any colleges, because the thought of doing so terrifies me (and because sending in applications is SO expensive)!

    If we were having coffee (well, tea, preferably)… I’d tell you that I wish I had an exercise routine, but I don’t! I tend to just dance around the house to music haha.

    If we were having coffee (well, tea, preferably)… I’d tell you that I really hope my best friend, Haley, can come visit me this fall for the Fair that comes to my town in the first week of October! I haven’t seen her since July 2013 and that’s when I went to visit her in Chicago! She just broke her engagement and it’s hitting her hard, so it’d be nice to have some girl time!

    If we were having coffee (well, tea, preferably)… I’d tell you that I wish I was going to BEA, but alas, I can’t ๐Ÿ™

    If we were having coffee (well, tea, preferably)… I’d tell you (referencing the wishing we talked more), that I’d love the idea of being email pen pals (but only if you wanted). Or even actual letter writing (as I already have 5)!
    I’d also tell you that the Fair in my town is October 4-11, if you get the chance to come!

    • Hi lady! Nice to see you here! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Ah that’s so hard re: the apartment! Money things are always so scary. For the past 2 years since Will and I have been married we’ve had a lot of uncertainty with money and thought we might have to move in with family bc we were SO BROKE. It’s scary. Things are a little better with us right now bc of Will’s job but hang in there! It will all work out!

      I so hope that festival is good this year (boooo for festivals who have nobody who interests you) and I so hope you and your friend can get quality time together!

      I used to have a zillllion of penpals! LOVE writing to people! I know I’d be a crap penpal atm but let me revisit in the summer!! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Money things really are always so scary! My parents own the house (well, are paying mortgage) and it just makes me worried that we’ll lose the house :/ I’m trying to keep my faith that it will all work out! My dad is the only one that works in the house (I have no way to get a job, right now) and right now is slow season for it (he installs Directv/Exceed [used to be Wildblue]/Lifeshield)!

        The Swon Brothers played the festival last year, but I didn’t deem them worthy of getting up at 8 AM and standing out in the very hot sun for xD But it worked out, because they played my local Fair last October and I got to meet them!
        It’d be cool if like Dan + Shay or somebody else good would play it this year!! It’s a free festival and you only have to pay for parking (which is like $10 at most, I believe)!
        It’s super difficult when your best friend lives in Chicago (well in a town that’s like an hour outside of it) and you live in Maine, ugh. But we are planning to Skype soon, so I can see her open her birthday package that I sent her!

        I absolutely love writing to people too! I wrote down a little note to contact you in June about becoming pen pals and pinned it up on my corkboard ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. *big bear hug* I’m so sorry that you feel like you’re losing another piece of your mother. It seems like you needed to express that. Did you try talking to your step dad about it?
    I would love to go to BEA but doesn’t look like I’ll be going.

    • I haven’t talked to him about it because I haven’t really known how to say it. The only thing I’ve really said was, while talking about how we need to go through some of her stuff (family heirlooms and things like that) that I was like “can it just be the three of us (he, myself and my sis) and not her bc I think that’s weird.” SOOO that probably clued him in a little about how I’m feeling but I really should express my concerns. I just don’t know how I will do it without bawling my eyes out haha. And he’s an emotional guy too and same with my sister sooo it will be a hot mess haha.

  3. If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that this is a really nice way to get personal with one’s readers and I’d ask you if I can, like, do it in my blog as well?

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that the last book I finished was Shadow and Bone and, Idk, but I found the pace really problematic but thought the world-building was incredible. Before that was Winger by Andrew Smith and OHMYGODS, Jamie, I FELL COMPLETELY IN LOVE!! Instant favorite!!

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that that thing with your stepdad and your house and how you feel is normal. I probably would freak out. I get attached easily to people and stuff and I could only imagine how conflicting your situation must have been/is. But I also hope that you have a good support, and I’m guessing you do. ๐Ÿ™‚

    And, lastly, if we were having coffee, I’d tell you I hope to attend BEA one day and that you have fun (if you ever come).

    • Sure! Just link back to me maybe? ๐Ÿ™‚

      I really enjoyed Shadow and Bone! Gotta finish the rest of the trilogy!!! AND OOOH I HAVE HEARD SO MANY GOOD THINGS ABOUT WINGER! Must get to it!!

      And thanks <33 It's been hard. I just can't imagine all the things that my mom put up coming down and every trace of her just being gone. I mean, I get it. She's going to want to make it her house but it just feels a lot like it's been taken away from me.

  4. Lillian says:

    Hey Jamie!
    If we were having coffee, I would tell you how I’m reading The Walls Around Us. I’m loving it but I’m in a bit of a slump so I’m not putting much pressure on myself.

    Those book events and concerts sound so good! I’ll be going to the beach, the backwaters and the island this summer so I’m giddy too! ๐Ÿ˜€

    I hate breaking into my lists but I just pick one day for a particular goal and just push myself into it. Get it over and reward myself. Not that the list is boring but not having a seperate deadline for each of the goals makes me lazy.

    I’m glad you are feeling upbeat about blogging! I’m getting back into it as well(soon!) and I can’t wait! ๐Ÿ™‚

    If we were having coffee, I would understand the situation you are having with your house and stepdad. It seems so tough and it’s totally okay to feel this way! You are being really strong, if I say so. Xx

    I would say, since you’ve been blogging for 5 years and seen how social media has evolved, try looking at jobs online. I’ve found a couple of jobs online based in my country, and it’s easier since you get the upperhand in this situation.

    If we were having coffee, I would tell you how I exercise at night. I don’t feel so comfortable in the morning so night is ideal! I usually do 10 sit-ups, 10 leg lifts and stuff. I alternate that with Yoga. Try DoYouYoga on youtube. They have simple but effective poses. ๐Ÿ™‚

    It’s been difficult to get out of my shell but I’m making friends too. I usually stay home but now, I’m making an effort to get out.

    Ooh, BEA is my dream! I shall look at your updates and live the BEA life through you! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Life is okay for me. I’m taking a gap year before college and I’m planning to do a lot of things. I actually do a “If we were having coffee” post in my diary since you introduced it. So, thanks lovely! <3
    We need to talk more! I feel like I'm in a shell around the blogosphere and I'm gonna try to break out of that. ๐Ÿ˜€

    • OOOH cannot wait to read that one! I had a big slump this year so far too and it’s just like UGHHH but I think you are being smart and just letting yourself work it out with no pressure.

      Ooh your summer sounds fantastic already too! YAY FOR FUN SUMMERS.

      I think I need to do that. Give myself deadlines for at least 5 of them to break up the list. See what I can tackle sooner and start there.

      And thanks <33 I'm trying to be strong and not break down and make him feel bad about it because he's been nothing but amazing to my sister and I when...he really has no obligation to us. It's just hard. Not only with the house but like HE IS MY STEPDAD...even at 29...I don't want to share him with her sons (he never had any kids of his own and had been with my mom since I was at least like 5).

      Thanks for the job searching advice! I need to get creative!

      I can only work out at night too (when I'm working out!). I want to be a morning working out person but I just can't. I find I do my best blogging in the morning before work so that's typically what I do.

      AH I wish you were coming to BEA! Would love to meet!! Also, I'm so envious you are taking a gap year! I wish I would have done that! I hope maybe you talk about that on your blog?? And YES we should talk more. I've loved the interactions we HAVE had on Twitter and such!

  5. If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I am having a REALLY hard time finding a book to enjoy after reading the amazing book of Black Iris. Seriously, every book I read is just so boring to me.

    • GAHHH I’ve been hearing this about Black Iris!!! Hmm have you read I’ll Meet You There by Heather Demetrios? Or The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay? Both 5 star reads from me! I read TST a while ago but just reread some parts recently bc I haven’t had time for a full reread!

      • Yes, actually I have read both of those! I read The Sea of Tranquility last year and loved it. It went on my list as one of my all time favorite books. I was thinking about rereading it since everything else is boring. At least I know I’ll love that one. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Love these posts Jamie.
    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that your blog is amazing and you are right to feel excited and proud about what you post as it’s thought-provoking, meaningful and inspirational.
    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you to keep sending out those resumes. You are such a creative person that I feel marketing is a great fit for you. I know it must be hard but all you need is a start and just one door to open. So even if you make it a goal to send x amount a week. And I’d tell you it sucks that you are looking for a job at this particular time but don’t take it personally, it’s not you, it’s the jobs market.
    If we were having a coffee, I’d give you a hug. It must be hard going though all that with your Stepdad and I have no advise as the only way out is through. So a hug it is.

    • Thanks Trish for the kind words <33 I had been really down about blogging in general AND my blog. Getting those "oh I'm so old and irrelevant" feels but suddenly I just snapped out of it and I'm like WHATEVER I like what I'm posting soooo who cares?

      And thanks for the encouragement! <3 It just feels like it's been so long and nobody is going to be interested in me. I definitely think I just need to keep going because I'm NOT happy nannying. I mean, sure it's sweet to be able to read for 2 hours while they nap and to be outside when it's nice and to wear sweatpants when it's cold (these are all the things I have to tell myself my situation is not awful).

      *hugs* Thanks for chatting!!

  7. If we were having coffee, I’d tell you to get back on that job hunting horse! I can only imagine how discouraging it must be to not get any results from it, but I think you’re a fantastic, creative person. Just look how successful your blog has become. I think any company would be lucky to have you with them to help turn their company/blog/social media into something amazing. You have the power to rock the hell out of it, and I think it’s only a matter of time until someone realizes that and hires you.

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m feeling LONELY. Maybe it’s silly, but my husband has been away for a convention type thing since Thursday and I’ve been all alone in the apartment. I didn’t realize how much my husband keeps me in check. When I’m alone, there’s no one to ensure that I’m not sleeping in until noon every day. There’s no one to scold me when I have a less-than-healthy dinner or too many desserts. I know it’s only been a few days but there’s this huge SILENCE in the apartment and I hate it… which is weird because I’m a total introvert and always thought I liked the silence.

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m feeling really proud of myself with the progress I’ve made on the Ultimate Book Blogger Plugin v3. I like to think that I’m always learning. I’m always becoming a better coder and improving my skills/technique/knowledge, and I think I’m really shining with this new version of the plugin. My code is so clean and well organized. It makes so much sense! And I’m coding so many new things from scratch that are quite complex and I just feel so proud at having achieved what I have so far.

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m feeling a bit antsy about my future. I’m feeling really good about my business right now, but the future makes me nervous. I keep thinking that book blogging could easily not be here in 10 years. What do I do then? I know the internet is a place that changes in a heartbeat and I just need to be on top of my game, but it’s scary.

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m SUPER EXCITED that you’re probably going to BEA this year, and I really hope we can hang out! I feel like we’ve seen each other pretty briefly at BEA but I’d love to spend more time chatting. Maybe this will be the year?

    • Thanks lady!! It’s so discouraging sometimes and like you FEEL worthless? Like I know what I can do and that I’m all those things you said but these past 2 years have like made me doubt myself. But you are right…gotta keep going. Or else nothing will change.

      NOOOO I totally understand that. When Will went away for a week for work I was like OH MY GOSH WHAT IS THIS. I value my alone time but I also realize how much I really genuinely love being with him. I’m like MAN THIS IS BORING NOW. Plus I locked my bedroom door and had a knife and a golf club next to me bc my imagination is WILLLLLD and all the serial killers CLEARLY were going to come out to play. I didn’t even tweet about the fact he was away until he was like 2 hours away lol.

      I know we don’t know each other well but I have to say I’M proud of all you’ve done with the plugin (also I’m super excited for the mini review update OMGGGGGG) and your business in general. You’ve done a lot of good for the community and you listen to what we want and we trust you…which is nice when you are spending money on something. You are doing a great job!!!

      I have some of those same feelings re: book blogging. it’s already scary how much it all has changed in the 5 years I’ve been apart of it. Like, to see the trends change over the years and to see how booktubing is being embraced even more. I mean, booktube is fun. I like it. I can’t watch many bc it’s faster for me to READ blogs. And I MUCh prefer to write because I can do it with 2 day old greasy hair with no bra on and I don’t need good lighting or crap. I just prefer writing. Always have. It will be interesting to see how things evolve. I hope we are all still around.

      And YES please let’s chat more!! I love talking to you online/via comments/reading blogs so it would be so nice to get to talk more IRL!

  8. If we were having coffee, I’d tell you the last book I read was A Great and Terrible Beauty & why I liked it, it didn’t wow me like I’d hope.

    I’d also tell you that I’m also having job search frustration. So, I graduated in May 2013, and did a service year starting in July 2013-July 2014. I worked really hard during my service year & got SO much experience through it, seriously. I learned so many skills & I’m confident that experience could totally help me be successful somewhere else if given the chance. It’s been 9 months and I still don’t have a job(had to move back home w/ my dad, and I’m close to my dad but just having to do that sucked), & it’s so demoralizing. To be honest I’ve always gotten results after for going for things I wanted pretty quickly. Getting into my top pick college or getting internships or opportunities I wanted during college was always fairly easy for me. I got a few rejections for various, things, of course, but nothing like this. I don’t think anyone expected me to still not have a job 9 months later.

    I’d also sympathize about your stepdad getting remarried. I haven’t gone through exactly that, but my dad’s gotten remarried after my mom’s death and it’s strange. Now that I’m living back at home I live with both of them & I wouldn’t say my stepmom & I don’t completely get along(we’re not fighting or anything), but most of the time it’s like we’re speaking different languages. There’s such a personality gap there, and it’s hard to watch things change, like you said. I do still have my room, which I’m very grateful for, but I think it’s all hard.

    And I’m glad you’re feeling better about blogging! That’s definitely a bright spot!

    • YES this is the issue I’m having with the job search. Like I never had a problem before getting jobs?? It’s been 2 years for me (granted I’ve been nannying and not really as on top of the job search but still). I DID NOT ASK TO GET LAID OFF!! SIGHHHHH. I hate getting asked like, “so did you get a job yet??” and I’m like NOPE STILL NANNYING.

      Ah that’s so hard. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to live with my stepdad and the new wife to be. I’d die really. She is AWFUL.

  9. I want to say that anitaclew.com posted about going back into the job search after a period of time of working in a different field… you should look it up! That blog is always posting good work/job advice.

    Glad to hear you’re feeling better about blogging. I would very much blame the weather, it was a cold and miserable winter for us in PA this year. Also, I REALLY hope you can make it to BEA!!

    • Oh thank you for linking that!! Really appreciate it!! I need all the help I can get!

      Yeah, that weather. Definite blahs. I can definitely see how much my mood has gotten better since the nicer weather has graced us with its presence. Also, I AM GOING TO BEA!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. If we were having coffee…I’d give you a big hug and tell you that your feelings on life changes are totally justified. I can very much so relate to your feelings. My mom remarried in 2012 (only 5 months after I got married) and so many pieces of my dad have been painted over. There aren’t even pictures of him here anymore and it breaks my heart. It gets to that point where yes, you want your parent to be happy and you know they have no intention of erasing the parent you lost but it still kind of feels like that. I’d be giving you a hug if we were having coffee, and telling you to talk to me whenever (and I am totally seriously. If you ever need to talk or vent about it let me know. I know how hard it can be)

    If we were having coffee I would also tell you….that I have just started Red Queen but just finished ACOTAR (and had a super hard time finding something to read after it). I also do not know what I want to do with my life. I kind of feel like I became a preschool teacher because no one else would take me. But ugh. It’s so hard. I am not at all where I thought I would be at this point in my life, and I don’t know what to do. Oh well. I am so glad you are feeling better about your blogging stuff. I love reading your blog, and I need to get better at commenting. Wishing you the best and hope things continue to look good for you ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Ah girl, I feel you <33 It's so hard. It so does feel like they are being erased. Like he's all happy moving on with his life with his new wife to be and we are getting kicked out of our house and all the THINGS that made me think of my mom are just being erased. SIGH. <33 It's so nice (well not NICE) that someone else can understand this <333

      AHH ACOTAR. Major book hangover.

      I'm trying so hard not to worry about "where I am vs. where I thought I'd be" but it's so hard not to.

      And thank you <333 I really appreciate it! And no worries, life gets busy. Easy to read and not comment (I'm so guilty of this). I just appreciate you even reading!

  11. If we were having coffee I would tell you how I fel kind of stuck. My job is not the job I thought would be my career but I actually enjoy it for the most part but I feel stuck sometimes with everything else. I am 25 and my friends are starting to have kids and I am not sure if/when I want kids. I want to travel more but then I feel guilt for waiting. If we were having coffee I would tell you I am trying to travel as much as possible. This year I have a trip planned to the Dominican, Tenesee and hopefully NYC. My travel bug is not quite satisfied yet.

    • I feel you! Obviously with the job thing. But also ALLLL my friends have kids and I so don’t know if I want to do that whole thing. Though my husband does. My mind kind of changed in the past couple years so that’s a sore spot for us. And YES I want to go travel before we would have kids anyways. It’s so hard becaause to travel you need money and my financials have been sucky…it’s awful. My travel bug is never satisfied…in a perpetual state of wanderlust :/ So I feel ya!!! You have some great trips planned!!

  12. If we were having coffee, Jamie, I’d tell you how much I can relate to your situation with your step dad remarrying and the new wife moving into your childhood home. I’ve lived through this exact experience, and still struggle with it myself. It’s totally normal to feel like you’re losing a part of your mom all over again. I totally felt that way. It’s hard walking into my dad’s house and seeing fewer and fewer memories of my mother on the walls, in the dish collection, or even in photographs. I’m here if you ever want to talk about it, always just a text away <3

    • <3333 I might need a good pep talk before their wedding. It was awful. We were there to go through some of my mom's things and I specifically asked my stepdad for her not to be there so like it could just be the 3 of us going through and talking and stuff. One last hurrah. Share stories about my mom. It was like that at first and then she came over with her dad's truck for the boys to use to take a couch to my sister's so she was there and like offered to watch Genevieve and Adela...so that was fine at first. Like I didn't want her there at all but whatever. But then she came back from their walk and was sitting in the room next to us and all the convo about my mom and these memories from this stuff/stories of heirlooms just changed. And then we ate pizza and she ate with us and I was like OKAY whatever maybe she'll leave after. NOPE. And then we went upstairs to do some stuff in our rooms and when we came down that bitch was unpacking her stuff. LIKE OMG COULD YOU NOT WAIT AN HOUR FOR US TO LEAVE. YOU WERE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. We are having this emotional hard day and she has to like start unpacking her shit. It was awful. We drove back to my sister's house and we both just started bawling.

  13. If we were having coffee, I would be drinking tea,

    And I would tell your just finished rereading the hunger games as I have been in a major reading slump. I’m looking for something new ๐Ÿ™‚

    I would tell you that I am super excited for my summer. I have no solid plans other than continuing to work but there are whispers of travel plans in my future that look promising!

    I would tell you to tackle each thing from the list separately. One thing at a time seems much less scary than a whole list. Also, don’t stress if everything doesn’t get done! It’s not like you are going to quit wanting to do those things once you turn 30.

    I would tell you I am super excited you found your blogging groove again because I love reading what you write!

    I would tell you that while my situation was different I do in a way understand and what you’re feeling is okay. When my now step mom moved in with my dad and I it was hard watching her erase every part of my mum from the house I grew up in ( my parents were divorced, so I know not quite the same) and now that I have moved out watching every trace of my and my siblings be erased to is painful because as much as I understanding my dad and stepmom wanting a clean slate, it hurts to see things that’ve loved for 22 years disappear. I hope it gets easier for you.

    I would tell you to never stop looking. That may not mean always taking active steps towards changing your career but just always be aware of what’s out there. And understand that you have changed so be open to things that might be a bit out of your comfort zone, also even if you feel under qualified apply anyways. You never know what might happen.

    I’d tell you I take fitness classes. I find that if I am actually signed up for a class it motivates me to go and to push myself. Plus I have found fun ones like aerial silks and pole dancing classes that are superfun on top of being a great work out.

    And then I would tell you how much school is stressing me out. I have received 8 rejection letters in the last two years and have finally gotten to a point where there is little more I can ( or want) to do until I get accepted into law school or social work. I am so scared I won’t be able to make it work out. Taking this next year off school is one of the scariest and most exciting things I have ever done. I hope I am ready for the new challenge

    • Whatcha in the mood to read? I might have some recs!

      That’s a good point..I’m still going to WANT to do these things. No need to stress over something fun!

      And thank you <3 it's nice to feel excited about blogging again after such a drought.

      Ah that's so hard <33 I hate that you can understand.

      I like your job advice! You are right. I need to be more open!

      I really want to do fitness classes bc I think it would motivate me to go...bc I'm paying for it. Just don't have the funds at the moment. :/

      Good luck with school! YOU CAN DO IT! I BELIEVE IN YOU!

  14. This is such a fun feature! I am so glad that you decided to do it. I really want to go to BEA – I wish that I lived closer and plane tickets weren’t go expensive! I am still considering but it is an investment. There is a NerdCon in Minnesota in October that I think I will go to!
    Missie @ A Flurry of Ponderings

    • Yeah, I’m very lucky that I live in Philly so luckily it’s just a 90 minute train ride so not expensive. When it’s in Chicago next year I don’t know that I’ll be able to do it. I hope you do go!!!

  15. it’s honestly uncanny how you read my mind, jamie! i was thinking earlier today that i wish i felt more ‘connected’ to the readers on my blog and want a two-way conversation and this post popped up at the right time.

    if i can tear myself away from mindlessly scrolling the internet, i am currently reading the girl at midnight by melissa grey! and before that, i read p.s. i still love you and it was perfect. if you are going to bea, come to the launch party for it on may 26!! it’s going to be so fun! we must hang out, obviously.

    i’m so glad you are feeling optimistic by blogging because i’m feeling the OPPOSITE until i read your post, haha. just a lot of blahs but i find it encouraging you are feeling much better about it!!! i need to do something to shake up my creativity.

    i want to know your spring/summer planzzzz

    omg i am so sorry about the house. that is such a tough situation and it’s so so hard to let go, especially because it’s tied to your mom. ๐Ÿ™

    ughhhhhh searching for a job is so haaaard. i feel like i’m just putting off real adulthood until the summer is over and then i’m screwed. i was on this site yesterday: https://www.themuse.com/ which SEEMS promising. maybe it’ll help??

    I FEEL YOU RE: WORKING OUT. i haven’t been home and all i’ve been doing is EATING. to be frank, not really comfortable with my body right now but i’m working on it. it is so hard for me to get motivated about working out!!! but i know i need to do it.

    xoxoxoxox

    • Yeah, that’s why I love doing these. I feel so often, even with comments on posts, that I’m talking TO people but they aren’t really talking back. Plus, I like having a little life update every couple months…it’s cathartic.

      YOU READ PS I STILL LOVE YOU. (I HATE YOU JK JKJK)

      HAHAH that after I posted it I felt BLAHHHH again. Feeling okay though now. I just have to ride the hides and lows. Sometimes the lows last too long. :/

      Summer plans? BEA, beach trips, a week in Delaware with my family, road trip to Michigan for a wedding and then potentially a Boston trip. Also Taylor and some other concerts.

      Thanks for linking that site!!!

  16. If we were having coffee I’d tell you that going on it’s easier than truly moving on and that I can only imagine how difficult it must be having all those changes in the one that was your house, where all your mum’s memories still were fresh and that it might seem like losing her again. But I’m sure you’ll find a way to hold on to what’s important to you, no matter of the physical house or not.

    If we were having coffee I’d tell you I’m very excited about finally moving into my own place finally, and that it is what is helping get through a very tough personal time, and that I know how to go on, but not very sure about how to go about moving on, because I’m still madly in love with someone that isn’t in love with me anymore, and that finally getting the keys to the apartment and moving will probably happen at the same time that I’m gonna need to start packing for BEA and that my poor bank account is gonna be completely shaking by the end of May! (Hey, we can meet at BEA!!!).

    If we were having coffee I’d tell you that I’m worried about my job, I’ve had a very stable job and contract for 9 years and now there seem to going to be quite a few changes at the hospital now and I’m scared they’ll affect me with the worst timing, because I’m gonna need my paycheck like mad because of my apartment and loan and everything… and I’m trying to not worry to much but it’s always there at the back of my mind.

    If we were having coffee I’d tell you how excited I am to be decorating my new place, finding the right pieces for everything, setting up the right kitchen for the geek & baker in me and the joy of finally having a dedicated library room to fill with shelves and all my books and a proper reading sofa!

    • That’s a good point, lady. I think definitely after this hard step..I’ll be able to find ways to think of her and feel her here with us even if the house no longer FEELS like her anymore. I did take some things like her wine glasses (she was a big wino) and some other things that will remind me of her.

      Aw hun <333 That is so hard to deal with. Sending love. I've been in that position once in high school and it was awful. I truly thought I was going to marry him...even in high school. But very exciting that you are moving into your own place though. I hope you have fun decorating it. ALSO omg I cannnot waiiiit to meet you!!!!

      Will be thinking of you re: job changes. It's always so scary when things seem unsettled. I've been there.

  17. If we where having coffee… I would say. I love this idea. Can you start this as a meme. I’ve just started my blog and don’t care for a lot of memes but this one is fun, personal, and most of all cozy. I would love to have coffee with you often.

    • I’ve toyed with that idea over the past couple years with it but I do it so sporadically that I would be the worst host and I try not to do it like on a schedule…just whenever I feel like I really need to have a chat with everyone/give an update. But thank you for loving it <333

  18. If we were having coffee, I’d ask you about how you were feeling about that book because I’m REALLY looking forward to it.

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you to have fun as much as possible.

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you good luck and not to stress yourself out too much.

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you to do whatever works for your blog. I hope you figure everything out and I know you will. I’m excited to see what you have in store for you blog. Organization always helps. It can cleanse the palate.

    If we were having coffee, I’D TELL YOU I WENT THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING. I’m glad you’re being so open. So, in return I’m going to be open with you. My dad got remarried as well. I did not get along with his future wife for similar reasons. She was very possessive and often payed my brother and me no mind. She felt like she was his family now. It was hard to accept that our home was no longer our home. If you ever want to talk about this with someone that’s been through it, I’m here if you need to talk. I know it’s kinda weird since we don’t know each other. But, if you ever need an outlet, I’m here.

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m in a similar situation. I’m struggling here as well and WE CAN FIST THROUGH THIS JAMIE. WITH COFFEE AND JUST BEING AWESOME.

    If we were having coffee, I WOULD AGAIN HAVE TO TELL YOU I’M ALSO IN A EXERCISING SLUMP. It’s hard isn’t it. I’m thinking maybe organizing my life a little more than usual could help with this. But, someone else told me if you think of it like “I GET to exercise today” instead of “I have to exercise today” it can put a more positive thought in your head and you become more inclined to exercise. I’m going to try this myself, and see how it works out.

    BE THE SPECTACULAR PERSON YOU ARE, JAMIE. XOXO

    • Really enjoyed Written in the Stars! Hope you like it!

      Yes! I do think I need to get more organized. Might help!

      I hate that you DO understand what I’m going through but it’s nice to not feel alone <33 Might need a pep talk before the wedding (and after when she is all moved in and taking over my house)!!!

      Ever since I read this comment when you first posted it (taking forever to reply bc I am the worst) but OMG THAT HAS HELPED SO MUCH. Reframing it like " I GET TO" instead of "I HAVE TO" it has helped me soooo much!!!

  19. First of all….{{{hugs}}} because if we were having coffee, that is exactly what I would want to give you because it sounds like you need one.

    Second, if we were having coffee, I would tell you that it is perfectly normal to have those complicated feelings about your stepdad given the important role he plays in your life and his connection to your mother. I would also suggest that he will understand all this and more if you talk to him.

    I would tell you that after having lost half of the weight I wanted to lose, I’ve stalled and started gaining it back again, that I too can’t seem to get off my butt and start exercising, and that I’m not happy about it at all. Yet, no matter how unhappy I am, it still isn’t enough to motivate me to do the right thing. I seriously dislike how lazy I am about certain things.

    I would tell you that it is perfectly normal to have job-related concerns when you turn 30. It is a big milestone, and you always think your life is going to be different than what it is. Take your time, enjoy it, and find that perfect job for you. It will work out for you. Somehow, life always does even when we can’t see it right away.

    Have a wonderful day and week, Jamie!

    • I would accept said hug!! ๐Ÿ™‚

      I definitely need to talk to him. Since I wrote this something happened that made my sister and I really upset and I just don’t think he gets it :/

      YES I feel the same way. Like I get all down on myself for how I can’t fit into things but yet I would rather go eat ice cream than workout and change it?? SIGH. I’ve been doing alright in the past week or two with it but I don’t feel 100% committed. I’m halfassing some of the workouts. I do Blogilates if you want to check that out. I do her regular calendar but when I started a couple years ago I did the beginner’s calendar she has. I swap a video or two for one or two cardio videos she has because I’m trying to lose a little weight but her workouts kick my butt!

      Thanks for your comment and for chatting <33

  20. Someone You Know [But Not Well] says:

    If we were having coffee I would do my best not to cry and just talk about the good things, like how awesome your life is! I would talk about Bone Gap because I’ve heard of that one ALL over the place but I haven’t read it. I would ask for an oral review because those are my favorites.

    If we were having coffee, I would ask about your taste in music since music is so important to me. I would say that my faves right now are Elle King and A Silent Film. I would start gushing about Ed Sheeran and how much I love his music, especially the song, Even My Dad Does Sometimes.

    If we were having coffee, I would talk about the fact that I’m killing my GR challenge. but I wouldn’t mention that the only reason I’m reading so much is because I’m in a life slump and I can’t bear to live in the real world for more than absolutely necessary.

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you about how I changed my hair up because I’m sick of people putting all their attention towards my weight. I wouldn’t tell you but half the time, I’m so upset over the attention. It makes me want to scream that there’s something “not enough” about me. And I’m sure everyone knows that feeling, so why can’t I deal with it the same way as others?

    Because if we were having coffee I wouldn’t tell you that I’m very upset with myself. I wouldn’t say that I’m trying to keep everything together and smile for the cameras but I’m terrified with everything. That blogging is the only thing that makes me feel like I’m not completely insane. Because when I blog, I feel like have a voice and when I speak, nothing that I really want to say will come out. Instead, I would listen to your conflicted feelings because that’s the kind of person I am. I don’t want to scare you with my irrational problems so in a real conversation, I would smile, wait for the cameras to flash once more and you wouldn’t suspect a thing.

  21. First of all, hiiiii it’s been awhile since the last time. I feel like I haven’t even commented on your blog in a long time too, but I’ve still been reading everything. It’s just been hectic, and the stress of school has been weighing on my blogging and socialness within this community. No more of that!

    You can keep the coffee, but I’ll just grab a hot chocolate and settle in. ๐Ÿ˜€ So if we were hanging out, I’d tell you that right now I’m reading Echo Lake by Carla Neggers. She’s one of my favorite authors, and I just adore this series and all of the characters in it. It’s like coming home after being away for so long.

    I think the last time we talked, I told you that I was graduating this May. But, that uh, didn’t work out and I have another semester. Well, a summer AND fall semester. So most of my summer is going to be about my four classes, which kind of sucks, but it’ll keep me busy. Your plans sound awesome, and I hope you get to do all of them! (Also hope you have a fun time crossing more items off your 30 before 30 list, and if you find a way to tackle your goals, please share it with me–I could use a new motivator).

    If we (you) were having coffee, I’d tell you that I feel you with the house situation. It’s hard, so hard to let go of things loved ones have left behind. It’s so hard to accept change, especially when you feel like you’re not ready to move on and everyone else around you is. Your mom will always be there, tucked into your heart with your memories of her, and I can only imagine what’s going through your mind as you make room for this huge change in you and your family’s life. So I sincerely, sincerely hope that you find peace with it. *hugs*

    I’d tell you that, God yes, job hunting is the worst thing in the world. I’m feeling so discouraged with it right now, and I’m not exactly ready to graduate because I’m questioning the same thing: what do I do with my life next? I feel like I’ve been in school FOREVER. I don’t know how to do anything else.

    I’d tell you that I’m going to BEA this year too, and it will be my first time, and I am SO EXCITED!!! But I’m also scared. Scared to travel alone for the first time on a bus, scared to meet everyone in person because I have this awful insecure feeling that people will be disappointed that this is who they’ve been talking to for months/years now. But what I’m most scared, or more like worried about, is the AFTER BEA part. When I’m home from New York and I don’t have a job and I have another two semesters to pay for. I have hope that everything will work out, but it doesn’t make the worrying any easier, especially when I don’t have that job security going into my vacation.

    Also, I’ve been doing SO bad with working out lately. I don’t know how to keep up the routine. I keep having on and off days, and that is so NOT helpful. So I’d tell you that we could help motivate each other into sticking with it. We can do better!

    And finally, I’d say that I am so, so happy that you are in a more positive place with blogging! You’re one of those bloggers that I hope never stops, because I love your blog and how positive a presence you are in this community. Your posts are so relatable and so honest, and your writing is just so lovely. And I can’t wait to see what comes next!

    Hey this was fun, let’s do it again soon! ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. i work in marketing so I know it can be tough looking for a job. The great thing is, marketing is about being creative with ideas and having a blog gives you a chance to show off some of your skills even if you don’t have job experience. Maybe some of your blogger friends would even let you run marketing campaigns for them so you have some experience? That would intrigue me if I was reading your resume. Or try and get a few freelance jobs such as managing the social media accounts for a small local business, it all helps you stand out and shows initiative! Good luck with the job search anyway!

    • Yeah, my blog is how I got my last job that I got laid off from :/ My blog definitely was what gave me the upper hand. I’ve definitely been toying with the idea of reaching out to local businesses so I think I need to explore that avenue a little more! It’s hard because I DO have job experience but I got laid off and now I’m just nannying to be able to pay bills because nothing has panned out. I am so over it haha

  23. Gosh, this would have been more like 10 coffes! ๐Ÿ˜›

    So. I’m so sorry for your situation regarding your stepdad. I’m happy for him as well, anyone deserves to find happiness and love and so on, but I honestly don’t know how I would behave in a similar predicament. I’ll be off to college next year, for now I still live at home. And though I’ve told my mom (it’s just the two of us) we can move to another house (for various reasons it’s too expensive to stay where we are now) but I know she’ll never consider it and I’m secretly glad of that, for I love the feeling I’ll always have my bedroom and my thins waiting for me at home. But I also know that when I’ll be older I won’t ever move back here, so what will happen to my home? No idea :/
    Hopefully you can talk about it with your dad and agree to leave some things be, so you can still feel your mother’s touch in some things and your place in that home. Sure, they will be moving in but it’s not said that everything has to change.

    About your work, again a predicament I won’t find my self in for another 5 years at least. I feel like suggesting you should start sending out your resume more. It’s a tough spot and you feel like stuck but the initiative has to come from you. If you don’t tae the first step you won’t find another job and you’ll keep nannying. Who knows, maybe you’ll find something that will surprise you ๐Ÿ™‚

    Try to tackle some things of your list this summer! I don’t know how “behind schedule” you are but there are still what, 5 months left? You can totally do some things, right? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Yay for BEA! I won’t be able to go this year (or for the next 2, I’m afraid) since living in another continent is pretty much a deterrent. But I know I will one day! This year I started getting “international” with my blog, so that’s already a huge step for now that needs more working on! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Hugs hugs hugs!
    Frannie

  24. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time right now – I hope it gets better for you.
    And I’m happy that you’ll be a BEA again – I’ll be there too!

  25. I’ll be at BEA this year! Have you considered setting up an advertising program for authors to help monetize your blog? Maybe you could make your blog a full-time income thing.

  26. Jamie!

    I love when you post these even though I rarely reply because I (probably erroneously) feel like I never have anything interesting to say.

    I just finished Hold Me Like a Breath by Tiffany Schmidt and I’m reading Ice by Sarah Beth Durst now and I think I can already say I love both.

    I’m happy that you’re feeling happy about your awesome blog. It’s always important to take some time to re-frame and stay positive about things–especially creative labors of love. This year I want to be a little kinder than I have to be and I’m trying to remember to be happy whenever I can. It’s hard sometimes.

    I’ve taken a page (literally) from Hannah’s book and I’ve started using a notebook to stay organized for things instead of just my phone. I haven’t been at it for long but I think it’s really helping. I really like having random goals and tasks on paper where I can always go back to it or flip through it. This is part of my new effort to train myself to be a better notebook user.

    I’m also trying to reorganize my life so I requested The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing from my library. Maybe I’ll have already magically re-organized my life by the time I climb to the top of the epic hold queue. I think I’m starting by getting rid of clothes that don’t bring me joy and books I don’t need (I’ve discovered the key with that is getting them out of the house immediately before I change my mind). We’ll see.

    I am sure you’re hearing this a lot for your job search (or I hope you are) but any time a job search spans years, I think it’s really important to remember that it has NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with the economy. It took a solid four years for me to find a full-time job after my Master’s and for a lot of reasons that ultimately was the best outcome but it was stressful as hell and super demoralizing in the moment. Taking a break sounds like the exact right thing and it sounds like now you can refocus. I’m sure you do, but mention your blog! It’s basically a primer on marketing and promotion with all of the books you share and the features you started from the ground up. What you do here is amazing and absolutely worth mentioning as job experience and an example of how you are staying on top of your game despite being out of the “real” marketing jobs.

    I really hope that this is going to be your year job-wise and wish you all the best in your search.

    I’ll also be at BEA this year so maybe we’ll be able to work out a real-life meeting this time ๐Ÿ™‚

  27. Nikki Robinson says:

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m not reading anything at the moment. I most recently read Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan, but haven’t been able to start another book because of how busy work has kept me. Tonight is my one night off, and I’m not sure it’s worth starting a book when I have to work the next three nights and will have a busy weekend. :\
    I’d tell you that I’m getting married at the end of May, so we’re taking a two week trip to Europe at the beginning of June. That’s all I have in the way of summer plans.
    I’d tell you that I’m a slacker and don’t set goals. It’s hard enough right now just living day to day with all that I have to do with work. Not only is our schedule insane because we’re short staffed, but there all of the classes and inservices we have to do. I don’t have time for goals. The only goal I have and keep up with is my goodreads reading goal. Which I’m doing great on so far.
    I’d tell you I’m sorry about the situation with your step-father. I’d try to be supportive and listen even though I don’t know what that’s like.
    I’d tell you I think it’s okay you don’t know what you want to do with your life. Just keep your head up and you’ll figure it out. Cliche, I know. But true. Just keep searching for jobs and sending resumes when something interesting shows up. If they don’t want to hire you because they think it’s been too long since you had a “real” job, that’s their loss. The perfect job will show up, sooner or later. Gosh, I’m so sorry for the cliches.
    I’d tell you my exercise routine is called being a nurse at night and sleeping all the time and only eating twice a day. But I don’t do real exercise. I’d encourage you to find something you like. I looked into blogilates but couldn’t keep up with it because of my weird schedule and time restraints. Yoga is nice when I can do it, but I can’t put that much stress on my joints at this time.
    I’d tell you I wish I had a schedule that was more consistent so I could spend time with the few friends I still actually have. I might even tell you that I feel disconnected and like I’ve lost all the important people in my life.
    I’d tell you I’m just a reader, but love the posts the bloggers I follow post after BEA.
    I’d tell you that I love this feature on your blog.

  28. If we were having coffee, we would have great convo, there would be no gaps, time would fly by like nothing. I see so much “get real” in these words, which is awesome because I’ve been in such a get-real mood lately in my own IRL, which is totally all over my poor facebook wall. Anyway, I can’t even try to respond to everything that you’ve put in italics here in this comment box except to say I SEE YOU and I can’t wait to *SEE YOU soon, oh my goodness what a joy that will be. This blog post, these words, I love them. I’m sending you great thoughts and prayers, sweet friend, all of the warm weather that I’m having and the beautiful colors of spring, and I’m just a little message away anytime! xx

  29. I’m a recruiter and actually have a lot of job-related tips I could share, probably! I will say that I look at bunches and bunches of resumes each day. Big gaps in employment don’t always look the best, so you’re right in that thought, unfortunately – HOWEVER the fact that you have a nannying job means that you’re not just sitting on your thumb at home, which is always more important when we’re looking at resumes! I majored in Marketing too, so I know where you’re coming from. Something I’d suggest is looking into consulting – maybe social media consulting for small local businesses? You can add that to your resume as a job and it’ll show recent, relevant marketing experience. If you want any more tips or want me to expand on any of this, feel free to tweet me or shoot me an email and I’ll help :D!

  30. If we were having coffee (or a very large glass of wine)… I’d tell you that since finishing The Winners Crime I have found it so hard to get into reading another book. There are so many books that I need to read for blog tours and I just can’t find the motivation!

    If we were having coffee (or a very large glass of wine)… I’d tell you that I too am very excited about my Spring/Summer plans. It seems to be that I have become so much more outgoing since meeting my new boyfriend and I love how much stuff I am discovering that is going on around where I live (mostly food festivals, which are AMAZING!).

    If we were having coffee (or a very large glass of wine)… I’d tell you that I love making myself lists of things to achieve, and then I loose said list and find it again an entire year later and see all the things that I never got round to doing. So then I make myself a new list, which gets lost and the whole things starts again. Life is flexible, make it work around you. It’s not against the rules to change you list to ‘Things to do before I’m 35’ if you so please!

    If we were having coffee (or a very large glass of wine)… I’d tell you that I went through a massive dark mood time in regards to blogging from like August to November last year and very nearly gave up. But stuck at it, and after making a few changes to the way I blog I am now super motivated and have gotten back that love that I originally had for blogging again ๐Ÿ™‚

    If we were having coffee (or a very large glass of wine)… I would totally give you a massive hug and we would chink our coffee cups (*cough* wine glasses *cough*) to your mum. I would agree with you that change totally sucks, but that everything happens for a reason and maybe you have a positive waiting just around the corner.

    If we were having coffee (or a very large glass of wine)… I’d tell you that I went through 3 years of uni with the thought of getting a job in media at the end of it. Then I started my blog and fell in love with the idea of doing a job that was somehow involved with books. Now I am working in an office 9-5 typing lots of important (and totally boring) documents out all day but I actually kind of love it. I’d say find something you enjoy doing, and even if it wasn’t in your original plans just carry on with it. If you like nannying then keep at it, if not then do something about it!

    If we were having coffee (or a very large glass of wine)… I’d tell you that I just started doing a weekly 5k and I’m actually liking it (which is extremely strange because I hate exercise) The only problem seems to be that with my liking for exercise I also seem to have picked up a liking for chocolate and I CANNOT stop buying & eating it!

    If we were having coffee (or a very large glass of wine)… I would tell you that friends are the best and it doesn’t matter if you have loads or just one! I love my best friend and have no idea what I would do without her.

    If we were having coffee (or a very large glass of wine)… I would say that I am extremely jealous, stuck here in the UK, not able to go to BEA. But I do have tickets for the Young Adult Literature Convention (YALC) in London for the 2nd year running, and I am EXCITED!

    FINALLY

    If we were having coffee (or a very large glass of wine)… I would tell you how awesome this feature is and I can’t wait to read the next one! ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. Jamie, if we were having coffee I’d cry while you told me about your step-dad, and then I’d give you a really long hug. It’s hard being part of the Kid Who’s Lost a Parent Club, isn’t it? As if it isn’t bad enough to live with that ache and the feeling like something’s always missing, and to deal with your memories fading or playing tricks on you as time passes, but then to have the physical reminders change or disappear too? It’s so, so hard. For what it’s worth, know that I’m thinking about you. <3

    If we were having coffee, I'd tell you that I failed miserably at my own 30 Before 30 list. Part of it is because some of the things were unrealistic, and part of it was because I hurt my back really badly that year and COULDN'T do a lot of the things on my list. I was disappointed in myself for awhile and then I realized it didn't define who I was and it was supposed to be something FUN but I'd turned it into something way more complicated than it needed to be. So cut yourself some slack and try to have fun with it…it sounds like you have some super fun stuff coming up this spring and summer, plus you never really know what's just around the corner, so you might cross everything else off with ease…and if you don't, don't be too hard on yourself. ๐Ÿ˜‰ <3

  32. Jaime, this is a great idea. I am the sentimental kind, so I feel you with having to vacate your childhood home that hold so many memories for you and your sister. That’s tough and I’m sorry. Also, I hope you are coming to BEA15 because I’ll be there and would love to meet you!

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I’m in my brother’s wedding. It’s a month away. Soon to be sister in law just dropped a $200 bomb on me last night. She says I have to get my hair done by her stylist, nails done, and makeup done. It’s going to cost me $200. I was totally not expecting this. Husband and I are trying to save for a house. I’m on a book buying ban. I’d rather spend that $200 on books – not hair, nails, and makeup which I’ll sweat off in an hour. Also, I have a pixie cut and I’m paying $60 for someone to braid an inch of hair. My word, I’m just not ready to drop that kind of change, but how do I tell her that – she’s a bride with a month until her wedding, oh and she’s also pregnant, so I really don’t want to stress her out. Just a bad situation. Thanks for listening, Jaime.

  33. If we were having coffee I would tell you to have a talk with your stepdad, like Alyssa suggested on Twitter. Not at the house, but somewhere else. My mother dragged me out of my fabulous college apartment with a housemate I adored, to come home and help her with my little sister and taking care of the house, when my stepfather died. Four months later she was getting remarried and told me I had to find somewhere to go and take all my stuff, in a month, because they needed my room for his son. The son proceded to destroy the house and be so mean to my little half-sister that a year later she had to move in with me! Anyway, that man is dead now, and his son not around and my mother sits in her destroyed house wondering why my sister and I do not have a close relationship with her anymore. You jeed to tell him how much he has meant in your life, and ask if you and your sister can at least stay close separate from the new wife and family. As for your career I would say GET OFF YOUR BUTT, DEAR! I am a musician and I had found an easy job in a hotel with horrible hours that prevented me from doing even local bar gigs, but it was stable and as you said “helped pay the bills.” Anyway, I was still in that job when I got pregnant and then was a stay at home mom for 13 years, so I threw away my chances to be a self-supporting professional. If your heart is really into being a career woman, don’t stay in a job that has nothing to do with your goals. (((HUGS)))