If We Were Having Coffee

I saw a life coach I love, Ashley, do a post entitled If We Were Having Coffee and I decided to take her lead and do one myself in November 2013 because I loved it and sometimes I feel like we forget that there is a whole life behind the people that write and read blogs. I got such a great response to my initial post so I made it a  reoccurring thing for the past couple of years and do it when I feel so inclined!


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So, grab your coffee/beverage of your choice and meet me for a chat. I’ve got a hard root beer right now (AMAZINGNESS but dangerous because you forget it’s booze).

If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’m currently reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and just starting the second book in the Vampire Academy series.  I’d ask you what you are currently reading!

If we were having coffee.… I’d tell you that even though I’ve been doing a little bit of traveling/vacationing this summer I am in one of these moods where I’m so antsy because I want to be everywhere in the world right now. I just get frustrated by the fact that in order to travel you need money (which lol at my bank account right now) and in order to get money you need a job….oh and most jobs give you like NOT ENOUGH VACATION TIME. I just want to explore and go places and I follow too many travel blogs and people who are traveling right now and the wanderlust is so, so strong. It’s always strong but it’s like this unbearable sort of strong right now. I’m trying to plan my trip to Spain next year but I just can’t because I WANT TO GO NOW.  Is this normal human behavior? IDK BECAUSE WILL DOESN’T GET LIKE THIS. He wants to go places but he isn’t like physically pained and antsy like I am.

If we were having coffee.… I’d tell you that I’ve decided Will and I are going to start home brewing beer. On vacation my cousin and his girlfriend were talking about how they do it and brought us some (it was an amazing saison) and I’m like OMG WE ARE DOING THIS. 1) we love beer and 2) I decided we needed a hobby to do together. We have a ton of our hobbies that we do separately and then we have like THINGS we enjoy together and do together but nothing that’s a ~hobby~. I’d ask you, if you were OF AGE, what’s the last great beer you had/if you home brew or know anybody that does. I’d also ask, if you were married or dating, if you have a hobby that you do as a couple!

If we were having coffee…. Id tell you that I cleaned out my clothes in my closet this past week using the KonMari method (the cleaning book I was talking about further up) and MAN did I have a lot of clothes. I’m really bad about getting rid of clothes. More so than books (I’ve talked about my ruthlessness before). I really struggled with it. You are supposed to ask yourself if  the item “sparks joy” and only keep what does. Well, the problem is that I can’t tell if something sparks joy or if my clothes hoarding voice is CREATING a sense of joy when I think about it. UGH UGH UGH. It’s so hard. I would say I got rid of about 40% of my clothes and shoes. I know I could have done better but it’s good enough for me right now. I’m going to continue on with it for the rest of my items but oof that was hard. I’d ask you if you’ve done the KonMari method (ALL THE RAGE RIGHT NOW) and if you are also a clothing hoarder. Like seriously I had stuff in there from high school and early college years which was like circa 2002-2008. OOF.

If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that I’ve been craving a really good non-fiction title. I don’t even really care what about. I want to learn about anything. I want to just read something interesting! I’d ask you for recs!!

If we were having coffee… I’d tell you about my efforts to try and create a nice, relaxing morning routine and how maybe it works like 30% of the time. I think I’m destined to have the kind of morning routine where I wake up miserably and late and rush around and eat my eggs in the car while trying to remember if I brushed my hair at all this morning only to realize no I didn’t and oh hey I don’t even have a hairband on my wrist when typically I have like 5 on each wrist somehow. In my head I envision these peaceful mornings with the sun shining in and I do some yoga (I don’t even do yoga) and I sip my tea and listen to Enya (is Enya still around?) and like create wonderful shit before 7am. HOW HARD IS THAT, SELF? I’d ask you what your morning routine is like!

If we were having coffee….I’d tell you how Will and I really need to make friends with other dating/married couples. All the couple friends were part of the group that we are no longer part of and the few others we had either a) broke up or b) moved away (our last couple friend who moved to Spain last week). HOW DO YOU FIND COUPLE FRIENDS? THERE SHOULD BE AN APP FOR THIS….an app to like “date” other couples to find a good match. I just miss having another couple to go out and do things with. It’s really hard to make friends in general at this age. It used to be so easy…WOAH COOL SPARKLY SHOES LET’S BE FRIENDS! INSTA BESTIES ON THE PLAYGROUND. Maybe this still works as an adult? IDK maybe I will try it.


If we were having coffee….I’d you that I feel like I’m finding it harder to find new FAVORITE books and movies. I LIKE and even super LOVE a lot of things I consume but I’m having a hard time finding those life changing things that just stop you in your tracks and just speak to every cell in your entire body and you don’t know how you possibly lived life without having experienced it before. I don’t know if it’s just that I’m hard to impress BECAUSE I consume so many books and entertainment or what but UGH…I want that FEELING. Do you know that feeling? I’d ask you what the last thing that gave you that feeling was.

If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that I’ve been having a hard time with nostalgia lately. I don’t know why. I’m just suddenly MISSING things and people and moments from the past (really really missing my college years…I felt so free then). The way things were. I love the way things are SO MUCH and am so happy with who I am but I’m also yearning for different parts of who I was before. I don’t know if it’s that I’m turning 30 in a couple of months but the nostalgia is starting to weigh on me. When I was cleaning my closet out and I’d pull out these clothes all these memories just came flooding back — my trip to Europe, dates with Will when we were in college, moments with friends I’m no longer friends with. GAH. MAKE IT STOP. I have nostalgia feels every now and again but these are so strong lately. I’d ask you what the hell was wrong with me. But rhetorically speaking obviously. I mean, unless you are a psychologist and can tell me what’s literally wrong with me.


If we were having coffee…what would you tell me? Come on…lay it all out! It’s just you, me, the pleasant sounds of a cafe…and maybe some other eyes in the comment section but NBD right?? Our we can have coffee in my inbox if you don’t feel comfortable. I really want to know! What’s going on with you?

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About Jamie

Jamie is a 32 year old married lady (with a new baby!!) who is in denial that she's actually that old to be a married lady and a mom. When she's not reading you can find her doing Pilates followed by eating ice cream, belting out Hamilton (loud and offkey) and having adventures with her husband, daughter and rescue dog.


  1. Yay for another coffee (*cough* hot chocolate *cough*) post!

    Okay, for starters, I am currently reading The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater and I am IN LOVE. I’m supposed to be reading ARCs and stuff (and I do wanna get through my BEA ones as quickly as possible), and I do still wanna read Truthwitch soonish, but man I needed a Maggie book. It’s been so long, and I haven’t been able to reread The Raven Cycle like I planned, so I just decided to say “screw it” and started it last night and I couldn’t stop. It’s a library book so it has a due date, and that can be my excuse, can’t it? :p

    Secondly, I feel you with the wanderlust! When I went to New York and BEA, as much as I hated traveling alone, I really loved being away from my little village and all of my worries and responsibilities. It was SO FUN just being a tourist again, going to new places, seeing different things, meeting strangers (even if I could barely speak because hello social awkward penguin me). And now I just wanna get out of my state and go everywhere! It’s a problem because MONEY and SCHOOL and MONEY. So yeah, I’d totally say it’s normal. 😀 I just don’t know how to let go of it because it’s not possible for me right now.

    I’ve also been feeling nostalgic. Funny story: I recently got the urge to play a GameCube game I hadn’t since high school, so I made my cousin hunt for ours and he found it. AND IT WAS WORKING. So now I’ve been playing games from like middle school and high school (one was set to 2007 and I was just like whoaaaaa did I travel back into the past or what?) and it’s made me really nostalgic. And I keep thinking about how much I loved *those days* and how I wish it was easier again. When I didn’t have to be an adult, when friendships seemed to not fizzle out so quickly, when I could just play video games all day and it would be totally normal. My life is SO DIFFERENT now and there’s been so much change, and it’s kinda hard when you look back and wish things had stayed the same.

    I’d tell you what I’m trying to tell myself: that things can only go up from here. That maybe a friendship hadn’t worked out so it could make room for one that’ll change your life. That being an adult gives you more room for endless possibilities than if you were still a kid. But, you know, it’s HARD. It’s hard letting go. It’s hard making room for change. There is something really comforting about familiarity and holding onto the past. I’d say that it’s totally normal to feel nostalgia! But the best part is that we can make the here and now better (which is something I have to constantly remind myself of). And I’d say that I hope the fun things you have planned/want to do, and the beer hobby with Will, help stave off those feelings of nostalgia.

    And lastly, I wanted to comment on the “not finding new FAVES thing” because I think I’ve been feeling that myself lately. It’s really hard, especially with books, to impress me because I read SO MANY. They all kind of blur together after awhile, and it’s so hard to find one now that just gives me that feeling of total and unconditional love, something that I can’t let go of once I’ve finished reading (or watching) it. Something that I just OBSESS over. I’m pretty sure the last book that did that to me was Six of Crows back in June, which is fairly recently, but I can’t think of many off the top of my head. I’m kind of LOOKING for that feeling again, and I may have found it in the TV show, Sense8. If you haven’t tried it yet, I highly recommend. It is AMAZING, very unique, confusing at times, so diverse, and SO important. And it has excellent character arcs.

    Thanks for the coffee date! Let’s chat again soon. 🙂 also I hope you are enjoying Vampire Academy #2 (for the life of me, I can’t think of the name). I LOVED the first book and really want to finish the series soon.

    • When you’re writing in the box, you don’t realize how long your comment is until it posts… Whoops.

    • Heheh I always do that. I hit send and my reply is like longer than the person’s post. LOVE IT.

      Ooh Scorpio Races! That atmospheric qualities of that book. WOAHS.

      Ugh wanderlust. It’s so hard to tame.

      Ahh GameCube. I’d give anything to have my Super Nintendo back!! Man, those days WERE easier in a lot of ways.

      I like your “Things can only go up from here” sentiment. So many possibilities as an adult for sure! I just need to remember to keep getting outside of my comfort zone.

      • Oops I hit send too soon.

        Re: favorite: I am equally happy and sad that you can understand my lack of new faves. GAH yes sooo many books blur together. UGH. Ooh I have Sense8 on my watch list so YAY!

  2. Right now I’m reading the Mara Dyer trilogy and I’m on the second one. I’m intrigued so far but I haven’t had time to get truly absorbed in it yet. I’m running out of time though so I should get to it.
    We went to NYC for vacation this year and I never wanted to leave. I always want to travel and just be on an endless adventure / journey with people I like. But like you said, money. And time.
    I suck at cleaning out my closet. It’s like that tumblr post about owning thousands of t shirts, wearing five, and never wanting to get rid of any.
    I don’t read a lot of nonfiction but one that I did like is called ‘ Quiet ‘ by Susan Cain. It’s about introversion and it’s pretty interesting. I would recommend.
    My morning routine when I have to work is lazing around until I realize that I have to get ready, mildly rushing, and never failing to leave a few minutes late.
    Ooh! A TV show that I found recently that gives me feels every episode is Sense 8. It’s a Netflix original series and it’s so good. Watch the trailers at the very least.
    I’m also feeling the nostalgia right now. But the sad-ish kind because I’m leaving for college in two weeks. It kinda sucks because I don’t want to be sad and I shouldn’t be sad. But I can’t help it. I’m trying not to feel it by nit thinking about college or only thinkin about the exciting things, but it’s not really working so far. And I know I’ll get over it kind of when I get into things, but do you have any advice at all for this?
    I love these ‘ having coffee ‘ posts by the way. It’s really nice and even though I don’t usually respond, I love the invitation for an in-depth conversation. I was drinking water, since I’don’t just finished my coffee before you posted this, in case you were wondering. Exciting I know.

    • I still need to finish that series! The first book I read in day but…that was years ago.

      OMG YES. I was looking at my clothes and I’m like I wear like 20% of my closet maybe. Maybe a little more. But like I’m like “but one day I might need to wear these!!”

      Oh thanks for reminding me about Quiet! That did sound interesting!

      lol your routine sounds a lot like mine

      I’ve had Sense8 on my “to watch” list but you and another commenter just mentioned it so I need to really get on that!

      I think it’s okay to let yourself feel the way you do right now about leaving for college. It’s an exciting yet scary time…so many possibilities and unknown before you and the first REAL big life change you really make as a young adult. Is there anything specific that is making you sad? Leaving family/friends? Change in general? leaving what is safe and familiar?

      I’m so happy you come chat with me! And honestly….I drink water like most of my day! Water is my fave. Truly. I’m drinking water with lemon and orange in it right now! 🙂

  3. If we were having tea… I’d tell you that I’m reading nothing and haven’t since I finished “The Heir” back towards the middle of July. I’m in a slump.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that I get frustated by the fact that you need money to travel and in order to get money you need a job, and having a job means you can’t really take time off to travel, too.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell that I’m a mild clothing hoarder. I have some stuff from high school and it just kind of sits in the back of my closet haha. It’s that little voice inside my head going, “But what if you need this someday?!” haha. I think I’m more of a shoe hoarder though.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that I don’t have a morning routine, because I wake up in the afternoon haha. But it’s because I go to bed around 4 AM to 5 AM. But when I do wake up, I usually wake up w/ my heart racing because I’m being ripped out of sleep/dreamland.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that I sent you a really long email, oops haha.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that I definitely know that feeling. I watch SO much tv and read so many books, that I’m just really hard to impress now. I tend to figure out what’s going to happen before it actually happens. I think the last book that felt like it “changed” me is the Just One Day duology w/ the novella.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that nostalgia really is a b*tch. I’ve been having it a lot lately too.

    • Aww girl I hope your slump goes away!! Just ride it out and hopefully you’ll read when you are ready! I’m glad I’m not the only one who still has stuff from high school (and college)!! The worst part is I’ve totally started wearing old stuff again. SIGH.

      DAMN…you go to bed at 4/5 am ?? That’s like what time WIll gets up! And 5:30 is what time my alarm is for!

      Totally going to reply to your email at some point. INBOX IS CRAZY AFTER VACATION.

      Yasssss Just one Day changed my life.

  4. Jamie, I *literally* just copied your “If We Were Having Coffee” idea YESTERDAY on my blog (read it here: http://jackieleasommers.com/2015/08/07/if-we-were-having-coffee-stress-nerves-so-much-delight).

    For a non-fiction book rec, read Wind, Sky and Stars by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. I just read it for research for my next novel, and it was really pretty mind-blowing. It was really dense– not a light read, by any means– but tremendously rich.

    You’re the best.

  5. If we were having coffee…

    I’d tell you I’m still trying to get through Fangirl and it’s going along very slowly.

    I’d tell you that just the other night I was talking with some friends about how we want to travel and just go places. I, however, am without a passport. And money. So life is lol at me. 🙂 I’d also ask you to tell me some of these travel blogs because I would love to see them. Oh my gosh, you’re trying to go to Spain? That’s so funny! The other night, a friend said they wanted to go to Spain and later when I was asked where I wanted to go, I said Spain was one of my answers! I know what you mean though, I JSUT WANT TO GO EVERYWHERE. IT IS TOTALLY NORMAL. WILL IS WEIRD FOR NOT BEING ANTSY. I say that with kindness. 😉

    I’d tell you that I don’t drink much (rarely) and I don’t really care for beer (at all). But home brewing sounds really cool. Literally, that sounds like something cool people would do. I am not married or dating so…there’s nothing I’d do as a couple. 🙁

    I’d tell you I haven’t done the KonMari method before but it sounds great! I’m not a clothing hoarder at all, I barely buy clothes. Lol. I’m just not a clothes shopper. 🙁 Also, that gif? Awesome.

    If we were having coffee I’d have to disappoint you and tell you I don’t have any recs but I’m getting interested in the Romonavs, Stonewall and the Tsar rulers.

    Enya is still totally around….well, I mean, I used to listen to her. 🙂 If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I really don’t have a morning routine, I’m not a morning person at all.

    Aw, I hope you guys find couple friends. 🙁 I was trying to figure out how you make friends when you’re A. Not in college, B. Not dating, C. Don’t have a job and E. Don’t really leave the house, ha…

    I’d tell you the last thing that gave me that feeling was The Night We Said Yes by Lauren Gibaldi. As for movies, I’m stuck there too. 🙁

    I’d tell you I’m in that same nostalgic boat with you. Reading Fangirl kicks the nostalgia boat into speed because I JUST WANT TO BE IN THE COLLEGE DORMS AGAIN. And I’d say nothing’s wrong with you.

    As for me…

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that this blogging hiatus I’m on is really helping me, I don’t feel the pressure to make posts every other day or anything.

    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that it’s getting really hard to still be living “with my parents” (at home, or is it “at home” since I live here now?).

    Great post. 🙂

    • Some of my fave travel blogs: Adventurous Kate, Candice Does the World, Young Adventuress, Alex in Wanderland and Twenty Something Travel to name a few! And yeahhh Spain. We’ve both wanted to go and our friends just moved there so it makes so much sense!

      If you find any good non fic books about those subjects let me know!!

      MAKING FRIENDS IS SO HARD. That’s why internet friends are so great most of the time. I don’t have to leave my house or wear a bra lolol

      Reading The Night We Said Yes right now actually!! Have you ever watched Amelie? It’s one of my favorite movies ever. I just watched Wish I Was Here (I love Zach Braff so much…Garden State anybody ones of my all time faves) and really enjoyed that one!! The last movie that made me have ALL THE FEELS was Begin Again which got mixed reviews I think but I freaking loved it.

      OMG FANGIRL KILLED ME WITH THE COLLEGE NOSTALGIA> I JUST WANT TO GO DO COLLEGE AGAIN. It was so fun and new and exciting. Even when I was studying and stressed. I loved it.

      GOOD. I am so pro-blogging vacations and hiatuses. Even if it’s just one day in a week and you just don’t feel like doing a post. I try to schedule 2 blogging vacations per year (typically once in the summer and once around Christmas) and then I give myself a decent amount of “blog sick days”. Like I typically post Sunday, M, T, W, Thurs and not on Friday or Saturday but if the night before if I don’t feel like finishing a post or just not feeling like working on the blog I let myself call in sick haha

      Ah I feel you. I lived at home for quite a while until Will and I got married. Luckily for me it was just my step-dad and I and we got along great. But still the feeling of living at home when I was like BUT SHOULDN’T MY FUN ADULT LIFE BE STARTING?? I felt so inferior and jealous of my peers who were living by themselves. BUT I will say Will and I saved a lot of money by living at home until we got married. Soooo hang in there! Pros and cons!

  6. Love the idea of “if we were having coffee”! I would tell you I am reading a great non fiction title in The Sixth Extinction, the non fiction Pulitzer winner, its one I can recommend, very accessible science read. I also just finished a great art history title about forgery, The art of Forgery by Noah Charney.
    I know what you mean about the couple friend thing and I don’t know the solution, maybe that is also tied in with your nostalgia thing at the moment.

  7. re: Nonfiction recs

    I’ve just really started to get into nonfiction this year. I would recommend Missoula by Jon Krakauer, Citizen by Claudia Rankine, and We Should All Be Feminists by Chimananda Ngozi Adichie. A few on my radar I’m hoping to get to soon are: Between the World And Me; The New Jim Crow, and FIve Days At Memorial. Hope there’s something in here that strikes your fancy!

  8. I’m currently reading The Secrets We Keep by Trisha Leaver which I was TOTALLY LOVING like the first half of the book and am now just kinda….okay, what’s gonna end up happening here? But I’m feeling a lot less invested which is BOO.

    I totally understand where you’re coming from regarding wanting so badly to travel and experience the world, yet either not having the money or time off work (or both). Travel is such a high priority for me and so worth saving tons of money for. I’m constantly browsing for beautiful locations, resorts, etc and get so excited about all these trips I have planned in my head. But for whatever reason my boyfriend just doesn’t feel travel is such a priority, which totally disappoints me.

    It’s so hard to find good friends as an adult! My bf and I just moved across the country about two months ago and I haven’t been able to find a single friend yet 🙁 Have you tried the website meetup.com? There’s tons of groups on there for literally anything, whether it’s a new book club, a hiking group, or just a happy hour/brunch/etc meetup for you and Will to try together, it might be a good way for you guys to get out and meet people together, and maybe even find a new hobby too!

  9. If we were having coffee… well cold tea for me, I’d tell you that I also have a big case of wanderlust and I worry that I won’t ever be able to visit all the wonderful places I’ve wanted to visit for so long, but I’m making it a point of trying to juggle my schedule and my budget to visit at least two new places each year! And I’m hoping to start saving to ride the Orient Express in two years! There are many places and things I wanted to do with my ex, when we moved together (long distance relationship) but now that it is over, I will work on doing them and visiting them on my own. It sucks that travelling solo is way more expensive so I plan to drag along either one of my nephews with be since they’re both over 20!

    If we were having cold tea… I’d tell you that brewing beer is a fantastic hobby! I have a friend that turned the hobby into a business with her bf and I love their beer! So far they have pale ale, irish stout and larger, and I love them! It’s a shitload of work for them but it’s growing and I do hope it’ll be a success because the beer is really good! But as a hobby, it’ll be wonderful! You can experiment and learn and travel to tastings and seminars, you’ll have a blast I’m sure!

    If we were having cold tea… I’d tell you that with my move to my own apartment I’ve cleared quite a lot of clothes, but I’ve also realized I might need to do another clean up next spring and leave some space in my closets! I do own many clothes but I don’t feel like getting rid of any of the ones I’ve kept this time… but with a few more months of time, who knows?

  10. If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that it’s really hard to find your tribe and that couple friends will pop up when you least expect them. But you will find them! I’ve been married 8 years and we just fell into a groove in last six months with two couples we met through our kids’ preschool 2 years ago. The most authentic friendships can’t be rushed. We tried for years to find couple friends- many of our friends were married or dating but it just never clicked before now.
    As for the decluttering-it’s so freeing isn’t it? I love the idea of thanking an object for its usefulness and then letting it go. When I first heard that I rolled my eyes but it truly is a great method!
    I’d tell you that I just finished Mindy Kaling’s first book. It was fine. I read so much nonfiction for school that I’ve been devouring YA novels all summer. I just finished Jessica verdi’s what you left behind. SO good. Possibly a new favorite.

  11. I love post like these.
    If we were having coffee (or tea depending on my mood) I’d tell you that I am currently reading The Well of Ascension by Brandon Sanderson and I have no idea what to expect from this book.

    If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that I am with you with that sense of Wanderlust. Having just finished university I’ve got that urge to see more of the world, especially since the last time I went abroad was when I was 6. However, to go traveling I need money, and to get money I need a job and living in a small rural village there’s not a lot of jobs available at the moment so I’m floating at the moment.

    If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that my mum and dad sometimes make wine and the Elder-flower wine they make is a heavenly delight. I’m a big wine fan and if I’m not drinking wine, I’m on the cocktails. I’d also tell you that I am currently single and I’m not in a rush to find anyone right now and I’m more in the mind set of just going with the flow.

    If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that I’ve been putting off cleaning and re-organizing my room purely because it’s so cluttered and I just don’t have the patience to sort through EVERYTHING. My mission is to complete this task by the end of August.

    If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that the only non-fiction books I’ve read are the ones I used to write my dissertation and my conclusion is that historians are dull, well their writing is, the topic was actually quite interesting.

    If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that my morning routine is pretty boring. I’ll either be very tired and nursing my morning cup of tea or I’ll be rushing around the house, stressed and tired. Although I do thing yoga in the morning would be quite a nice way to start the day. It’d get me motivated at least.

    With regards to making new friends I still have no idea how to do that. If I do meet someone new I’d say I’m quite awkward and shy at first but then I’d eventually open up if I got to know the person better. I’m trying to figure out how to maintain a long distance friendship.

    If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that the last book to give me that feeling would be I’ll Meet You There by Heather Demetrios.

    If we were having coffee…I’d tell you I too have been feeling very nostalgic. Having just graduated I’m still trying to get used to the fact that me and my friends are all going our separate ways. That the three years we spent together have come to an end and I don’t really know what to do now that my academic career is done. I can already feel some of the friendships I made slipping away. The fact that my youngest cousin is off to university this September doesn’t help cause it makes me think of all the fun times we had as kids and how we don’t see each other as much as we used to.

    If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that I very much enjoyed this chat and I hope that you’re enjoying Vampire Academy (a book I’ve been on the fence about reading) and that I need to go make myself another cup of tea. Have a wonderful day. 😀

  12. If we were having coffee (although I’d rather have green tea, so I’m gonna go with that instead), I would tell you my life goals and childhood dreams – nah, I would probably fangirl about my favorite books:)

  13. I love this series you do. This is my first time commenting, but I always read through them when you post them. 🙂

    Anyways, I will say that finding couples are hard. And it becomes easier and harder once you have kids. I feel like I made a ton of new friends when I had my daughter because it was easy to bond over the kids. But it also gets harder because suddenly everyone is so much more busy…especially as the kids get older. Not sure that really helps you now, though! LOL. Does your city have meet ups? Or maybe start a new hobby together that is social…like bowling! Ok, maybe not bowling, but something like that you can both do with other couples. 🙂

    As for non-fiction, I always recommend Mary Roach’s books. They are interesting and oftentimes funny too. She has a bunch out. I liked Gulp and Stiff the best.

    Oh, god. I feel you on the traveling. I am the same way as you…I get physically antsy if I don’t do some traveling. We were fortunate enough to go to Ireland this past May…and I’m already thinking of when we can travel again. Of course, I’m taking a break from working right now, so that doesn’t help with travel expenses! And the tough part is we’ve been invited to like 3-4 places this year: San Francisco to visit my Sister in law, Key West for a friend’s 40th, Vegas for New Years, Toronto to visit my other sister in law and family. We also are considering Hawaii…and my daughter is angling for Disneyland. Oof.

    Let’s see…what would I tell you? I would say that I’m struggling between being busy all the time and then frustrated about not being able to DO ALL THE THINGS! I want to have down time, but then feel like I’m not seeing my friends as much as I want. I can’t win. LOL

  14. Regarding the nostalgia (as I do have a degree in psychology, haha) — there is nothing wrong with you. Most people experience massive amounts of nostalgia around big milestones. Nostalgia for that first date feel the night before a wedding, nostalgia about fantastic trips shortly after coming back from an intensely planned one, nostalgia about holidays in childhood during the holiday season, nostalgia at birthdays and anniversaries. I really do think it’s the Turning Thirty (!) bit that’s hitting you. You’re not near those friends or that environment anymore — REALLY not near it — which means you can’t walk out into the hall and knock on a door filled with people your age, or wander outside and be in that collegiate setting, or have wild nights out not caring about expenses or bills or adulting just yet. When you were younger, I bet you had expectations of what life would be like at 20, at 30, at 40. And life NEVER meets those expectations, good or bad. You probably saw your life at 30 completely different from the reality you’re in now, and you’re adjusting to that. That’s…probably what sparked the nostalgia.

  15. I am currently preparing to start the very first Alanna book by Tamora Pierce. I was planning to read it this weekend but OH MY GOSH this weekend got crazy and I had absolutely no time. I have never read any of her books and the person who had me last round of Secret Sister sent it to me because it’s her favorite. Pretty excited for it.

    You are not alone in the area of wanderlust. As of this moment my sister is moving to California (I am from MN so it’s kind of a big deal) and my brother in law is moving to Spokane. I just see them taking these huge leaps and exploring places that they have never even been to (seriously, they have never been to these places and just went out for school on a whim kinda) and I am a bit jealous. I just realize how much of even our country I have not seen and want to see and how I feel so stuck in the bubble of what is familiar (I moved from MN to WI so not a lot of difference). I really want to explore and if I could find a job that would just hand me tons of vacation time or paid me to travel around then I would be all for it (and by that I mean they would pay me to travel and do the things that I want to do).

    I am not 100% sure what the last good beer I had was, but a recent favorite of mine is called The Lonely Blonde. I believe it’s a local Minnesota beer and it is so good. I have seen so many people talking about home brewing and I had asked my husband if that would be something he would want to do and he was not really for it. I am not sure why because we both love beer and it could be fun, but oh well.

    I have been trying to clean out my closet lately but I have been using the “OMG when is the last time I even wore that and thought I looked good” approach. It is successful only about 40% of the time, but it’s a process I think no matter if you use a particular method or if you just go in there and start pitching things. I just worry that I will eventually realize how little I wear or that I will assume this means I need new clothes (because I know that will come). But good for you! That can always be hard and stressful.

    I have not yet found the best way to master a good morning routine. The last time I had one was when I was working retail and that was because the earliest I would work was 9:30 so I had time to fully wake up and everything. These days I have to be at work at 7:45 and it is hard for me to get out the door. If you ever discover the secret to that please do share.

    I also have not found the best way to find couple friends. This is something that I feel we are struggling with. For so long my husband and I were the only ones married in our group of friends (and before married we were the only ones dating). And then we moved away (and so did a lot of them) so we never really had any couple friends. We have one couple that we have become friends with now and I never realized how much I would enjoy it. I always thought that couples needing other couples was a myth (I remember a whole episode about this on How I Met Your Mother so I just felt like it was a hoax) but oh my gosh it is so true. Once again, if you find the secret to success in this area please do share.

    The last book that gave me that gut feeling that I knew it would be an all time favorite was The Wrath and the Dawn. I have noticed that I like a lot of things, but there is always just that one series that takes my breath away. For awhile it was the Scarlet series, but since that ended this year I was kind of left with this empty feeling in that regard (oh my gosh I sound so pathetic but I have clue how else to explain it). TWATD totally blew me away and took that spot with the swoony romance and with a crazy plot and with my NEED to find out what happens next SOON. I absolutely adored it and still wonder if I am suffering from a book hangover (I believe I read this one in May or June).

    I am also kind of struggling with this nostalgia right now and I can’t tell if it’s an issue or not. I mean I love to look back at things and think of how nice that moment was and whatnot, but lately it is definitely rocking my emotions a bit. My best friend from high school just got married this weekend and that had me reminiscing a lot about our friendship and how I still miss that friendship (he lives a couple hundred miles away from me and I hate that we have that distance because he is one of the few I have really made an effort to keep in touch with). With my siblings moving all over the place, as well as my inlaws, I am just thinking of the good old days when we were all in the same zip code and getting together was never really an issue. It’s getting really hard for me to think of the distance that is being put between us all and I have been super emotional about it. There are so so many other reasons for my nostalgia but it gets kind of depressing and I am working on finding the best outlet for it (and I don’t really feel like a lengthy blog comment is the place at this moment, ha) but I feel you there. I think having that feeling of nostalgia is healthy as long as it’s not causing you to kind of stop your life. It’s good to look back but it’s bad to only focus on the past and forget to move forward with your own life. But I think we are just human and that’s why the feeling is so strong.

    I love these posts and wish I would take the time to comment more! It was a lot of fun! Hope you are had an excellent weekend.

  16. I love this post. I read it on Saturday morning, but I wanted to reply, and I hate doing that from my phone. I so understand about couple friends. It is VERY hard to find them. I actually did from a website (like Match.com for couples) about 5 years ago, but there were almost no users in our area. We’ve been going the more traditional route – his friends and their significant others, my friends and their SOs, parents of Christopher’s friends. We don’t have a lot of couples we truly click with. Really just a few – and some live out of state, so we almost never see them. I have high hopes of finding more friends when Christopher starts kindergarten in a few weeks. We’ll be meet a whole new batch of people who at least live nearby.

    I’m generally frustrated with my friends right now. No one is ever free spur of the moment, and when we make plans in advance, people are always canceling on me. Jim doesn’t like any of Christopher’s friends’ dads, so I do a lot of mommy playdates without him, but then he feels he’s missing out, and I get jealous of all his alone time.

    Anywho…I love that you and Will are going to be brewing beer together. That’s a great couple hobby! Jim and I need more things we do together – besides watch TV. And even that is a struggle lately. We have date nights once or twice a month, but we often just go out to a movie. We both love the movie theater experience so much. But it’s not very social and certainly doesn’t bring us closer together. Brewing beer sounds like fun. Enjoy!

  17. And I would tell you that I am trying to read The Night Sister by Jennifer McMahon and Armada by Ernest Cline but that I do not have the time to read right now. My kids have always been busy, but these past few weeks have kept me out of the house until bedtime and so exhausted at the end of the day that I can barely read 5 pages before my eyes closing. I miss reading so much.

    I would also tell you that I understand your wanderlust. I’m at the stage in my career where even if I do take a vacation and go somewhere, I am either still connected to work, or my work load is so bad before I leave and after I return that a vacation really does not help you unwind and de-stress. It really sucks.

    I would tell you that my husband and I have many separate hobbies, and honestly, I cannot think of a single hobby we do together. We both like to read, and we both like riding motorcycles. Does that count? Also, we have been married for 18 years, and we have almost no couple friends anymore. We have one or two, but at this stage, we are so buried by our kids’ activities that it makes even a simple night out by ourselves virtually impossible. I miss having girlfriends more than I miss having couple friends.

    I’d tell you that I too really would love a peaceful morning routine. Instead, I drag myself out of bed to stumble down to the treadmill way too early each morning and after way too few hours of sleep. I work out and then rush around the house getting ready for work. Breakfast is either packed on the fly or purchased from Starbucks on the way into the office, but it is ALWAYS eaten at the office. No matter how hard I try, I can never seem to find the time to squeeze in breakfast at the house. It’s embarrassing.

    I’d also tell you that I am always waxing nostalgic these days. My daughter just turned 11, so it was a perfect opportunity to look through her old pictures. My son is a junior in high school this year, so all I can think of is the big calendar in my mind counting down until his HS graduation and wondering where the last two decades went. Blink and you miss everything. It’s sad really.

    I’d share with you that I’m struggling to find this year’s absolute best read too. I don’t know if it is me because I’m tired and cranky and just want to be entertained when I read but haven’t been selecting the right books for that. I also wonder if it is the caliber of books being released this year. They are prolific but don’t appear to be as powerful as in years past. It’s odd and frustrating.

  18. One of my friends got into home brewing with her husband and not only is it a fun thing they enjoy doing together, but it helped them make a TON of new friends. Definitely look for homebrewing clubs in your area, they met a lot of people that way.

    Making new friends is so hard. Tom has multiple friends from every stage of his life (going back to kindergarten, we just had dinner with one of his kindergarten friends last week) and really hasn’t “lost” anyone, whereas I feel like I changed so much after high school and now a lot of my friends have moved away and we’re varying levels of close. I feel like it’s hard because I also do closely guard my time with my best friend, my alone time, my time with Tom, but I still wish I had more people to do stuff with sometimes.

  19. This is such a wonderful post, Jamie! We often forget that bloggers have lives outside of books and we never really get to know a person outside of their bookish lives. I totally understand what you mean about nostalgia. I moved to England today and I’m feeling very nostalgic about all the memories with my friends and of my house and just of South Africa. It can be very hard to move on when you miss stuff from your past so much but I suppose we just have to, although it’s easier said than done! <3

  20. Always love reading these posts! I am currently a few pages into Violent Ends by too many authors to name and I am really enjoying it! I understand how you feel about the traveling thing! My parents still pay for our family vacations but I hope I can still travel when on my own. And yes, traveling takes money which takes a job but a job has little vacation days; the horror! Haha, thanks for sharing some of your life and I really enjoyed the post. 🙂


  21. I would tell you that I’m currently reading… NOT A DARN THING! I read 7 books last week for the BookTubeAThon and I’m currently in between books, although lets be real I will pick one up before bed tonight. But life between books feels so rebellious. 😉

    The last book that gave me that new favorite, stop-you-in-your-tracks feeling was The Martian by Andy Weir. Just, man. What a story. What a character. Fully impressed by the sense of humanity. (IDK, books about space usually just put life into perspective for me.)

    Oh my gosh, having/finding married friends can be so hard sometime. I think it must be easier to meet other couples once you are both couples. My best friends are also married, but none of the husbands knew each other except through us and there is always a fear of group events in case one person doesn’t get along with most of the group. There will always be the stronger friendships between whoever knew each other first and then you can end up with half the group feeling like 3rd wheels.

  22. Oh man. I am always hit with a combination of nostalgia and low-level anxiety about back to school this time of year (which is hilarious since I finished grad school in 2010). I just always feel like I should be doing something and thinking about when I actually was in school. Lately I think this might also be because I have read a lot of going to college books this summer. Of those I’d say check out Don’t Ever Change by M. Beth Bloom and Tonight the Streets Are Ours by Leila Sales. They were good for me anyway because instead of dwelling on lost times they focused more on moving on to other things.

    I’m really happy to hear you’re trying KonMari. I feel like a crazy person talking about it but I love the method! I had the hardest time with books because my shelves are such that taking everything off to look at them just doesn’t work that well. My closet is looking great though I feel like I could do another sweep. I haven’t had the nerve to tackle miscellany yet (and I should probably deal with jewelry too) but in general I just feel a lot BETTER since I started. (And my mom will deny this but also a little bit neater I think!)

  23. If we were having coffee today…I’d tell you that I had hard root beer too last night! As a float. And it was delicious. Coney Island brand, and I’d ask you if yours was Not Your father’s Rootbeer and then be super jealous if it was.
    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I loved the tidying up book! I rocked the closet sorting but failed miserably when it came to folding sheets and towels how she suggested. I did love the part about thanking your items and letting them go if they are not your current favorites.
    If we were having coffee, I’d tell you to read Unbroken. Seriously the best non-fiction book I’ve read all year.

  24. I just have two things to contribute! First, my stepdad home-brewed beer a lot while I was growing up (and while I couldn’t drink it because I was like 12), I haaaaated the smell of it. Like I can’t drink hop heavy beers because the taste of hops makes me gag now. So hopefully the smell doesn’t affect you in that way! And secondly, I just read The Radioactive Boy Scout by Ken Silverstein and it was an interesting non-fiction read. It was super quick. And I’ve been trying to make my way through The Circus Fire, but it’s sad and also a little more dense so it’s taking a while. I love how much you’ve been proactively searching out nonfiction titles (And podcasts) recently!

  25. I know that you’re married, but I think you would enjoy Kate Bolick’s Spinster as a really interesting and great nonfiction book. It’s written by a woman who’s embracing her love of the spinster life and is reclaiming the word the best she can, but it also looks at how society handles women and marriage in general, with some fascinating women from history.

  26. I find making friends with other couples to be very difficult. Most of the couples my husband and I meet are older than us and at completely different points in their life (kids, kids, kids). That wouldn’t be a big deal if they talked about something OTHER than children though. I like kids, but I need to have at least something in common with the people.

  27. OMG if you learn how to make new friends as an adult or if you create some kind of app to find new besties or something, PLEASE TELL ME! Because I seriously have this problem as a couple with my husband, and also just for me too. LOL

  28. I think making adult friends is the hardest part of being an adult. Seriously, it’s SO hard.

  29. Nonfiction recs: anything by Steve Sheinkin! Port Chicago 50 made my jaw drop, and I was on the edge of my seat reading Bomb even though I knew the history! I also just read and loved The Family Romanov by Candace Fleming.

  30. Ahhhh I *tried* to do KonMari the other day. I took all my clothes out of my closet and put everything back in if it was something I liked and enjoyed wearing. The problem I ran into was that I get bored with wearing the same stuff over and over. Even though I wouldn’t notice if my boss or coworkers wore the same shirt once every two weeks, I’d notice if I did that and so I like variety. I think I need to take another crack at it though – get rid of the things I was medium about that I kept just to have a shirt or 5 that I only wear twice a year because I don’t actually LOVE it, just tolerate it.

    Have you read about the “capsule” wardrobe thing where you only keep a certain amount of items? Like 5 pants, 3 skirts, 10 tops, etc?

  31. If we were having coffee… I’d tell you I’ve been struggling lately.. That this blog post is saved in my bookmarks bar because it helps me..

    If we were having coffee.. I’d tell you I almost drove to Canada the other day. I had my passport on me and no plans other then I new Toronto was an 8 hour drive from here..

    If we were having coffee.. I’d tell you HE makes me so happy.. and there’s this lady he talks to … has talked to for nine years.. Once upon a time he was going to move states for her. He’s since been married and divorced to another women. It’s been two years since the divorce. We’ve talked about his rebounds and how that’s not me. He talks about tomorrow, plans ahead but not like Saturday ahead. When I don’t hear from him for a bit.. I know he’s busy at work, I’m sure he’s still talking to her though.. I would ask you if your mind wondered like that like mine does.. and wait for you to nod.. When we first started talking and he called me his girlfriend over Thanksgiving (2016), I mentioned some weddings I was attending and he said I had a plus one for those and not to forget.. But Saturday’s to far ahead?

    If we were having coffee.. I’d tell you I miss my Grandpa.. He’s been gone a long time but having his input on all this would be nice.

    If we were having coffee.. I’d tell you my best friend is engaged to be engaged and I’m so excited for her.. We’ve somehow switched roles and she’s the one helping me with this relationship anxiety when I use to do that for her..

    ….If we were having coffee.


  1. […] fellow blogger, Jamie, did a recent post entitled “if we were having coffee”, what would she say to the […]