If We Were Having Coffee

I saw a life coach I love, Ashley, do a post entitled If We Were Having Coffee and I decided to take her lead and do one myself in November 2013 because I loved it and sometimes I feel like we forget that there is a whole life behind the people that write and read blogs. I got such a great response to my initial post so I made it a  reoccurring thing for the past couple of years and do it when I feel so inclined!


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So, grab your coffee/beverage of your choice and meet me for a chat. Currently I’m drinking a cup of the Reading Nook tea from Plum Deluxe which is a monthly tea service that so kindly set me some tea to sample (this post is not sponsored at all…just genuinely stoked to try some new tea)! I’m digging the Reading Nook flavor — I have a chamomile/lavender one I’ve always liked but oh man this has rose and vanilla too with the chamomile and lavender and it’s so tasty. I feel like I’m soooo going to ask for a subscription to this for my birthday because 1) I can never think of things when people ask me 2) I drink so much tea and always want to try new things that this will be the perfect way to find new teas and never run out of my favorites.


If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’m currently reading The Winner’s Kiss (OMG!!! SO NERVOUS/SAD FOR THIS SERIES TO END) and Saga Volume 5. I’d ask you what you are currently reading!

If we were having coffee.… I’d tell you how we are getting down to the last month before our trip to London and Madrid. I’m in that phase where I’m loosely planning all the things we want to do and see and I’m like OMG I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING AND WE CAN’T AND I WANT TO CRY BUT I AM SO HAPPY TO BE GOING BUT OMG WE NEED MORE THAN 2 WEEKS. I’d ask you to tell me your trip planning strategies!


If we were having coffee.… I’d tell you that my wrist is FINALLY pretty much healed. I’m sosososo excited to finally be easing back in to some of my workouts that were wrist based. It’s amazing how thankful you become for things that you take for granted in your daily life — the fact that I normally have full use of my wrist and arm. I learned A LOT about patience and not jumping back too soon — taking the necessary healing time is crucial even though it was hard to do. I’d ask you if you’ve ever had an injury! I’m always curious because the most I’ve ever done was like sprain a thumb or something before this. Seriously.

If we were having coffee…. Id tell you that I’ve felt so positive about the relationships in my life right now. I’ve got some good girlfriends now that are positive and fun and drama-free. I’ve let go of some other relationships that weren’t bringing me joy and stopped focusing on those. It’s amazing how adjusting where you put your energy really affects the rest of you and your well-being. I feel like I want to take stock of other areas of my life where I need to take away some of my energy because it’s not good or productive anymore and find another place to put it. Like a spring cleaning of the soul basically. It’s not easy because I feel like I am a person who always wants to make something work in the end but I’m starting to realize sometimes it’s better to let it go and point my energy somewhere else. I’d ask you if you had any spring cleaning of the soul you needed to do/or have done lately.


If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that, speaking of spring cleaning, I am really in the mood to physically spring clean — especially my books and my closet. I have the hardest time keeping things organized and tidy — even after reading and attempting the Marie Kondo book. I know it begins probably with having LESS but I also get so caught up in the day to day stuff that those habits are bad on a daily level and things just get out of control. We will clean things up and it looks really great and then it falls to the wayside. This has pretty much been my whole life though. Part of our problem is that we really don’t have a lot of space to put things in our one bedroom apartment but I think I need to do a really intense session of purging and organizing.  I’d ask you if you have any holy grail cleaning/organizing/purging tips or a method that you use daily to stay on top of stuff. 


If we were having coffee… I’d tell you one of the things I’m working on right now is being content. It’s something I’ve struggled with probably since high school — I just have such a discontent heart. I’m so restless. I want to be everywhere I’m not. I will get something I want but then I’m not content with even that. I’m constantly like can I be happier? More fulfilled? More this? More that? Rather than letting myself be happy or fulfilled or whatever. It’s just something I’ve always struggled with and I know sometimes I am my own worst enemy when it comes to my own happiness — because I have to try REALLY hard to let myself be content. I mean, where’s the line? The line between a healthy sense of discontentment and an unhealthy discontentment? I feel like I often border into an unhealthy discontentment. I’d ask you what you think about it!


If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I am not at all prepared for the Walking Dead season finale next week!!!! I know what happens in the comics and I just don’t know how all this is going to play out and I realize I get too attached to fictional characters but I cannot handle any of my faves on this show being killed off….but it’s The Walking Dead and literally nobody is safe even if you are a favorite character. IF DARYL DIES WE RIOT. Seriously though. I will be emotionally distraught if one of my faves die. Will thinks this is abnormal to care so much and get affected like that. And I’m like HAHAHAH YOU CLEARLY DON’T UNDERSTAND MY PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET THEN EITHER. The internet: making me not feel like I’m the only weirdo who cares too much since forever. I’d ask if you watch the walking dead and if you are prepared for the finale!! I’d probably ask you what other finales you are dreading/anticipating this spring! I watch too much tv so I probably could talk about many with you!!


If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’m excited to be back in smoothie weather again. For the past few years I’ve done smoothies for breakfast from spring to early Fall but then when it gets cold I just cannot handle smoothies so I go to oatmeal or eggs or avocado sprouted toast with a fried egg – all the warm foods. But I always love my smoothies plus my blender is great and I can blend it and take it to go so easily which makes my mornings even easier. The smoothie I’ve been making for the past month for breakfast is 1 cup almond milk, a handful or two of spinach or kale (whatever we have more of), 6-7 frozen strawberries, a stalk of celery, a scoop of vanilla organic protein powder and a squeeze of half a lemon. I sometimes make a PB&J one and a blueberry one but this one has been my jam lately.  I’d ask if you are a smoothie person and what your fave one is!

If we were having coffee…I’d tell you that I’ve come to think a lot about my worth and a value as a blogger. I’ve thought about it a lot over the past 6 years and normally I would think about it as not letting your worth/value revolve around stats or numbers or whatever. But over the past couple years I’ve been thinking about how much I’ve let myself be devalued and I’ve finally started to do something about it. I’ve said no to a lot of things recently because 1) I don’t think the content adds much value to my site or to my readers truthfully 2) I think my space is worth more than the work I’m being asked to do for free/nearly free. I know what my reach is. I know what my value is. I know what my word is. And you know what? I’m okay with missing out on opportunities that I don’t feel truly add to my blog. I’m okay with missing out on opportunities that I know I would be paid for in other niches…or even that I know other mediums in the book community get paid for. I know what I’ve built in the past 6 years and I know what it’s worth and I don’t mean that in a “I’m greedy gimme money way/sell out way.” I want the content — free or paid — to feel worth it and for my whole heart to be in it. I don’t want to work hard on a post I feel was more effort than I/anyone else got out of it. I just don’t. And I’m okay if that doesn’t align with what others want for me. I’m happy churning out my own content to support the books and authors I love. This isn’t a rally cry of being mistreated or used — just taking back my space and putting the value on it that it deserves. I’ve watched newer mediums come in and get things bloggers have been told aren’t possible…and it stings a bit knowing my reach and the hard work I’ve put in for 6 years. But my diminishing free time makes my time feel precious to me so I had to make some decisions knowing what my value truly is and own it. And I feel good about it to be honest — to be honest with myself how I’ve been feeling working so hard and not feeling it was worth it in the big picture. (And this has zero to do with anyone else except me…so if you don’t feel the same way as me…it’s because it’s a personal thing not a statement of how people should feel…don’t feel bad if you enjoy collaborating for free/get lots more out of it than I do…this is just where I’m at after 6 years).



If we were having coffee…what would you tell me? Come on…lay it all out! It’s just you, me, the pleasant sounds of a cafe…and maybe some other eyes in the comment section but NBD right?? Our we can have coffee in my inbox if you don’t feel comfortable. I really want to know! What’s going on with you?

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About Jamie

Jamie is a 32 year old married lady (with a new baby!!) who is in denial that she's actually that old to be a married lady and a mom. When she's not reading you can find her doing Pilates followed by eating ice cream, belting out Hamilton (loud and offkey) and having adventures with her husband, daughter and rescue dog.


  1. Oh, I just finished Vol 5 of Saga a few weeks ago. I don’t think I enjoyed it as much as the rest of the series. Did it feel a little bit like a filler to you or is that just me? I’m about to start Don’t Get Caught by Kurt somebody. It’s been getting some good reviews so I’m pretty excited. Not my usual sort of read, but that’s alright.

    And I’m in such a spring cleaning mood too! I just don’t know where to start. I’m good at doing routine purges and just getting rid of stuff but I’m awful at keep my room/house tidy and organise on a more daily basis. It’s frustrating. I wish I had some tips to share, but I’d benefit from knowing them myself!

    And I know exactly what you mean by having a discontented heart. I think I’m suffering from the same sort of mind frame at the moment. I don’t know what I want anymore. Everything is feeling so damn superficial and meaningless. I want something new and different, but I don’t know what or where to even begin.

    • I’m pretty early on it so I have no opinions yet! I know I haven’t gotten as into it right away as other volumes. I haven’t heard of the book you are currently reading! Must check it out!

      This is my problem to…WHERE TO START with the spring cleaning??? It’s so hard for me to keep tidy on daily basis…it really is. Like I always think, “eh I’ll put that away tomorrow/tidy up tomorrow” and then I don’t and it piles up. I think it’s a matter of just doing it ( I always heard the rule to take 5 minutes every day to tidy up before you go to bed) but like some days I just don’t FEEL like spending 5 minutes tidying up bc I want to do other things. So I guess I have to change my mindset.

      “I don’t know what I want anymore. Everything is feeling so damn superficial and meaningless. I want something new and different but I don’t even know what or where to begin” OMG ARE WE THE SAME PERSON. I feel this same way!!

      • I had that same problem too – maybe it’ll work more for you. I hope so! And I haven’t started it still, but it’s been getting so many good reviews so I’m hoping I’m going to love it just as much.

        So, so true! I think if I can find some sort of habit to get into, maybe I’ll get it more manageable. But by the evening I’m too exhausted to do too much, and in the morning I am too busy getting ready for the day and I have to leave early. I think I’m going to check out some sort of self-help books to see what their tips are.

        And eek, thank goodness I’m not the only one that feels that way! <33

        • Just finished Vol 5 and feel the SAME WAY. It was not as good as the others. Gahhh I wish I read in issues bc I don’t want to wait until july or whenever vol 6 comes out!!

  2. If we were having tea… I’d tell you that I just finished “The Storyspinner” by: Becky Wallace, and loved it! I need to read the sequel, asap. But my next read is going to be “Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List” by: David Levithan and Rachel Cohn! I’ve seen the movie but haven’t read the book.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that you’re so lucky to go to London and Madrid!! I so want to travel some day. Bring me back some postcards 😉
    I have zero trip planning strategies haha. Maybe just prioritize what you want to see MOST. Like order them from highest need to least need.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that I’ve sprained my left ankle really badly before! Black bruises and all. Was off of it for like 1 1/2 months. And it still is tender to this day.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that I suck at organizing haha. I REALLY need to clean my stationery station. Especially since I’ve ordered new stationery LOL. And I really need to sort through EVERYTHING in the craft room because it’s kind of a mess and I have no idea what I even have in there anymore. THERE COULD BE HIDDEN TREASURES.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that I definitely use to feel that discontent thing you feel quite often! But I kind of just learned to be thankful for what I have and I’ve felt a lot more content that way! I don’t like reflecting on things I can’t change and stuff like that.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that I don’t watch The Walking Dead (zombies aren’t really my thing). BUT I totally feel you in the getting way too attached to fictional characters thing. I’m SUPER nervous for the season finale of Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD. Something big (and usually heartbreaking) ALWAYS happens and I am NOT ready!!
    And I feel you with the watching too much tv thing haha. I watch like 40+ shows. If you ever want a list, I can send you one haha.

    If we were having tea… I’d tell you that my new anxiety medicine that I’ve told you about is helping me a bit more than my previous one! Might need to up the mg, but we’ll see!


    • Oooh glad to hear you liked The Storyspinner. I’ve been curious about that one!

      And send me your address and I’ll *try* to send you a postcard! I have a small list to send to (my nieces, my OTSP secret sis, the kids I nanny, other family) so we shall see if I remember to even do it at all hehe

      Ah man I bet craft rooms can get out of hand real easily!!

      I try to practice gratitude and thankfulness but MAN my heart must just be deeply rooted in discontent bc I can be thankful but also still be yearning? lol

      It’s so hard when you KNOW your show is going to do something shocking…you are just WAITING.

      I’m so happy to hear that your medicine is helping!!! Keep me updated!! YAY YOU!! All because you are brave and went to talk to your doctor!!

  3. I we were having coffee… I’d have to tell you that honestly I’m just drinking a glass of water, but let’s imagine it’s a starbucks cappuccino with extra caramal, one sugar cube and some mocha on the top (just because we can).

    First of, great idea! I loved reading this post. It was a very interesting way to share some details of yourself with us readers 🙂

    I haven’t started the Winner’s trilogy yet, but it’s on my TBR. I just finished Lady Midnight half an hour ago and all my emotions are keeping me from starting a new book right away, but it’s going to be Illuminae.

    I love Madrid! I spend 2 months there in october/november 2015 for my gap year and took dance and spanish classes. It’s such an amazing city and I can’t wait to go back there. You definitely have to eat in “Cien Montaditos” which is a ‘restaurant’ that serves over 150 little sandwiches for 1 euro each. It’s such a great place to eat lunch. Also it has cheap beer 😉 If you want any other sightseeing advice (in case you’ve never been there, I’d gladly tell you more about this awesome city). And London is great too! Especially for shopping (and there’s a great bubble tea shop in China Town) (and my favourite Waterstone’s of all England is in London).

    As a dancer (and clumsy person) I’ve had so many injuries I don’t even want to get started. Glad you’re feeling better!

    Although I watch a LOT of tv series, The Walking Dead is one I never got into. Probably because of the zombies. Next week is the season one finale of Shadowhunters and I’m not ready for it to be over already! I just hope that we won’t have to wait too long for season 2 to arrive.

    I’m not that big a smoothie person, rather a milk shake person. But since I found out that I’m lactose intolerant I didn’t drink that many milk shakes anymore although I’ve got my lactose free milk that doesn’t affect me at all. Maybe I’ll get back into it this summer. 🙂

    • Hehe we can totally pretend that you are drinking that! I have to laugh because since starting this series of posts I’ve reallyyyy cut back on the coffee so I’m literally never drinking coffee when I write these posts. And thank you! These posts have been my favorite posts to write over the years.

      I have only read one Cassie Clare book in my life and I really need to catch up!! Glad you enjoyed lady midnight!!

      Thanks for the food tip! I’ve been to London but not Madrid so I will take any and all Madrid tips (also will take any London recs bc ya never know what I may have missed!). We are staying with friends in Madrid so it will be nice to stay in their little village right outside Madrid and get to see a little local life.

      Oh gosh I bet as a dancer you dealt with injuries! After writing this I realized I *did* have shin splits in high school playing lacrosse/running on the track before practice. Those were painful.

      How was the Shadowhunters tv series?? It’s always on after Pretty Little Liars and I’m curious! It’s gotta be better than the movie right??

      Mmm I love milkshakes! I bet pinterest has all sorts of non-milk milkshake recipes!!

      • Haha, I’ve been cutting down my coffee supply too. I only drink Starbucks coffee nowadays (and that probably once a month because there’s not one single store near me) and maybe a nespresso at work once a week (I love the one with caramel).

        I think they’re absolutely fantastic and you should definitely do that. 🙂

        Hmm, there’s one more thing that came to my mind. If you’re a fan of roller coasters and adventure parks you should totally go to the Warner Brothers Parque near Madrid (you can get there via train (tren ave) and then by bus). I loved it there. Oh and there’s a frozen yhogurt shop like every 100 meters in the city called Llaollao and my daily bubble tea supply came from the shop Té Woble which you will also walk by every 100 meters in the city. Hope you’ll enjoy your stay!

        Ouch, that already sounds painful! My worst injury ever had to do with my knee and it hasn’t healed properly and probably never will. The doctors (I went to about 4 different specialists) couldn’t tell me what was going on and why I couldn’t put any weight on it at times (I couldn’t walk for days at times) and it still hurts. But that’s the new norm for me so yeah… :/

        Oh can I just say I hated the movie? It was so bad. I was really disappointed. The series on the other hand just convinced me from the beginning and I absolutely love it! It’s not exactly the same as the books and that’s good! It’s always nice to see different versions of a story when it’s adapted to the TV screen if it’s done well and this series is so addictive! I watch Pretty Little Liars too (but I fell back and I think I’m about 5 episodes behind now).

        I’m not really a pinterest person. I don’t have enough time to also be on that social media because I’m like 24/7 on Instagram (probably 7 of those hours staring at milkshake pictures :P)

  4. I’m currently reading Theft of Swords by Michael J Sullivan and it is AMAZING. Can’t put it down. Or don’t want to put it down. Either way, it’s good. I keep seeing the covers for The Winner’s trilogy and they are BEAUTIFUL, but I keep forgetting to pick them up.

    Share lots of pictures for us that can’t travel! I’ve always wanted to go to London 🙂

    Ohhh, injuries suck. I’ve sprained both ankles, and broken both collar bones. I say milk it while you’re still healing 😉

    I did some soul cleaning at the beginning of the year, and it was the best thing I could have done. I decided I’m going to be ‘selfish’ and only keep the relationships that benefit me. I stopped talking to a couple of people who’s name popping up on my phone caused me anxiety. And let me tell you, once you get over any guilty feelings you might have, it’s complete bliss.

    I try and go through my closet and my bookcase once every other month. These are the two spots where most of my stuff tends to pile up. I’ve stopped holding onto the clothes that I *might* wear one day, and toss them. And I go through my books and see which ones I want to donate. Once every other month seems to be enough for these spots because it’s enough time for stuff to pile up, but not enough time for me to feel overwhelmed by the amount.

    The discontentment is hard! I’m like that and I was filling that unsatisfied spot with *things*. My online shopping habit became a bit of a problem haha I started meditating and looking into energy work so I could take the time and focus inward on what was wrong. It’s helped calm me down and I find I focus a lot more on what I have vs what I think I want/need.

    I can’t watch The Walking Dead because zombies. The one supernatural creature I can not handle.

    I love smoothies!! I tried to make them last summer during the week for breakfast, but my schedule is so hectic in the morning that I couldn’t fit it in. Where do you get your smoothie recipes from?

    I like how you run your blog, and I’m glad you’re standing up for what you believe is right for your viewers. I think it speaks a lot to you as a person, and I bet that’s why most of us still stick around. It’s why I stick around at least. You’re genuine and I feel like you’re talking to me as a friend, not as a friend who is also trying to sell me things. Everything you post here is from the heart and it shows.

    • I feel like back when I joined Goodreads in 2008 Michael J. Sullivan was getting really popular on there and I was curious but never ended up giving them a try! I feel like he and his wife did a bunch of promoting on GRs! Glad to hear it’s amazing!!

      You absolutely must check out the Winner’s trilogy! Esp now they are all out!

      YES re: soul cleaning with friends. THe friends I dropped a couple of years ago (they had been my friends some of them since high school and college so like 10+ years history) got to the point where I would get SUCH anxiety when I’d go to hang out and feel like I was always walking on eggshells. It was honestly such a relief when I stopped hanging out with them and I wasn’t so miserable all the time. We have to do what’s best for us if something no longer fits or feels healthy.

      I like your once every other month plan to just go through what I’ve accumulated! That might make the whole culling thing feel more manageable!

      The smoothie recipes I’m using now are from a meal plan I bought from a online fitness person I’ve followed for many years — Cassey from Blogilates. It’s part of her PIIT meal plan. I get A LOT from Pinterest and the food blogs I follow!

      And thank you <333 I always HOPE that is how my blog comes across because that's always my aim but you never know how things get lost in translation. Even when it was ~free~ content from publishers I would turn down a lot of stuff because I didn't feel it in my heart or didn't think it was useful or of value to everyone. It's hard but it's important to me.

  5. I love this post, especially because I’m actually drinking coffee right now! Im reading The Wrath and the Dawn right now! I’m going to read The Winner’s Crime next and I’m excited! Im also in the mood for spring cleaning but I just don’t know where to begin!

    I struggled with contentment a LOT after graduating college, I just felt like I was so far behind everyone else. One thing I’ve done to combat discontentment is to “enjoy the journey”, just relax and enjoy we’re you are right now! Because once you get where you want to be, you’ll look back fondly on those moments when you weren’t.

    Hope this helps!!!
    India | IndiaHillWrites.com

    • How’s the Wrath and the Dawn?? I’ve been meaning to read that one!

      And ughh that is always my biggest problem with spring cleaning — WHERE TO START.

      OMG YESSSS you nailed some of my issues. I just turned 30 and I feel like I’m SO BEHIND everyone else. Like everyone else has their shit together and I don’t career wise and buying a house and knowing if I want kids. Good reminder — just gotta enjoy the journey because it’s MINE and nobody elses.

  6. I can’t wait for The Winner’s Kiss too! I pre-ordered it and hopefully it arrives at my doorstep before I get home from work. How do you like the Plum Deluxe tea subscription? I currently subscribe to the Tea Sparrow tea subscription box and wanted to see people’s thoughts on other tea subscription boxes. That Read Nook Blend definitely sounds delicious! Thanks for including the links in your post.

    I love how the spring encourages people to tidy up and clean. And yes to smoothie weather! I definitely want to start making and drinking more smoothies. I am kind of slow to clean out my books. I figured the spring cleaning would help me purge some of my books that I no longer read anymore or I am no longer interested in anymore. I only want to keep books that are my favorites and those that I want to re-read. Lovely post, Jamie!

    • I finished and omg I loved it!! Did you read yet??

      I haven’t subscribed to Plum Deluxe — these were just samples — but I am SO SO tempted to subscribe because it seems pretty awesome for $10 a month and I really enjoyed the teas I got. I will have to check out Tea Sparrow. I’m thinking of asking for the subscription to a tea service for a birthday gift because I seriously think it’s such a great idea and it’s like a gift that keeps on giving haha.

      What IS it about spring that makes us tidy up and organize?? Maybe it’s the weather and everything blooming all over and it’s like a clean slate?? There’s gotta be science behind it haha

  7. OMG TWD FINALE. I’m not okay with any of it, but I don’t think it will be Daryl. I think it will be like in the comics (trying not to be spoilery here!), and I’m not okay with that either, but my brain is kinda prepped for it even if my heart isn’t. I’m like, stressed out just thinking about it. I also don’t have cable anymore and I don’t know how I’m going to watch live because I obviously need to do that otherwise SPOILERS. Need to think about this some more.

    Re: planning for your trip. Try not to overplan, especially with Europe. Like, maybe pick one sightseeing thing and one restaurant or cafe or something to try per day, otherwise you’ll burn yourself out and not allow for the unexpected wonderful things to happen. You can always have a few back-up places in hand, but some of my best memories of Europe were just sitting and reading, or lying in a park. It’s also vacation, right? =)

    I’m in the midst of a difficult friend breakup right now…it’s SO hard because I think the person wants to make amends, but I’m like…ugh. Did that happen to you? What did you do?

    Re: your blog. Good for you for reclaiming your blog and your space – I don’t know about other people, but I very much appreciate how much you care about providing good content that you like and your readers like. I’m not opposed to bloggers making money at all – quite the opposite, but I feel like it has to fit the blog and the brand, right? Like I shouldn’t notice that your sponsored content is different from your own content…

    Thanks for sharing re: not being content. I think a lot of us are like that – it’s definitely not just you. I feel like there is a certain balance that needs to be achieved in “this is what my life is” and “this is what my life should be” – it’s not easy to be content with that because, like you, I feel like I’m always more of the second. But if you do that, how do you enjoy today? I don’t have any wise words on this, just commiserating that it’s something I struggle with as well.

    • I DON’T WANT IT TO BE WHAT HAPPENED IN THE COMICS EITHER. WAHHHH. Honestly at this point I’m like can we just hand over Judith because as a character I’m not exactly attached lololl. That makes me an awful human I know.

      That’s my issue re: my trip. I HATE traveling and having a strict schedule so that’s why I feel like “I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING” because I refuse to DO too much because I’m a wanderer so it makes it extra hard to prioritize what to do. Like we probably COULD jam in all the things on my master list but that would be not the kind of trip I want. One of my FAVE memories of LA was one afternoon we sat in a park and read. I’m all about the randomness when traveling.

      I think re: your friend you just have to think…even if she makes amends will the same things that are bothering you keep happening over and over again. Is it past the point of making amends? Do you even still feeeeeel it at all or do you think both of you are hanging on to the history of the friendship?

      I’m SO pro making money with blogging and I know everyone will do it differently but I feel SO confident I could do it well and in line with my own standards and with integrity. Like you said…I don’t think anyone would be able to tell it was sponsored. My fave blogs outside our niche are the ones whose sponsored content fits right in and isn’t screaming THIS IS AN AD CLEARLY. A couple years ago I got offered a sponsored post and I got to come up with whatever I wanted to do but had to feature the book…..and I ended up bailing on the sponsorship because I got spooked that people would stop reading my blog (this was before this new wave of yay book bloggers making money and one book blogger who told me she’d stop reading any book blog who did sponsored content….and now she’s leading the charge on all this lolol) . BUT I was still in love with the post idea that I did it anyways without getting paid or getting any sort of compensation. Like it sucks…because it was the post I was going to write and get paid. THE SAME ONE. NOTHING CHANGED. Nobody would have ever been able to say it wasn’t authentic.

      And YES I neeed to find that balance so desperately with “this is my life” and “this is what my life should be or what I want it to be”

  8. If we were having coffee… I’d tell you how excited I am about your trip to Europe! I studied abroad in London years ago and miss it every day. I just want to spend all my time traveling, even if it’s unrealistic right now. I just got back from a trip to Japan and Taiwan – every single time I come back from Taiwan, all I can think about is how I can get back there in a more long term way.

    If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I’m sort of in the process of spring cleaning my life, figuring out what I want out of a career and how to get there… and thinking about side projects and passion projects and all that stuff. It’s too bad we’re not actually having coffee because I would so appreciate a sounding board right now! I’m glad you’re letting go of certain relationships – I’m such a huge proponent of this that I sometimes go overboard with it. I’m learning the balance between focusing less on toxic relationships and still staying connected to people.
    If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that maybe discontentment is not always bad. I guess it depends on where it’s coming from – if you’re discontent because you’re jealous and want what someone else has… vs. if you want more for yourself because you know you’re capable of more… Easier said than done, I suppose, because I struggle with this constantly.
    If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I am excited to try your smoothie recipe! I love smoothies but it’s totally a warm weather, weekend thing for me. I’m always running late to work on weekday mornings.

    If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I totally admire the way you’ve built your blog. I’ve been reading all these thought pieces on content and media and what bloggers are worth – it’s a strange, strange world, but it seems like that’s where the blogging world is headed – how much money can we make off advertising, how many impressions can a post get, etc. etc. I’m both fascinated and jaded by it. I love that you’re running your blog the way you want to – it’s refreshing! I haven’t updated my blog in weeks and weeks – I love to write, and I love to read, but I’m not sure where I want to go with it anymore. I admire your commitment to this journey! Six years is no joke. 🙂 xo


      I really DO wish we could meet for coffee IRL and talk about all these things! I would love to hear about all your side projects and passion projects and career aspirations!! I’ve got my own career struggles I’d love to get advice on and Will…I love him…but sometimes he’s not good at talking these things out with me.

      Re: friendships — I’m REALLY bad at staying in contact and connecting these days. I think some of my friendships fall to the wayside because if I’m not like actively FEELIN IT I don’t think I allow things to ~grow~ or really cultivate them. Why aren’t there life courses for this stuff??

      I think I need to figure out where the root of my discontentment is because, like you, I don’t always see it as bad but then I DO see the bad parts where I feel like I can’t ever be satisfied. Gotta find that balance of wanting the best/more vs. never being happy with any of it.

      Yeah the paid thing has been interesting and I follow more blogs outside of our niche than I do IN it and so it’s always been interesting to me how far behind we are on these things. I know that I could do sponsored content that would be 100% me and would be posts I would write anyways. I think some people will do whatever for the money but I just really care about my content whether it’s paid or not which is why I’ve said NO to a lot of publisher offered things that I wasn’t into even if it was “a big promotion” — it wasn’t worth it to me to put it on my blog to my readers. Whether I get paid or not….my integrity is too important and I have a clear vision.

      Thanks for stopping by!! I loved catching up. MAYBE ONE DAY WE CAN IRL!

      • Seriously, I need someone to teach me how to stay in touch because I just have no idea how to do it!! I guess that’s what social media is for. You just sort of… poke people every so often and send a long email or set up a coffee date to REALLY catch up every once in a blue moon? IDK GIRL. Relationships are so hard for me sometimes.

        OMG I have so many more thoughts on discontentment but ahhh I don’t want to write you a novel. But YES it’s so hard and I feel like the best way to combat it is to find yourself a gang of girls who encourage each other & who are smart & motivated and are each other’s best cheerleaders – that way you have this ongoing support system that also wants you to keep being a better version of yourself. Of course, I guess you have to be able to maintain friendships for this to work… and now we’ve come full circle. 😉

        Let me know if you’re ever in New York! I would LOVE TO HANG OUT IRL ONE DAY. xo

  9. I absolutely love this idea. I’m currently reading a few books: A Stolen Kiss, The Smell of Other People’s Houses and The Girl You Left Behind. I’m so jealous that you’re reading Saga! I need to get on that, ASAP. Hope you have an AMAZING trip and take lots of pictures and make all of us jealous that you’re in such beautiful places. I definitely know what you mean about trying to feel content. It’s really hard to do when you have so much negativity in your life, though! I try my hardest to be positive, but it’s just too damn exhausting. I cleaned out my bookshelf & closet at the beginning of this month, and it felt amazing. I got rid of half of my wardrobe & atleast of 50 books. I still have a ridiculous TBR, but shhhh…

    I really enjoyed this post and opening up, even if it’s just a little bit. <3 I absolutely love your blog, though I recently just discovered it this last month. I'm a newbie blogger and sometimes it just doesn't feel worth it to spend my time writing posts that barely anyone cares about or reads. I just gotta remember that I'm doing this for me and it's something I enjoy doing. I need to stop focusing on the numbers rather than my content.


    • How is The Smell of Other People’s Houses?? I got this recently in the mail and am SUPER curious!!

      YES THIS re: feeling content when there is negativity in your life. like with my career right now…it’s disheartening to me and it’s hard to be content. I try REALLY hard to find the silver lining but UGH.

      WAY TO GO ON YOUR CLEANING AND CULLING!! You are my inspiration for when I start to tackle tomorrow!! It’s supposed to be super gross tomorrow outside sooo I won’t feel bad staying in and cleaning though I do wish it was kinda nice to have the windows open to go along with my spring cleaning!

      This is always my BIGGEST tip to people when they email me asking for tips as new book bloggers. YOU have to enjoy what you are writing or nobody else will. There have been posts over the past 6 years that I did regularly and I fell out of love with and I was miserable writing them even if others were enjoying them. When I finally reevaluated them I let em go and was sooo much happier. It’s better to blog for yourself, with your audience in mind of course, because it makes it so much more enjoyable — plus the things we measure “success” with are finnicky and they change. Like years ago I could easily get 80 comments on a post. These days it’s not like that. I never put my blog’s or MY worth by anything I can’t control because the internet is a finnicky beast. You gotta love what you are doing! You’ll figure it out. Plus remember we all started out feeling like nobody was listening…like we were writing to ourselves. Keep at it! If YOU love it…it’s worth it. Plus you never know who your posts will reach that will be like OMG NEW BFF. I met some of my best friends from blogging early on and I’d never trade that for all the readers in the world!

  10. I adore this so much. These kind of posts are the ones I love to see most from bloggers – showing their lives and internal thoughts and whys been going on.
    I have been in a state for almost a month now where I haven’t blogged at all. It’s been so hard with an intense workload from university (it’s my first year) and I’m still trying to find a balance between studying, social life, reading and blogging. It’s hard!
    And I am inspired to write this “if we’re were having coffee” post as my comeback post today.

    Thank you for being open and sharing this kind of post every now and then!
    You and your blog are wonderful and it’s amazing that you know your worth and the worth of your blog despite the monetary value.

    • These are honestly my favorite posts to write. I write to connect SO MUCH no matter what I’m writing about but these are especially special posts to me because I can word vomit everything on my mind and end up learning things about my readers and connecting with them in ways I might not have.

      I am seriously in awe of any bloggers who juggle blogging and school. I started my blog when I was a couple years removed from college and I struggled to keep it up just during wedding planning a few years ago and when I got a new job back then. It’s HARD. Plus I feel like university steals all your extra brain power. I didn’t even READ during the school year because I did so much for school. My unsolicited advice coming from an old lady who feels major nostalgia for the days of university? ENJOY IT. THe blog will still be there and you can still do it as much as you can but there is NOTHING like college ever again. They were some of my favorite years of my life. Some of the hardest, yes. But so great. If you feel like you want to be social vs. writing a blog post, do that. If you feel like you want to sit in and blog, totally do that to get a creative outlet. Maybe try to incorporate some posts where you talk about what’s going on in your university life? I feel like there are a bunch of bloggers who are going away to university next year or this was there first year and I’m sure voicing the things that are on your mind would be so therapeutic for you all. I hope you find that balance that makes you feel happy and at peace! Cut yourself some slack because the first year of university is SUCH a transition and learning curve. I hope you do write a coffee post! I think that would be so great!!

      <3333 Really enjoyed catching up with you, lady! xoxo

  11. You should value your time! Your blog is my favorite. I discuss it in my classes all the time. I got nervous for a second that you were going to say you wanted to quit and that would make me sad (although understandable if that’s what you need in your life). I am so excited to start Winner’s Kiss! I have less than two months of grad school left and it’s eating my life at the moment, so I’m not sure when I’m going to be able to read it! It’s killing me. I’ve been reading for school (Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda most recently which was delightful!!!) and writing for school (a paper on The Catcher in the Rye is happening for me right now). I’m glad your wrist is feeling better! I’ve broken my arm twice so I know how irritating it is to do things with only one hand.

    • omg this is the best comment ever!!!! Thank you for reading and for being so thoughtful and for sharing my blog! That means the world! heh no quitting for me for now haha

      Eeee that will be a great reward for when you kick all your grad school work’s butt! It was such a satisfying conclusion for me! OMG LOVE SIMON SOOOO MUCH.

      It’s amazing when you realize how much you rely on that other hand. Like I’m so much more appreciative for my functioning body these days haha

      Good luck with all your work! YOU CAN DO IT!! And I will be here to chat TWK if you need someone!!

  12. I’m currently reading (and really enjoying) Even if the Sky Falls (which has a fantastic cover)! And I have to catch up on reading Saga, and plan to read The Winner’s Kiss AFTER I reread The Winner’s Curse and The Winner’s Crime. Also, yay for your trip (and mine) coming up soon! I hope we both have a fantastic time away in Europe 😉 And, the last thing I wanted to say, is that when it comes to organization, it’s part being ruthless and part having a schedule. I’ve always been a neat person (I can’t stand chaos because my mind goes nuts when my surroundings are crazy), but I’ve been especially good at keeping up with tidying up things since I moved back to the US. Part of it is doing regular culls (I think I’m doing them monthly, especially for books), and part of it is forming the habit of allotting time to tidy up my spaces. Here’s to hoping you figure out what works for you, in that sense!

    • YES the cover for Even If The Sky Falls is SO GREAT. Glad you are enjoying! I kind of wished I reread The Winner’s Curse and Crime before but Recaptains recap was pretty good! I think I’m going to end up rereading the whole series soon enough because it’s just so brilliant. Hope you love The Winner’s Kiss when you get to it!!! It was so satisfying!!

      What week is your trip?? I bet we are both going to have wonderful adventures!!

      My roomies in college always said I was a great roommate except that I was a mess. I tried REALLY hard to at least not let my mess spread but sometimes they would have to gently remind me like HEY YOUR STUFF IS KINDA CRAY CRAY. It’s always been a struggle for me. I honestly do think it’s part rebellion because when my mom was so alive she was the neatest freak in the world. Like I would get grounded for a week if I didn’t make my bed and we did sooo much cleaning all the time that I think when I got on my own I’m like EFF THIS I CLEANED MORE IN 18 YEARS THAN MOST PEOPLE WILL EVER DO SO NO MORE. And I know MY mom was the way SHE was because her mom was a hoarder. I’m not like a gross messy person..just a cluttered messy person haha. BUT I feel like it’s time to change because it does make me unhappy. I like the idea of creating a schedule for cleaning. Maybe THAT will help me to grow that habit until it becomes just a thing I do. Then maybe it won’t seem so daunting because I will be semi on top of it? Thank you for getting the wheels turning there miss organization master!!


  1. […] recently saw Jamie’s (at The Perpetual Page-Turner) post called “If We Were Having Coffee” and I thought it was a wonderful idea! So I decided to bring it over here and do a segment […]

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