There’s a lot of things that motherhood has made me — exhausted is one of those things — but who would have known it would make me the most boring person on the planet.
Or at least I feel that way. I am literally the least interesting person in all of the world right now.
I was musing about this on my Instagram stories the other day about how when I post motherhood stuff I BLEED followers which is FINE, I get it, people unfollow for a billion reasons and I’m not entitled to anyone following me. HOWEVER, it’s not so easy to tell my brain this because it seems to confirm my insecurity right now of just HOW BORING I AM. My Instagram is Rileygram these days because that’s literally what’s going on in my life.
And the logical part of my brain is like “hey maybe they just followed you for books pics and they are like not in that stage of life!” or “they are curating their feed and its not personal” but the part of me who fears that I’ve become a boring shell of former pre-baby self feeeeels that it’s a direct result of my boringness. It confirms all my little insecurities right now.
Pre-baby I felt like I was at least a semi-interesting person. I had a lot to talk about and was a good conversationalist because I felt like I had a lot of interesting things to keep a conversation going or to contribute to a conversation.
Now I feel like having a conversation with me is a struggle between mom brain (which is a real thing that I used to make fun of moms for saying because it sounded so dumb and made up), pure feel-it-in-the-bone exhaustion from all that comes with motherhood and my lack of anything going on in my life that is remotely interesting to the rest of the world.
I know it’s this stage of life I’m in right now — being a mom to an infant is super all-consuming because they are needy (and cute) af. I mean, she NEEDS me all the time and I’m happy to be there for her but that means I’m not THERE for a lot of other things.
But it’s the WORST to feel like a boring human when you catch up with your non-parent friends or friends with kids who are older.
Them: OMG WE HAD SO MUCH FUN THIS WEEKEND! *shares exciting action packed weekend*
Me: Well, I cleaned my disaster of an apartment this weekend for the first time in FOREVER since I don’t have the energy to do it ever and OH OH in between naps we went for a walk. It was a walk. Very walky. We walked. Oh and we went to the grocery store. We got groceries. It was….yeah. Tell me more about your weekend because I’m going to fall asleep just listening to myself.
Them: Oh are you caught up on x show? Watch x movie? Read x latest and greatest?
Me: Yeah no. That show is past my bedtime, I’ve been reading the same book for a month because every time I try to read my eyes do this thing where they close. And lol movies? I would fall asleep in a dark room with no baby especially if they had those recline-y seats. Plus do you know the going rate for a babysitter on top of movie tickets??
Them: Oh.
No, but really. I am boring. I HAVE BECOME A BORING PERSON. And it makes me really sad sometimes.
I don’t get out as much as I used to. I mean, we go do things but they are always pretty Riley-friendly and not really anything super exciting right now. Plus we are on a bit of a budget which limits things. I’m not watching or reading the latest and greatest — or at least on a very limited basis. I barely know what’s going on in the news/world to even chat about that. I used to read lots of books so I had plenty of things to talk about. Watched cool documentaries and movies. I was always LEARNING things that I felt like were interesting. I had time to think about Big Life Things which I then could mull over with others.
I HAD THINGS. I had hobbies. I had interests. I consumed things. I paid attention to the world around me. I talked to people who weren’t my 9 month old and my dog. A combination that led me to being semi-interesting and a good conversationalist.
But if you wanna have a conversation about the following things or find them mildly interesting I’m probably your girl:
-baby sleep
– the best way to get poop out of a white onesie (just probably throw it away and stop buying white onesies).
– baby development (I’ve become a nerd about that)
– the best baby products for newborns and babies 3-6 months
– how much you can stretch cleaning/other adult responsibilities before you reach the point of no going back
– crying in your car
– basically anything related to a baby
If these topics of conversation just stir something up in you, come find me! I’ll be here. Bathing in my boringness.
In all seriousness, I keep reminding myself that this is just ~a season~ and eventually I’ll regain more time and energy (I hope?) to be less boring.
But the truth of it is that sometimes my days DO feel the same day in and day out but other days Riley learns a new thing or discovers something and it’s the most damn exciting thing in the world. Maybe not TO the world who quickly scrolls past my boring mom tweet or IG story. But to me it is. And I can’t wait to talk about the new awesome thing she discovered or made her laugh no matter how boring everyone else might think it is.
Because it feels pretty damn important to me and in the moment, when I’m not thinking about the fact their eyes are probably glazing over, I don’t always feel like the least interesting person in the world because I get to watch this little one discover the world one moment at a time. Which is pretty NOT boring when I actually stop and think about it.
And I remind myself that one day maybe I’ll be semi-interesting again but for now I’m that boring mom on your feed babyspamming you those exciting moments in my life right now.
[Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links which means that if you click on a link and purchase something I’ve talked about or recommended, I’ll receive a very small percentage of the sale. Please see my disclosure policy for more info.
P.S. Want more motherhood reads? I talked about grieving what was supposed to be and my newborn survival guide!
Linda says
FWIW, you’re the first person I *haven’t* unfollowed when they’ve had a baby. I’m not a parent and never will be and I’m not especially interested in babies, but I *am* interested in things like women’s lives and how women cope with huge changes and added responsibilities and balance. As much as you think your posts are Riley-all-the-time, you reveal a lot about how much your life has changed and the struggles of motherhood – and the good parts of motherhood – and that is pretty interesting. You’re posting about the things you’re thinking about right now and that you have strong feelings about and those feelings come through in your writing. I like the style of your posts so I’m going to keep reading them 🙂
Jamie says
Aw thank you <3 That does mean a lot. I always hope I have a good balance because I know, unless I was REALLY close with the person, that I never cared much to see baby spam but I'm realizing how hard "balance" is when looking at my life right now which cannot described by the word balance lol But that's the goal with most of the mom stuff I post...to reveal kind of the inner workings because all the babyspam. I really appreciate your comment <3 I definitely am one to write what I'm going through and I'm surprising even myself because I NEVER thought I'd be writing this much motherhood stuff!
Lisa @ Reading, Writing, and Random Musings says
I love how you share about the ways life has changed and how you are coping, and I LOVE all the Riley pics on IG. You do you…..you have plenty of cheerleaders around to cheer you on!
Bookworm says
I can so relate to this post! When I was on maternity leave, I felt I had nothing to talk about, nothing to offer a conversation. So fruustrating!
Danielle @ Along for Adventure says
I’ve been following your blog since 2012 and am so glad you’ve continued to blog, even if it has changed a lot, since becoming a mom. Lots of your followers care a lot about YOU and we enjoy hearing what’s going on in your life, so thank you for continuing to share it! I’m not a baby person and have less than zero desire to be a mother personally, but I enjoy reading the honest moments you write about motherhood and still think you’re interesting!
Angela says
It’s funny, I feel like the least interesting person in the world because I DON’T have kids right now. I feel like I post stuff on FB about vacations or charity things I’m working on, and I get a tepid response at best, and then someone will post an adorable photo of their child and get 1000 likes! If I post a picture of my niece, the entire world comments on it. I’m surrounded by moms, and I check out a lot of their posts, just in case someday.
Brianna says
Jamie,
I’ve been a quiet follower of your blog for a long time, and never really posted anything back to you (just because I’m lazy, lol.) Just wanted to send some encouraging thoughts your way that you aren’t boring. You still have a ton of people who don’t just follow you to read along, but who want to encourage and support you (even if they’re cheering quietly in the background like me). Maybe the people who you think you’re boring are just in a different season as you, which you stated before. But think about all the people you’ve already met, or are going to meet, that are right here with you in this new mom-life exhaustion stage of life. You may be losing followers that you’ve had before, but you’ll be gaining new ones too. And don’t let this slump bring you down, because once you fall into this type of thinking it’s hard to get out of it. Remember that you are loved, supported, and definitely not boring. I love hearing about yours and Riley’s adventures and I can’t wait to hear about the ones that are soon to come!
Keep your head up and don’t let anyone else’s opinions (or what you *think* their opinion will be) make you doubt yourself. YOU are ENOUGH.
Brianna
April Books & Wine says
I am totally biased here — 100% do not and will not EVER find you boring. Trust.
Granted, maybe I find the baby stuff interesting because we’re at that same stage of life, just 3/4 months apart. But also, because it is you as a person and I care about you and your life. So, when you talk about your child, I know that you are talking about someone important to you and because I care about you, I think it is interesting. Sort of like when other people at different stages talk about things in their life, when I care about them, I find it interesting.
Also speaking of not being interesting, I bought a damn Homemaking Ultimate Bundle. I don’t even home-make. I work! BUT DAMN IT IT had a One Hour To A Better Bookstagram webinar, things about capsule closets, decluttering, recipes, and all the things I pin. So, hey lady, we’re all boring here in our own ways. <3
Rachel @ Never Enough Novels says
Ha I just bought that bundle too : )
Rachel @ Never Enough Novels says
I only discovered your blog a few months ago and your mom/baby posts are one of the reasons I follow! I don’t have any kids, but hope to soon, and I love your honest take on motherhood. Even before getting pregnant I worry about how drastically life will change after a baby. It’s super helpful reading these types of posts because I have a better idea of what to expect. Also, it’s rather encouraging reading your other “non-mom” posts because you must still have at least a sliver of time for other interests : )
Katie @ Words for Worms says
Ooh ooh! Pick me! I know the best way to get poop out of a white onesie! It’s the miracle elixir of baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, and dish soap! You’re allowed to feel any old way you feel about parenthood and the changes it’s brought to your life, but FWIW? I find you interesting. I’m right there with you in the trenches. ::Insert Hunger Games salute::
StephTheBookworm says
I know how you feel and I’ve been there! Now that my dude is 3 though, I’ve gotten back more and more of myself as the days go by. I go to the movies 6-8 times a month (I have MoviePass), I go to book club, I watch shows, I read a little more… I have stuff to talk about that isn’t always Caleb or work! You’ll get there too as she becomes less needy and older. Of course, now I’m due in September with number 2, so I’ll be zombie mom for awhile again, but as you said, it’s just a season in life.
Laura says
You are far from the least interesting person I know! And we need to get together, especially if you want to help a somewhat newbie with some blog updates! And Riley is way too cute not to post photos of, she’s adorable and I am learning so much about the ins and outs of motherhood – the good, the bad and the ugly.
Terra Heck says
Nah, you’re not boring. You just have other stuff to talk about, in addition to what you already had to talk about.
You have every right to be super excited when your little one makes a milestone, even if it’s mundane to every one else.
Just don’t get lost in who you are. Be sure to carve time out for yourself.
Annemieke says
You are one of the more interesting people on my timeline. I’m a mom too though so I don’t know if that helps haha. But I feel you on this. I made a personal instagram to shout all things Merijn into the void through pictures so my bookstagram wouldn’t suffer. But honestly I’m not gaining a lot of followers on there anymore because between Merijn, household, hubby and the blog I just don’t have the time.
You may always shout to me about a new thing Riley did and I’ll be just as excited as you are. <3
Hayley @ Bookblogher says
My niece is just a few months behind Riley, so I get it. My sister always complains about how she’s not doing anything. And she works as a nurse on top of having a little baby, so Mom brain is definitely a real thing (+ overnight shifts, she gets practically incomprehensible). And my niece was early, so she’s on a feeding tube, so it’s literally feeding time (every 3 hours) + usually a nap right after which leaves very little awake time which is when you can actually put her down in to a jumper without having to watch her. But that’s also the time you want to hang out with her because she’s awake and hilarious. I’m going to be nannying her while I’m off all summer (school librarian perk!) and I’m so excited. But I also feel like I will get nothing done during those times, except watching her. But just know that I love your posts about Riley because I can see my niece in them, or when it’s about things Riley likes I figure my niece might also like them in the next few months! Keep doing you Jamie.
Alexia says
You, my dear, are ANYTHING but boring. I am not a kid person, like at all, but there have been those few bloggers that have had kids in the past few years that I DO still follow and adore (and you are one of them) Your focus is on Riley right now and that’s where it should be. So what if you aren’t up to date on the news or the latest & greatest book/TV show/movie/whatever. You are in a new stage of life.
As a matter of fact, I feel like the boring one. My Instagram is pretty much books & cat pictures. No pictures of amazing travel locations or new houses/significant others/engagements/weddings etc. The person I spend the most time with lately is my mom. I have very few friends, no social life and since my heart isn’t doing so well, I’ve got ZILCH energy.
Deanna @ A Novel Glimpse says
My kid is 10, and I still feel like the least interesting person. Anyone want to hear about her soccer games? Yeah, I didn’t think so…
Jayme says
I so deeply understand this sentiment and have stated it in many variations to my husband (I have a 3 year old and an 18 month old). I won’t lie and say I don’t still struggle with it, but as they get older the world opens up anew, with the added bonus of getting to watch the world open for the little one too, and that for the first time.
Erin says
Hi Jaime – I’ve been following your blog for years and as a bookworm who just became a new Mom…this blog is absolutely on point for me. So many Mom blogs are written by people with whom I have nothing in common…I totally feel you on the boring thing…I miss reading books or even watching movies….but when my daughter does something new it’s the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me. I think people without kids that only have themselves to take care of are kind of boring in their own way. 😜
Sam @ Sharing Inspired Kreations says
You WILL be interesting again someday! My daughter is almost two and it does get better and better in every way. I find more of myself in bits and pieces and you will too!
Daisy says
I feel like this ALL the time!! The only time I don’t is when I talk to other parents of itty bitty children, because they’re going through the same things and we can gush about our children together. But I’m definitely not a great conversationalist anymore..
Daisy says
Also, I wash the white poopy onesies at 40 degrees celsius (I’m not sure how much that is in fahrenheit) and they come out fine usually