I saw a life coach I love, Ashley, do a post entitled If We Were Having Coffee and I decided to take her lead and do one myself in November 2013 because I loved it and sometimes I feel like we forget that there is a whole life behind the people that write and read blogs. I got such a great response to my initial post so I made it a reoccurring thing for the past couple of years and do it when I feel so inclined!
Grab your coffee/beverage of your choice and meet me for a chat. I’m currently drinking a spiked seltzer!
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If we were having coffee….I’d tell you I’m reading Natalie Tan’s Book of Luck and Fortune by Roselle Lim. I’d ask what you are currently reading….
If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that I’m struggling with blogging (sidenote: holy crap my blog turns 9 next week) and feeling like I have a community here anymore. My blog traffic is great and on paper my blog is thriving but all the community and conversation is lacking here…and all the page views in the world can’t make up for that. I wonder often if it’s just the book blogging community in general (ie are people just not really commenting anymore)? Is it me? Is my content not what people want to read? Have I lost a connection with people that I used to have that sparked so much discussion on here? I used to get stressed trying to reply to 50+ comments on posts even though I really wanted to but I’d rather deal with that. I miss my community on the blog — I have more conversations on Instagram and Twitter but I miss it happening right here in this space.
If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that I’ve really gotten into the Enneagram lately but I’m so confused because the two types I am the most (4 & 7) are like polar opposites but I FEEL BOTH OF THEM SO CLOSELY. I’m an ENFP (myers-briggs) and it seems a 7 would be closer to that but I can’t tell if I’d been just feeling really depressed and maybe the 4 felt real at home for me. But there are so many subtle things about 4’s that resonate with me always. IT’S A CONUNDRUM. I’d ask you if you were into the Enneagram and what your type was.
If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that I’m still reading mostly adult fiction! It’s just been more appealing to me than YA lately. I don’t know why. It feels weird to have blogged mostly about YA for so many years and now I’m not as in the loop with YA as I was. I’m okay with it…I’ve always followed my reading whims but I didn’t think I’d go through SUCH a long YA drought.
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I struggle with figuring out how much to share about Riley in the age of social media. I’m okay with sharing her photos but as she’s gotten older and gotten more of a personality than that of an itty bitty baby it’s been weighing on my mind more. For now I’ve kind of just decided I will share what feels right and mostly that all seems to be related to ME and motherhood — not necessarily about Riley’s life and her struggles and whatever. It’s hard…I want to share about her because she’s a huge part of my life but she’s also her own person and the internet is forever.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’ve been feeling a bit better about where we leave. Not the WHERE — it’s still far from everything and a food wasteland. BUT I love the book club I created and I really have hit it off with 3 of the other girls and we’ve hung out a bit outside of book club and I already cherish them as new friends.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that my weight loss journey has been….not great. I’m so out of shape since being pregnant. I lose the baby weight quick and then gained it all back thanks to probably not sleeping, depression, not moving much, eating ice cream and drinking beer when things were hard. I’m struggling with being consistent…not so much not knowing what to do. We eat VERY healthy 90% of the time and I have great workouts in place…I just struggle with consistency. I get a good routine and then something happens (Riley gets sick) and then I’m off again. There are so many REASONS for me to skip a workout on any given day because it’s the easiest option and some days I just don’t have enough fight in me to make it work and get a workout in. I’d ask for any tips on consistency with working out (especially with a small child)…
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I AM 5 BOOKS AHEAD ON MY GOODREADS GOAL. Something that will probably never happen again so cheer with me on this one haha.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you I’m trying to practice meditation. I downloaded an app and I’m going to give it a good try! I’ve always thought it was a little woo-woo and not really anything but some friends swear by it so I figured WHAT THE HECK…why not. I struggle with meditating so much because my brain is all over the place at any given point in the day. But I want to try — to help anxiety and find some peace. My brain doesn’t ever shut up. I’d ask if you meditate and if you have any tips?
If we were having coffee…what would you tell me? Come on…lay it all out! It’s just you, me, the pleasant sounds of a cafe…and maybe some other eyes in the comment section but NBD right?? Our we can have coffee in my inbox if you don’t feel comfortable. I really want to know! What’s going on with you?
P.S. If you need some reading ideas, check out my 2019 summer reading list!
Kimberly Jensen says
What is an (the?) Enneagram???
I just sent out the Facebook invites for Maylie’s birthday party. HOW DO I HAVE AN ALMOST TWO YEAR OLD!?!
Jamie says
It’s a personality type test like Myers Briggs!! GO TAKE IT!!
And SERIOUSLY HOW DO WE HAVE REAL LIVE TODDLERS???
Ginger says
If we were having coffee…hmm
I’d tell you that I’m struggling to find my creative side but trying super hard. That im not excited for my fall semester to begin but I also want to be done with classes so I can start my life haha.
I’m still struggling with my anxiety but it’s been getting better and I have been able to read way more this month then the last 3 combined and that feels successful!
I’m currently reading Winter by Marissa Meyer and One True Loves by Taylor Jenkinds Reid on audiobook (:
A Darker Shade of Rosie says
Wow, I cannot believe your daughter is almost two!!! I feel like it was not too long ago that I saw you were pregnant! My son Rowan turned one at the end of April and I have very conflicting feelings 😭 I, too, wonder how much I should share about my son on my blog, and even on Twitter and Facebook for that matter. He is his own person, and I have to think… would he care about this picture being out there when he’s older? 🤔 I do feel like the conversation on book blogs is dying… I try to comment when I can, but I know a majority of it for me is having the TIME and also having something meaningful to say. 😩
By the way, I’m currently reading “We Hunt the Flame” 🔥
Jamie says
Right?? It feels unreal! Riley turning 1 was so crazy for me….that 1 to 2 time is SOOO fun though but it’s also like OMG WHERE DID MY BABY GO…like it happens so fast within this year. But honestly I have enjoyed this year so much so you are in store for so much goodness!! And yeah it’s so hard to know how much to share. I struggle!
It’s interesting because there are a couple blogs I follow that still seem to get comments and I’m like MAYBE IT’S JUST ME??? But yeah, I’m there too…time is such a factor which is why I probably check in more with people on Twitter and Instagram vs their blog.
Nikki says
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I just finished reading the Raven King! And holy cow and I mad at myself for sleeping on the Raven Cycle for so long! I ready the Raven Boys years ago but never got around to finishing the series. An online bookclub I’m in voted that as the series to read, so I used that as my fuel to pick it up again, and I’m so glad I did!
I haven’t found a way to find out my Enneagram, but I know I’m an ISFJ. I’m really interested in that kind of stuff, so maybe one day I’ll get around to doing the Enneagram thing. *shrugs*
I can’t believe she’s almost two! I’ve been following your blog for a while now, so I remember you being pregnant and new Riley. Congratulations on making it this far, mama! I don’t have kids of own yet, but I can understand where you’re coming from on the internet thing. My SIL posts everything about her kids online (I think-we’re not friends on social media/IRL), and I always remember feeling disappointed that she did that. It’s just scary to think about how that information is just out there for people to find.
I suck at working out. I don’t have any consistency in my work schedule (nurse that works 7p-7a 3x/week), so I find myself tired all the time and lacking motivation. I know I’d feel better if I would just get off the couch and do it, but it’s so much easier to be on the couch having a netflix binge or reading. And baking. That’s a lot easier too.
I can’t even deal with Goodreads. It has always been such a source of pride for me, seeing how many books I could read and whatnot. But I’m five books behind my goal and I don’t see a way to catch up. The depression has been stronger than usual this year, and I haven’t felt like reading much. BUT AH YOU’RE AHEAD!!!! HOW EXCITING!!!!
I meditate before falling asleep. Well, actually, meditating puts me to sleep. It’s nice to just clear my mind after the 12+ hours of alarms and IV pumps beeping before going to sleep to get up and do it all over.
Jamie says
I have only ever read The Raven Boys also!! I read it when it came out and loved it but just…never kept going??? I am so bad at series…even series I love! I feel like that’s why I’ve kinda taken a break from them.
Yes go take the Enneagram!!
And yes I have people like that who post every little thing about their kid and I just know that, in forming my own strategy for what I post about Riley, that THAT makes me feel uncomfortable.
Oh wow yeah your schedule is so hard for that! You gotta be so tired…that would be hard to find motivation!
I’ve been so behind with Goodreads for years so I FEEL THAT. I posted mine pretty low so I don’t get caught up in the amount and then not read books that might be longer or slower reads because I used to do that SO often!
I hope meditating does that for me too!! My brain just won’t shut up!!
April Books & Wine says
I’m an Ennegram Type 2 (The Helper) and Myer Briggs ISFP. I am still trying to figure out what that all means. I’d say I HEAR you on the whole blogging thing. I hit 10 years next month and idk, I am surprised I’ve maintained it that long and feel like I should probably do something cool for my blogeversary but I have no motivation/energy. I literally have 5 posts in drafts with like 10 reviews in each post but I can’t seem to get up the motivation/energy to write the intro paragraphs, upload book covers, and make a graphic. IDK, I just have been putting all my energy into consuming instead of creating. And then when I am not consuming I’m off spending time with my family/cleaning the house/working. As for working out/losing pregnancy weight, I still cannot fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, but I am getting closer. I went from like a 10 right after I had my kid to now a 6 but I still have these pants that I LOVE that are a 4, like a whole wardrobe. So, still working. I am hoping once it warms up and isn’t raining every other day maybe swimming in the pool will be a fun way to lose the weight/get in a good work out. I have no tips at all because I am not good at this stuff.
ALSO YES, YEAR OF THE ADULT BOOKS vs. YA. I’ve also been consuming what feels like way more adult books. For myself, I think it’s because most of the people i care to follow on IG post about adult books.
Jamie says
I’ve definitely been in a consuming mode too!! I think that in this point in our blogging journeys we’ve been doing this so long we KNOW when to just let ourselves ride out that time period and just BE. Knowing our blog will always be there when we get back to it.
And get it girl!! You will get there! That’s literally all I want is to be able to fit in all my pre pregnancy clothes lol I don’t care how much I weight or how I look I just want to fit in those damn clothes!!
Also before blogging or at the beginning of blogging didn’t you and i both read more adult than YA?? I feel like you were big on adult too!
April Books & Wine says
I was big on adult pre-blogging and just starting to get into YA — like prior to blogging I read Sarah Dessen and then The Hunger Games is what really drew me in. And then idk, for a couple years there it’s like there was all this YA hype and it got to me and now,I just don’t care all that much? If something sounds interesting, I will read it, and right now my interests lie with adult fiction. (But also with all the overdue books on my Netgalley — I’ve been borrowing those from the library and getting them reviewed up like a fiend).
Lisa W. says
I love your blog, and I love reading everything you post. For me, I tend to comment less when life is just crazy busy…..I like to keep up on the content but I can’t always dive deep. Don’t take a lack of comments as lack of interest…..but it does remind me to be a bit better about commenting overall.
I’m a 6! I love the Enneagram as well! I let someone borrow my 2 favorite books a few years ago and I never got them back, and I am so sad about that!
I switch between middle grade, YA, and adult books all of the time. I also switch genres quite a bit. I think it keeps me from getting into too many reading slumps. I’m currently reading The Great Believers (which I LOVE), and I’m listening to Caraval (which I just started but am also loving).
Oh weight loss. I STRUGGLE. I gained 90 pounds over the course of a couple of years, which I didn’t think was possible, but I am working hard to get it off. Just to show you the power of your blog, I’m using PIIT28 in my journey based on your recommendation! I’m really just trying to focus less on the number and more on ANY forward progress. I keep telling myself that slow and steady wins the race. I’ve had some minor health issues that have gotten in the way, but I’m back on track and trying to gain and maintain momentum!
Take care of yourself and enjoy summer!
Jamie says
It’s a reminder to me too because I’m the same way because life just feel so busy so it’s so much easier to read and then close out! Def going to try to make an effort to leave comments for others even if it’s just once in a while so they know I am there and enjoying it!
Switching genres is 1000% how I also tend to not get into book slumps too! I love having such vast reading tastes I know I can always switch it up!
AND THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY! I love PIIT soo much! I’ve been trying to do some walking at the gym (because CHILDCARE!) and doing 2 rounds of a PIIT exercise at some point during the day (because I’m so out of shape I can’t do the 4 rounds anymore lol). WE GOT THIS!
Thank you for chatting with me! <3 Was so nice to catch up!
Annemieke says
I am with you on the weight loss journey. I started running and all but I dropped it.I do want to pick it back up again but I also know that right now that isn’t going to work. Too much in my head. And I understand not wanting to share too much about Riley but also wanting to share your journey as a mom. Its a hard thing and we can’t qutie ask their opinions yet.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you this year is a bit of a struggle. Depression. Car troubles but most of all so many questions on whether or not I am doing things right by Merijn.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you I am a bit burned out on arcs even though I don’t even have that many e arcs. Its just, not that many have been great for me lately.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that Merijn is verbally behind and that pre-school recommended getting him tested. We are waiting on the appointment. I’m in this weird limbo of that this is the right thing to do to help him and people saying oh he will be speaking in volumes when he hits 3 (which is in August). But there is also a behavioural angle they don’t get to see with him.
Jamie says
I feel that!! It’s just so hard to get it together to workout. Especially when I’m really anxious or kinda going through some depression. So *hugs* I hope you are taking the self care you need and being kind to yourself. And I have ZERO doubts that you are anything less than a great mom. I feel this way a lot too but when I’m being too hard on myself I just remember these days are not easy and we are human and the fact that we even WONDER and agonize over these things means we are good moms and trying our best to raise these little humans!
I hope things go well with the appointment! I haven’t gone through anything like that yet with Riley but have had friends who have and I know it’s so hard to feel helpless because you want to help and have to wait!! True, some kids just take a while longer but I think you are doing the right thing by making that appointment just in case they want to work with him! *hugs* keep me updated!!
Elizabeth Pedraja says
Fellow ENFP as well.
In terms of workout consistency, have you invested in equipment at home? I found that really helps with getting my workout in when I’ve got 25 minutes to kill- all you need is a pair of dumbbells and a mat for most things. My favorite are the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and ripped in 30 for home workouts- 25 minute workouts that get your heart pumping/work the entire body. You could even turn down the volume and do them while Riley naps! My work schedule used to be super hectic, and this helped me on the days I was just feeling too lazy to get to the gym. She also has another video that is broken up into 7 7 minute segments- also good if you think oh i have 15 minutes. You can pick and choose how many and which ones to do.
Rachael | Pingel Sisters says
If we were having coffee, I’d admit that I’m part of the not communicating in book blogging. I just don’t have time to engage properly. Between taking care of kids and actual content creation, it’s just too hard to find the time.
I’d tell you I have the Enneagram book on hold at the library and my neighborhood book club is talking about it at our next meeting.
I’d tell you my youngest just turned two, and she’s a lot of fun, but I worry because she doesn’t not talk much at all.
I’d advise you to get a gym membership with a daycare and comitt to going. Sign up for a 5K, find a friend to go to a class with. Or find a reward system. I get $2 every day I hit 10K steps, which I can then spend on super cute workout clothes.
I’d admit that I’m hitting that age where my interest in YA is wanting. That I have almost finished my Goodreads goal already, and I worry I am spending too much time reading.
Thanks for this post. It’s always nice to see other bloggers in the same boat as me.
Jamie says
So we did just get a YMCA membership earlier this year for this exact reason and it was working SO well!! But then she was getting sick SO often in the winter/spring that our routine woudl just be destroyed. I need to just learn how to rally on those days and do something from home but I SUCK haha My sister also has a membership and Riley and brody play and that accountability has been good but we both are the same and would skip if the other would lol One of us needs to be the one to rally but nope lazy bums. I need to figure out a reward system! I think that would work for me. I like what you did!! I will ahve to think of something I REALLY want and do the same! Thanks for that idea!!
Jamie says
ENFP’s unite!!
And I was doing this workout program pre-pregnancy that I loved and that worked but it’s difficult because Riley climbs on me and bugs me when I’m doing it and I get work done when she naps so I hate working out during that 2 hours. SO we got a membership to the YMCA in hopes that I could ship her off to the child care and workout. I would much rather do my videos but this has been working….when I’m in the groove. I was doing SO WELL and then we went away and then I went to BEA. Tomorrow I am going back and hopefully will get back into it! But I’m with you…much prefer doing the videos at home!! Hopefully I can get back to that! Will check out the ones that you suggested because maybe I can fit some short ones in vs the ones i used to do that takes like 35 min or so plus stretching.
Lauren @ Bookmark Lit says
I’ve noticed a lack of commenting on my blog too, but I still have good pageviews. Not sure what it is!
I’m five books ahead on Goodreads too! 😀
Jamie says
It’s so strange! I mean I’m glad my blog is doing well on paper haha but I MISS THE CONVO! I think we are all spread out everywhere else and maybe we all just kind of stopped being as active?? I know I’m terrible at commenting now (#partoftheproblem)
YAY US FOR BEING AHEAD! Today it turned to 4 books ahead but WHATEVER I AM STILL AHEAD
Kelsey Cooper says
Which Enneagram test did you take? I look it up often and there are just so many out there lol
Jamie says
Oh god I can’t remember! I took like 3 of them hahaha
Rachel @ Never Enough Novels says
I completely agree about comments on blogs declining in favor of connections on social media. I would so much rather visit someone’s blog, read their posts, and have a fun convo there than just chime in on social media. Hopefully that trend doesn’t continue. I just finished reading The Gown and am starting The Girl He Used to Know. Love it so far!
Jamie says
I feel the same! But then I get lazy and an Instagram or tweet seems so much faster and easier> I AM PART OF THE PROBLEM haha.
Oooh I want to read both of those books so you will have to let me know what you think!!
Rachel @ Never Enough Novels says
The Gown was as great as everyone says. And I thought I would be bored! The descriptions of the embroidery and workroom were fascinating and the friendship between the two main characters is wonderful.
Rachel Kamery says
I LOVE doing workout videos at home. It is so much easier than going to a gym or even heading outside for a run. I can fit in little things while my baby naps or does tummy time. Even those 10 or 15 minute snippets of time are adding up. I subscribed to Beachbody On Demand which is $100 for a whole year and gives you access to a ton of different workout videos. Jillian Michaels is on there!
Jamie says
yes i loved the workouts I used to do from home! Riley just gets under and on me and bugs me when I’m doing them haha And I do so much blogging stuff during her nap that I hate giving up that time for working out so I’ve been TRYING to do the gym thing which I hate BUT I can send her off to the daycare there to workout so IT IS A WIN AND I CAN DO ALL THE THINGS haha I have heard great things about BeachbodY!
Rachel @ Never Enough Novels says
Oh no I haven’t even thought about when he starts to actually crawl and then walk around haha!! I’m sure I’ll have to rethink some things 😀 That is super nice that your gym has daycare for her. That would be the one incentive I’d be willing to pay for!
Jess says
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that I’m turning 31 in August and the pressure of not having a baby is real. I never thought I would feel this lonely without something I’ve never had, if that makes sense.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that I’ve recently gotten into enneagram and I’m a 3!
I’m currently reading Station Eleven and it’s so good but honestly I haven’t had the energy to commit to reading lately. I think about it a lot more than I do it.
I love your blog and I hope you feel that community feeling again soon ❤
Terra Heck says
I’ve taken my personality test and it seems to fit me but I didn’t read into it much.
I think bloggers/commenters slow down during the summer months, then it picks pack up. That’s my take anyway.
Stephanie says
I know I’ve been out of the blogging loop for awhile with being in school again, so I’m hoping to get back into it now that I’m done! I’ve been reading a lot this past week since my job is also now on summer break, but last night I just finished Last Seen Alive by Claire Douglas and WOW were there a lot of twists and turns. I read the last 100 pages all in one go and spent them all going “WHAT IS GOING ON???”
Also, I’ve been meditating for a couple years now for my anxiety and while it doesn’t necessarily quiet my brain down, it has helped me with just being able to observe my thoughts and recognize that that’s all they are instead of being freaked out whenever I have an intrusive thought.
Natalie Marrujo says
If we were having coffee… (sorry for a quarter delays)
– I’d tell you now that I had a reading slump over the past summer due to so many circumstances in my life especially school (I am over 1 month into the gap year now and I graduated from college finally).
– I have to tell you that I already took 2 personality tests in the past. 1. In high school, I was an ISTJ. 2. I have the same Meyers-Briggs personality as the blogger from Wait But Why when I was in the early days of college. 3. I NEVER took an enneagram. Thanks, Jamie!
– Then I know that meditation takes a lot of both classical and ambient music, little slumber, and a bit of something worthwhile in solitude to be a better person for me.
– I have some health issues that are too sensitive to tell, but from what I was newly diagnosed with over half a year earlier that I had prediabetes. That means I need 30 minutes of walking 5 days a week and a low-carb diet to keep it up physically. I would just wait and see. Note: I am 23.5 years old and is it too early to tell what caused my Starbucks days to be over with?
– I have nothing much else to say, but right now I am taking care of my mother because she is recovering from the surgery for a month left at the earliest.
Jamie says
Thanks for sharing! <33 And I feel like that's where my health issue is...so sensitive that I don't really wanna talk about it which feels lonely. I hope you are well <3