So here’s the thing. I’ve been blogging for almost 5 years (come next month) and I’ve met A LOT of bloggers and I’ve seen a lot of bloggers go. It’s hard cleaning out your blog reader and seeing that blogs you loved abandoned theirs or dear friends who started at the same time as you announcing they are quitting (hai Jen, Anna, Tara, Kristi, Melanie and so many others).
The blog landscape is always evolving. So are the people. It’s bittersweet. I love meeting new people but it’s sad to watch so many of them fade away (especially if I only really had a “blog relationship” with them). It’s this ebb and flow of watching people come and go. I am grateful for the people I meet along the way regardless. But it’s hard after 5 years. I won’t lie.
When I worked at Forever 21 after college and was frustrated because I felt like the girls weren’t super friendly to me, a girl who worked there told me, “We aren’t super friendly to new people not because we are rude but because when you are here a long time it gets hard to say goodbye so often with the turnaround here and also to constantly have to make new relationships.”
Though I disagree with initial snubbing as a defensive sort of mechanism, I understand this sentiment in ways when it comes to blogging. If you know me I am super welcoming, friendly and talkative with new bloggers. I’m always there to support and make new friends. Lots of great new bloggers come into this community every year and I’m so thankful for that and inspired by the fresh air they bring. But I won’t say it doesn’t get hard “finding your people” after you already found them so many years ago and then they left. It is hard to keep opening yourself up again and again and hoping for lasting relationships and new blogs to love like you loved past ones. It’s HARD to not get stuck in your ways after 5 years — just reading the blogs you’ve always read and staying close only to the people you have always been close with. Maybe this is where people think there are ~cliques~ amongst the more established blogs but it’s really that so few of us have remained in it for THAT long that we cling to each other. We’ve established friendships that have lasted all these years and that really IS something in an ever changing landscape.
As much as I am welcoming and friendly and supportive of new bloggers on the scene, I know sometimes it is hard for me to fully connect these days. I feel disconnected. A little out of the loop. Kind of irrelevant at times. On bad days like the “get off my lawn” type of cranky lady. I’ve been trying to combat this feeling and to stop thinking so much about “THE GOOD OL’ DAYS”, which truly were formative and important and are what made me love this hobby, and embrace what everything is now and what I can contribute to it.
So, after that long-winded explanation, I wanted to share some blogs that I’ve actually added into my blog reader recently. While I might talk to a lot of bloggers and visit their blogs via Twitter and comments and such, adding new blogs to my reader is something I do very rarely because I’m constantly so sad to have to take them out when they vanish. Also I’m lazy and always behind on things. But I’ve been trying to get better and figured I’d share a few I think you should check out.
They aren’t necessarily NEW bloggers….just ones I’ve added to my reader lately so that I can make it a point to keep up with them when I have my shit together and am using my blog reader.
1. Lindsey at Bring My Books:
Lindsey reads a variety of stuff and I love it! She also talks movies on her blog which I love because obviously I love movies. I love fangirling all things Sarah J. Maas with her!
2. Laura from Scribbles & Wanderlust
Laura is another one who reads widely — love her YA and adult recommendations! Her blog has been around for a while but it wasn’t until the last year-ish that I started reading her blog more regularly! Plus she’s a literary agent and bookseller so I love her perspective from all sides of the book world.
3. Leah from The Pretty Good Gatsby
Leah is my go-to for adult fiction — especially historical fiction!! She’s so sweet to talk to on Twitter and I love when she yells at me lovingly to read books she loves!
4. Nikki from There Were Books Involved
Nikki reads mostly YA of a variety of genres but she is my go-to for anything non-contemporary these days..especially fantasy! She writes really great reviews and when that girl fangirls over her favorites MAN does she fangirl. I LOVE IT. There are some authors/books that make me automatically think of Nikki because of her extreme love and enthusiasm for them!
I hope you’ll check them out and follow them on social media! Check out my sidebar for other blogs I love (by no means an exhaustive list and I hate knowing I’ve left people out).
Tell me some bookish blogs you’ve added to your reader lately! Or if your blog is new (within the past year especially) tell me a little about yourself/blog and say hi!
Mishma @ Chasing Faerytales says
I am the first to comment! Yay! 🙂
Beautiful post Jamie! I can understand how hard it might be for you to say goodbye to your blogger friends.
I myself am a newbie.I’ve been blogging since last December, but I’ve made so many friends already, and I can’t imagine how it might feel like if I had to pay farewell to any of them.
Julia Anne @ Peach Print says
I love your take on this. Being a new book blogger, I’ve been trying my best to assimilate to the community. Like you, everyone’s been extremely kind and welcoming. (So I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to say goodbye to such awesome people as those I’ve met!) Thanks for introducing me to some new book blogs, Jamie!
Imogen says
So excited to find some new blogs to read! I don’t have nearly enough book blogs on my blog feed!
I’m not new but I’ve only been book blogging for about a year or so. I haven’t found my people yet though.
Imogen’s Typewriter. <3
Maria @ A little adventure says
Beautiful post Jamie!
I’ve not had to say goodbye to any blogger friends, but I can imagine how hard that must have been for you. I love making new connections and forming friendships in the blogging world, it’s actually my favourite thing about blogging.
So thank you for the blog recommendations, I’ll be checking them out!
La La in the Library says
I follow Nikki already, but I will definitely check out the other three. 🙂
Laura @ Scribbles & Wanderlust says
JAMIE!!! You’re so sweet!
I completely understand where you’re coming from. Back before I blogged (nerd moment alert), I was very active in the Potter fandom. Message boards and everything between 12 and 17. And it was hard saying bye to people, hard saying hi to new people, and hard leaving it. Sometimes blogging/Internet friendships can feel more like a chore and the fun leaves. But then fresh blood come in…and it’s a whole new opportunity to show the ropes and share experiences.
Blogging’s like real life. People come and go, and you just have to roll with the tides.
Frannie Pan @ In Clouds of Pages says
Great new blogs! ^.^
Rosy @ The Review Diaries says
Completely agree with you, it is so so hard to have bloggers you’ve loved and have been around decide to pack it in and leave. Luckily there are always new and exciting blogs to discover given how many people blog about books, but it is still really hard to see people you’ve connected with and have loved their work leave. After five years I’ve seen quite a few bloggers decide to pack it in, but I’ve found so many new fabulous people – particularly recently when I’ve started taking part in TTT.
Sarah K says
I bet that is hard to see SO many people come and go. I’ve grown close to many of my blogger/twitter friends and it’s sad when I don’t see them anymore. After 5 years I’m sure it’s happened many times to you. I’m sometimes overwhelmed just by the sheer number of blogs out there, it seems endless sometimes & I know it’s impossible to get to know everyone.
Great post , and I do enjoy your blog very much! Keep at it and you never know, you might meet your new best friend tomorrow. Thanks for staying open to others and sharing this honest post.
Michelle @ Pink Polka Dot Books says
This was so nice of you to do! If I was a new blogger I would die if you featured me on your blog!! I’ve been blogging for 3 years now and still haven’t really felt like I’ve found “my people”. This blogging stuff can be really clique-ish and hard to break into people’s circles.
Tiff @ Mostly YA Lit says
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with why people talk about how the bookish community can be clique-ish. It’s not that it’s clique-ish, it’s that people naturally form communities within communities, and we can’t all be best buds with everyone. I’m so grateful for the people who have become my close friends in our community, but I’m also grateful for the people I only talk to occasionally. This post is a great way to highlight some blogs that are really hitting you – I think, if you feel inclined, it would be a really good regular feature, especially since you’re such a role model to a lot of us. Thanks for doing this (I’m going to check out all of these blogs now).
Corinne says
I don’t find you irrelevant!! I find your creativity refreshing! I don’t comment here much — if ever. That’s because I tend to be a silent reader. My bad! It doesn’t occur to me people might like a bit of encouragement or a friendly face. Plus, your comment box fills up quickly, which makes my own remarks in the box feel irrelevant. But just to say — I think you’re unique in your spirit and creativity, but certainly not irrelevant. Don’t confuse originality with irrelevance. 🙂
Brittany @ The Book Addict's Guide says
I absolutely think there are cliques in the book blogging world BUT that doesn’t have to be a bad thing, I think. I mean, we all know that I found “my people” in Alyssa & Amy and we all have our group of people — whether it’s 2, 10, or 25 — that is sort of our core group of friends. I think it’s only natural! I try to be friendly with everyone because I really do love getting to know new bloggers! But there’s no doubt that I will not hit it off with everyone and not everyone will be best friends. I think it’s hard to find new people to sort of… bring into your group, for lack of a better way to phrase it, because you already have that relationship established!
And yes, of course cliques can be negative too! I feel like I tried to “break into” certain groups or get to know certain bloggers and I don’t think it was that they were blowing me off but I was just baby blogger at the time and they didn’t know me. They weren’t rude but it wasn’t like we were friends so that was more me trying to say hello to the big bloggers at the time and I just was a no-name!
For me, it’s hard to find a balance too! Twitter is definitely the main place I talk to people. It’s hard to comment on blogs all the time and I’ve definitely developed better friendships with people after talking to them on Twitter. I should probably read their blogs more but I also thing that the personal relationship we’re establishing by talking on Twitter is more important sometimes! 🙂
I can definitely understand your feelings! I haven’t been blogging nearly as long and thankfully no one that I was blogging besties with has left the scene (yet). It’s really hard to say goodbye to those bloggers that you love and who have become great friends with! I also totally agree that it seems like there are SOOO many more new bloggers. It’s awesome that the community is so vast but I also do feel like “How can I not even know half of the book bloggers out there!?!” I can’t really comment on the landscape when I hopped on three years ago because it took me a while to really get into the community so I’m not sure how popular blogging even was at the time!
And YAY for these awesome ladies! Some I know and love and others I will have to check out! It’s always so much fun to see new faces on the scene — or ones that have already been blogging and I didn’t even know about! 🙂
Cynthia says
Great post. I will check out these new bloggers! I have been blogging only since November of last year so I am a newbie. 🙂 But the blogging community has been wonderful!
Savannah says
I’m there with you with the lengthy bloggership… I started mine when I was a junior in high school in 2011, and was too shy to reach out to anybody on here until I was a sophomore in college! I haven’t ever really had a sort of cohort-relationship with anyone else in the bloggosphere – Seattle is a lonely place! – but I’ve definitely seen my fair share of favorite follows fall to the wayside.
Melissa @ Bookmark Dragon says
I love Bring My Books!! Lindsey is such a hilarious and kind-hearted person. I love her posts, and hearing her gush on Twitter. Glad you found her!
Rachel (Confessions of a Book Geek) says
Ahhh! I’m so excited to see Lindsey on here, she really does deserve more love!! R x
Jessica@Lovin' Los Libros says
This is a great post Jamie! I went through and cleaned up my reader and it was bittersweet to see all the inactive blogs! I’ve only been doing this for 2 years, so I can’t imagine what it will be like after 5!
I’m really glad you’ve stuck around though! I love Nikki and I’ll def check out the others!
Holly J says
I can’t imagine what it’s like having been in this for as long as you have and watching so many friends or blogs you loved to read say goodbye. I’ve been blogging for about 2 1/2 years now, but I didn’t really start socializing and making friends until last summer. So I haven’t had to go through this yet because I didn’t really pay much attention my first year of blogging (which is extremely sad and I wish I’d done that differently because I missed a lot). But if I’d been doing this for 5 years, I’d probably have some of the same feelings as you, especially when it comes to missing the good ol’ days. I’m already dreading the day when favorite bloggers quit, but I hope it never comes! And I truly hope you never stop blogging either, because I LOVE your blog and your posts are so relatable and genuine. 🙂
I think, whenever the word “clique” is thrown around, it carries such negative connotations. It’s not that people are exclusive or cliquey; it’s that they’re friends. It’s natural for them to converse with each other; it comes easily. But I’ve never seen outright rudeness or exclusivity. I know, personally, that it’s hard for me to jump into the conversations because I feel like I’m interrupting something I shouldn’t. But I’ve found that most people really love it when you do that, and when you add something to the conversation. And friendships in the blogging community don’t just spring up overnight (even though it can definitely sometimes feel like that); they take work, and time. Yes, it’s hard as a newbie to inch your way in, especially considering how many new bloggers show up all the time. But I think mostly everyone is just so sweet and kind that it’s not hard to strike up conversations with others, if you try. People are so receptive. But I think when the “cliquey” word starts being thrown around, it makes people feel like they haven’t been welcoming or inclusive. And it can help create such negativity within the community.
ANYWAY. I’m so glad to see Nikki’s blog on your list! I love hers too! I know Bring My Books and The Pretty Good Gatsby, but I haven’t checked them out very much, or Laura’s (and will remedy that immediately). Wonderful post, Jamie!
Sue @ Crushingcinders says
I have been blogging just over a year and finding it hard to find my space because there seem to be so many book bloggers out there. Thank you for this post, I understand a little better why it feels so cliquey. Anna was one of the first bloggers I followed so really miss her.
I’ll definitely check out the bloggers you’ve shared ☺
N. Elisabeth says
Hi! I really loved your post, and the blogs you mentioned. I can imagine how hard it must be losing and making friends constantly. I have just been blogging for a few months, talk about fetus. I haven’t really found my groove yet, I find everything kind of intimidating but I must say it is really fun to have a space on the internet to be able to let the creative vibes flow. Love your blog, and your writing style. Have a great day!
Nicole says
I’m just here to say I love Nikki and am glad you added her to your feed. *confetti*
Emma says
Great post! I’ll definitely check out the bloggers you mentioned as I’m always looking for new blogs to read.
I’ve been blogging properly for only a month or so, so it’s pretty understandable that I haven’t quite found my voice or people to properly connect with. I have to admit that I feel a little intimidated by the huge amount of bloggers out there and I really don’t know how to approach them. 😛 Still, I absolutely love blogging so far and I think I’ll definitely keep it up.
It must be quite sucky to see lots of bloggers/friends come and go. A few years ago I made a lot of friends on a Harry Potter website and it occasionally makes me sad that I stopped speaking to those people when I stopped frequenting the website. Like others in the comments have said, people come and go as the internet is ever changing.
threegoodrats says
I’m also sad when bloggers I like stop posting, or when their blogs turn into something different that isn’t as interesting to me. At the same time, I’ve had my blog for eight (!) years now and I understand what a commitment it is. My blog has changed also – I started it to be a knitting blog with some book content, and it has become pretty much entirely a book blog with a tiny bit of knitting content once in a while.
The most recent blogs I’ve added to my feed are RA For All, which is a reader’s advisory blog, and Dog-Eared & Dog-Tagged which I love a whole lot. There are just so many book blogs out there it can be tough to decide which ones to try and keep up with!
Nicole @ The Quiet Concert says
Love the honesty and positivity of this post, Jamie! <3
Kristilyn (A Little Time To Read) says
I love this! And it can be so hard to make new friends in different places … I thought I had made friends at my last job but now we never, ever talk. It’s sad — especially since books are the one thing we all had in common! — but maybe they were just meant to be in my life at that moment, you know?
I closed down my blog at the beginning of the year and now recently started up with a new one and a fresh look at blogging. I kind of feel like I’m starting from scratch with meeting people again, too. I have a total of 5 blog followers after having so many more on my last blog … it feels like I’ve forgotten how to do it and how to network it out there to get readers, but hopefully the ones who do come are the ones who stay and hopefully forge a friendship. It’s weird and scary, but I think so long as you love what you’re doing, things should work out.
I’ll definitely be checking out some of these blogs! Especially Leah’s since I love historical fiction. 🙂
Grace says
I’m new to the book blogging scene (I just started back in March!), but I love it! Thanks so much for more book blogs; so glad to add more to my radar as I hadn’t had that many that I followed! I’m really excited to get to know more about the blogging community, especially after reading this eye-opening post!
Your blog is great!
-Grace 🙂
Julia Gomez says
Jamie,
Wow, this is so kind! I’ve never seen another blogger do this. I think I might start doing this!
-Julia
Shannelle says
I’m not really new, just a blog hermit. And I honestly really relate to those Forever 21 workers? I don’t want to reach out because I’m scared that I’m going to put all that effort into building a friendship but they don’t respond at all. But I did just tell myself to go reach out more, so hi!