I saw a life coach I love, Ashley, do a post entitled If We Were Having Coffee and I decided to take her lead and do one myself in November 2013 because I loved it and sometimes I feel like we forget that there is a whole life behind the people that write and read blogs. I got such a great response to my initial post so I made it a reoccurring thing for the past couple of years and do it when I feel so inclined!
So, grab your coffee/beverage of your choice and meet me for a chat. Currently I AM actually drinking some coffee because I’ve had a headache going on 24 hours and I finally called the OB because it was freaking me out (pre-eclampsia and all) because Tylenol was not even helping and he told me to drink some caffeine the next time I take my Tylenol so WE SHALL SEE.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’m currently reading Warcross by Marie Lu. I love her books and this one is intriguing so far but I’m equally excited to be passing this on to my 17 year old nephew who I got hooked on her books. I think he will REALLY love this one being super into video games. I’d ask what you are reading right now!
If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that I can’t believe I haven’t written anything on the blog since June 6th. I had gotten in a good rhythm and was excited again and then the vampire of the third trimester just came and sucked the life out of me and I kept saying “Okay tomorrow I’ll write a post” and then “okay next week I will try to post” and then nothing. Only so much energy in this body of mine right now and blogging didn’t make the cut. Stinks because I had so many good ideas in my head. If only there was a way to just let me THINK THEM and then they just show up on the blog. Until then…neglected blog is neglected.
If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that OMG WE ARE OFFICIALLY ON BABY WATCH OMG HOW DID THIS HAPPEN WHO LET THIS HAPPEN????? I am 38 weeks come tomorrow (Tuesday). WHAT WHAT WHAT. I mean, we are in the home stretch. Which THANK GOD because I’m so tired of being pregnant but I’m also in that time period where I’m like YEAH I AM NOT READY FOR A NEWBORN TO BE PHYSICALLY HERE. I would also tell you that this week is my LAST WEEK OF WORK and then I’m on maternity leave PRAISE JEEEESUS. Work has been especially tough lately because I’m uncomfortable and huge and it’s hot out (like high 80’s) and that makes it really hard to be a nanny to two super active kids who want to be outside all the time. I thought going to the pool would make it more bearable but NOPE not with two kids who are in and out and only like the pool that has NO SHADE near it. So needless to say I’m ready for some relaxation before this baby gets here…..this baby that still has no name because we are deadlocked on the three we have in mind.
If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that my 7 year blog anniversary was last week! I can’t believe I’ve been writing on this blog for SEVEN YEARS. I think back to the 24 year old I was when I started it and the 31 year old I am now and it’s just amazing to me all the things that this blog has brought to me. Sure, I didn’t become famous or rich from this blog but I’m really proud of what I did, I got out of my comfort zone with a lot of things, I met some of my best friends, I became the person I really was but hid from my friends back then, I traveled because of this blog and I just really found a place to talk about books and life and it’s been awesome. Everything is so uncertain in my immediate future right now (except sleepless nights…they seem pretty certain) but I know that this blog will always remain a place for me. No idea how this blog will continue to evolve or even how frequently I will be here but I know that it’s going to be a place I can come to and connect with you guys.
If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that as my journey into parenthood is starting that I’ve been thinking how different my life looks like from what I thought it would be. I just imagined myself as so much more of an adult — a good career (that I maybe even loved) and a house that I owned. And I think how off track it got. Losing my job in 2012 threw everything off and it threw ME off. I busted my butt to find a new job in marketing again and then I ended up nannying because BILLS and then….I just kind of lost my way in terms of what I even wanted out of a career. I just became content with nannying and that’s really hard to admit because it’s not what I wanted…it wasn’t the good kind of content. I associated so much of the job searching process with depression. I’ve never been so scared for myself when I was unemployed and then even when I tried to look for jobs after getting my nannying job. It also made my self-esteem plummet. That much rejection is just…hard. I really began to doubt myself and my abilities that I had been so sure of before. And I feel like that’s where I’m at right now. I feel frustrated with myself for not figuring out something else because I know how hard it’s going to be to start over after all this time. I feel embarrassed because I have nothing to show for myself and I have a child coming into the world who I want to provide for. I’m thankful that Will has been the most patient and loving husband even though I know my job situation has hurt us a lot. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know what I want to do. But I’m hoping this little one inside me will help give me the motivation to figure it out. I’d ask if you ever experienced anything like this…
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I’m currently 6 books ahead of my Goodreads reading challenge goal which is a record for me. I only put it to 75 books because I knew I would have a newborn halfway in the year and it still might be a little bit lofty of a goal for me, who knows, but I’m pretty proud of myself right now! I’d ask if you set a reading goal this year and how you were doing on it.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that the next time I probably write one of these If We Were Having Coffee posts I will be a human in charge of another human and that’s crazy and how are Will and I going to be responsible for a newborn and keep her and the dog alive in our small one bedroom apartment??? I’m weirdly calm right now as we are on the verge of this humongous life change and I don’t know where that came from because I’m not really a calm person so probably I’m going to have a meltdown on the way to the hospital or something. Boy is this going to be an adventure….
If we were having coffee…what would you tell me? Come on…lay it all out! It’s just you, me, the pleasant sounds of a cafe…and maybe some other eyes in the comment section but NBD right?? Our we can have coffee in my inbox if you don’t feel comfortable. I really want to know! What’s going on with you?
Angela says
I know how you feel about losing a job and trying to recover from it. I was laid off in 2010 and it took me over 8 months to find a new job. I trained to start a new career, so not only did I have to find a job, it was going to be in a field where everything would be new. It’s been over 6 years now at that new job and although I enjoy it, I still feel “behind” compared to all my siblings (especially salary-wise). And like you, I’m so lucky to have my husband, who was still my boyfriend when I lost my job, who only wanted to help and protect me at that hard time.
Jamie says
It’s so hard to be laid off :/ I don’t want to blame it for why I’m not where I should be but I MEAN…it’s kind of hard not to. I didn’t plan to leave until I found another job (I hated that job and was always looking). Thank goodness for supportive husbands!!
Alyssa says
Oh, man. Let me just say: I am right there with you. I’ve been reading your blog for a few years now, but this year I can really relate to life things going on. I’m 34 weeks pregnant and am still feeling a little disbelief that in about a month I’m going to be a parent. Where on earth did the time go? Am I really ready to take care of another human being when I don’t even know what direction I want my own life to go in?
I feel like all my spare brain space has been taken over by reading pregnancy books, looking at baby junk on Pinterest, planning, worrying, and counting down the days. I work outside every day for my job, so I can also relate to the discomfort of being in your third trimester and having to sweat it out in the heat and humidity. Even just sitting down can be so uncomfortable, never mind all the other pleasant side effects (heartburn!).
I am also experiencing similar feelings about my job and the future of my “career path.” I thought that by now I ‘d have everything under control, be content with my work, and that I’d be making a decent wage. Instead I’ve allowed myself to get stuck in a job that I hate. Day in, day out, dealing with customers and their first-world problems. I feel mentally exhausted. I don’t feel challenged, I don’t feel rewarded, and I get no positive emotional benefits from being there 5 days a week. At my previous job, my self confidence was smashed. I was relatively fresh out of college and thought that it was going to be great. Enter the real world and a boss that was a total dick. Five years later I still feel like I’m lacking confidence and drive.
I have no idea what I’m going to do once my daughter gets here. I think I want to stay home and care for her, but I’m also scared of what might happen if I let myself drift away from having a job. I feel like I’m going to forget things and that I’ll have a harder time getting back into the working world. Never mind the fact that my husband and I have a massive amount of school loans left to pay off…how are we going to do that and save up for other things on one income? The uncertainty gets to me every day.
I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling overwhelmed by baby and work and life things right now. I wish you the best of luck as your due date draws nearer, and hope that you have a safe delivery and happy, healthy baby!
Heather says
Recovering from job loss can be so hard. It happened to my husband unexpectedly and he was without a job for many months during which time we racked up a LOT of debt because my job doesn’t make nearly enough to cover all of our expenses. So yeah… we’re still trying to pay off massive amounts of debt and because of that I wasn’t able to quit my job like I had originally hoped to stay at home with our kiddos. I’ve made peace with it now and I’m still convinced that at some point I’ll be able to pick our kids from school and take them to activities and just spend more time with them. All in good time. It’s a learning experience, but we’ve always pulled through and I’m one of those annoying types who believes that everything happens for a reason. 😉
Bekka says
I felt the same way at that stage in my pregnancy. I mean, I was induced at 38 weeks, and I was STILL kind of in a state of disbelief as I went to the hospital that morning. It stillll didn’t feel real as I was in labor. Even when I finally had her in my arms, I was like, “Wait, why are the nurses leaving me alone like I know what I’m doing??” But I will say that even though it’s this huge, monumental life change, once she was home it felt like she had always been there. What did I even do before I had a baby? Hasn’t she always been a part of me? The strangest and best feeling all in one.
For what it’s worth I think you’re going to be an incredible mom and that baby inside you is so, so lucky to have you and Will.
Lisa @ Reading, Writing, and Random Musings says
I love how much you open your heart up to everyone when writing. It’s amazing. Don’t beat yourself up for where you feel like you should be in life right now. Take a deep breath and be grateful for where you are and what you have. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and that we end up where we are meant to end up. Hold tight little chick, everything will fall into place with time 🙂
Evelina says
I LOVE these posts and I’ve read your last one, I think! So glad I figured out it’s yours, cause I was having paranoia here. Talk about dejavu.
I know what you mean about thoughts turning into posts. I’ve had that feeling A LOT! I normally just write down the ideas. So maybe I can re-think them later when I have time.
Your words about jobs are so touching. I work in marketing, you know. I somehow managed to go out and work freelance, when I had to flee the horrible situation in my agency. I know I’ve been so lucky. But the thing is, I also switched careers, only not out, but INTO marketing. I was an electronics engineer and just started working “wherever” when I lost my job. That “wherever” was marketing.
Wishing you the best of luck on your biggest job right now – your little one. Stay cool! And save up on sleep in advance 😀 (I know, bullshit!)
India says
Ahh, congrats on your little one!! I don’t have any kids yet, but I’ve always heard my mom say that after birth, you kind of just instinctively know what to do. I have no idea if this is true or not, but my mom is pretty great so I’m inclined to believe her! Hope this helps!
Christin says
I can relate to losing a job and losing direction a bit. I turned thirty this year, and I am not where I imagined that I would be by this age. I ended up semi-changing careers a few years ago, and even though I do love my job, there is part of me that wishes that I hadn’t given up on my first passion. I see what other people are still doing in that field and I feel like a failure. But I have to believe that all of our life experiences come together in a way that lets us build a better future.
Good luck on your maternity leave! I hope it proves to be a good and meaningful time for you. Congratulations on your little one!
Rebecca says
Now that I’m not book blogging, I don’t keep up with all the exciting news, but I recently found out you’re pregnant from one of your tweets. How exciting! Congrats to you both, I’m sure you’ll do great! I set a goal of 20 books for this year, far too tired for a grand goal these days, but it’s awesome you’re 6 ahead!
From experience, I know it’s hard when your life doesn’t go according to plan or look the way you pictured it would. But just know we all have our own paths and journeys and we will find our way in the end, we’re just taking the path less travelled.
I remember you mentioned you were hoping to get a job at a bookshop way back. I don’t what job you’re interested in and where your passions lie (aside from books and car dancing, of course!), but I know of something that may be of interest, if you’d like to know more. On another note, I’m a Health Coach and I’d be happy to have a chat and do a free health consultation via Skype. Chat things out, maybe it will spark something. Happy to chat further/email so you can put a name to a face, I promise I’m more than a funny face emoji character 🙂 No pressure or anything, just putting the offer out there. Best of all luck with everything!
Judi Easley says
I’m so glad we can sit down and have a cuppa today! It’s always nice to chat. I remember these crises and going through the panic of not having any idea of how to take care of myself, never mind another person! Charley and I were in the Navy when we met. Then I got out and had no idea what I wanted to do for work. Then I got pregnant when his ship was in port (of course). I went back to school for awhile, but then he got transferred and my degree program wasn’t available and I had my hands full with taking care of my son. Then I got pregnant again and he got transferred again and I had my daughter. West Coast son, East Coast daughter. What fun! We made the best of it. I tried working from time to time, but it was just office work. Nothing to do with my art degree. And you know, all that time I really did sort of know what to do with those precious little lives. When I didn’t have an answer, there was always the pediatrician to call on. It all worked out. They grew up to be good people, too. My little baby boy is now 30. My little princess is almost 28. They’ve both been through college and are now gainfully employed, not necessarily using their degrees. They are nice people. I went back to college and finished a degree in graphic design just about the time they were graduating from high school. That was about the time the economy crashed and no one was hiring newbie designers. So I went to work in an office for awhile and then retired with a disability. I am now 4 years into blogging and have finally converted my fashion, home decor, art blog to book reviews Monday through Friday, 1 review 5 days a week. I spend time with my sister who retired a year ago. I spend time with my husband who is still teaching 6th graders. And I spend time with my kids. Mostly I spend time with my little black cat, Emma reading and writing book reviews. But life goes on and I’ve reached contentment. Happy and sad happen from time to time, but mostly it’s contentment, which is nice. After 35 years with the same man, I can say I’m still in love with him, and love him more now than I did when I married him. Probably because I understand love more now than I did then having experienced much more of it in my life. Treasure the ups and downs and even the contentment. They are what life is made of. Treasure the man who travels the road of life with you and support him with your love. And treasure the precious life you now carry. Trust yourself with its care.
It was really nice to have coffee with you this morning. We’ll have to do this again sometime.
Judi at the Blue Cat Review
http://www.bluecatreview.us/
https://bluecatreview.wordpress.com/
Lauren @ Bookmark Lit says
Eeeep, I can’t believe how soon the baby will be here! Will you continue your job as a nanny later and be able to bring your daughter along? I had a friend who did that, which was a great way to still work and earn money while not having to worry about daycare costs for your own kid. Good luck on the name decision! haha I can’t even imagine. Hopefully she’ll pop out and you’ll just know 😉
Ciara Smyth says
Yes I absolutely have been through/am going through what you are re: career. I had a long period of illness after university and my life went completely ‘off track’. I think it’s worth bearing in mind if you can though, that there is no track. There is only trying to balance what makes you happy with what you need to survive. I’m 31 too and considering a complete change in direction from what I’m actually qualified for. I just can’t see myself going back to that place (teaching) and I feel too old and all of that stuff. But how absurd? I’m 31, you’re 31! Life is twisty and weird and imperfect and a job is not your identity.
Chrystal says
I love this! You words describe it perfectly: “Life is twisty and weird and imperfect and a job is not your identity.” ❤
Tanya Patrice says
I feel you completely! It took me 5 years to recover from leaving a job. I worked part-time during that period which was a blessing, but it was practically for free. And when I got back in the job market, I was severely underpaid. It soudns rough – and it was, but I learned early on to 100% appreciate the time that your off. When you do get back into work – it’s a hustle and grind for 8+ hours a day. So enjoy every minute you can. And also, learn, learn LEARN – every free course, certificate, training new skill that you can get online – and at your local community college. And CONGRATULATIONS!!
Chrystal says
Jamie! Things will be okay. You’ll adapt to being a new Mom and wonder how you didn’t do it sooner. As for the job and life and where you are right now, I’m 37 and still feel this way. You are not alone. I have a job not a career and I’m looking for a new one because after finishing maternity leave I realize I need to make more money now and be happier where I work. I want to be a stay at home Mom, but it just doesn’t seem to be in the cards right now. Money stresses me out regardless if we are tight for money or not… I always have a fear of failing. Adulting is hard! Parenting can be hard, but is so rewarding. And it makes everything worth it. 😍 You are going to be a GREAT Momma and things will work out. Enjoy time with your baby.
Elizabeth says
This probably isn’t the most helpful with a kid on the way, but a masters in library school doesn’t require any pre-recs, can be done online, and my friends who did the children’s librarian track seem to be having a blast! It might be something to look into?