I saw a life coach I love, Ashley, do a post entitled If We Were Having Coffee and I decided to take her lead and do one myself in November 2013 because I loved it and sometimes I feel like we forget that there is a whole life behind the people that write and read blogs. I got such a great response to my initial post so I made it a reoccurring thing for the past couple of years and do it when I feel so inclined!
Grab your coffee/beverage of your choice and meet me for a chat. Currently I am drinking water because I’m really really trying to follow my own new mom self care guide and I’ve been slacking this week!
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’m currently reading The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory and it’s so cute and fun right now. Perfect read for my brain space right now which is sleep-deprived and overwhelmed. I’d ask you what you were reading.
If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that I saw this tweet and I realized it was totally calling me out. lol.
Getting your shit together requires a level of honesty, you can’t even imagine.
Ain’t nothing easy about realizing you’re the one that’s been holding you back this whole time..that your lack of discipline is the answer to some of those why not me questions you ask.
— J. (@astoldbyjayde) March 20, 2018
It’s ME. I can blame a lot of things but as I’ve been trying to get some things together in my life…I realize I’ve been standing in my own way some of the time. That is a slap in the face but it’s definitely making me do some MAJOR thinking about the things I’m trying to get together in my life and be brutally honest about the parts of ME that are standing in my own way. It’s been a fun journaling exercise today (a break from my beloved guided journaling) and I’m trying not to be mad at myself for some of the stuff I’m realizing about myself and the goals I haven’t accomplished or am struggling with.
If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that I’m super excited about my new theme on the blog!! I’m still tweaking it behind the scenes but I really just needed to do as much as I could to make it work just enough to launch it and then accountability would keep me motivated to work on it. Some things look funky if you venture too far into my site but I knew if I waited until i had it ALL done…you probably wouldn’t see this theme until next year. I got my theme from this company and I’m really pleased with it — and with the customer support and documentation that is so helpful in how to set it up and customize it. Highly rec!
If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that we are in the midst of the terrible 8 month regression and I am dying with how much we are up. She was sleeping AMAAAAZING for months and I felt more well rested than probably even before her and then it all fell apart. I feel like we have a newborn all over again. Just waiting it out….she’s obsessed with her newfound skills of crawling and standing up and she is wayyyy too distracted to eat much during the day because she’s just go go go. TRYING REALLY HARD TO REMIND MYSELF OF THESE LESSONS especially the fact that progress is not always linear. *repeats to self a million times* I AM JUST TIRED YOU GUYS. If we were actually having coffee I’d probably pass Riley off to you and take a nap right there in the cafe.
If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that I’m having a hard time juggling all the things I need to juggle right now. It’s hard, man. Mom guilt is the worst too. Obviously first and foremost I’m a mom and that’s important. But I’m also trying to keep on top of stuff in the apartment, I’m working, I’m trying to work on something career-wise that I think has promise, I’m trying to be a good wife, I’m trying to be a good friend. I’m trying to write this blog because it’s really self care for me to have this blog as an outlet and fee like ME. All on top of trying to take care of Riley and be a good mom. Oh and the fact I want to take time and try to work out so I feel good about myself. And I feel like in order to succeed in one of these areas I’m dropping the ball on all the others. I feel guilty that sometimes when I’m playing with Riley I’m thinking of my to-do list for my blog or come up with a great idea for my career-shaped thing I’m perusing. Sometimes all my energy is scattered and I feel like I’m coming up short with energy to be a good wife or friend. Sometimes I feel bad because all during her nap time I did things FOR ME and then the apartment is a mess. I’m just having a hard time juggling but am trying to give myself some grace here. I want to be present in everything I’m doing but that’s REALLY massively hard sometimes when there are so many things on my plate. I would ask you for the secret magic formula to getting it all done and not dropping ALL THE BALLS (yeah yeah I said BALLS I know..I laughed too). I’d ask that knowing it’s not possible and to just TRY MY BEST.
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that on top of all that WE ARE TRYING TO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO LIVE. We are definitely outgrowing this one bedroom apartment (which we knew we would by this time) and our lease is up in June so it’s time to figure out what our next move is. I’m not stressed about the thought of a move, NOPE NOPE NOT ME. Just add one more thing to my plate, no problem. God, I’m so going to miss the pool here at our apartment. It is SO nice and relaxing.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that, despite all the stress and feeling like a failure at everything, that I’m settling into #momlife better than I was a few months ago. Riley is a delight and she learns so quickly and if we were REALLY having coffee I’d probably be super annoying and rattle off all the cool things she’s doing (crawling, waving, pulling to stand, clapping, saying hi, feeding herself with a spoon, giving me her spoon when I ask her if she wants more) and show you a massive amount of videos I have on my phone. I’d also laugh about how she is WAY TOO MUCH LIKE ME. Sometimes I look at her and I’m like WHY ARE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE YOU LITTLE DIVA?? And then I’m like omg…she is me. I have created a mini-me. Her faces…they are priceless. And they are mine. She threw one particularly brutal face at Will and he was like “omg I’ve seen you make that face.” GOD HELP US ALL.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that we are going to Disney in November (although I think I already told you that) but we are trying to think of a small little trip to do this summer with Riley. I want to get her used to traveling ASAP so she’s a pro. I can’t decide if I want city or nature!! I was kind of thinking New England because it’s driveable from Philly and we have family near Boston. Any suggestions of low key vacation ideas that wouldn’t be a disaster with a 1 year old??
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’m grateful for how many of you have stuck by me with the blog despite my new direction over these last few months. It means a lot to me. I know a lot of you found me probably because of book stuff but I appreciate when you are interested in the OTHER things I write about. And, like, I totally get if things I’m writing about aren’t your thing…it’s quite the change in direction but my hopes are that I will have a pretty even spread of different things to talk about so hopefully if you do stick with me there will be something that piques your interest every now and again. It’s scary shifting direction because I was afraid my blog would become crickets but so far we are okay and honestly I’m just really HAPPY about writing on the blog again. I know I’ve said that a bunch of times but I am just renewed and genuinely excited about everything I’m doing. It seems all so natural for me…I hope it’s not awkward and fumbly as readers.
If we were having coffee…what would you tell me? Come on…lay it all out! It’s just you, me, the pleasant sounds of a cafe…and maybe some other eyes in the comment section but NBD right?? Our we can have coffee in my inbox if you don’t feel comfortable. I really want to know! What’s going on with you?
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Kim says
If we were having coffee I’d tell you how I’m laid awake at night worrying about money, I’ve recently moved and due to difficult circumstances, ended dup renting somewhere above my budget. I love the flat, but I’m terrified that I’m out of my depth.
Love the concept of this post. Thank you for coffee and keep at it, you’re doing great, Kim x
Rachel @ Never Enough Novels says
Love the new blog design! I’m over the moon about discovering Canva, so I too can now create those fancy feature images that have words over pictures! It’s all about the little (but big to me) things. Also, I’m in the Lehigh Valley so hopefully can help with mini vacation ideas! We’re all about driving and New England is a terrific option. Vermont is full of hiking and cute towns. Boston / Maine would be a great combo, even if you only get up to Portland, Maine. Everything further north might be a bit too far away. We’ve also gone down to the western part of Virginia near Charlottesville to see small towns, wineries, beautiful mountains, and Monticello.
Lauren @ Bookmark Lit says
If you’re looking for something relaxing and beachy near Boston, you definitely can’t go wrong with Cape Cod! I love Dennis/Dennisport and Falmouth as two good spots out there. Plenty of shopping, seafood restaurants, outdoor activities like the beach and mini golf, etc. I’ve been going there since I was probably one year old, so I know it works 😉
April Books & Wine says
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I am struggling so hard right now balancing being a mom, my job, doing job duties for someone out on leave and right now my self care is completely being ignored. My husband is in another state for training this week and then comes back Saturday for like 20 minutes and is off again to drill with the National Guard. I am having such a tough time solo parenting, after getting to my job today I just sat in the driver’s seat and sobbed because no one else was at the office yet and I needed a good cry. I ended up kind of begging/bribing people on facebook to help me get just a break to have me time and IT WORKED! I have until 7:45 tonight for myself and a few hours tomorrow! I’d tell you motherhood and all the pressure to be the perfect parent and constantly present but also have a clean house, bring home the bucks, get the promotions, lose the baby weight, is so hard and I want to know the secret of how everyone else is able to do it.
Regarding traveling, New England sounds awesome. I liked Rhode Island the one time I was there, it’s just so pretty.
But seriously, I love the changes and I love how willing you are to be vulnerable with us about your struggles. It makes me feel less alone. I know we text from time to time, but yeah, it’s still just great the direction that you’re going in for this blog.
Heather says
If we were having coffee I’d first give you a hug and tell you it means a lot you are being real and sharing. I’d tell you that I know the feeling of juggling a lot, and trying not to drop anything/feel like you might fail at something, then realizing life will go on if you have to set something down to take a breath. And then I’d suggest that next time we take our coffee to go and indulge in pedicures. 🙂 xx
Nicole Flower says
Hey there mama, what a fun post idea. I am so relaxed now and thinking I might need to grab another cup of coffee even though like you, I should reach for water! Happy weekend 🙂
Jennifer Penas says
I absolutely LOVE this idea! What a great post! Oh she will sleep again I promise! I know how hard it is when you’re not seeing as much sleep as normal. Hang in there!
Annemieke says
If we were having coffee I would tell you that sleep regression is so painful. We had a really bad time during December and January because he was teething and oh my gosh, the exhaustion was real. It is good to remind yourself of things not being linear but you are more than allowed to have moments where you are bummed out about the lack of sleep or even cranky. We are only human after all. 😉
If we were having coffee I would tell you I had anxiety about a gyneacologist app this week and even though it went fine, I still was emotionally out of the running for 2 days after. Vaginism sucks.
Madeline Hall says
Love your honesty in this post! How exciting you are going to Disney later this year. That is something to look forward to for sure!
Erica Robyn says
I love this so much!!
Whitney says
I love this blog post! Such a great way to learn more about you. My blog is food related, but doing something like this is a great idea….
Amber @ The Literary Phoenix says
I was going to suggest Cape Cod as well! Boston itself would be a bit busy for the little one I imagine, and I think the drive from Philly to Massachusetts would be quite sufficient and you probably wouldn’t want to go further north to Vermont (beautiful always).
If we were having coffee, I’d remind you that life is an adventure that comes with a marvellous view, and to keep taking it day by day, to celebrate your little accomplishments.
I love this post.
Amaris (amarisafloria.com) says
I’ve been hearing about THE WEDDING DATE so much! I gotta put that on hold at my library and save it for a rainy day. There are some days I just want to binge-read a book and cutesy books are always perfect for that. I started A WRINKLE IN TIME last night because I want to read it before I watch the movie. I have this vivid memory of me as a child trying to get past the first page, but it was so hard for me to read it back then. I think this time around, it’ll be a little easier! Hopefully …
Yeah, I think it’s important to be kind to yourself. And it is impossible to do everything all at once in a short period of time. Even if you’re working on it slowly, that’s making progress! For myself, I’ve found it helps to choose three things to do the night before so you’re ready to tackle those items when you wake up. And then actually documenting what you do! So at the end of the day, you can look back and see what you’ve done.
You’re doing great, mama!
Holly says
This is such a genius idea for a post! Love the format so much that I think I’ll have to do a post like this on my blog, too 🙂 Loved seeing what you’re up to!
Vivian says
I came across your blog for the first time today through bloglovin’ and I thoroughly enjoyed this post! I am a 50-something who has been where you are right now, so I definitely understand!! You are doing an awesome job. Enjoy the journey, make awesome memories, and be true to you … that’s what I would say to you if we were having coffee. The years fly by honey. Definitely keep this post going. It will be very helpful to others and for you as well. Like I said, I really enjoyed reading it and hope to see future posts. Keep up the good work! Make the most of every day, don’t sweat the small stuff, and as for the things that don’t get done on that massive to-do list…well,,,they will keep for another beautiful day. Love this post concept! Thanks for sharing, and look forward to having coffee again with you very soon….
Nicole Shillings says
I absolutely love this! I am going to have to read that article and come up with my own things to say if we were having coffee. Actually I know what they are all, but putting them down would be helpful.
Elise Ho says
Oh I love the idea of this post and would love to continue it on my blog. If we were having coffee I would not be able to contain my excitement to share with you all of the details of the first ever Spiritual / Self development MLM and how thrilled I am for what w this will mean to my business, my clients lives and the lives of everyone I help to touch their own clients.
Michelle says
If we were having coffee IRL, Jamie, I would correct you on your statement “Obviously first and foremost I’m a mom and that’s important.” Nope! First and foremost, YOU are a human being, a woman with her own needs and wants. When you take care of yourself first, your other roles get the benefit. So go get that workout in if you need to. Put Riley down and write that post. It teaches her to be independent, and you are going to be more focused on her when you accomplish everything you need to accomplish to take care of yourself. Put aside the guilt, girl!! We as women carry too much guilt, and it is what makes it so easy for men to override us. It is not selfishness to put yourself first. It is how we can be all the things and keep our sanity. Remember those safety instructions on a plane – put your breathing mask on first before that of your child’s. There is a reason for this that we all need to remember when it comes to our lives. Take care of yourself first so that you can be there for your other relationships.
Samaris says
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that being pregnant while in college is definitely one of the most challenging things I have taken on thus far. There’s that constant feeling of needing to do better, needing to do homework/study while having to tend to your growing body that may not be up for homework today. I’d also tell you that there is a financial burden clouding over my head and I am trying so hard to maintain positive not only for my self but for my baby’s health. Looking at how things are becoming a bit more difficult each day, I am nervous at how well I will be able to handle life when baby arrives. I like to balance it all without killing some of the eggs in my basket (phrase from my Eng101 professor), and I am just afraid that I will be a total mess.
If we were having coffee… I’d thank you for allowing me to vent and laugh. Laughing is good for the soul, and all mommies need some good food for the soul once in a while. Love your post and getting to know you through a screen. Please keep these coming!
Jamie says
Ahh *hugs* I don’t even know HOW you are functioning and doing all that you are doing. When I would come home from work while pregnant I would just literally pass out and then wake up only to go to bed lol.
YOU GOT THIS. And honestly, my advice: 1) ask for help and let people help you. I LOATHE doing that but once I had Riley I leaned on my village a bit! Instead of being “no that’s okay!” I was like YES YOU CAN BRING THAT MEAL AND HOLD THE BABY WHILE I TAKE SHOWER. 2) Give yourself some grace and accept you won’t be able to/can’t be able to do it ALL and do it all amazingly. I’m still learning this one. I literally just told Will the other day I feel like I’m juggling so many things and can really only do one of them well thus failing in every other aspect. Google Honey boo boo juggling gif…that’s me lol. So for me, I’m doing half of a good job on blogging, half of a good job being a wife, our apartment has taken the biggest hit and is a mess, I’m mostly an attentive mom….things will even out. Eventually.
YOU GOT THIS!
Tizzy Brown says
I can so relate to what you said about trying to juggle so many different areas of your life. I try to do a little bit of everything each day, but usually, I don’t get it all done and the main area that I’m neglecting at the moment is my friends and social life. It’s hard to split your focus in so many different directions, but I guess that people who know us understand that.