I saw a life coach I love, Ashley, do a post entitled If We Were Having Coffee and I decided to take her lead and do one myself in November 2013 because I loved it and sometimes I feel like we forget that there is a whole life behind the people that write and read blogs. I got such a great response to my initial post so I made it a reoccurring thing for the past couple of years and do it when I feel so inclined!
Grab your coffee/beverage of your choice and meet me for a chat. I’m currently drinking water (boring, I know!) but it’s too late in the day for me to drink coffee.
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If we were having coffee….I’d tell you I’m reading Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid. If y’all have been around here for long enough you know how much I love her books! I’m enjoying it so much!! I’d ask what you are currently reading….
If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that I haven’t been blogging much for a couple of reasons: 1) I’m just so struggling with what I want this blog to be these days. I go back and forth all the time on it. 2) I haven’t been so sparkly lately. Winter blues? Stay at home mom blues during the winter (I love being home with Riley but being a SAHM is hard for me)? I don’t know. It’s been hard to talk about though and pinpoint what’s going on here but it’s just made me NOT motivated to blog at all. But I miss you guys! A lot! And I miss feeling like ME. I’m not generally so mopey and blah — normally very excitable and have a zeal for life!
If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that I’ve been active over on Instagram in this time. If you don’t follow me over there, you absolutely should because you’ll get a peek into my reading life, my daily life with Riley and way more! I feel like I’ve been really enjoying the community of book lovers on there. It feels a lot like how book blogging used to be and I’ve missed that. I won’t ever abandon the blog but I just am loving the community that is so active.
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If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that I’ve been feeling really lonely still. I still don’t know many people in this area. I still only see my bffs, now that we’ve all seemed to move, every other month. I think that has NOT been helping with where I’ve been at mentally. It also makes social media hard sometimes. That feeling where you can be in a room full of people but still feel alone? That’s how I feel sometimes which has also been why I’ve been trying to be more active with Bookstagram. I started my book club and that’s nice but nothing has extended beyond that. I’d ask you your best tricks to make new friends in a new town…
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I’ve been feeling all out of sorts when it comes to balance. I feel like when I’m excelling or feeling good about one area of my life I feel like I’m failing and dropping all the balls in all the other areas of life I’m juggling. I feel like I can’t be invested in one thing very fully and it sucks. I get too into motherhood and don’t do anything else and I feel awful. I try to do a lot of other things and then I feel like a bad mom. I try to keep a clean house and then I feel burnt out because I’m using all my free time when Riley is sleeping to do that. I try to get lots of self care time and our house becomes a wreck. It just keeps weighing on me. I try to recognize that I can’t be and do all the things but that is HARD to feel like you are just half-assing most things in life. I think I just feel like several parts of a person right now — not a whole person. Which I think contributes to feeling like I don’t know who I am.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that we’ve decided to stay here at least another year in this house. I don’t love the area still but it makes sense for us right now and I love the house for the most part. I also really love being close to my sister and her family. I’ve loved watching Riley get so close with her cousins. It’s been a struggle to find joy in this new area I’m in but I’m trying. (lol literally my new life motto — I AM TRYING)
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you I’ve been going so stir crazy not being able to travel. We are now on one income with me staying home and things are TIGHT and travel just….isn’t a thing that we can do right now. I had to mute all the travel accounts I follow for the most parts because I just crave it so much in my bones and I hate not being able to do it right now. I try to find wiggle room in our budget and I can’t justify it. I’ve cut out so much stuff in life and there’s still no room. I just keep planning fake trips I can’t take and UGH this is where I wish I could teleport haha.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that my reading life has been great so far this year! I’ve really still been going hard on the adult fiction. It’s just what I want right now. I have been SO in YA for most of the years of this blog that it’s so weird to be reading less of it right now. But I just go where my reading whims take me. I’d ask you how your reading life has been so far this year…
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that if you are struggling right now…you aren’t alone. I feel like it’s hard to balance being honest where I’m really at mentally and in life vs being “too negative” on social media. I’ve been struggling since I had Riley in so many different ways and it keeps getting better but I’m not “in the clear”. I’m still in this really long funk it feels and if you’ve been dealing with some crap…I’m with you here in the trenches. I’m trying my best to get out of it and emerge my joyful self again but it’s been a tough road. And it always feels hard to talk about because 1) it’s hard to pinpoint what I’m feeling all the time and the cause of it and 2) I don’t want to appear ungrateful or that I don’t love being Riley’s mom like I’ve been made to feel by a couple people. But I see you right now if you are struggling and trying to slap on a good face for the world…you aren’t alone!
If we were having coffee…what would you tell me? Come on…lay it all out! It’s just you, me, the pleasant sounds of a cafe…and maybe some other eyes in the comment section but NBD right?? Our we can have coffee in my inbox if you don’t feel comfortable. I really want to know! What’s going on with you?
P.S. If you need some reading ideas, check out this list of books becoming movies in 2019 or these must read adult fiction books for 2019.
Lil Pingwing says
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that my son is finally sleeping and it’s amazing but I can’t trust that it will last forever. We’ve gone without sleep for too long for me.to really be happy about these new changes.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that the world made me very sad this week. It was just sad story after sad story after sad story. I couldn’t even read my cozy mysteries because I just didn’t want to read about people dying. So I’ve been reading jenny Colgan novels which are light and fluffy but don’t made me sad. I feel a little embarrassed to just want to escape into a happy book but sometimes I need to do more than be sad.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that I’m half assing everything too. And I’m spending so much free time cleaning, only to find it all a mess again minutes later. I just need to come to grips with the fact that this is the mess my life will be for a bit. And that’s okay.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that your words and stories make me smile and feel like I’m not alone. I don’t really think I’m part of the book community or anything but I always love reading your blog or twitter or instagram stuff. I know there’s someone else out there going through the same stuff as me.
Jamie says
That is amazing!! Always thankful for any sleep. Riley’s sleep has been so up and down these 19 months that I’m just like IT IS WHAT IT IS. And it sucks a lot of the times haha. We are going through a good sleep period now so I just hope it lasts. Every time I’m like MAYBE THIS IS IT!!! Maybe it will just be the odd bad night. But then it becomes like a week or 2 of bad sleep lol.
The world is really depressing right now. I don’t blame you for finding solace in happy books! No shame in that! I started watching comedies more (not something I super love) because of the same reasons. I needed less sad things lol
UGH yes I have come to terms with the fact my house will never be spotless but god I would just like to stay on top of things a little. I have also come to terms with the fact there will be Riley clutter always. I clean it up and it’s back out. We try to work on the cleaning it up herself but only goes so well for so long lol
And thank you! <3 I appreciate your kind words today.
Katie says
I would tell you that I’m be nervous about making friends when I move. I’m finally moving in May and it’s a huge change. I don’t know many people and I’m nervous nervous making friends.
I would tell you that I’m really upset with myself (even though I know it’s not my fault) that I have to start insulin. It’s overwhelming and scary. I know it’s best for my body and will keep me alive but wow. What a huge change already.
I’d tell you that I can’t wait to keep you updated on all the adventures I’m going to have on my road trip to Tennessee and tell you how thankful I am for all the love and support you’ve shown us all these years.
Jamie says
I’m so excited for you and Molli!! Moving is hard though and making friends is not always easy so I can see how you are feeling nervous. BUT you are wonderful and you will find the right people! I’ve been working at the friend thing in my new town — I started a book club haha
It’s NOT your fault. At all. And I can imagine how scary it is and what a change to your day. You got this, my friend. You are strong and have all of us around you for support!
Lauren @ Bookmark Lit says
I’ve heard of BumbleBFF recently, I think you go on and try to match with new friends? Not sure if it’s really a thing everywhere yet but someone I know has been using it lately. Maybe that would be a good idea for your new area! It’s hard to feel lonely like that – I definitely understand. When we moved to Maine we had each other, which was great, but it was weird to not have anyone else to hang out with unless we went home.
I feel similarly about our house! I love it (minus the lack of storage space) and the location is actually decent, but it’s close to the road and a little bit busier than we like. Sometimes it feels like we’re in the boonies but other times we realize how lucky we are to be close to some great things (like the University of Connecticut and all of their great restaurants/things to do!). It definitely helps to find a few things or places you love 🙂
I wish I could travel for myself lately – every single trip lately is for a wedding or a bachelorette and I wish we could go somewhere for just us this year. Some weekend getaways will probably happen but ugh.
Jamie says
okay so I signed up for something similar called Peanut! But then I like ghosted everybody because I wasn’t in a good place mentally. I just couldnt deal with trying to make friends right now. UGH. I feel worse about it.
Your area sounds great though — quiet but also lots to do!! I will say I’ve been trying to find little things I love — like just even finding “our” breakfast spot and loving doing that a lot of weekends.
Lisa W. says
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this winter is really getting to me. The little hints of spring we are starting to see are making me feel worlds better, and I cannot wait for more sunshine and warmth!
Jamie says
the winter is the worst!! I need Spring!!
Annemieke says
Hugs. I feel you on feeling like you aren’t doing anything right as a mom. I feel like that a lot, especially on days that Merijn is trying (and that is putting it lightly my gosh). I’m glad you can still see good things when you look at Riley. There was a time this winter where I didn’t. I’m glad I got passed that with some group therapy course. Spring is coming, and that helps. I hope it will help you too.
I have decided that self-care for me is more important than a super clean house. I try to do things when the husband is home or when merijn is awake but rarely do I do them during my alone times. It just makes me into a not so nice person otherwise.
Jamie says
*hugs* It’s SO hard. I’ve been there with you. and YES self care really is so much more important to me than a super clean house. I can live with it. And some days a clean house is the self care i need!! Just gotta go with what will make you feel good and most energized.
Laurie says
Girl, making friends in a new place is HARD. I’ve lived in my current location for 9 years and I am still struggling to find my people. I have a 3-year-old, and everyone always throws out the “mom tribe” and “mom village” labels, but I don’t really have that. Being a mom is very lonely.
I’ve been reading a lot, too, mainly because of my work commute. I’m going through “Is Life Like This?” about how to write a novel in 6 months. I’ve always wanted to write a book, but I keep setting myself back for a variety of reasons. I’m hoping this how-to really helps me just get something down on the page.
Gayathri says
I am obsessed over Instagram these days too. And I realized I have not been following you, so I rectified it now. I loved hearing about your personal life.
Jamie says
It’s just EASY to do Instagram and way more activity over there. It’s hard because blogging will always be my favorite but it’s just not as active community wise anymore. So I stay here and write for the people I’ve cultivated a community with and then I go to Insta to be a part of the great book community!