Are We Out Of The Woods Yet?

If there is one thing you’ve learned about me over the years it’s that I am a very sentimental person and everything is ridiculously significant to me so I reflect a lot about the most random of things.

I can even make going to a Taylor Swift concert an emotional thing. So, yeah, I went to see Taylor Swift yesterday in Philly. It was awesome. As one would expect. I’ll get to the experience but first I’m going to get a little emo on y’all. IS IT A DAY THAT ENDS IN Y?

This was not my first Taylor Swift concert. I saw Taylor Swift in February of 2007 at a small venue called Crocodile Rock near her hometown and about 45 minutes from me. I went with my college roomies on a whim because we all loved her single Tim McGraw and had been listening to her album nonstop. (My Taylor Swift conversion was by force — they were all country fans and I was the pretentious little hipster who was too afraid to admit I liked it when they constantly played it but I so did. I WAS SO ANNOYING IN COLLEGE). Taylor was adorable, talented and sweet. I remember her pulling up a little girl on stage for Stay Beautiful. It was just a great experience and it made me a fan of her even more.

So here we are like 8 years later. EIGHT YEARS HOLY CRAP. A lot has changed in 8 years — for me and clearly for Taylor Swift who is playing to crowds of 50,000 now and is one of the biggest names out there. But there is something ridiculously significant to me as I reflect back on my own journey and that of Taylor’s in these years. I got a little emotional when I bought the tickets. When I first saw her I had just turned 21 a few months before and now I’m getting ready to turn 30 in a few months. MY LIFE WAS SO DIFFERENT.

When I first saw Taylor my mom had passed away just a few months before that in July of 2006. I was so lost and so unsure of myself because of that but also just in general because those early twenties are just a tumultuous time of growing in general. When I saw Taylor last night I’m at a place where things aren’t perfect but I feel like I’m out of the woods — I’ve made it through my 20’s and even though things at almost 30 are not what 21 year old Jamie would have expected them to be but I’m okay with that. I’m confident and more happy with who I am than I’ve ever been. I’m more myself than I’ve ever been and having a BLAST because of it. I’m doing things for ME and not worrying about what people (whose opinions don’t really matter) think. It was a long and tearful journey — some pretty hard friendship breakups and letting things/people go that had been a part of my life for so long, saying no to be able to say yes to the things truly of my heart, some definite comfort zone blasting and a lot of mistakes along the way. It was hard to realize how much of my life I lived for other people in my early 20’s — to make them like me, to have their approval, to fit in, to not rock the boat — all at the sacrifice of my own happiness and the real me. But if there is one lesson I’ve come out of my 20’s with is that life is too short to pretend to like things you don’t and to deny yourself the things you really do because of what people think. I’m quoting myself from this post.

And I can’t help but see some weird parallels between my life in these 8 years and Taylor’s life in these years since I last saw her (okay hers is much more exciting than mine but STILL). I mean, LOOK AT HER RIGHT NOW. She has come into her own so much. She’s owning who she is and what she wants to do. She’s letting herself go in directions that others might question and she’s doing it with CONFIDENCE and SWAG. And she’s just having a whole lot of fun with her life and not letting opinions that don’t matter dictate her life. It certainly hasn’t been easy for her and for every one who loves her she’s got plenty of people who want to knock her down. But she’s doing it. And at the heart of this world dominating Taylor Swift is still that sweet girl I saw sitting on a stool timidly just being so vulnerable with the audience and telling the stories of her heart.

It’s crazy how much can happen in 8 years. It’s humbling. It’s empowering. It’s motivating. It’s a reminder that I CAN GET THROUGH IT. 8 years later and I still miss my mom like crazy but it, and the other extremely difficult things I’ve faced in those years, DID NOT BREAK ME.

So, I don’t know, it might be this weird parallel because of my overly sentimental heart but if a Taylor Swift concert that bookends my incredibly tumultuous 20’s is the thing I needed to reflect and remind myself of how badass I am and how much strength I have inside of me…well then I will take it and run with it as I face my 30’s head on.

So let’s get to the actual concert!

Some highlights:

– IT WAS SUPER FUN. So much fun to sing and dance and not care about my white girl awkward dancing because there was a lot of that going on. Loved singing to all my faves! She really knows how to put on a good show (though sometimes she did a little too much inspirational talking for my taste before songs but they were probably things the younger crowd needed to hear from someone they look up to!)

–  OH MY GOSH SHE DID THE BEST VERSION OF LOVE STORY. It was like this re-imagined 1989-esque version of it and it was incredible. She recorded it here if you wanna listen:

– We got these cool little bracelets that flashed with different colors while she was singing. After the show was over if you tap them they still light up with different colors!

– Some awesome special guests: Rachel Platten (literally she sang Fight Song with Taylor which is the only song of hers I know!!) and Mariska Hargitay who I LOVE from Law & Order. (I will say I’m a little jealous that I was not there the night before when Echosmith joined her on stage!

– I loved looking at all the awesome costumes and t-shirts the Swifties were wearing! Some ballerinas and cheerleaders and people who made Instagram polaroids. AND TWO GIRLS DRESSED UP AS STARBUCKS CUPS. It was awesome.

– I loved how even when she’s playing to a crowd of 50,000 she still has that personal touch that makes you feel like she’s playing to a small crowd and how you feel like you really know her. It’s no wonder she’s got some of the most devoted fans ever.

– I loved how she included her bffs — in between some of the songs there were these cute videos with all of her bffs about what it’s like being friends with Taylor and just about female friendship and empowerment in general.

– HER OUTFITS WERE ON POINT.

– Vance Joy opened for her so I was happy to see him again because Will and I LOVE him (Will was a little jealous I got to see him again) but I will say his stuff is a little slower and less GET PUMPED FOR TAYLOR kind of music.

– Experiencing my first BIG Taylor concert with one of the biggest fans I know, my friend and fab book blogger Katie, who drove from CANADA to PHILLY to see her!

It was SUCH a fun night and I’m so happy that I was able to go — it was my Christmas present from Will! I’m still TOTALLY on a Taylor Swift high right now and I think Will might kill me if I have 1989 on repeat all day.