Book Talk: Firsts by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn

Want an “at a glance” look at what I thought? Check out my Review On A Post-It or my “Final Thought”

Mercedes, the main character, helps guys make their first time with their girlfriend perfect — or at least way better than her first time experience. She gives them tips for creating the perfect night and, well, hands on experience. The catch is they have to be virgins. She’s kept it a secret from her friends, the student body and her mom, who isn’t around much anyways. Soon word gets around a little too much and guys start trying to take advantage of her services — namely her best friend’s boyfriend who isn’t happy when she refuses and threatens to expose her and destroy her reputation.

It took me a looong time to process this one after I read it! So yeah….my brain was just cricket noises because it didn’t know what to think.

Woo boy, this book. I have thoughts and feelings. I had to try hard to block out my old lady feels towards what was going on because half the time I was like CHILD NO to many of the characters and situations. Firsts is definitely a honest and provocative book that will make you uncomfortable for sure but I loved the honest and open exploration of teen sexuality in it though I felt kind of conflicted about certain aspects.

The main character, Mercedes, takes it upon herself to help guys who are virgins so that their girlfriends’ first time is better than her first time was. And by help, I mean she sleeps with them to show them how to do it/gives pointers and tips and then helps them plan the other ways to make it special for their girlfriend. I’ll get to Mercedes’s motivations later but the whole time I was like ARE THESE GUYS DUMB? Like, yep, every girl wants their boyfriend to cheat on them in order to have a great first time. But then I’m like oh yeah…they are teenage guys? So naturally, even though I’m like OMG THIS IS A TRAINWRECK OF THE WORST KIND, I couldn’t put this book down.

Anyways, I did like how it portrayed a girl embracing her sexuality, enjoying it and feeling empowered by it (though sometimes I felt conflicted about it based on her reactions to some things and her reasons for doing it. Plus yay safe sex! I liked that it also kind of brushes on intimacy as well. Mercedes struggles with it and I enjoyed watching her explore that aspect of relationships.

I loved that her friend Angela (who is a REALLY great friend in this novel) also explored the other side of really questioning whether or not she wants to have sex right now. There wasn’t any shaming in the subtext of the book on either side and each exploration was thoughtful. I also REALLY loved this look into how there are all these expectations when it comes to sex. I haven’t been a teenager for a while but I just remember it being on my mind a lot going back and forth of whether or not I was “ready” and like the logistics (would it hurt? How bad? What do I do??) and the feeling of being incredibly terrified/excited about this THING that has been hyped up my whole entire existence- by people, by movies, by tv, by the talk at school. I just really loved the real talk.

A huge part of the plot of this novel is when things get out of hand (aka sometimes word of mouth is a little too good for your gig) and some people aren’t coming to Mercedes for the right reasons. There is assault and blackmail and word gets out about what Mercedes has been up to. AND OF COURSE….the slut shamers come out in full force for Mercedes and not the guys! SHOCKER. Sure, some of the girlfriends are mad at the guys but all the hate and shaming falls on Mercedes. I always appreciate books that show this double standard because GAH IT MAKES ME SO MAD.

Also, the actual romance in this book was SOOOO SWEET.

So in general I appreciated things in this book but there were some things I was unsure of or made me disconnect a little from the book:

1. I understood Mercedes’s intentions and reasoning in some ways (even though I disagreed) after learning what happened to her in her past. I got it. But I can’t say I felt particularly connected especially because I just never felt like I really knew Mercedes in general. The character development was a little lacking for me. I just felt like I should have FELT more for her even though logically felt bad for what happened to her.
2. Some of the things felt like a Lifetime movie and also the ending was suuuuuper neat and tidy and I felt weird about some things I can’t really explain.

+ plot & how it pulled this storyline off well, how I devoured it, so much discussion around teen sexuality & more, cute romance
–  never felt like I really GOT Mercedes, some eye-rolly things, some things with the ending that I can’t fully explain

Re-readability: No
Would I buy a copy for my collection? Nah but I hope they have it in my library!

contemporary YA fans who like something that might be polarizing, fans of sex positive books, readers looking for something that explores sexuality, maybe fans of 17 First Kisses

Overall I enjoyed this one! It was a read I couldn’t put down because I was just waiting for the implosion! It made me feel uncomfortable at times, was super provocative and I really appreciated the way it explored so many things about teenage sexuality.

* Have you read this one? What did you think? Similar or different from me? I would LOVE to hear regardless!
*If you haven’t read it, does it feel like something you’d be into?