I love learning and I’m always yearning to learn but I HATE being a beginner. Struggling to master something or just plain old not even being decent at something is something I HATE. I hate the awkwardness and the fumbling and the failing and the frustration. I know this about myself. I wrote previously how I am in awe and inspired by my friend Jessie and how she is always trying new hobbies and things and how sometimes I feel like it’s too late for me to start something and be good at it at 32….but a lot of my problem stems from hating being a beginner. My feelings on having a beginner mindset are just SO negative for some reason.
But I have to tell you….I’ve been REALLY inspired lately….by Riley and her beginner mindset. Yes, that’s right. My 7 month old baby. It’s amazing over the past 7 months to watch her be a complete beginner in life. I mean, literally since the minute she came out of me she’s had to learn everything from the ground up. It’s an incredible thing to witness each little thing that she learns/discovers and totally turns up the volume on my high-pitched Mom Voice and sets it to ear-piercing as I encourage her and tell her how proud I am of how hard she’s working (and totally tell her what a genius she is).
Right now she’s really working on crawling. She’s SO close to doing it. She gets up on all fours, rocks back and forth and will try to wiggle her butt. (In the last day or so she’s been able to figure out how to go from a crawl position to sitting up and vice versa..it’s so fascinating to watch her FIGURE IT OUT).
Sometimes she gets frustrated when she can’t seem to coordinate everything for the desired outcome and sometimes you can just tell how delighted she is when she even moves forward just a little bit. No matter how many times she falls flat on her face or gets frustrated she’s back up and I can see the concentration in her face as she really works to figure out just exactly how to coordinate her body to move to the dog’s ball (she loves these balls we have for her but oh man Finn’s gross tennis ball is much more appealing to her) or one of her favorite toys (she’s obsessed with her maracas).
As much as it bothers her at times to not have it mastered, it doesn’t stop her from trying and trying and trying again. She practices tirelessly and scoots herself backwards and around in circles somehow in the meantime and she’s just SO eager to move forward, I can tell. From her tirelessly trying to crawl, she discovered that she could move her body to get herself to sit up on her own should she so choose to want to go from a laying position to a sitting position. The beginner mindset in a baby is incredible.
As I was watching her, I thought to myself, “wow I wish I was that earnest in my pursuit to learn to do new things.” I let my discomfort of not being good at something during that whole beginner time period get in the way of actually pursuing new things time and time again. I also think I get lazy about it? Maybe not lazy but I just let myself be comfortable where I’m at and decide I don’t HAVE to pursue this new thing and that’s fiiiiine, just fine.
I just don’t have this sense of urgency nor perseverance that Riley seems to have. She’s a sponge and seems to soak up every opportunity to learn a new skill. The first time I gave her a spoon she studied me hard for a good minute or two while I was eating with my own spoon and then brought that spoon to her mouth (albeit a little messy). Today? She’s great with a spoon.
Through watching Riley I see this joy, that I seem to have missed, in being a beginner and working towards mastering/being good at something enough to enjoy it. It’s exciting and you can see how proud of herself she is when she GETS something. Just today she saw Finn’s ball a couple feet away and somehow she managed to scoot herself and stretch out as much as she could and I wish I could have captured the moment on her face when she pulled it towards herself and she had it where she wanted it. I could honestly write a whole post about watching her learn and about being a beginner. It’s really cool to watch her do/experience things for the very first time.
I think there’s also this sense of endless possibilities in being a beginner that Riley has shown me. Once she learned how to sit up you could tell she recognized all the new possibilities this would allow her. She could play differently, she could have a new vantage point, etc. Imagine all the possibilities if I could have that beginner mindset Riley has? All the things I could do? All the things I could discover?
How am I going to change my view on being a beginner and cultivate a beginner mindset?
The rest of this year I decided I wanted to take Riley’s lead and embrace being a beginner and tap into some of that child-like wonder when it comes to the world around me. I’m going to suck up my discomfort and frustration and laziness in nurturing a new skill and I’m just going to tackle it and make moves like Riley does with a more positive beginner mindset driving me.
I picked 3 things that I’m really going to work on (and embrace a beginner mindset) for the rest of this year. Stay tuned tomorrow for when I share those 3 things because I’m going to need lots of encouragement and tips and cheering on. I think the 3 things I picked perfectly sum up how adverse I’ve been to being a beginner. They are all things I’ve wanted to learn/improve but my frustration leads me to keep the status quo. I’m excited to share them with you!
<< CHECK OUT THING #1 I WANT TO LEARN >>
<< CHECK OUT THING #2 I WANT TO LEARN >>
<< CHECK OUT THING #3 I WANT TO LEARN >>
What’s the last new thing/skill you learned to do? What’s your feeling about having a beginner’s mindset? If you could skip the beginner stage, what’s one thing you would love to pursue if you? Do you find the joy in being a beginner like Riley seems to? Or are you more like me?
P.S. 6 Life Lessons I’ve Learned In The Past 6 Months // My Ultimate Plan To Make Winter Suck Less For Me
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Erica Robyn says
Your daughter is so beautiful!! And lovely post!! This one really hit home with me today. I just started a new job, doing something I have no experience in. I had to do a ton of training to learn about the products my new clients sell (flooring), and then I had to learn the process of the program. I have marketing experience, but this is a very specific vein of marketing. I definitely need to remember not to get so frustrated when I don’t know exactly what I’m doing and just learn and grow as I go 🙂
Jamie says
Thank you! <3 Ugh I feel like new jobs are the WORST feeling of being a beginner. I feel all sorts of inadequate with a new job and I just want to be good at it so nobody regrets their hiring decision lol. YOU GOT THIS! It takes time which is SO frustrating but soon you will be settled in and knowing what you are doing!
Erica Robyn says
Thank you!! <3 I'm very excited to get to the point where I feel confident, but I know it's just time! 🙂
Angela says
Such a great post, Jamie! I feel the same way a lot – I don’t like to try new things, especially around other people, because I want to be good at everything right away. I get frustrated really easily. My sister has been wanting to teach me how to crochet, but I keep putting it off because I don’t know if I’ll be good at it, or how long it will take to get good at it. But I’m feeling inspired by your post!
Jamie says
Oh my gosh YES that is especially a good point — especially around other people. That feels like THE WORST TO ME. Even if I was in a beginner’s class I would still feel like I didn’t want everyone to see me be bad at something. Let her teach you!! It will be awkward and fumbly and frustration at first I’m sure but what’s the worst that can happen? You find out you don’t like it? Well, you tried! I will post on it tomorrow but my one thing I want to learn is a hobby sort of thing but I keep looking at it like this, when I think of how when Riley is learning and discovering new possibilities, let’s say I get into this hobby….there are new possibilities. What if I get into it and I’m actually good at it after a while? I could possibly make a living with it! I could meet knew people because of it! I could find fulfillment in it! I could just be really happy with the ~end product~ just for myself. Who even knows…the possibilities are there and I won’t know unless I try! Might fall on your face so to speak a few times (in Riley’s case for real lol) but eh you got this!! <3
Hana Bilqisthi says
This is really good lesson. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Jessica Magruder says
I know how you feel but I guess never really thought about it until this post, I hate being a beginner too! All the frustrations of feeling like you don’t know what you are doing! I usually like to stay in my comfort zone but try to push myself and my husband really pushes me too and I’ll be stressed but then once I do it (and especially when I get better or learn from it) I feel so good!!! Recently the big thing I learned and hated being a beginner at was driving stick shift! My husband has been wanting to teach me for awhile and I always told him no and finally last year I decided to learn because we were getting married and I came to the realization that he is always going to drive a stick shift and if I ever need to drive him in an emergency, or take over during a road trip, or if my car goes caput since it’s crappy, I need to be able to drive his car! So we began our journey of me learning stick and it’s so scary so different from automatic and I failed lots of times and got so mad at myself and just couldn’t wait to be comfortable with it and learn already but now I’ve come so far with it, that the last time I drove his Jeep this past Thursday he told me I am finally ready and can officially say I can drive stick! I finally feel more at ease and feel I could drive it if need be! My next step is a solo ride!! But it’s going to come in handy big time in April because we are moving across the country (another motivation to learn) from PA to Washington state we have been getting rid of all.our things and are going to get rid of my car and are only taking his Jeep (two door) and a trailer (not a uhaul or rental, it’s an old Jeep trailer we converted to be a camper trailer with a roof top tent on it) and whatever can fit and driving across country and camping along the way! So he will do most of the driving (he loves driving) and I can take over if he needs a rest and also won’t have my own car for awhile!! Gosh this is long so I’m going to end it here all in all I’m happy I stepped out of my comfort zone and learned a new thing and want to continue to learn, try new things, and step out of my comfort zone! Looking forward to your next post, and you got this!!!
Nikki says
A few months ago I made an apple pie completely from scratch. I love to bake, and had tried pie once before. I totally failed so it always made me nervous to try it again. Everyone told me it was a waste of time and that the store bought crust is so much better and easier, but it was something I’d been wanting to do for a long time. I felt so accomplished when I did it!! The dough took a couple tries to get it right so I could work with it, but I did it!! But I feel the same way as you do… I hate feeling like a failure. It’s hard to tell myself that it’s okay to not get things right on the first try. If I could skip the beginner stage (and inevitable failure), I would totally learn to make macarons.
Jeanelle says
This is great!!!!
Maddy says
She is so cute!!
Jamie says
It’s amazing what you can learn from littles eh? Love your perspective! <3 Jamie
Tristin Rieken says
This is so true! Only I feel I’m the opposite… I’m ALWAYS starting new projects and trying to crafts and creating NEW things that I’ve found the newness and the stumbling and trying to figure it out is ACTUALLY what excites me and after that initial learning curve, I’m bored by the thought of creating the same thing again and am constantly shifting rather than focusing on really honing a single skill. After reading this post I realized that that excitement for beginner’s pursuits started when I first became a mother! But it’s been my entire adult life and so I just thought it was who I am, when in actuality it may be correlated with parenting. Great perspective! I’m going to goose three of my many pursuits to focus on and hone in for the next year.
Angie says
You have to start somewhere-I’m loving your outlook on this! Plus, that baby-SO cute!