I saw a life coach I love, Ashley, do a post entitled If We Were Having Coffee and I decided to take her lead and do one myself in November 2013 because I loved it and sometimes I feel like we forget that there is a whole life behind the people that write and read blogs. I got such a great response to my initial post so I made it a reoccurring thing for the past couple of years and do it when I feel so inclined!
Grab your coffee/beverage of your choice and meet me for a chat. It’s been a hot minute since I did one of these and I’ve been feeling it in my BONES that I need to sit down and chat with y’all. I’m currently drinking a Sweet Leaf green tea!
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’m currently reading Stay Sweet by Siobhan Vivian! It’s a perfect summer read thus far and I honestly was hooked from page 1 because of how it starts!
If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that I’m S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D which normally results in me being NOT productive because I’m too overwhelmed to figure out where to start so I just end up scrolling my phone or doing something else I shouldn’t be doing. I mean, it makes no sense. I’m stressed about the vast number of things I need to do AND YET I do things that aren’t on the list of things I need to do. I’d ask you if this happens to you and if have any tips for breaking that bad habit/cycle??
If we were having coffee.…I’d tell you that we are moving which is a huge part of my stress. We are moving about 40 minutes away (further from the city) to a rental home that is 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and lots of livable space — a step up from our small one bedroom. We are closer to my sister! I’ve been having a hard time with it honestly. Change is hard. I feel sad leaving this place even though it’s nothing special. I LOVE the area we live in but we were running out of time and I had to expand my search area to find us a new home. I’m sad about leaving all the things I love in this area. I’m also having a hard time because where we are moving is more rural than I prefer (I grew up in a very rural area so I have a grasp). Nothing is close, we have to drive far to get to ANYTHING and there aren’t good food options (I’m a foodie what can I say) and there’s just…not a lot. I’ve been in mourning the past week since we signed our lease because I’m just sad about it. HOWEVER..I gave myself time to feel my feelings and now I need to look at it more like an adventure. It’s only going to be a year hopefully. To help myself focus less on what ISN’T around I’ve started a small bucket list of things in the area I want to, a small list of things *I* want to do that’s kinda similar to what I do to help me through winter and already have joined a couple of local mom FB groups to find people to hang out with and ask what things are going on in the area.
If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that we came out the other side of that terrible sleep regression I talked about the last time I did one of these posts and it’s been glorious. I feel like a human again although the past 2 nights she was up a lot…and BOOOM new tooth…so makes sense. One thing I’ve learned about motherhood is that I really have to make decisions with my gut no matter what anyone says. One of the big things people talk about, in parenting circles, are sleep training vs not sleep training. I just personally (I don’t judge if you do it at alllll) found that I don’t find sleep training to be for me. During this TERRIBLE 2 months of NO SLEEP (I mean it…we were on fumes and fighting over everything and feeling so broken) everyone kept telling me to sleep train because, even though she slept through the night for months before this, that THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY. My gut kept saying that if I kept supporting her through all the things she was going through (colds, ear infection, new skills like crawling, developmental leaps, etc.) that she would return to her norm. So I kept pushing through and helping her (or co-sleeping) when she needed help getting back to sleep in the night. I’m no martyr. Trust me, I complained and cried probably every day. But I felt in my gut that sleep training didn’t need to happen for her and we could wait it out. We both agreed night after night when we’d be up at 3 like “MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST LET HER FIGURE IT OUT?” that in our hearts it’s not what we wanted despite how hard it was. And what do you know….she came out of it and slept amazing since. I’m GLAD I didn’t listen to everyone else, even my ped, and just focused on my family and our decision. There’s a lot of noise as a parent and I think this 2 month period showed me to listen to myself more and go with that gut feeling or the feeling that feels RIGHT for meeeee.
If we were having coffee…. I’d tell you that I’m failing on my fitness goals. I know that the problem is I’m not making time for it but it’s not like I’m just sitting around. Mom life and work shaped things and obligations and sleep and blogging (because I NEED this outlet) and keeping our home semi-tidy — I’m just having a hard time scheduling it in. I think maybe things will be easier when we move because we will have more space. I don’t ever want to wake up super early to do it for fear I will wake Riley up (one bedroom apartment problems!). Perhaps I could possibly fit in a short workout in the living room while she is playing independently because we will actually have room for me to do so and not break my neck on her toys. I genuinely am excited to get back to workout because I LOVED my workout routine before I got pregnant and was seeing awesome results (strength and loss of inches and just FEELING good). I’d ask how you fit your fitness in your busy life. Tips, I need all the tips!
If we were having coffee… I’d tell you that I’m scared to death about what comes next for me. Last week was my last week of work and I have NO idea what comes next. I have no plan. The career thing has always been a pain point for me. I haven’t quite figured out what I want and what makes me happy career-wise. And when I do think I find something it doesn’t pan out. SO…I have until the Fall to figure it out. It feels scary to know that now I have a kid who relies on me to not screw up. THAT IS A LOT. Will has always been patient and supportive in this journey with me but now it feels really do or die. HOW DO I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP? (says the 32 year old)
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I let go of 200 books from my collection (in anticipation of the move) and it felt freeing to ultimate be like “yeah I’m probably NOT going to read these books.” It was interesting to see how my interest waned for some titles or how many books I’ve owned for like 8+ years and have never picked up. It’s funny that I’m getting MORE room finally but scaled back my book collection. I figured I could always get the book at the library if I suddenly desired it.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I’ve been struggling to feel like my voice is relevant. I know that’s a thing bloggers go through but at 8 years of blogging and changing my blog direction (I talked about some of the ups and downs here) I just feel that really hard. Especially with the non-book topics…it’s hard to feel like I can add anything meaningful or new to posts about motherhood or personal development or travel or anything else I want to talk about. If you are a blogger or a writer of any kind have you ever felt like that? I’ll be honest I never really felt that much previously.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you I’m struggling with being more present and less on my phone. Since having Riley it’s opened my eyes how I’m quick to grab my phone. I mean I play with her all the time and am attentive but woo boy I’m addicted to that phone. I’ve been trying to put it across the room so I don’t mindlessly pick it up. That’s what is scary. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m picking it up and starting my scrolling tour through the internet and social media. I don’t want to be glued to my phone for no reason or purpose. Anyone else struggle with this?
If we were having coffee…what would you tell me? Come on…lay it all out! It’s just you, me, the pleasant sounds of a cafe…and maybe some other eyes in the comment section but NBD right?? Our we can have coffee in my inbox if you don’t feel comfortable. I really want to know! What’s going on with you?
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Annemieke says
If we were having coffee I’d say I also struggle with grabbing the phone in the moments I’m not busy with anything and it is a bad habit I have too. It is terrible. I need to schedule it a bit.
If we were having coffee I’d say I’m glad you stuck with your gut regarding Riley’s sleep regression. Kids that have slept well before usually can return to it on their own. Merijn has had his regressions but always returned back to his usual sleeping.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that Merijn is busy with his second round of molars and this one molar is just not moving along. It is half way through and it is bothering him.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that I love that we have the sun out but that I am struggling with this heat. I really prefer 20 degrees over the tropical 30 we are apparently getting today. Merijn is with me on this. He gets heat rashes.
Jamie says
YES it’s like the first thing I turn to when I get a second of down time. It’s just so EASY. It’s so mindless for me too. Like let’s say I grab my phone to see what time it is while Riley is playing. Then suddenly I’ve scrolled Instagram, checked facebook, responded to an email, got caught up on the latest drama, put a few things in a cart for a retail site of some sort….and oh hey I still don’t know what time it is lol I have no self control anymore
YES that’s exactly what I felt like too. I KNEW she could do it. I didn’t need to do anything differently…whatever was going on she just needed to work her way out of it. I don’t blame people if they went through the long months of hell we did but my gut just didn’t feel like it was the right thing for us.
I have ZERO idea what teeth are coming in with Riley because she won’t let me look in her damn mouth ever! I’ve heard the molars are brutal.
Ah poor baby with the heat rash!! I love the heat and the sun but I’m finding with a kid it’s less fun because I’m too worried about her getting burnt or overheated.
Rachel @ Never Enough Novels says
If we were having coffee I’d tell you I’m reading the Court of Thorns and Roses series right now and I’m literally abandoning everything in my life at it’s expense. I’m late to this train, but I’m completely hooked now! I’d also tell you we’re thinking about having kids soon and I’m terrified of that complete life change. I love my free time! I love blogging and reading and baking and am hoping I’ll still be able to fit some of that in if we have children. At least I see you doing it and it’s inspiring 🙂
Also, fitness related, I have a subscription to the Beachbody OnDemand website and I LOVE it. They have a huge variety of videos and most of them are thirty minutes or less. Sometimes I just do a tough workout for 15 minutes and call it a day.
Jamie says
Ahhh nice! I only read ACOTAR (when it first came out) and then got so behind because I was on vacation when book 2 came out and I just NEVER GOT TO IT. I need to catch up.
YES this was me (is me?). I love my free time sooooo much. And I won’t lie at first it was REALLY hard for me. I struggled. I still DO but it’s less. Once they start sleeping more consistently you do feel like you get some of that free time back and a helpful thing for us is just being really up front about the things we want to do. So like tomorrow night he is going to a soccer game and like a few weekends ago I got my hair done and had brunch with friends. And like sometimes on a sunday when we do our normal grocery shopping if I’m feeling like I need time he will just take her with him and I stay home and read for like 45 minutes. Being really open about it was great because we both can get our needs for free time met. And genuinely though, especially as she’s gotten older, it’s been really fun to go do things as a family and my “free time” looks differently. Sure I would still love to sit by the pool all day on a Saturday and read but I also am having a lot of fun taking Riley to a farm or to the park. It’s just DIFFERENT and you really do start to adjust. Some days are harder like when I just want to binge watch something all day or read or just DO MY OWN THING but I see how quickly these stages go (I mean, not when you are in them) and I know that more free time will come. More of my pre-baby life will come back.
NEed to check out that fitness program!! Thanks for sharing!
Lauren @ Bookmark Lit says
Man I am SO with you on the stressed thing. It should motivate me to get things done and feel better about my life, but instead I just get overwhelemed and do stupid things all day. UGH.
Like I said the other day, we’re moving back to CT and will be at a house in a pretty rural area too. The only lucky difference for us is that it’s less than 15 minutes from UConn, so there are a lot of things to do and places to eat. But at first glance, you wouldn’t even notice that it IS that close. I guess I’m just hopeful that you guys will enjoy exploring the new area and find some hidden gems! Also, having a bigger living space that you want to spend more time in will definitely make it so you don’t have to go out AS often? and maybe you can take more fun day trips!
Jamie says
WHAT IS UP WITH IT. Like why do we do the opposite of what we should be doing as a coping mechanism?? It’s so counterproductive lol. Silly brains.
Oh that’s fun you will be near a big college town! I hope that you guys find tons of things you love in your new area, too! I think everything will be fine and I will just need to adjust and take it for what it is….which is really hard for me because I hate change. But making my area bucket list and my list of things I want to do will be good for me, it already has been, to focus on the GOOD instead of what I’m leaving behind. And omg I sometimes feel super extra about this because in all reality IT IS ONLY 40 MINUTES AWAY from where we live now. It’s not like I’m packing up and going to another country lol
Kristin (SuperSpaceChick) says
Ah I can totally relate re: the working out! My husband and I just moved from a one bedroom into a two bedroom and now I’m able to get up early and work out in the other room without waking him up! It’e been a dream come true! And I went through the same unhauling process! It really does feel good to let go of the books you know you’ve lost interest in (although some are harder to let go than others!)
Jamie says
It’s such a game-changer!!! Before Riley Will and I both worked out at the same time — at around 6:30/7 he would go to the gym and I would do my workouts here and it worked sooo well. But now Riley doesn’t go to bed until 730 so we wouldn’t want to start it later because then we are too amped up before bed. So I think more space will definitely give me more opportunity to get a workout in. Even if it’s quick.
Hana says
I’m a librarian and started following your blog for the book recs–but now I love seeing glimpses of Riley and I’m interested in the other stuff you recommend, too, like cute clothes, music, and gift ideas. My kids are past the baby stage but I can relate to how difficult it can be. Anyway I just wanted to say, keep it up! Your content can’t always be, like, revolutionary–but it’s still interesting and often helpful. I also totally can relate to the good feeling of weeding a book collection, too. That was an unexpected perk of becoming a librarian, I feel like it’s challenging to curate the perfect collection but ultimately so satisfying to get rid of the stuff that’s just cluttering the shelves.
Candice @ The Grown-Up YA says
I literally went to go make a cup of coffee after reading your post… because if we were having coffee, I’d say “me too, girl” to just about everything you said.
Now, I don’t have babies, and while I don’t want to compare my new cat to your baby, I get the issues of sleeplessness. And I especially get doing what’s best for your family. Is it best for my family (ie me and my two pets Evie and Ginger) to put the pets in the guest room at night so I can get a full night’s sleep? No. What’s best is letting them both snuggle up with me, Ginger keeping my feet warm while Evie purrs in her sleep, and then waking up at 4:30 with Evie to go get on the sofa. When my aunt had her son she was nearly in a panic over not being able to breastfeed because everyone told her that was best. My mom, totally old school, told her she needed to do what SHE thought was best for THEM, not what others thought was best. Sage words, Mom. I’m glad your sleep habits are better now and that you trusted yourself to go with your gut!
Workouts… they are both the best and worst parts of life. I’ve lost 50-60 pounds in the past couple years (wow that’s an embarrassingly lot) and it’s a daily struggle to find exercise times. A while back I had a stern sit down with myself and reminded myself that you make time for your priorities. So I would schedule workouts on my calendar. There were so many times I turned down last minute stuff because “hey, I already have plans.” THAT BEING SAID… I also don’t have kids who require my time. But there are times in life when workouts just aren’t feasible. So I turn every day activities into workouts. Cleaning the house, I do squats to pick up stuff, I purposely take one item at a time to its proper place. Grocery shopping/errands, I park farther away and take the long route to what I need. YouTube also has fabulous workout videos of every style possible. I refuse to make my day longer than necessary because I like sleep, so if a true workout isn’t in the cards, a sneaky 5 minute one is better than none!
“I’m scared to death about what comes next for me.” DITTO. I’m scared of that, but even more scared that there isn’t anything coming next. Like this is it. I struggle with restlessness, and lately it’s been terrifyingly bad. Silly story, but last year I went to New Orleans and saw a psychic/tarot card reader. She said that I needed to sell all my stuff and move to Canada to do something big, like volunteer with an organization. At the time it was like “pfft, lady I’ve got bills!” Now though…. Not gonna lie, I’ve looked at houses in Canada a couple times. Careers are tricky if you don’t have something specific. I decided a long time ago that I didn’t want a career. A job that paid for me to enjoy life was enough. And it still is, but I think I get bogged down by the every day routine. Perhaps you have a purpose outside of a career. Not saying don’t work, but maybe find something that feeds your soul while having a job that feeds your wallet!
Voice not being heard? Yep… I LOVED blogging, and I MISS it almost every day. But when I sit down to write anything, I just feel like I’m one more voice in a sea of voices. Not the loudest, not the most relevant… It’s TOUGH. I think because you’ve been one of the longer-running book blogs, you’ve made a name for yourself within that community. But outside of it? There are other bigger names. I’ve tried my hand at other blogging topics and ran into issues where no one reads what I write. It’s disheartening! But if you want to include other non-book topics on your blog, do it! It enriches it and shows who YOU are. And hey, people leave novel replies to them sometimes (sorry! I’m incredibly long-winded when I type these days!). Personally, I’ve loved your blog (and you!) for years but have also loved seeing your changing posts as you have changed!
Erin says
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that this is my favorite “Mom” blog to read right now and that it’s been a lifeline. The age appropriate gear post have been super helpful and it’s also just nice to read the perspective of a more bookish Mom who likes her downtime. That has been a huge transition for me as well but mostly joyful because family time is so fun!
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that we have a nine month old and we haven’t sleep trained either. It hasn’t seemed right for our family. I’d tell you that it makes me feel like a bad Mom sometimes because everyone I know has done it and recommends it. I worry sometimes that I’m too “soft” or something but I just can’t ignore her when she cries. Which no judgement at all on sleep training Mom’s…our love just barely ever cries and so I’m just not used to it.
If we were having coffee I’d tell you that the Seattle real estate market is craaazy and I totally feel you on the struggle to find an affordable and practical family home. Our lo does not have her own bedroom and it really sucks sometimes.
I’d tell you to keep believing in yourself on the job hunt. Career can be a tough thing because it’s so tied into our identities…but you have a lot to offer and you have done and are going to do great things.
If we were having coffee I’d drink four or five cups cause I’m not sleeping well right now, my lo is teething. Coffee is my favorite vice. 😂
Kimberly Jensen says
Yay for those mom instincts! Those are so important, and obviously you were right!
There are a lot of different definitions of sleep training as well. I got mom shamed pretty hard for weaning Maylie off of night feedings, but I knew she didn’t need it anymore. All of her signals said comfort feeding instead of hunger. And her pediatrician backed me up. Sleeping training does not mean CIO, which many people assume. The stigma is hard because I see a lot of moms talk about how terrible sleep training is and “how dare a mom value her own sleep over her baby”. I just wish more people understood what sleep training (properly done) actually consisted of. I’m considering becoming certified as a sleep consultant! I find it so fascinating, and helping parents and babies figure sleep out is so satisfying. I’ve talked to some parents who still had their child waking up every three hours to eat until they were 18+ months.
I hope you found the sleep group at least a little helpful!
I’m not working this summer, so I’m hoping to take Maylie on some adventures. I don’t know what those adventures will be yet, but the aquarium and splash pads are definitely on the list!
Jessica Magruder says
If we were having coffee I would tell you that we have a lot in common and I have a lot to say!! Quickly – totally agree on being stressed which makes you overwhelmed to get all the things done and agree on spending too much mindless time on the phone! I tried to help that with clearing out my phone and making it more simple having less apps and have less social media accounts but I still need to spend less time on it!!
But I feel you on the moving thing. As I’ve shared with you before that my husband and I moved from PA to WA recently and it’s been so hard adjusting to this new life! We went from a 93 acre farm to a city! We are homesick and I miss all that was my comfort zone back in PA (home, family, job, local spots, etc.) But your advice of creating a bucket list of things to do and be excited about is great! We are slowly adjusting and also know that this is only a year lease and we have lived in similar situations before and we can get through this! We also feel like this is an adventure and we are trying to make the most of it! I’m sure you will find plenty to enjoy in your new place!
The cause of the most stress for me is job hunting. I’m in the same boat as you at 29 and not knowing what I want to do with my life and also not having skills for a set career path I wish I would have gone to school for something that would get me a certificate or degree for a job (such as xray tech, nurse, IT, …etc) instead of a bachelor degree in psych because I don’t know how to pursue that further or if I want to. It’s so hard getting a job here I’ve applied to so many and have only gotten rejections so far so it’s hard on my heart! I got two interviews next week so I’m going to keep pushing and trying to keep my head up! But if I don’t find anything soon I’ll just have to get any job to bring in some money.
And I may not have a kid to support but I feel you with the pressure because my husband is being so supportive of me but also not happy with his job and he is waiting for me to get one so he can pursue another because we are relying on his income and health insurance right now. It’s a tricky spot to be in!
Life is challenging and we just got to keep pushing through and keep our head up and take it all one step at a time! It’s nice to look back sometimes and see what you have already overcome and know that you just have to give yourself time and get through this! It’s nice to know I’m not alone in my feelings so thank you for sharing, love these posts!
Good luck with your move and job searching! Cheers to new adventures!!
Lisa @ Reading, Writing, and Random Musings says
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I’ve been struggling with the fitness thing as well. I’ve done Jillian Michaels 90 Day Body Revolution in the past with GREAT success (not so much weight loss but huge toning benefits), but I’m not sure I’m up for the commitment now. I just signed up for a class through Daily Om called Fit and Fierce over 40 (I know you’re not that old, but I’m guessing it might still be worth it). 20 minute intense workouts and then you’re done. I’m starting in the next couple days!!!!
Laura @BlueEyeBooks says
THIS!! There are so many things I relate to. I’ve been having a relevancy crisis too. About five months ago, my stats dropped exponentially and I can not figure out why. I tell myself that stats don’t matter but I can’t get myself to stop caring about it. I’ve decided that I’m going to try and focus on what made me start my blog in the first place, though, and write what posts make me happy. I also have been really stressed lately, mostly because I’m also moving and there’s a lot of uncertainty as to when the moving is actually happening because my work schedule is completely up in the air. There’s also just so much to do ALL THE TIME and sometimes I get a little overwhelmed, like you. I think the main things that help me get through it are lists and having scheduled time to relax. The hardest part about doing anything is actually starting the task and I find that if I physically write down things I want to accomplish during the day in tiny steps (for instance, today I wrote “make cookie dough” and “bake cookies” as two separate bullets), it makes me feel so accomplished to have a majority of the things crossed off at the end of the day. It helps so much to break something down and focus on manageable things during the day. I also try to dedicate an hour or two before I go to bed to just laying in my bed, watching Netflix, and drinking hot chocolate. I write my to-do list for the next day before this so I’m not thinking about it while I’m relaxing and I just take that time for myself to wind-down, even if it cuts into my sleep a little. Anyway, I’m realizing this comment is hella long so I’m going to wrap it up 🙂 I hope everything with the move works out and best of luck with figuring out a work out routine (I’m absolutely no help with this; I’m the worst at carving out work-out time!).
Laura @BlueEyeBooks
Emily says
I feel the “I’m not relevant” feeling ALL of the time. Even when I post about books or writing I’m like “but I see hundreds of other readers and writers… am I just shouting into the void? Is there an over saturation of us? Am I just repeating what everyone else is saying?” It’s tough. But, I also have to remind myself that no one can say what I have to say the way I do. Yes, I might have a similar opinion to others, but it’s still uniquely through my eyes and I still have a new perspective because I’m different from others simply because every single person is different. For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing an awesome job!
Tizzy says
Sorry that you’ve been feeling stressed. I procrastinate when I feel overwhelmed with tasks too. Moving can definitely be stressful and any change is hard to get your head around. But hopefully, it will be worth it. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the extra space and being close to your sister. And I know it’s a bit daunting not having a career plan right now but it will work out. You’re not stuck in a job you hate, you get to choose your next steps now and that’s exciting!
I’m glad Riley is sleeping better. We had the exact same attitude with regards to sleep training and like you, we found that our daughter just sorted it out herself in the end. I had a lot of pressure from other people just telling me to let her ‘cry it out’ but I really wasn’t comfortable with that. In the end you have to go with your gut, your instinct as a mum is usually right. I struggle to be present sometimes too. I barely look at my phone but I am on my laptop way too much for writing and blogging. I’m trying to limit it to times when she is asleep or not around and make sure I focus on doing fun things with her instead. I don’t want to look back on this time and regret how I let it slip past without making the most of her.
I don’t have any advice about the fitness thing because I’m honestly failing at my fitness goals too. Exercise other than running around at work or after Leona is just not happening. I keep telling myself I will start a new regime in the evenings but I am always so tired that I just want to blog, read and sleep. Oh well.
I also struggle with feeling my blog is not relevant. I always feel I don’t post enough interesting discussion posts and I don’t review all the latest ARCs so I wonder if anyone cares about my posts. But then I read through my comments and see that while I don’t have tons of fans, I have a few regular readers who keep coming back for my content. If only one person is reading and enjoying my posts I still feel it’s worth it. For what it’s worth, yours is one of my favourite blogs. I love your honesty, your posts always feel so real and down-to-earth. I’m always really interested in your perspective on both motherhood and books. And whenever I come here I always see a lot of nice comments from other readers. So believe me, your content is definitely relevant and loved by a lot of people!
Ginger @ GReads! says
If we were having coffee… I’d come over & help you pack, while drinking said coffee. We’d put on music for those impromptu dance parties, because every packing party needs a soundtrack. We’d laugh, we’d share memories, we may even cry a bit. I’d offer to keep Riley if you & Will need some time to take care of last minute preparations, or even offer to keep Riley & Finn during the move.
Jamie, know that Bestie Row is always open. Love you!!
La La in the Library says
I’m not big on “training” anything for kids, not even potty training. Encouraging, yes, training, no. We raised my son more as a friend than “parent authority figure and child”. He’s brilliant, kind hearted, well adjusted, and a hard worker. I’ll take a few sass-backs because he sees me as a friend; it was worth it because he told me everything as he was growing up. He never felt the need to hide anything and I never wanted him to respect my wishes because he was afraid of me. Why would a parent ever want that? So you go girl! Listen to that mama’s gut. 💜