Sometimes I have these times in my life where I’m like GOD I WISH THIS THING EXISTED TO MAKE MY LIFE EASIER OR BETTER. Sometimes I find out that it’s like, in fact, a THING made by those As Seen On TV people and sometimes it just stays a great idea in my head because an inventor I am not.
There are quite a few things over the course of my reading life that I wished existed so if anyone wants to put their inventor hat on or like find a magical way to do these things I will be your first customer.
1. A device that helps you unsee spoilers: Y’all know that blatant spoilers are the bane of my existence but SERIOUSLY this would be perfect for those times that you are minding your own business on the internet and your eye hones in on a big fat spoiler for something you love on Twitter or Tumblr or in the comments section. You just hit the button and BOOM never saw that shit. Related: a device that shocks people when they are assholes about spoilers? Too cruel?
2. Built in reading breaks & “drop everything and read” days: I mean, if someone gets like 10 or 15 minutes to go puff on their cancer sticks a few times throughout the day than I would personally like a reading break for the same allotment of time. Related, I would really enjoy if every couple of months we just the equivalent of a mental health day wherein you could just stay in bed with a good book. DROP EVERYTHING AND READ BREAKS/DAYS OFF WOULD BOOST HAPPINESS AND PRODUCTIVITY. There’s probably science to back that up.
3. Book-It For Grownups: I don’t want Pizza Hut but if Chipotle had a Book-It program for grownups I would be all over that shit and getting free burritos daily. Give me pin, give my stars and give me the Chipotle I deserve for all the books I read. And I mean, like YAY for other adults who don’t normally read maybe being persuaded by free Chipotle to crack open a book once in a while.
4. A device that shrinks books down for easier storage: I mean, my kindle is great for saving some space but I’m a physical book girl at heart. And really how awesome would this be? Packing for a trip? NO NEED TO FRET OVER WHAT BOOKS YOU WILL TAKE. Pick 50 books, shrink them down, tuck it in your purse and don’t worry about being stuck with books you aren’t in the mood for or in a perilous situation wherein you FINISH all the books you packed. This would also be so fantastic for people like me who live in a one bedroom apartment and have exceeded your book storage space x 1000. Like, I’m not sure how there isn’t some ordinance about how I’ve exceeded the allotment of books to be in a small space. It would be soooo nice to be able to shrink the excess until I need them and not have piles everywhere.
5. A device that puts all my feels together about a book and then puts it in coherent words and sentences and maybe even a damn good review: Because sometimes I have so many feelings about a book and I just don’t even know how to translate those feelings into human words. See recently: this book! Related, maybe a device that would allow me to transfer my feelings about a book to someone else. This would be so great. Like, oh…you are on the fence about this book? Here take my hand and just FEEL what my heart felt like reading this book! DON’T YOU WANT THAT TOO????
6. A device that plugs into my brain to help me not only remember what happens in previous series books but let’s me feel the emotions all over again: This would be so useful so I wouldn’t have to reread…I could just plug it into my brain and it would quickly jog my brain’s memory about what happened and let me experience the feelings I had when reading it the first time. (I say that last part because THIS happens to me sometimes when I continue on in series)
7. A device that would perform a scrub of my brain so I could experience a book all over for the first time (but still be able to access all times I’ve read it immediately after): One of my all time favorite movies is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and well I want to use that device but instead of scrubbing past loves out of my brain I would want to be able to read books again for the first time. But my only thing is I wouldn’t want to lose any of my reads of it for forever. I want to get lost in it like it’s the first time but after be able to recall every read. Does that make sense?? Especially because if I read a book 5 years ago and read it now my first time reading it would be different and I want both experiences. BUT GOD THERE ARE JUST SOME BOOKS I WANT TO READ AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME.
8. Robot hands to hold my book and turn the pages: Because sometimes I am THAT lazy. But for real. Also sometimes getting comfortable is hard and sometimes books are real heavy.
9. A device that would allow me to slip into the pages of the book and experience the story from the point of view of the main character: This has been like my childhood DREAM and it hasn’t ever gone away. I just want to magically be able to slip into the story and experience it. I mean, with the exception of these books because there are some worlds and lives I would probably not want to experience.
10. A device that gives me the ability to read faster but still retain and experience it fully: Because seriously….so many books on my TBR and so little time. DAMN YOU FINITE LIFE SPAN.
In things that maybe could happen, I recently tweeted Goodreads saying I wished that you had the ability to follow people’s individual shelves and maybe get a notification when they add a new book to it soooo I hope they listen because people seemed very enthused about my idea. I mean, there are some people who I would LOVE to follow their favorites shelves or some people keep good track of Aussie YA and I would want to creep on that and oh the people who keep great track of upcoming books.
So tell me…anyone else wish these things to be real? TELL ME THINGS YOU WISH EXISTED!!! I promise I won’t steal your idea and make millions off it. I mean, maybe. Depends how difficult it is.
Jayvee @ Writer For Misfits says
I LOVE THIS SOOO MUCH! HAHAHAHA!
Jamie says
🙂 NOW IF SOMEONE COULD MAKE THESE THINGS HAPPEN
Kathleen P says
I love this list and I NEED the Book-it program for adults. Now I want to work on a way to get this to happen.
Jamie says
PLEASE DO!!!!
Beth W says
I would totally vote for #2. In a heartbeat. And I agree with your ask to Goodreads! I also wish there was a way I could combine my OverDrive library account with my Goodreads account, so any book I add on GR I can potentially check out on the library, and reviewing in one place reviews in the other.
Jamie says
Oooh I like your idea about Overdrive and GR. I had a similar thought wishing that my library account I could import my TBR so that I can remember which books I want to read and be able to see them and if they have a hold/if they are in my own library or if I have to interloan library it.
Yujung says
3 and 10 is absolutely so cool!! We definitely need 7 🙂
http://yumiandyuji.blogspot.kr/
Jamie says
Hopefully someone will hear our desires!!
Rosy says
Yes to all of these!
Reading breaks should definitely become standard, I would be much happier at work if I knew that there was a little reading break around every corner.
Also the reading faster bit? Yes! my TBR grows daily and then more books fly through my door and then I manage to read hardly any any cry with lust and need at my growing pile.
Rosy | Sparkles of Light Blog
Jamie says
RIGHT? I feel like I could work really hard to get to my work done and then have that great break. GAH IT WOULD BE GREAT.
And I feel you….my TBR just multiples like rabbits for every one book I read WAH
Rachana @ Addicted to YA says
I always find it kind of funny when people go on about how much they hate spoilers because I’m the complete opposite..in fact, I go out of my way to find spoilers so a device for doing that (apart from google I mean) would be really helpful XD. But I REALLY WANT TO READ FASTER!! I’m not a slow reader but still, I need to read ALL THE BOOK 😛
Jamie says
Hehe I have a couple of friends who seek out spoilers! I really like to know very little. And I feel the same way…I’m not a SLOW reader (maybe a distracted reader lol) but it’s more that there are SOOO many books.
Pili @ In Love With Handmade says
Chipotle points & free burritos for reading books?? I’M HERE FOR THAT!!! Goodness, how I’d love that!!
Oh and the shrinking books too!!
Jamie says
RIGHT?? Maybe it would make more people read. But most importantly…I could sustain my Chipotle habit lol
Josephine says
This is FANTASTIC, I can seriously agree with every single thing you said; with every single point you made. WHY CANT THESE THINGS EXIST NOW?!
Being able to shrink all your books down so you can store and carry more at once? Yes PLEASE. And I’d love that device that allows us to read faster – think of all the books we could read!
I think I need that device that turns crazy good feels into a coherent review – I had so many feels over Queen of Shadows that I still haven’t written a review for it, months later.
Jamie says
Somebody needs to hear our wishlist here!!! Oh many…and yas QoS was a HELLA hard book to review so I FEEL YOU. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP US AND INVENT THIS STUFF
Lefty @ The Left-Handed Book Lover says
This might just be the greatest list to ever exist in all list history. I didn’t even know I wanted most of these things until I read this. They were just unspoken desires in my heart that you put words to. What I thought about while reading #2 is that one of the high schools I went to had a 30 (I think) minute reading break every day, and I just thought that was the best idea in the entire world. You could read magazines, novels, comic books–anything, really, as long as you were reading. I wish they’d do that in all high schools. It encourages students to read more, but to only read things they want to read. Anyway, I know that’s a little off the topic, but…oh well! Once again, wonderful wonderful wonderful list! 🙂
Jamie says
Oh man that is awesome that you had that! We had that in middle school to drop everything and read for like 20-30 min but never in high school. Maybe people would have stuck with reading in high school if they could have time to read.
Krista says
I agree with ALL of these!!! Every single one.
Jamie says
🙂 I’m glad I’m not the only one!!
Sakina says
This is incredible! #9 is something I’ve been dreaming of ever since I could read! Sometimes when I’m reading a good book I’ll start daydreaming that I’m actually inside of it. Like whenever I read Harry Potter I’m always that extra DA member that J K Rowling forgot to mention, who went along with Harry and the others to the Ministry of Magic to fight Voldemort. If only I could experience that for real…😊
Jamie says
YES SAME OMG. I have vivid recollection of being a kid and reading Little House on the Prairie or Sweet Valley High or Boxcar Children and just wanting to live in the pages for the duration of the story!
Michelle says
Yes to every single one of these!!!
Jamie says
*fist bump*
Tiffany (About to Read) says
I need a speed reader and robot hands too! Being able to actually be inside the book would be AMAZING!
Jamie says
Even if it was like a virtual reality simulation I would be happy!!
Tiff @ Mostly YA Lit says
OMG THIS POST IS AMAZING. As usual, Jamie, you kick all of our arses at blogging.
I would like a device that would let me be friends with all of the authors I love and maybe be able to pick their brains…especially if they are writing sequels or something, like, can I just get in there? Because I just have to know!!!
Other than that, all of these, but especially the speed reading thing, the device for translating feels into a coherent review, and the thing about being able to read a book for the first time again. Lately I’ve been really lamenting the fact that I can never again experience Just One Day for the first time and it makes me super emotional.
Jamie says
Thanks love <333
Heheheh seriously...gimme those next books I need! I CANNOT WAIT.
And omg SAME re: JoD...I just want to experience it for the first time!!!
maria helena says
I need this. Especially #2!
Jamie says
Hopefully someone will hear our wishes and invent this stuff ASAP.
Brittany says
A++ gif usage in this! Loved all of these ideas 🙂
Jamie says
Why thank you! <3
Mel@thedailyprophecy says
A device to help me out with writing a review, oh yes! It would be great to explain a little how you feel and something will just translate it into an epic review that represents your feelings. Sometimes it’s so hard to put the right words on it.
Slipping into the pages of a book has always been a dream. If I can’t sleep, I like to imagine this, especially thinking about the fact I could disappear into Hogwarts for a while.
Imagine having some sort of USB you can connect to your brain, where you can store all the information fro previous books. Hehe.
Jamie says
RIGHT? Like sometimes I just want my heart to vomit out my feels into something that makes sense and sounds good.
OOOOOH I love the USB idea…like “oh yeah…I read that but can’t remember…let me just refresh myself real quick…and then have full detail in like 30 seconds. Would be SOOO helpful when behind on writing reviews haha
JoLee says
Oh yes. I dream about being able to read a book for the first time all over again. Especially Harry Potter. I don’t think I could put a price on how much I’d pay to be able to read that series for the first time again.
Jamie says
I feel like that’s a common sentiment!! I am currently in the middle of the series for the FIRST TIME and all sorts of comments come at me like OMG I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU!!!!! 🙂
Riv @ Forever Obsession says
Yes please to all of them!
Jackie Onyon says
I would love to have all of these!!!
Tasia says
I definitely need all of these things? We do we talk to to make all of this happen?! A book-it program for adults is a freaking genius idea!!! But we don’t have Chipotle in Hawaii sooo this is going to have to be a multi-company thing, haha
Preethi @ Fierce Reads says
There is literally nothing on this list that I do not wish for (except for maybe Book-It, which I’ve never heard of before but sounds like a lot of fun!). Somebody please make the things on this list come true!
Heather @ Random Redheaded Ramblings says
Oh YES TO ALL!!!!! This is a great list!
Candice says
This is a super list! I nooded along with a smile on my face after each should-be-invention! My favorite has to be the Book-It for grownups. Actually no, I love them all!
Trina (Between Chapters) says
YES PLEASE! I’d take all of these! #2 would cause workplace productivity and happiness to rise so much. There are studies that show reading for just 6 minutes significantly reduces stress. So just a 6 minute work break would give you happier employees!
Wendy @ Book Scents says
I need EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS PLEASE! I have legit gotten back aches or hand cramps from propping up a heavy book or not able to get comfortable sitting with the book. How do I fix this?! And snuggies don’t really work because my hands still get cold. I’m so picky haha.
Kay @ It's a Book Life says
YES!!!! We `00% need BookIt for grownups, along with everything else on your list. I love this!